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Sadness Augmentation; I have no clue what grocery stores exist over in America (open!)
Topic Started: Feb 15 2016, 01:02 AM (1,343 Views)
TwelveFourtyFive
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((Darius Van Dyke continued from Nants Ingonyama Bagithi Baba))

One might wonder why Darius took a picture of a pineapple with his phone. The reason is the irony of spamming a douche with a picture of a pineapple where a hand revealing the middle finger is shown. That douche was called SpongeBot in the IRC and linked him to this virus he managed to prevented from harming his computer. Hopefully.

Besides, he had to buy stuff. Not a pineapple, but bananas and apples, for example. Kingman's shops were favourable.

Putting the phone back into his jeans, he was walking with his shopping basket, where bananas, apples, but also ham were in it. And energy drinks, of course. Darius noticed a known face.

"Whoa, you and food together? I did not expect that", Darius said, before laughing at his own joke. He approached him and pat on Alvaro's shoulder, adding: "You're the opposite of Bart. You should really eat. It's healthy." Darius had to keep a big grin on his face while saying that.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Darius released his hand from the shoulder of that blonde boy. "Glad that you told me that you're currently high", he enthusiastically spoke up while grinning. "That was a necessary information for the well-being of everyone around here", he said with a rather bored tone.

What the fuck was going on with the Alvaro kid anyway? 'Hi' after already talking? Who does that? Maybe he was really high.

"Playing soccer requires energy, though. Is your blood sugar level a basement?"
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More Cochise people coming to this section of the mall. Great. And the newcomers probably have the intention of trying to defend the poor, innocent Alvaro from the evil, criminal Darius.

Scarlett, defending Alvaro as if Darius tried to get his lunch money. Darius wasn't that kind of guy. He wasn't like Michael.

And did he even need to mention Ben "Spikey" Fields? He's watching them from the back. Maybe Ben Affleck wasn't the next Batman. Ben Fields is. Watching Gotvegetable City.

If they want to play cop and undercover cop respectively, they should go to the fucking donut section, dammit. Geez, was it a donut station for cops? No it wasn't, it was a vegetable section. That's like the opposite of donuts.

"I'm the least bothering person! We were having a civil discussion about how cucumbers can be used as..."

Did he want to finish it that way?

"...eye pads."
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"Shuddup", he quietly and quickly said in response to Alvaro's fun ruining, before turning to Scarlett again. Scarlett wanted a joke? Scarlett will get a joke.

"Okay, so a joke. Where did soldier John hide after a bomb attack?"

Ben came. "Any ideas? You, Spikey?"

Darius then turned to Alvaro, asking him for the answer.

"Any calls, Alva-"

Darius jumped back, with a surprised face.

"Fuck! I thought there were suddenly ropes hanging from your torso...But it were just your arms."

Did Darius point out enough already, that Alvaro should eat more? There's no too much, until it was too much, though. Anyway, Darius had a smug grin on his face again.
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Scarlett was being a bitch. She tried to look serious and tried to drag the whole conversation down into the direction of everybody apologising and quoting the bible and feeling sorry and sad and Darius would have to buy handkerchiefs in this store to get rid of the tears he would shed as a result of this tragedy of breaking Alvaro's poor innocent heart. No, this was not going to happen. At all.

"Oooh, I'm scared. What are you going to do? Tell the police I did a joke? Sue me and get me arrested? Geez, you have no clue what humour is."

Darius' voice was shaking and slowly fade away the last sentence, because it was ridiculous, so he giggled after he finished speaking. Alvaro meanwhile looked like he was hurt by a joke. What's his age? Twelve? Kingman, a place where people can deal with drugs but can not deal with words. That guy has some serious self-esteem issues. Darius was not insulted each time he was called fat or received some other insults. But eh, that was just evidence that he was more mature than this junior student. Like, how could this Alvaro guy even survive in school? Was there actually nobody who commented on him? Did he even socialise?

"Hey Fields, I cannot make jokes of you, since you're the only one in the room who has cool hair besides me", he said with a wink and a movement of his head, emphasising his falling hair. Ben was the only one in the room who wasn't whiny or aggressive. Except maybe the grocery clerk if they have to count pennies.

"But I can tell you the punchline of my joke. Where did John hide after the bombing?"

Darius put his hands together and quickly put them away again with a 'poof' sound he made.

"Everywhere!"
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Fuck, what the fuck was Ben thinking? At one moment laughing and at the other moment grabbing him. Darius never expected to be grabbed at the mall for anything. Physical interferrence is the best way to stop Darius' mouth, makes sense. When you got nothing better to say, you just attack them.

He tried to resist, of course, but with no good results for him.That was a fucking escalation of the situation. Well, how to get rid of Ben? Darius knew how to. But first, get rid off another joke he wanted to tell. It seemed like Alvaro would leave. So tell it now before he actually left, despite the bad situation he's currently in.

"Bye, Alvaro, see ya later!...Oh shit, I forgot. I have to warn you about the grid on the floor when you exit the store! You could fall into therhahaha."

Darius had to giggle of thinking of Alvaro falling into a grid because he's so scrawny. Sadly, he couldn't see a reaction as he had to get rid off the other idiot.

Darius knew Ben. He heard of his views. It never bothered him, because why should he?

"Y'know, Benny Boy. Some people call me a faggot, others call me a motherfucker. That makes me bisexual according to them, right?"

However, Darius disliked and disagreed with Ben's view and won't regret making fun of it. Darius had a gay uncle. Really, he was like Macklemore. Except, that was another Ben. So it was Ben's smart view versus Ben's dumb view. Ben beats Ben.

"Ben, I'm bi. How do you feel about this, sweetie?"

Darius then wiggled his eyebrows while looking at Ben. He wiggled his fucking eyebrows. He risked being hurt physically, but he wasn't scared at all. He was confident. Up and down. Up and down. His thick, brown eyebrows went up and down. Wrinkles appeared and disappeared from his forehead. His smile was big on his face.

While not scared, looking into Ben's black eyes gave Darius the feeling that something really bad would happen.
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Ben shot the lamest joke counter attempts at Darius he had ever heard. Vegas Clubs? Trouble with ladies?

"A-ha. Ha."

Ooooh. No. Not worth a smirk.

"Just. There are other things you could do here. Instead of trying to fight me."

Ben seemed to be like an upset baby. That tried to intimidate Darius.

"Like...you could waste your time on. Playing with potatos or something."
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"I wanted a fight? Tell that your grandma."

This bullshit was not worth Darius' time. A middle finger was shown. A second one followed. Then a back was turned, away from Ben and the others.

"Sayonara, muchachos. An advice, though: Chain Alvaro so the wind doesn't take him away. It's windy."

And with that, Darius went away, to buy something else, in a different section of the store, away from Ben and the others.

His mood was not really better now. But he was amused at the thought of Alvaro wearing a collar like a dog to not be taken away from the wind, floating in the air as if he was a balloon. And at the end of the dog leash Ben was holding it, protecting dogs who needed no protection, asphyxiating chihuahuas in a bag full of bullshit.

((Darius Van Dyke continued in Can't Get A Break))
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