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Everything You've Always Wanted To Know; Mild content warning; Health class, 9th/10th grade. Open (really)
Topic Started: Jan 23 2016, 01:16 AM (1,684 Views)
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“I'm fine,” Danny said into his hands.

He was not fine. But he had to say he was fine. He had to be cool. What was he supposed to say? The fake dick was making him uncomfortable? He wasn't a baby.

And Emma was, like, super smart and pretty and all that. So he didn't want her to know he couldn't handle all these dildos. ...Wow, that came out wrong.

He managed to lower his hands and try to look calm again. At least being black made it harder for people to tell when he was blushing. But then Jeremy just had to say that, and give him the visual of Emma using that banana dildo.

Stupid overactive imagination.

Danny covered his face again. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ on a unicycle.

Why did this all have to be so… not funny?

“Can we...” he started timidly, voice muffled by his hands again. “Can we just… put the banana cover back on? And… maybe just… do the work without… yeah?”
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Fucking hell.

Haley couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image Jeremy’s quip gave them: a banana dildo being tossed in the air, and landing perfectly in someone’s crotch. A hole in one, Haley thought, giggling. But they retracted the mental image the second they remembered that Jeremy was talking about Emma. Don’t get them wrong, it was still funny, but Haley drew the line at imagining family in sexual situations.

Then Danny spoke up. The poor kid had his head in his hands, and Haley almost didn’t hear him. He timidly asked their group if they could focus on the assignment and not get too lewd.

Haley’s first thought was that he was a killjoy - the rest of the group was having their fun, and it wasn’t their problem if Danny couldn’t handle it. But another small part of them did feel kind of sorry for the guy, so they were ultimately neutral on the prospect. They’d already had their fun - Sovereign Haley had stepped down from the throne, and was out of the political sphere of the Banana Dildo Kingdom. Now all they had to do was sit back, relax, and watch over the kingdom from afar. Like presidents when they get too old.

It was all up to Emma and Jeremy, though they doubted that the latter would let up.

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The corners of Emma's mouth pulled into a small smile. Danny said he was alright, but it was the sort of thing people said when they didn't want to draw attention to themselves. He seemed to look less embarrassed, though.

Her smile stopped when Jeremy spoke again. That was a joke. She knew Jeremy enough to realize that it was. But the second he finished giggling, the banana had slipped out of her fingers and spun gently on the table.

The numbness left her wrists quickly, but she felt the blush return just as fast.

Emma didn't want that mental image of her... of the banana... no. Dang it, Jeremy. Again, it was a joke, but she didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about that at all! She heard a giggle from Haley, but Danny had that look again.

While she didn't realize it, Emma looked just as horrified.

"Err... yeah..." she said, hesitancy in her voice. "D-don't make jokes like that."

She tried to smile again. Tried. Gosh. She really shouldn't be so... just a joke, she reminded herself. Dang it. Jeremy, why?

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His grin fell, slightly. Still a smirk, but no longer a laugh.

“Okay then.”

Because given the reactions to what he had just said he probably went a little too far there. Whoops. Won’t do it again. Well the odds were that he was going to do it again but at the point when he actually did do it again it was likely that everyone involved would have forgotten about this. Well, actually thinking about it it was unlikely that he was ever going to forget the glorious reveal of the banana penis, it was just one of those things that you could easily bring up for weird experiences. Maybe in 20 years he’d be talking to his children or grandchildren or whatever (wait wouldn’t he be 34 in 20 years? His children would have to really fuck up if he were to have grandchildren at that point) at the dinner table and he’d be giving them the marvelous tale of the day he and the other three losers at his health table discovered the glory of the banana penis. Assuming he lived that far, anyway.

But yeah, he probably went too far. That happened. Typically when he was around Emma but occasionally other people would get offended at him too. Emma didn’t really mind it when that he did in the end, although others did sometimes. Difference between Emma/literally most of his actual friends right there.Well, it was less of a “he liked people who didn’t get offended easily” thing and more of a “he liked people who actually gave him chances for his mistakes in addition to being people that Jeremy actually wished to talk to and be around.” Hopefully this incident would be more of the same. It’d kinda suck for him if it didn’t, especially considering how he almost sounded cocky before.

He placed his chin on his hand, leaning forward slightly.

“I’ll take the thing if you don’t want it now.”

Then a voice made his body jolt. Someone unknown, saying his name. He looked up. There was a kid. Year below him, he thought. Wait no. Little more than that. Probably like, someone in year 8 or 7 or something like that. Office boy. The slave of the receptionists, for the day.

...Oh, so apparently he had to go somewhere? Well. Okay then. Least that meant he didn't have to do the stuff with the condoms.

"Actually, nevermind that. 'Pparently I have to go somewhere. See ya guys later."

And with that, he stepped up, and left the building.

((Jeremy Frasier, continued elsewhere))
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Danny didn't look up for a while. Emma seemed equally as non-enthusiastic about the jokes, so at least he wasn't alone in this. That would make him a buzzkill or a killjoy or something un-fun. But if the playing field was equal, then it was common sense. That's how it worked, right?

Jeremy didn't push the jokes, though. Awesome. Well, not awesome. Awesome was like… 'hey here's a free ice-cream' or 'hey, that pretty girl is into ballet and is cool with swapping numbers.' Someone agreeing not to make uncomfortable jokes was less awesome and more… uh, some other word. Okay? Acceptable? Yeah, that worked.

Danny looked through his fingers for a moment, before lowering his hands and trying to behave like he was completely unperturbed by events. Granted, he wasn't really looking directly at anyone, but no-one would notice if he just looked slightly above and to the right of anyone's face, right?

Yeah. He totally got this shit down.
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