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Mitchell Settles; First SOTF character
Topic Started: Jul 18 2015, 02:27 PM (511 Views)
Namira
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Hi Brubaker, before we give a full critique, can you make sure that your profile matches the template exactly? Specifically, you need to cut out the extra line break between the biography and advantages. I know it seems like busywork, but it really helps our formatting down the line to make sure everything's consistent.
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SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing!
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Adequate summary of my personality
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Namira
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Hey, Brubaker. Mitchell is nearly there, just in need of a couple of tweaks.


First, since I noticed them while I was going through, a couple typos:


'These pursuits consumed him as never before, and he became more and more reckless in his quest for the adrenaline rush that would erase his emotional pain.'

'summer climate of Kingman, Arizona'

' An astute guidance counselor realized Mitch would never be a classic academic'


I'd like another interest. What's there is extremely well fleshed out, but the problem is that 4-5 of the interests can all be grouped under Mitch's enthusiasm for extreme sports.

How did his mom react to him failing a year?

If his mom is a very rigid Catholic, what effect did this have on Mitch's upbringing? There's no real mention of religious influences on his life, so his mother's faith seems to come out of nowhere a bit.

Mitch's advantages make sense, but they're not counterbalanced especially well by his disadvantages. I'd like a couple more. Might I suggest, for one, residual aches/pains/soreness from past injuries he's suffered? I broke my hand a couple years ago and it still aches sometimes, and he's suffered quite a raft of injuries over the years.

Lemme know when you're all finished up and I'll take another look.
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Namira
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