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TurtleTyrant's Death Critiques; All in five sentences or less. Bring it on.
Topic Started: Nov 16 2014, 09:51 PM (1,388 Views)
VoltTurtle
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The girl who dreams on the back of a giant space turtle.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hey all.

So with all the major work I've had to do for school (mostly) finished and the fact that I've been out of V5, I've had too much time on my hands and not enough stuff to do with that time.

I thought about making a critique thread ala NAFT's or MW's small critiques, but I didn't want to painstakingly read all of 50 characters (and you guys know I'd have to if I was serious about this, you're vultures, all of you). So, I'm doing something a bit... different.

I've read every death in V5. All of them. It's a habit I picked up about halfway through and I've since gone through and read every single death in V5 that I either missed originally or as they came. I am more than happy to read them again and regurgitate my opinions on the death to you guys if you ask (or if I remember them well enough, regurgitate my opinion on the spot).

Rules: Since I've only read V5 deaths and not mini deaths, I'm limiting this to V5 characters only. Additionally, all of these critiques come in five sentences or less, more in order to keep me from rambling on and on about every little detail and make sure that I actually do these things (*cough*) than to be lazy.

Otherwise, no other rules. Want to sign up all of your V5 characters at once? Go right ahead. Want to sign up even though it's forty characters in? Go right ahead. Want to berate my intelligence? Go right ahead. Want to confess your undying love to me? Go right ahead, but I think PMs would be a more appropriate place for that.

Queue For My Sanity
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Un-Persona
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Mains Shaggy Verde
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ME FIRST BITCHES.

Marcus Leung, ty tayteh~
V7 relationship thread! Say hi to my kids!
Super Spoiler God Super Spoiler
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MrMissMrs Random
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Shut up I'm in the robot
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Weeeeeeee I can't stay away, and thank you, TT. :)

Rosemary Michaels
Version 6
Adelaide Walker-N/A
V6 Pregame: 1-2
Image Song: TV on the Radio- Wolf Like Me

Frederick "Rick" Brea- N/A
V6 Pregame: 1-2
Image Song: SOHN- Artifice

Version 5
(G006) Rosemary Michaels- Butterfly Knife: "H-h-heh..."- DECEASED
V5 Game:
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-6 (Return)-9-10-11-12-FINAL



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Aura
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Has seen that which cannot be unseen.
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Adonis Alba, if you please.
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Characters

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dmboogie
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A Delicate Machine
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Would you kindly critique Michael Mitchellson's end?
a tribute for the dead and dying

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Riki
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Winner
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Aileen Abdallah, por favor
Fiyori Senay
 


Version 7
Version 6
Version 5


ChatShit

My Credentials
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Yugikun
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maybe if you're lucky the random avatar will sync up to the character you're reading right now
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
TurtleTyrant
Nov 16 2014, 09:51 PM
Want to confess your undying love to me? Go right ahead,
Hey, whatever you say
In a V7 near you!
Coming to a V7 near you!
The Past


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Emprexx Plush
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
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Garrett Wilde, if you please!
SotF Characters

the highest honor i'll ever achieve


Plush Wants To Read Your Dead Things and your Living Things! As of 8/14/2017, the Living Queue is Closed, and the Dead Queue is Open!
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Flare
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*insert dance song here*
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Jack McDonald?
V5 Characters:

Jack McDonald is a SELF-INSERT YAY.
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SansaSaver
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Player
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TT I LOVE YOU DON’T EVER FORGET THAT K <3

Mirabella’s death, pleaseeeeeee c:
Version Seven:
Tristan O’Hara
Dorothea Rodriguez
Ariana Simpson


Past Characters:
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NotAFlyingToy
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the bass and the tweeters make the speakers go to war
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Looking forward to reading these.
A list of the dying, a list of the damned.

V6
V5
Future
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VysePresident
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Long-winded, meticulous, & thoughtful. Mostly long-winded though.
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Chase Rodriguez please, if you'd be so kind. :)
Constructive criticism is always welcome! Feel free to send me a PM if you have any pointers or feedback you'd like to share!

Character #1: Boy #37 Ian Williams - Now with 55% less self-insert.
Designated Weapon: Polaroid Instant Camera With Film (Enough for 8 photographs)

Past - | 1 | 2 | (Current thread - Birds of a Feather)
Pregame - None
Island - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | (Final Thread - Glass
)
Character #2: Boy #66 Chase Rodriguez - Adopted from Pippin.
Designated Weapon: Silver Pill Box Containing Three Cyanide Capsules

Past - None
Pregame - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | (Last seen in - Diversions)
Island - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | (Final Thread - Drawing to an End)



(Relationships Planning Thread #Pi)
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Maraoone
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yes thomas why
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Juhan Levandi aaand Oscar Trig
V6 Characters:
G062 - Olivia Fischer prayed a thousand prayers in Ye Not [37/107]
Previous Threads: Sæglópur - Until all our yesterdays are lighted fools... - the way to dusty death - a concrete cave - I'd Say That I've Had Worse Days, but Then I'd Be Lying - Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying - Until Then, You Are Free - Cast in the Name of God
Memories: Sometimes when we reach for the stars...
Weapon: Lobotomy pick.

V5 Characters

Chat

Pledges

"Mara was a mistake." - Cicada, 2017
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Deamon
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Humans...
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Lets do this with Gray Emerson! Or whatever.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
V6
V5
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VoltTurtle
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The girl who dreams on the back of a giant space turtle.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Had a two hour delay because of snow. Let's get two knocked out just to give you guys some examples.

Marcus Leung

Marcus's death was... interesting... when I first read it. I didn't really know what to think originally, but reading it over again now though I have a few thoughts on it. In hindsight the death scene itself was set up surprisingly well, especially given that it was a spur of the moment thing. While I personally would have liked /something/ coming from the actual death post, the death itself having no text makes sense given the short, detached posts that came before it from both Unpy and Snarft and ties the scene together well. Additionally, there's something elegant in just having Marcus die like that without so much as a whimper or a thought, and not making any spectacle whatsoever out of the death is something unique that I do appreciate.

Rosemary Michaels

Ahhh, MrMissMrs Random, you spoil me. I made it clear in V5's endgame plastic hammers that I adore Retrograde, and I mean it. Retrograde is paced extremely well, having good buildup to that critical moment where Katarina solidifies her resolve and strangles Rosemary, creating a great sense suspense even though the conclusion (at the time because of rolls) was forgone. As for Rosemary's death itself... Random really captures a kind of sad struggle as Rosemary tries to fight against Katarina and cling to life oh so desperately, focusing on that instinctual desire to live and the fight for it rather than any great philosophical ranting or sad reflection on life. All in all I found Retrograde and Rosemary's death to be a fitting end to the story of the poor girl and it's one of my favorite deaths in V5.

Man sometimes five sentences isn't enough (I really wanted to talk more about these two) but that's my rule and otherwise I would go on for days. Oh well. More later.
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