Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Survival of the Fittest, a RPing board loosely based off of Koshun Takami's Battle Royale, with its own unique plot and spin on the 'deadly game'. We've been around quite a while, and are now in our thirteenth year, so don't worry about us going anywhere any time soon!

If you're a newcomer and interested in joining, then please make sure you check out the rules. You may also want to read the FAQ, introduce yourself and stop by the chat to meet some of our members. If you're still not quite sure where to start, then we have a great New Member's Guide with a lot of useful information about getting going. Don't hesitate to PM a member of staff (they have purple usernames) if you have any questions about SOTF and how to get started!

Let the games begin!

Username:   Password:
Locked Topic
Wade Cartwright
Topic Started: Nov 6 2015, 12:04 PM (485 Views)
Member Avatar
i'm not upset
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Howdy, I'm Ruggahissy and I'll be your moderator for this profile

So first off: Go through the profile and take the information that is in parenthetical asides and put it into the profile without being in parenthesis. The parenthesis aren't super professional which is why they aren't used in the character bios.

Hobbies and Interests: Webcomics, RTS/TBS/city building/simulator games, running, action anime/movies (good or bad)

So I might not just be totally not in the know, but I don't know what RTS and TBS are. If they're just city building and simulator games, that's covered by saying city building and simulator games. Also, take out the parenthetical that he likes both good and bad action anime and movies. It's not necessary.


- There's no hair color
- What kind of mustache does he have?


"Both found themselves with a very strong financial position"

Slightly confused here since they were both out of work when he was born. Did they get jobs between then and this point?

"began to employ his techniques in everyday use after Wade's birth."

Are both of these people working? Is one of them staying home? Are the both staying home? Who is doing the homeschooling here?

"and even managing to join and participate in a local soccer club for a while before a minor hip injury the year afterward scared Mira off. "

I'm going to assume this is some kind of kiddy soccer club since he's 3 at the moment and being smart wouldn't give him the athletic skills needed to join an older soccer club. You may need to talk about this hip injury. If he's 3 years old an injury like this would affect at least how his parents feel and deal with him and it frightened his mother enough to pull him out of the kiddy soccer.

"that came with the relative lack of technology. "

I find it odd that a four-year-old cares about not haven technology.

"Wade, at the time, acquired the image of a wonderfully gifted child"

Is he actually gifted or is that just the image his parents put on him? He learned to read early and has basic use of computers, but none of those things are terribly remarkable. I've known people who could read at 3 as well.

"And it was when Wade was at the age of eight that Mira and Alfred acquired a computer along with a steady Internet connection, "

Woah wait. I thought he already learned to use a computer and whined about the lack of tech when they go camping. They didn't have a computer until he was 8? Then what has he been learning on and whining about? He doesn't go to school so he's not taking computer classes there.

" to a few puzzling mannerisms,"

Like what?

"During this time, he discovered a new passion for writing fiction and reading articles"

What sparked his interest in fiction writing? What kind of articles does he read? And why does he do both of these things?

I find his inability to do hard sciences and math interesting. This would indicate that he isn't really as gifted as his parents made him out to be while he was growing up. In fact, he seems to be bright, but not extraordinarily so, and only in certain subjects. Does the fact that he's finally put with other kids and then doesn't perform above and beyond affect him in anyway, especially since it appears that he's been told he was special? How do his parents react? This is a pretty interesting wrinkle.

- How is he planning to go into biomedical research if he's bad at math and science?

"Some theoretical knowledge of things like hand-to-hand and sword combat (actually, some of his imagined sequences are surprisingly influenced by the fiction he watches and reads) "

That's not really helpful.

" a few survival tidbits picked up from Discovery Channel, a military textbook"

Since when does he watch the Discovery channel or read military textbooks?

"He's actually got good language/conversational abilities, despite his lack of small talk, and has demonstrated good potential for situational"

What does this mean exactly? Is he persuasive? Is he able to calm people down? Gain their trust?

So "running" was listed as a hobby and the only time it showed up in the profile was that he runs back and forth in halls. That's not really "running" as it is commonly known as a hobby and doesn't cut mustard as a hobby. A hobby is something you have an interest in and spend significant amount of time in.

When we look at the hobbies we generally look for 1 ) How did they get into it 2) What do they do to engage in it and 3 ) why do they like it or what do they get out of it. 1 and 2 are there for your hobbies, but not so much 3.

Other than that I'd like to know a little more about his personality and especially how he related to people. Wade seems to have been pretty isolated his whole life since the only interaction with kids during the home schooling period was the kiddy soccer club he was pulled out of at age 3. Most of the times parents who home school children try to get them involved with other children somehow so they can keep up socially and not feel lonely, but Wade didn't get any of that. I'd also like to know more about how all of the different decisions his parents have made affects his relationship with them.

Post when done!

Offline Profile Goto Top
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Forfeited and Abandoned Characters · Next Topic »
Locked Topic