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My Friends Are Assholes; [Private/PM for entry]
Topic Started: Dec 30 2015, 07:44 PM (2,316 Views)
TwelveFourtyFive
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((Darius Van Dyke continued from Genki Shojo Nancy-Chan))

Darius was pissed. But the piss was a mix of worry and anger. The anger was directed at himself for being irresponsible, but also partly at the other people for not stopping him for being irresponsible. The thing he was worried about were all the tracks he had finished and that he couldn't play the tracks he had anymore.

That night, music was stuck in his head. Now, music was stuck in his head as well. That night, it was party music, this time it's saxophones. Damn it, Detective Conan, you're such a weirdly good anime. Just the ears being located at the necks was shitty.

Detective Darius had to gather the witnesses. It was the only thing that troubled his mind right now. And getting it back was the only thing that could ease it.

He was in the school, the witnesses he had lure were also here.

Waiting at the picnic table, he planned. He had seen Fiyori today, where was she? He'd find her.

Anyway, Darius pulled out his phone and messaged somebody, not Fiyori. A person who was also there, at the party. Caedyn.

[Hey please come to the green belt. Im waiting at a picnic table]

Caedyn had to know what had happened to his baby.

So Darius waited at the picnic table to wait for Caedyn, until he saw somebody. A tall girl. It was Fiyori? Or was it? How many tall girls are here at Cochise? For fuck's sake, he had to go to her. She was there.

And with that he left the picnic table to search for Fiyori, who he thought he'd seen.
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TwelveFourtyFive
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Darius eyed the stick as it landed on the ground. Naturally, he'd reflexively say something like 'Fail' or 'Wow, you suck at throwing' or 'Wow, bad'. But he was way too distracted. This situation was way too serious to joke around.

"Could you please come with me?"

Darius looked back to the picnic table, where he wanted to meet Caedyn.

"I have to ask you some important questions."

Darius moved his feet into the direction of the picnic table. Caedyn wasn't there yet.

Caedyn, Fiyori, why couldn't he remember more people. Oh, he now could remember who else he had to call to this place.

He looked into his contact list. Bradley.

[COuld you pls come to the green belt now]
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Oh god, why had Fiyori to be so bitchy now. On any other day it wouldn't have mattered, but now was not the time to mock him.

"Eyy..."

He turned to the seats and could see that Jeremy was also there. He motioned his hands to him, with a hand sign that meant like 'wait' or 'keep calm' or some shit.

He had no clue what to do about Fiyori, though. He wish he could just pull her to the green belt. Cuff her and bring her to the interrogation room, as if he was a real cop.

And as he couldn't blackmail with anything, he had to bribe.

"What do you want? Food? I have bubble gums. And snickers."
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Jeremy, check. Fiyori, check. Bradley, missing. Caedyn, missing. Jerry, what the fuck is he doing on the table. Impressive jump. Put an apple into the mouth of the wrestler and it'd have looked like Jeremy's going to eat a Jerry Fury for lunch.

However, Jerry was not involved in any of this. He was not a distraction yet, but if he stayed, he would be. Nevermind, a guy who lies on tables already is. So Darius had to politely demand him to go away to mind his own business. To not disturb his 'homework study group'. It was important, after all.

"Fury, could you please fuck off?"

He eyed him with an annoyed face before reaching for his bag next to the table to pull out some bubble gums and snickers. He handed the snickers to Fiyori and offered Jeremy bubble gums. "Want some?"
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Dick Van Dyke. A true diss. I am so fucking hurt. You call me a celebrity. Too bad I have no compliments for you.

Darius ignored Jerry's reply by not replying to it. Not that he could do anything against Jerry's dumbness disturbing him by replying to him. DFTT. Doesn't that dude have friends he hangs out with in breaks? Oh, Darius bets that his brawny friends lost themselves somewhere in the school building and they have yet to find a way out...

What his mind annoyed less than Jerry, but still annoyed him, was the fact that Fiyori just took his gum. But he promised her it, so it doesn't matter, but he had paid for them. He just smiled at Fiyori; she had what she wanted.

Darius then received a message at his phone. A photo, Bradley posing next to the Green Arrow, highlighting his belt. 'at the green belt what now'.

Darius had to smirk, but just inwardly. He wanted to keep his credibility of being in a bad mood. He wasn't going to act like the good cop for the people here. Darius replied to Bradley, explaining that he meant the green belt at the grounds.

Okay, he could start without Bradley. Bradley wouldn't have abducted his baby either way. But he still was important to solve the case.

Detective Van Dyke was ready to reveal why the fuck he gathered them together. He loudly clapped his hands together.

"So all of you,", Darius didn't want to stop, just because Jerry was here, "except the uncool people, were there, at the party last night."

Captain D. Obvious.

"My problem is, that I barely can remember anything. So I'd like to ask you some questions...Has anybody of you seen my Nintendo?"
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"Yes, I brought a Super Nintendo to a party", Darius stated in a sarcastic voice. "No, it is a Nintendo 3Ds. Like, the ones you can actually carry around."

Darius was fucked up by Jerry attempting to gain the sympathy of others by making fun of him. And he was totally disturbing.

"And it was expensive and important. Not cheap like your jokes, Fury."

He waved his hand at Bradley, when he arrived.

And suddenly he knew what had happened. It was Caedyn. Clearly. It always was Caedyn. She always does this kind of shit. She doesn't even need a motive to do it. Fucking with him just for the lulz. Of course it was Caedyn.

The murderer always tries to leave. The criminal wants to ignore the case, ignore the fact they had either abducted or murdered an innocent baby that was not even a year old. Caedyn just wants Darius' life to move on.

But Darius won't forgive. He won't forget. He ran towards Caedyn, until he was in front of her, to stop her from escaping the interrogation.

"Hey, you know what happened to my Nintendo, don't you?"

Darius looked her deeply in the eyes. Darius was a living lie detector right now. He got closer to her face. He just needs either evidence that she did it or just make her admit that she had done it.

"Where is it?"

His poor Nintendo. Caedyn had stolen it. Or even worse, destroyed it. Or even worse, sold on amazon. Or even worse, she gave it to somebody else.
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Darius had to laugh at Bradley's comment. Oh god, that was funny. It was insulting him yeah, but whatever. It was funny. Bradley's impression of Valley Girl. Just too perfect. And imagining Grannies to play 3DS? Great!

And then he was licked. Like what the fuck. So random. So Caedyn. Maybe it meant something, like she wants to hide the fact that she stole the 3DS. But maybe it doesn't. Caedyn, after all.

Darius rubbed his licked nose against his shoulder, in hope of getting it clean again. Well, to get rid of Caedyn DNA off his nose. Darius did not want to imagine what was touched with the tongue.

Caedyn explained herself. She claimed that she did not steal it. Lie/Doubt/Truth. Tough call, because Caedyn.

And Jerry had made another joke. Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Jerry should serious become a comedian. Publish a book with jokes. His autobiography. It'd be a hit in some developing country with a low literacy rate, at least. Perfect toilet paper.

Eyeing Caedyn again, he looked confused. He had no idea what to say. How to begin the sentence. This was just a surrealistic situation. Maybe he is still not sober from yesterday.

"What the fuck was that? Don't do that again, I have no nose-licking fetish."

Truth.

"Okay, so I believe you. You haven't stolen it, alright. But you were there yesterday. You must've known at least a person who could've done it."

But it appeared Fiyori knew it.

Jeremy was in the process of leaving.

Fiyori pointed out that HE stole it.

...

Maybe.

"Hey! Stop, Frasier! Don't dare to leave this area. I know where your house is...and I have enough peanut butter at my home."

Well, that was a threat.
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People were confused. Especially when Jeremy asked about his peanut comment.

"Eh, so you're not the dickhead with the peanut allergy?"

Darius pointed his index finger at Jeremy as if he was Phoenix Wright.

"Well, then you should. Peanut allergies for all thieves!"

But yeah, Jeremy had a legitimate reason not have stolen his DS. On the other hand Caedyn pointed out something Darius couldn't remember last night. Jeremy was suspicious, eh? Then Jeremy was a suspect. Darius concluded that Jeremy's excuse was what is was: An excuse.

"If it's not the 3DS, it's Mario Kart 8. That's what you wanted, then."

No clue why Jeremy thought that the location of the party was his home, though. Like, it wasn't even his party. Darius would've smacked the host of the party, if they asked him to host a party at his house. His room was sacred and nobody drunk except himself and maybe some friends shall ever enter it. But eh, who gives a fuck about that? It's just the 3DS that is important right now.

Not sure whether to laugh or eyeroll at Bradley's comment, which was on one hand unexpected and funny, but on the other hand a bit late, Darius wanted to comment Fury's comment. He quickly mouthed a 'thank you', with his hand mimicking Michael Scott, to Fiyori for pointing out the stupidity of Fury.

"Feel free to leave, senior Fury. But you're not crazy. You're...just not capable of understanding conversations not about CM Punk and...Shazam or however that irish ginger wrestler is called."
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Well, then it was not Mario Kart 8 but Mario Kart 7. Guh. Details. Numbers. Wow, such a knock-out argument.

And who cares about what the wrestler's called? Bradley's wisey wisey wisdom correcting was obnoxious. Bad Bradley habit.

At least Bradley pointed out, that Frasier was bad at defending himself. Let the pros do the talking. Another thing was that Caedyn and Fiyori were witnesses.

"Well, looks like you're caught, Frasier".

And Jerry...

Let's not further discuss Jerrestler's conversation. Conversation? Monologue? Soliloquy? Was there a hidden camera anywhere?

Turning back at Jeremy, he wanted to conclude this dilemma.

"So, where is my 3DS? Tell me. Did you steal it? Did one of your friends do it and you didn't want to backstab them?"
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Crossing his arms, he realised that Caedyn and Fiyori made good points.

"Really? Randomly accusing Fiyori to be a thief?"

Darius looked skeptical about Jeremy's claim. Jeremy's points seemed to be pulled out of his ass.

"Wow, stop being so racist, Jerebear!"

He liked the nickname. Jerebear. He had to managed to pronounce it without laughing out loud, but with a big grinning face.

He really was tempted to pat Jerebear. So he reached with his right hand for Jeremy's hair to rub it, to ruin it, to make it chaotic.

Also, did Jerry say something? Darius thought he heard something, but he wasn't going to ask Jerry to repeat what he said.
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It was weird to stroke the hair of somebody so big. Note to self, don't do that again.

And the big boy then wanted to hide behind his cousin and the guy who was randomly here.

Caedyn took pictures...or looked at pics? But that did not matter to Darius, when he saw his baby.

His green 3DS. Fiyori handed it to him. It was there. It was his 3DS. It was his Nintendo. It was his.

Darius quickly grabbed the 3DS, making sure it doesn't fall on the ground (not that it mattered as it happened twice or thrice, but it was still intact!). It was alive. It wasn't sold. It was in his hands.

The detective, with his hostage in his hands. The hostage that was killed and then revived. The hostage that was presumably made a slave and sold to somebody else. The hostage that was recovered without a scratch. The detective who had lost nothing in the process of recovering it, except maybe a bit of sanity.

Sanity. Darius considered to kiss his 3DS, symbolically. As if it was a book or film. But that'd be way to weird and not so good for the mouth. It also-

Fuck it, he'd still do it.

Smooching his 3DS for a millisecond, he hugged it, embracing it close to his chest. Close enough for nobody to ever touch it again. His adventures he shared with this piece of metal, metal, chips and more metal should remain his.

"Whoa, I had a shock. So relieved. Jesus fucking Christ."

He exhaled. Now the drama was over. Smoke later, probably. Continue playing at home. Never bring things that are worth more than money on the world to parties when drunk ever again. Darius had his 3DS returned.
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"What."

Jeremy looked oddly at him. Darius softened his hug of the 3DS and then decided to just hold it in his hand.

"Geez, can't you respect my personal privacy, Jeremy?"

Dang it, he wanted to call him Jerebear, but he was too slow to realise. Not that it mattered, as people were leaving. They realised that the case was solved and that everything that had to be done was done. Darius also realised this revelation and decided to leave this place like the others did.

"See ya later, Jeremy."

Like lemmings to the cliff that was called school. Well, Darius was a lemming with wings, because he actually had good grades, unlike other students from his dumb grade.

((Darius Van Dyke continued in They Really Are))
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