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Welcome to Survival of the Fittest, a RPing board loosely based off of Koshun Takami's Battle Royale, with its own unique plot and spin on the 'deadly game'. We've been around quite a while, and are now in our thirteenth year, so don't worry about us going anywhere any time soon!

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Mac Porterman; ERROR MACRO
Topic Started: Jan 15 2016, 04:18 PM (387 Views)
MurderWeasel
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Heya, Darkus, and welcome to SOTF!

Mac is DENIED pending some pretty serious overhaul.

Mac's appearance section is a pretty solid start. I'd like to know how much he weighs, what style he wears his hair in, whether he wears any jewelry, how his posture is. What are a few distinguishing facial features of his? I'd also like to know a bit more about his clothing, ideally what he was wearing on the day of the abduction and what styles he wears in general.

Mac's biography is where we run into some bigger issues. Mac's biography revolves entirely around one thing: his prosthetic arm. Unfortunately, the details of his arm don't mesh with the SOTF universe. SOTF is set a world much like our own, with a few little changes; unlike Battle Royale or The Hunger Games there is no super science in play. If a character isn't someone you could imagine being a fairly typical student at your high school in real life, they probably don't fit the SOTF mold. The level of change required to get the arm situation up to snuff is pretty extreme, and to be totally honest I don't think it's worth the time because the terrorists, as part of their security protocols, confiscate anything electronic from the students, which would absolutely include prosthetic arms.

More than that, what's really interesting to us is who Mac is as a person. What was his life like growing up? Who are his parents? What economic class is he from? How does he get along with his family? When did he develop his interests? How has he changed over the years? Who are his friends? How does he do in school? How does he spend his free time? What does he think about the world?

I'd really suggest giving this guide a read, especially the part labeled "Profile Content" as it deals with the sort of depth and style of information we're looking for. You should also look through some of our Approved Characters to get an idea of what completed biographies look like. Coleen Reagan is a good example of a character with some unusual traits that are still appropriately grounded and who's still solidly fleshed out beyond them.

My big suggesting here for a revamp is to think about Mac as a person, figure out what about his psychology speaks to you and how his life brought him to where he is prior to the start of the game.

Post when you've got Mac retooled, and we'll give him anther look. Thanks!
V7:
Juliette Sargent
Alton Gerow
Lavender Ripley
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MurderWeasel
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
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With the start of V6 Final Applications, this profile has been moved to the abandoned section. It is eligible for immediate resubmission for final applications pending edits requested by staff.
V7:
Juliette Sargent
Alton Gerow
Lavender Ripley
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
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