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V3 Read-A-Thon; I want to go back to V2 - Ruggahissy
Topic Started: Feb 3 2014, 01:15 AM (21,151 Views)
Badb
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Trained for combat by a cabal of hacktivists.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
ROLL ME UP, MOTHERFUCKER. CAN'T BE WORSE THAN MELINA.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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21:24 Wes ...goddammit V3.

proposing this as thread subtitle
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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EDUARDO WAS A THING THAT HAPPENED.

Feed me more.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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Kathy Holden was fun. She was super short and her posts weren't very weighty but she showed a lot of character and was fun to follow despite her threads being utter clusterfucks. Then her death thread happened and it made no sense.

FEED ME MORE.
Posted Image
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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Trained for combat by a cabal of hacktivists.
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I regret everything.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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Trained for combat by a cabal of hacktivists.
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Tonight I get drunk and read Paul Smith.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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There is a long-ass liveblog of my read-through of Paul Smith on the way. Let me just summarise it with:

18:44Kalopsiathis is a fucking 12 year old's idea of cool

Roll me another, motherfuckers.
Edited by Badb, Mar 13 2014, 04:02 PM.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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paul smith readthrough part 1: hey baby think you give me a handjob before I fucking kill you?

paul smith readthrough part 2: "I find it extremely amusing that you guys are more concerned with me fucking you than with me killing you"

paul smith readthrough part 3: "from the age of fifteen to seventeen he had gone beyond any heterosexual mans capabilities."

paul smith readthrough part 4: "Fuckin’ A, I’m craving a smoke and now I’m horny as fuck!"

paul smith readthrough part 5: I want to get off Mr. Bukowski's Wild Ride
Edited by Badb, Mar 13 2014, 04:04 PM.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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Trained for combat by a cabal of hacktivists.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Posted Image
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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Blitzed Maxie.

In the interest of time and sanity, I won't be going through the Escape Plot or the V3 Epilogue. While I understand that this cuts her story short, I feel as though "Desperation" is a natural stopping point as that was ostensibly the last thread Maxie was in for a long while, and it's also incredibly problematic and worthy of discussion.

Additionally, I purposefully avoided reading through her profile again before starting this critique as I thought it would serve to highlight the recurring themes and motifs in her story, which I wanted to discover through the prose of the character alone.

I will likely write a more thorough critique of Maxie in the future because I feel like she is an incredibly interesting character, but the following is my stream of conscious thoughts while reading her through.


Part One: "Alive Out of Habit" -> "at Dawn"

Part Two: "at Dawn" -> Thread of the Manatee"

Part Three: "Desperation" content and trigger warnings: sexual violence, rape.


I'm fucking done.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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Badb
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Un-Persona
Jul 14 2014, 08:35 PM
But anyway, Rachel: Christian Rydell
That's a fucking whammy.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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I read Rydell while ages ago and forgot to post about it. He's alright. Very Oliver.

Roll me another.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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Ryan Atwell is a Dodd character.

I was thinking about ending the critique there.

Ryan Atwell is, down to his very core, a Dodd character, and conforms rigidly to all the smart remarks, song-posts and overwrought, pop culture-ridden dialogue that term implies. For bonus points, he makes his debut as a peripheral character to Dodd. He enters the game to make Dodd look good.

Then he isn't posted with for three months. Dodd (the character) receives two posts in this time-frame. Neither mentions Ryan.

When Ryan finally emerges in December 2008 (His first post was Sep 1, 2008) he again exists as a periphery character to Dodd-the-character. It is at this point that I have to add "Dodd" to my word processor's dictionary because 90% of the document is going to have a squiggly red underline below it. To say that early Ryan Atwell is tethered to Dodd would be an understatement. It becomes increasingly apparent to an observer that he has no identity beyond Adam Dodd, to the extent that Dodd (the writer) frequently forgets that Ryan is in the scene.

When he is mentioned, he exists to bounce off Dodd-- to provide set up for Dodd's "badass" moments. For example:

Quote:
 
Ryan shook his head, and smirked. "Not really, no. I'm just taking a few minutes to evaluate."

Raising an eyebrow, Adam shot Ryan a questioning look.

"Evaluate? How's 'we're all fucked' for an evaluation?"


Ryan does get a couple of nice monologues explaining his motives in his second post, but they're sadly overshadowed by the fact that our focal character is Dodd-- who neither understands Ryan's point or cares to. It comes across as very "tell, don't show", as well. (Reminder, at this point we are two posts in and Ryan has not yet been a viewpoint character in his own narrative.) We're clearly supposed to empathize and identify with Dodd, who so thoroughly rebukes Ryan's points that the whole affair comes off as vaguely masturbatory. C'est la v3.

Also, this happens:

Spoiler: click to toggle

fig. 1: a monologue about fucking Doom II, of all things.

(I have no idea what this monologue is supposed to represent.)

Also this is a song-post. Also, there are no line-breaks and seven viewpoint characters. None of these characters have their previous threads linked. Everything is awful. Everyone leaves for a vague reason (the escape plot), and Ryan leaves the group because Dodd wanted to keep one of his characters out of the escape plot. A "I have a friend to find" plot is conjured for him out of nowhere and everyone acts like this isn't weird.

On Jan 9, 2009, Ryan received his first post as a view-point character. This was in his third thread. In it, we learn that Ryan is lucky. Really, really lucky. Ryan is incredibly lucky, you guys.--

Apparently he was with Dean Portman in the early game, before he showed up in the Dodd post.

I need to check this.

Dean Portman was never even posted with until the escape plot.

For fuck's sake.

Ryan's story depends heavily on information that a reader would not have been privy to whilst the game was unfolding. Without knowledge of the escape plot, his exit from Dodd's group seems forced. Without knowledge that Portman was in the escape plot, his quest to find him feels forced. Thankfully, after this, Ryan bumps into Emma Babineaux and Shameeca Mitchell.

Have I mentioned I love these characters?

Anyway, Ryan constantly reiterates how lucky he is despite absolutely nothing happening to him to prove how lucky he is, and he has some interactions with Shameeca and Emma that would have developed into a nice scene... except they all leave. Ryan exits the thread in a one-sentence post two weeks after everyone else.

Then he meets up with Lulu and Steve, who he spends the rest of his game with. Their dynamic is... fine? They neither clash or particularly gel. They just kind of float around each other. Then Eris shows up and-- OH SHIT I'M READING WILD INTERNATIONAL. I LOVE THIS THREAD. This was the first SotF thread I read and I actually love it. It owns.

Ryan's posts are some more tell, don't show character building and provoking Eris into a fight. More people file in. Dante Cooper is inactive killed. Eris shoots Ryan and Dacey Ashcroft because every SotF conflict must immediately escalate to violence and then Ryan leaves. Eris' death post still rules. Fuck tha haters.

Anyway, the next thread is over pretty quickly. Reeves shoots the building Steve/Ryan are in with a grenade and Steve dies. Almost four months later, Ryan dies in a needlessly long song-post. In it, Ryan writes a letter to the winner. This is probably the most interesting thing Ryan did as a character, and it's a really neat concept. I'd love to see it executed by a character I care more about in the future. Personally, I'd prefer to have the contents of the letter unmentioned until the winner picks it up, but that requires a lot of co-operation.

TO CONCLUDE:

I really can't recommend Ryan Atwell to anyone, except as a cautionary tale on the dangers of inactivity and RPing two characters at the same time.

He's a character who, with enough attention, could have been an interesting read. Unfortunately, due to Dodd-the-writer's inactivity and Dodd-the-character's thorough destruction of his world-view in the early game, Atwell ends up stillborn. When he finally became a character and not a prop in his late-game, it was too late for me to care about him and the drama in his later threads felt incredibly artificial. It would be fair to suggest, with the letter in his death post acting as a chekov's gun for epilogue, that Ryan was a far more interesting character dead than he had ever been alive.

tl;dr: Ryan Atwell is the reason we have inactivity rules.

Roll me more, Persy.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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Trained for combat by a cabal of hacktivists.
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Un-Persona
Nov 22 2014, 07:38 PM
Whoops, sorry about that blast.

Bowser: Nathanial Harris
TRADING. I WANNA TRADE SO HARD.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Badb
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Finished Brad. He's pretty good and I have nothing funny to say about him.

Roll me another.
V5:
B035 - Ray Gilbert - DECEASED - Guy Fawkes Mask - Too Far Gone
G029 - Zoe Leverett - DECEASED - Machete - To Really Be Alone, To Pick At All the Bones
[/spoiler]
Quote:
 
[18:10] <Laurels> WWJD? Fuck corpses, apparently

Quote:
 
[15:16] <Naft> My college once nearly burned down because someone tried to make a bong out of dollar bills and the fire alarm didn't work
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