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Matthew "Matt" Moradi; well here i go
Topic Started: May 1 2015, 07:11 PM (473 Views)
Privyet
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Name: Matthew "Matt" Moradi
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Video games, literature, violin, tabletop games.

Appearance: Matt is short standing at 5'6" and weighing 137 pounds with a lean, skinny build. Due to his primarily Persian ancestry, Matthew has an olive complexion and black, straight hair, which he keeps short. Matthew doesn't shave, having been able to grow a beard since he was 14. However, he does keep his beard trimmed and well groomed.

Matt has thick, bushy eyebrows. His eyes are brown, the almond shape typical for someone of Persian ancestry. His nose is sharp, narrow and angular, a stark contrast to other parts of his face. His chin is short and poorly defined, which is the main reason he doesn't shave. Matt has large ears and small, thin lips.

In terms of fashion, Matthew tries to dress in a way that makes sense, considering the weather; he usually wears a single colored t-shirt and jeans. Shoes are usually the most expensive part of the outfit, often costing well over a hundred dollars, usually Roshe Runs. During the winter Matt usually wears a coat and Timberlands, if it snows.

Biography: Matthew Abdullah Moradi was born to Ahmad Moradi and Hester Moradi (nee Tehrani) on September 8th, 1996 in the city of Kingman, Arizona. Both of Matthew's parents were doctors, both having been born and raised in Arizona. Ahmad is a Kingman native, whereas Hester is from Phoenix. Hester and Ahmad agreed to give their son a Western name, Ahmad citing that problems he had fitting in at school due to his name.

Both of Matt's parents had decently high paying jobs: his mother worked as a physician and his father worked as a dentist, respectively. Due to the high paying nature of both their jobs, Matthew's family is relatively wealthy, living in a large house in a nice neighborhood.

Matthew's mother, Hester, had been raised as a nondenominational Muslim but had stopped practicing by adulthood. Ahmad had been raised as a Shia Muslim. Although Ahmad was not a very devout Muslim, he believed that being raised religious was the key to being a moral person. Hester wanted to raise Matthew without any religion, preferring to let him choose later on in life. Ahmad was relucant to raise Matthew without any religion, but eventually gave in.

Upon entering school, Matthew was pushed to excel by his father; he was rewarded for getting good grades and scolded for anything less. Ahmad pushed Matthew to do well in school because he believed that instilling a good work ethic was important. Hester agreed with Ahmad, but believed that he could be too forceful at times. Matthew learned from his father early on in life that if you want to succeed, you have to work hard. This is where he gets his dedicated nature from. Combined with his natural intelligence, Matt didn't find it too hard to get good grades in school.

Matt learned to read at an early age, starting to read at age four, kick starting his love of reading and literature in general. Matt was reading at a 9th grade level in the 5th grade. Matt also began using computers at a fairly early age, starting when he was six. Around this same age, Matt began playing video games, though not to the extent he would later on. Early on in life, Matt read anything he could get his hands on, fiction or non-fiction. Today, he mostly reads genre fiction such as fantasy and science-fiction. He likes these genres mainly due to the escapism.

Matt did well academically and socially early on in school, finding it easy to get good grades if he tried hard enough and focused on school. Matt was agreeable and friendly as a child, finding it easy to make friends with his peers. It was around this time that Matthew's mother started pushing him to start playing violin, hoping he would have some sort of talent for it. He began to take lessons from a tutor and, despite lacking any talent for the violin at all, Matt enjoyed it. Self-conscious about his poor skill, Matt rarely plays in front of anyone. Matt prefers to play mostly classical violin music and has yet to attempt to compose any himself.

Matt started middle school around the same time that he had started going through puberty. Matt's voice started changing, his skin became greasier and was soon covered in acne. Bullying started something Matt was helpless to stop due to his lack of confidence. Due to this he rarely, if ever, spoke out against his bullies. Matt simply took it instead of telling anyone, believing that trying to deal with it by himself was the best option. His parents and teachers had noticed Matt's sudden change in personality and tried to put a stop to the bullying, which only worsened it for a while. By the end of middle school, it had mostly stopped, but Matt had changed as a person. Matt himself didn't consider what he went through bullying, mainly because it wasn't the stereotypical kind. Instead of, say, being shoved into a locker, Matt was picked on a lot for his height, appearance and ethnicity. Because of what he went through, Matt withdrew socially, having few friends and rarely speaking. Due to the bullying and social isolation, Matt developed an extremely abrasive, rude and sarcastic personality in order to avoid getting emotionally hurt. If he spoke, it was almost never anything nice.

As a result, middle school was a struggle, at least socially. Academically, Matt did poorly, at least by his standards. His grades had dropped from an A average to a B due to his lack of focus thanks to the bullying, something that frustrated him. Around this time, Matt began using the internet more and more for recreational purposes; he had mostly used it for the news before that. He began browsing websites like Tumblr and Reddit, eventually creating a Tumblr blog and a Reddit account. It was also around this time that Matt's political views began forming. He began questioning religion, especially Islam, and became interested in social justice, though he only remains involved in the online aspect of the movement. Beginning to play more video games, Matt built his own computer to play more graphics intensive ones more efficiently, sinking a thousand dollars into it. His interest in computers barely went beyond this. In terms of taste, Matt plays all genres, but he prefers Indie games due to what he perceives to be their originality and creativity.

Soon after he started attending Cochise, puberty began to end and Matt's acne began clearing up, something that had left him with a new found sense of confidence. Matt quickly began to realize that his personality wouldn't help him find any friends. He began trying to change his personality, toning down the abrasiveness and sarcasm the best he could. Though not as irritating as he once was, Matt is still much like the person he was in middle school: abrasive and sarcastic, just not to the same extent. Usually, he stays decently reserved and cautious when dealing with other people, at least until they give him a reason to start acting abrasive.

Shortly after starting high school, Matt became interested in tabletop games, mainly Dungeons & Dragons and its derivative games, like Pathfinder. The escapism aspect of tabletop gaming is what attracted Matt to it. Matt's determined nature lead to him playing more optimized characters, ones that tended to be as optimized as he could make them or as much as the GM would allow. This, combined with his abrasiveness, makes him a difficult person to play with at times; roleplaying takes the backseat to winning.

Matt does well in school, at least academically. Due to his sheer dedication to studying and his natural intelligence, Matt is almost a straight A student, finding trouble with few subjects other than French, a subject he has little enthusiasm for. Compounded with the trouble he has with conjugations and simply learning a new language, Matt's grade in French is a B, something that disappoints him greatly. Other than that, he particularly excels in history, finding it the most interesting due to the way history seems to tell a story. Matt often studies history, European history in particular, outside of school. Matt has little enthusiasm for most subjects other than history, not finding the majority of them hard, except for French.

Socially, Matt has few people that he himself would call his friends, not feeling very close to many of the people he knows. He feels this way mainly because he doesn't feel like he spends much time with them. Recently, he's been trying to change this. Matt is heterosexual and still a virgin, something that frustrates him.

Matt's relationship with his father started to become strained around the start of high school. They often come into conflict over varying topics, usually religion or politics. Matt feels as though his father is intentionally trying to start arguments with him, but it's the opposite: Matt is usually the one to bring up politics and religion. His relationship with his mother is slightly better, although distant due to the hours she works.

Matt despises sports. Never having been particularly athletic as a child, Matt's lukewarm attitude towards sports and most kinds of physical activity has shifted to an open dislike of them. Matt often asserts that he doesn't like sports and has little understanding of them beyond the basic rules. Physically weak, Matt has made few attempts to fix this or become stronger.

After graduating, Matt plans to go to college. He hasn't looked into any in particular, but he plans on getting a bachelor's degree in something like chemistry or biology before attending a dental school program.

Advantages: Matt is a decently intelligent person, having a good amount of natural intelligence. On top of that, he's very determined, never giving up on something he sets his mind to. Matt is also a generally cautious person, not rushing into things headfirst.
Disadvantages: He's physically weak and has a quite abrasive personality, which isn't considered a good trait by many people. Due to his abrasive personality, Matt may have made some enemies in the past.
Edited by Privyet, May 26 2015, 09:25 PM.
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Heya, Privyet! Before we give Matt a full critique, can you please make sure his profile exactly conforms to the template? Specifically, Advantages and Disadvantages should be written out in complete sentences, not list format. Post when you've got that tweaked, and we'll give Matt a full critique. Thanks!
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Right, thank you! Edited the post. It should be better now.
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Hi, Privyet! Matt’s a good start, but DENIED pending a few changes.

You’ve got a great foundation here, but the main matter at hand is that I need more information in places.

Name: Matthew "Matt" Moradi
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: 12th
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Video games, literature, violin, computers. Tabletop games should be on this list.

Appearance: Matthew is, as far as appearances go, typical for someone who shares his set of hobbies. This is a touch generalising and not necessarily true, I’d prefer it if we kept to specifics in the appearance section. He's short, No comma at 5'6 and weighs 137 pounds with a lean, skinny build. Due to his primarily Persian ancestry, Matthew has an olive complexion and black, straight hair, which he keeps short. Matthew doesn't shave, having been able to grow a beard since he was 14. However, he does keep his beard trimmed and well groomed.

Matthew has thick black hair, You mentioned this already last paragraph. complimenting his thick, bushy eyebrows. His eyes are brown, the shape Shade? typical for someone of Persian ancestry. His nose is sharp, narrow and angular, a stark contrast to other parts of his face. His chin is short and poorly defined, which is the main reason he doesn't shave.

Would like to know about the shape of his eyes, as well a description of his mouth and ears.

In terms of fashion, Matthew tries to dress in a way that makes sense, considering the weather. Usually a single colored t-shirt and jeans. This is a sentence fragment; I'd combine it with the previous one. Shoes are usually the most expensive part of the outfit, often costing well over a hundred dollars. So what kind of shoes does he actually wear? Also, Kingman, Arizona does actually get colder in the winter, so what does he wear at that time?

Matthew has a decent standard of hygiene. He showers and brushes his teeth every day, never using anything other than soap and shampoo. This bit isn’t necessary; we’re assuming kids have decent hygiene unless stated otherwise.

Biography: Matthew Abdullah Moradi was born to Ahmad Moradi and Hester Moradi (nee Tehrani) on September 8th, 1998 This birthday would actually put Matt in the 11th Grade rather than the 12th; you either need to dial the year back by one (in which case he’s 18) or move him down a grade. in the city of Baltimore, Maryland. Both of Matthew's parents were doctors, and had moved to Kingman for work related reasons shortly after Matthew's birth, This justification by itself is a bit weak and could really do with more elaboration, especially since his parents are in different branches of the medical field. moving a few weeks before his 1st birthday in 1999. This date needs to reflect the changes above. Hester and Ahmad agreed to give their son a Western name, Ahmad citing that problems he had fitting in at school due to his name.

Both of Matt's parents had decently high paying jobs: his mother worked as a physician and his father worked as a dentist, respectively. Due to the high paying nature of both their jobs, Matthew's family is relatively wealthy, living in a large house in a nice neighborhood.

Matthew's mother, Hester, was raised in a non-religious household, but his father, Ahmad, was raised a Shiite. Though not very serious about his religion, Ahmad only very reluctantly agreed to raise Matthew without any religion. Why was Hester so against it? Why was Ahmad so uncomfortable about not bringing Matthew up in a religious manner?

Matthew's early life was mostly uneventful, aside from the aforementioned move from Maryland to Arizona. Upon entering school, Matthew was pushed to excel by his father; he was rewarded for getting good grades and scolded for anything less. Why was Ahmad so pushy about grades? How does Hester feel about this? Matthew learned from his father early on in life that if you want to succeed, you have to work hard - very, very hard. You can just snip out this bit after the – because it’s a little informal. This is where he gets his dedicated nature from. Combined with his natural intelligence, Matt didn't find it too hard to get good grades in school.

Matt learned to read at an early age, starting to read at age four, kick starting his love of reading and literature in general. Matt was reading at a 9th grade level in the 5th grade. Matt also began using computers at a fairly early age, starting when he was six. Around this same age, Matt began playing video games, though not to the extent he would later on. What sort of books does Matthew like? Fiction? Non-fiction? Any preferred genres or authors? What about them does he like?

Matt did well academically and socially early on in school, finding it easy to get good grades if he tried hard enough and focused on school. Additionally, he found it easy to make friends, getting along with most of his peers. I don’t really know anything about Matt’s personality at this point other than he’s hard working; what do his friends like about him? It was around this time that Matthew's mother started pushing him to start playing violin, taking lessons from a tutor. Why’d she start pushing him? Despite lacking any talent for the violin at all, Matt enjoyed it. Self-conscious about his poor skill, Matt rarely plays in front of anyone.

Matt started middle school around the same time that he had started going through puberty. Matt's voice started changing, his skin became greasier and was soon covered in acne. Bullying started, something Matt was helpless to stop due to his lack of physical strength. Matt simply took it instead of telling anyone. Why? Matt also found it harder to talk to people, losing most of his friends. Because of this, Matt withdrew socially, having few friends and rarely speaking. Due to the bullying and social isolation, Matt developed an extremely abrasive, rude and sarcastic personality in order to avoid getting emotionally hurt. If he spoke, it was almost never anything nice. Because of this, Matt slowly lost the few friends he had left.

Matt’s going through a pretty extreme personality change here, since he appears to have been happy and well-adjusted before the bullying. Did his parents, friends or teachers not notice or try to do anything to help him?

In short, I'd replace this with ‘As a result’ or similar, since I already know middle school was a struggle. middle school was a struggle, at least socially. Academically, Matt did poorly, at least by his standards. His grades had dropped from an A average to a B, something that frustrated him. Why did they drop? Around this time, Matt began using the internet more for recreational purposes. What was he using it for before? He began browsing websites like Tumblr and Reddit, eventually creating a Tumblr blog and a Reddit account. It was also around this time that Matt's political views began forming. He began questioning religion, especially Islam, and became interested in social justice. Why? Did he do anything with this interest? Beginning to play more video games, Matt built his own computer to play them more efficiently. What sort of video games does he like? Why? Also, why build his own computer instead of buying one? Did he find it a mechanical challenge? Does he still do similar things involving computers? Right now this is the only mention of this interest, so I either need elaboration or it to be taken out of the list.

Soon after he started attending Cochise, puberty began to end and Matt's acne began clearing up, something that had left him with a new found sense of confidence. Matt quickly began to realize that his personality wouldn't help him find any friends. He began trying to change his personality, toning down the abrasiveness and sarcasm the best he could. Though not as irritating as he once was, Matt is still much like the person he was in middle school: abrasive and sarcastic, just not to the same extent.

Shortly after starting High School, Doesn't need to be capitalised. Matt became interested in tabletop games, mainly Dungeons & Dragons and its derivative games, like Pathfinder. What sparked the interest? Matt's determined nature lead to him playing some interesting characters, I don’t think him being determined would automatically make his characters interesting, especially if he’s putting a precedent on stats over personality. usually ones that tended to be as optimized as he could make them or as much as the GM would allow. This, combined with his abrasiveness, makes him a difficult person to play with at times; roleplaying takes the backseat to winning.

Matt does well in High School, Doesn't need to be capitalised here either. at least academically. Due to his sheer dedication to studying and his natural intelligence, Matt is almost a straight A student, finding trouble with few subjects other than French. Matt's grade in French is a B, something that disappoints him greatly. Why does he struggle in French? Other than that, he particularly excels in History, finding it the most interesting. Why? Matt often studies history, European history in particular, outside of school. Socially, Matt has few people that he himself would call his friends. Any reason he doesn't want to call them friends? Matt is somewhat socially awkward. You don’t need this sentence either, I already know he’s socially awkward. Matt is heterosexual and still a virgin. How’s he feel about that? Any attempts at romance yet?

On the topic of school, what subjects doesn’t Matthew like? I know he’s bad at French but you haven’t said if he actually likes it or not, and I’d still like to know if he likes any other subjects apart from history.

Matt's relationship with his father is strained. When’d their relationship become strained? They often come into conflict over varying topics, usually religion or politics. Matt feels as though his father is intentionally trying to start arguments with him, but it's the opposite. I don’t follow what the opposite would be in this situation, so it could use some rewording to be clearer. His relationship with his mother is better, although distant. She pushed him to start playing the violin, one of his hobbies. I already know this too. They occasionally argue about politics. Not really sufficient info about his relationship with his mother apart from distant. Why are they distant to begin with? How does Matthew feel about that? Is he making any efforts to become closer? Is she? Similarly, how does he feel about all his arguing with his dad? Finally, politics seems to be a pretty contested topic in this household, but there's no mention of Matthew being interested in it before hand, unless you're referring to social justice.

You’ve also made a point about his lack of physical strength a few times in the profile, but I don’t know how he feels about that. Is he bothered by his lack of strength and stamina? Has he ever tried to do anything about it? If not, why not?

Also, what does Matt intend to do after graduation? Does he have any plans yet? His parents seem pretty involved in his academic career, so what do they think of it?


Advantages: Matt is a decently intelligent person, having a good amount of natural intelligence. On top of that, he's very determined, never giving up on something he sets his mind to. He's also a hard worker, so to say - he never gives anything less than 100%. The second and third advantage are basically the same: Matt’s a determined person. I’d prefer you think of a different one to round him out.
Disadvantages: Matt isn't even remotely athletic, which is definitely an issue. He's also physically weak Not being athletic and physically weak are also basically the same, so you can crop out this second mention. and has a quite abrasive personality, which isn't considered a good trait by many people. I’d like to see another disadvantage too, since we only have two here and neither are hugely disabling disadvantages. They're not bad, I'd just like to see another one to go with them.


Post here when you’ve made the changes I’ve asked for and I’ll give Matt another look. Thanks!
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Seventy-six years in the making! (Seriously though, my apologies that this took so long!) Edited.
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Thanks for making the changes! Matt’s been improved quite nicely, but some parts still need work.

Name: Matthew "Matt" Moradi
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: 12th
School: Cochise High School
Hobbies and Interests: Video games, literature, violin, computers. Tabletop games still needs to be added here.

Appearance: Matt is short standing at 5'6” and weighing 137 pounds with a lean, skinny build. Due to his primarily Persian ancestry, Matthew has an olive complexion and black, straight hair, which he keeps short. Matthew doesn't shave, having been able to grow a beard since he was 14. However, he does keep his beard trimmed and well groomed. Paragraph break here
Matt has thick, bushy eyebrows. His eyes are brown, the shape typical for someone of Persian ancestry. ’Shape typical of someone of Persian ancestry’ isn’t specific enough for me, it’d be great if you could just detail it explicitly. His nose is sharp, narrow and angular, a stark contrast to other parts of his face. His chin is short and poorly defined, which is the main reason he doesn't shave.

I'd still like to know about his mouth and ears so I have a complete facial profile.

In terms of fashion, Matthew tries to dress in a way that makes sense, considering the weather; he usually wears a single colored t-shirt and jeans. Shoes are usually the most expensive part of the outfit, often costing well over a hundred dollars, usually Roshe Runs. During the winter Matt usually wears a coat and Timberlands, if it snows.

Biography: This needs to be bolded, which you’ve not done in your update. Matthew Abdullah Moradi was born to Ahmad Moradi and Hester Moradi (nee Tehrani) on September 8th, 1997 I actually made a mistake with the date last time: Matt either needs to be born in 1996 to be 18 in the 12th grade, or be in the 11th grade to be 17 with this current birth year (since pregame takes place over the first few months of 2015). Just pick one of those two and change it accordingly for me. in the city of Kingman, Arizona. Both of Matthew's parents were doctors, both having been born and raised in Arizona. Ahmad is a Kingman native, whereas Hester is from Phoenix. Hester and Ahmad agreed to give their son a Western name, Ahmad citing that problems he had fitting in at school due to his name.

Both of Matt's parents had decently high paying jobs: his mother worked as a physician and his father worked as a dentist, respectively. Due to the high paying nature of both their jobs, Matthew's family is relatively wealthy, living in a large house in a nice neighborhood.

Matthew's mother, Hester, had been raised raised as a nondenominational Muslim but had stopped practicing by adulthood. Ahmad had been raised as a Shia Muslim. Although Ahmad was not a very devout Muslim, he believed that being raised religious was the key to being a moral person. Hester wanted to raise Matthew without any religion, preferring to let him choose later on in life. Ahmad was relucant to raise Matthew without any religion, but eventually gave in.

Matthew's early life was mostly uneventful, aside from the aforementioned move from Maryland to Arizona. Matthew didn’t move anymore, now that he's born in Kingman. Upon entering school, Matthew was pushed to excel by his father; he was rewarded for getting good grades and scolded for anything less. Ahmad pushed Matthew to do well in school because he believed that instilling a good work ethic was important. Hester agreed with Ahmad, but believed that he could be too forceful at times. Matthew learned from his father early on in life that if you want to succeed, you have to work hard. This is where he gets his dedicated nature from. Combined with his natural intelligence, Matt didn't find it too hard to get good grades in school.

Matt learned to read at an early age, starting to read at age four, kick starting his love of reading and literature in general. Matt was reading at a 9th grade level in the 5th grade. Matt also began using computers at a fairly early age, starting when he was six. Around this same age, Matt began playing video games, though not to the extent he would later on. Early on in life, Matt read anything he could get his hands on, fiction or non-fiction. Today, he mostly reads genre fiction such as fantasy and science-fiction. Why these genres?

Matt did well academically and socially early on in school, finding it easy to get good grades if he tried hard enough and focused on school. Matt was agreeable and friendly as a child, finding it easy to make friends with his peers. It was around this time that Matthew's mother started pushing him to start playing violin, hoping he would have some sort of talent for it. He began to take lessons from a tutor and, despite lacking any talent for the violin at all, Matt enjoyed it. Self-conscious about his poor skill, Matt rarely plays in front of anyone. What kind of music does he like to play on the violin? Does he compose any himself?

Matt started middle school around the same time that he had started going through puberty. Matt's voice started changing, his skin became greasier and was soon covered in acne. Bullying started something Matt was helpless to stop due to his lack of physical strength. Matt simply took it instead of telling anyone, believing that trying to deal with it by himself was the best option. Matt didn't tell his parents and teachers, though they did notice the quite sudden change in personality. Matt himself didn't consider it bullying, mainly because it wasn't the stereotypical kind. Instead of, say, being shoved into a locker, Matt was picked on almost constantly for his height, appearance and ethnicity. Matt also found it harder to talk to people, losing most of his friends. Because of this, Matt withdrew socially, having few friends and rarely speaking. Due to the bullying and social isolation, Matt developed an extremely abrasive, rude and sarcastic personality in order to avoid getting emotionally hurt. If he spoke, it was almost never anything nice. Because of this, Matt slowly lost the few friends he had left.

This paragraph is a bit of a mess and could do with a rewrite. You’ve stated how he doesn’t tell people a few times, and you’ve mentioned how he lost his friends a few times too. Also, we don’t need italics in the profiles, and I need justification for why his parents or teachers didn’t actually do anything when they noticed his personality changing or try to find out what was going on. For that matter, if he’s being verbally harassed all the time, particularly if race is involved, then wouldn’t a teacher or two have noticed it? Anti-bullying programs were all the rage in the states around that time after all, and considering how withdrawn Matt’s becoming I feel like someone should really be noticing things here.

As a result, middle school was a struggle, at least socially. Academically, Matt did poorly, at least by his standards. His grades had dropped from an A average to a B due to his lack of focus thanks to the bullying, something that frustrated him. Around this time, Matt began using the internet more and more for recreational purposes; before, he had mostly used it for Your sentence cuts off without finishing here. He began browsing websites like Tumblr and Reddit, eventually creating a Tumblr blog and a Reddit account. It was also around this time that Matt's political views began forming. He began questioning religion, especially Islam, and became interested in social justice, though he only remains involved in the online aspect of the movement. Beginning to play more video games, Matt built his own computer to play more graphics intensive ones more efficiently, sinking a thousand dollars into it. I’d still like to know why Matt built his own rather than just buying one off the market, particularly since this is still the only mention of Matt’s interest in computers that goes beyond him just using them. In terms of taste, Matt plays all genres, but he prefers Indie games due to what he perceives to be their originality and creativity.

Soon after he started attending Cochise, puberty began to end and Matt's acne began clearing up, something that had left him with a new found sense of confidence. Matt quickly began to realize that his personality wouldn't help him find any friends. He began trying to change his personality, toning down the abrasiveness and sarcasm the best he could. Though not as irritating as he once was, Matt is still much like the person he was in middle school: abrasive and sarcastic, just not to the same extent. Usually, he stays decently reserved and cautious when dealing with other people, at least until they give him a reason to start acting abrasive.

Shortly after starting high school, Matt became interested in tabletop games, mainly Dungeons & Dragons and its derivative games, like Pathfinder. The escapism aspect of tabletop gaming is what attracted Matt to it. Matt's determined nature lead to him playing some “interesting” characters, Don’t need quotation marks here. I’d just remove mention of ‘interesting characters’; just say he built his characters to be optimized. usually ones that tended to be as optimized as he could make them or as much as the GM would allow. This, combined with his abrasiveness, makes him a difficult person to play with at times; roleplaying takes the backseat to winning.

Matt does well in high school, at least academically. Due to his sheer dedication to studying and his natural intelligence, Matt is almost a straight A student, finding trouble with few subjects other than French, a subject he has little enthusiasm for. Compounded with the trouble he has with conjugations and simply learning a new language, Matt's grade in French is a B, something that disappoints him greatly. Other than that, he particularly excels in History, Subjects that aren’t languages don’t need to be capitalised (which I should’ve picked up on last time) finding it the most interesting due to the way history seems to tell a ‘story’. You can remove the quote marks from here too, they’re not needed. Matt often studies history, European history in particular, outside of school. Matt has little enthusiasm for most subjects other than History, Doesn't need to be capitalised here either not finding the majority of them hard, except for French.

Socially, Matt has few people that he himself would call his friends, not feeling very close to many of the people he knows. Why doesn’t he feel close to them? Is he trying to do anything about it? Matt is heterosexual and still a virgin, something that frustrates him.

Matt's relationship with his father started to become strained around the start of high school. They often come into conflict over varying topics, usually religion or politics. Matt feels as though his father is intentionally trying to start arguments with him, but it's the opposite: Matt is usually the one to bring up politics and religion. His relationship with his mother is slightly better, although distant due to the hours she works.

I would still like to know about Matt’s relationship with exercise, since you’re using his physical weakness as a disadvantage. Does he not like sports? Why not?

After graduating, Matt plans to go to college. He hasn't looked into any in particular, but he plans on getting a bachelor's degree in something like chemistry or biology before attending a dental school program.

Advantages: Matt is a decently intelligent person, having a good amount of natural intelligence. On top of that, he's very determined, never giving up on something he sets his mind to. Matt is also a generally cautious person, not rushing into things headfirst.
Disadvantages: He's physically weak and has a quite abrasive personality, which isn't considered a good trait by many people. Due to his abrasive personality, Matt may have made some enemies in the past.
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Mr. Danya
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Nearly! Just a few small things to fix up:

Quote:
 
Biography: Matthew Abdullah Moradi was born to Ahmad Moradi and Hester Moradi


Biography still needs to be bolded.

Quote:
 
Matt's voice started changing, his skin became greasier and was soon covered in acne.


A comma would work better there than a semicolon, which is what's in the profile now.

Quote:
 
Bullying started, something Matt was helpless to stop due to his lack of physical strength.


Add that comma to help break up the sentence. Also, why would a lack of physical strength matter? You've said later in the paragraph that the bulling was verbal rather than physical, so unless he wants to beat them up in response I'm not sure his strength should be the issue here. Perhaps he just lacks the confidence to speak up against them?

Quote:
 
before, he had mostly used it for the news before that.


The first before is redundant, you can just remove it.

Quote:
 
way history seems to tell a story.Matt often studies history,


Missing a space after the full stop.


Just fix those up for me and Matt should be good to go!
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Mr. Danya
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V7 Freunde
Hey look I have a relationship thread

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