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V3 Read-A-Thon; I want to go back to V2 - Ruggahissy
Topic Started: Feb 3 2014, 01:15 AM (21,109 Views)
The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Well shit. Guess I'm game.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Oh dear.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
So. Afra. Not a whole lot to say about you, is there, but they pay me to write reviews so how hard can it be.

One thing I like about the profile is that she got Mariavel's head - I put that on the list myself, and it was a shame nothing interesting was done with the concept. Unfortunately, as with so many early version characters, her whole profile screams "premade player" and seems constructed to give her an excuse to start killing people the second she wakes up; she's the typical creepy loner who hates literally everyone for no reason whatsoever aside from some kind of interest in the occult? That makes no sense, and less so since she can implicitly see the future (her divinations are "always correct"). Overall, there's nothing here that should ever have been considered acceptable, even by v3's lower standards; if I submitted a profile like this today I would be laughed off the site.

My misgivings from the profile are vindicated by actually seeing her in action - her first post starts with her crushing the skull of a dead classmate for no apparent reason, and failing to react in any relatable manner. The post goes on and on pointlessly, and is poorly done not just in content but technical writing - the tenses are constantly switched without rhyme or reason, there are typos scattered about and every post of Afra's seems to be the handler going "Look everyone, I read a Wikipedia article on occult stuff, and I looked at a thesaurus once!"

Not once did Afra ring to me like an actual human being, or someone I would have met in high school. She was an empty shell that moved around for the purposes of getting a kill count, and didn't even manage that - after one post in her first thread, she immediately left for her second, where she was beaten to death by Braunca. I'm left with the impression that I'm glad characters like this can no longer waste our time in play.

Next!
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
(I'm deducting points for his wiki page not linking to the post he joins threads in.)

Hoo boy, Boxer. And not an actual boxer, either, you want Bobby Jacks for that; no, he's a bad Animal Farm joke. He's also kinda racist; sure, he's not as outlandishly so as Troy McCann, but come on. A Honduran-American immigrant from the ghetto of the (fictional) city, who exists just to be the dumb muscle who terrorises Laz's pet Damien clone flagship? There's a lot of iffy stuff just in his profile, and it's not helped by the fact "he's really big and really stupid" gets brought up in every single post of his, as if Laz can't find any other aspects of his character to make him worthwhile. This continues for most of v3 pregame, with the notable exception of a rather improbable fight scene with Blood Boy that you kind of have to see for yourself.

In the game, not much changes, but now he suddenly has this really weird homoerotic undercurrent come out of nowhere with Eduardo, who he has spent all pregame terrorising and existing for the sole purpose of terrorising. This continues until Darnell runs Ed through and follows up by kicking the crap out of Boxer - a scene that in retrospect I feel was kind of poorly done. The whole setup of most of the deaths in that thread is contrived and melodramatic, and a lot is definitely overwritten in those posts. So Boxer becomes obsessed with avenging Eduardo for the next couple threads, referring to him as his best friend - nothing supports this in his pregame, I should add, and it seems to've just kinda been retroactively tossed in for drama's sake. He actually meets Darnell again in like, the immediate next thread, but nothing comes of it. After this, though, he just sorta wanders around aimlessly with Leo for a while until Shameeca comes out of nowhere and stabs him dead with a joke weapon.

"Joke" actually sums things up pretty well, because throughout pregame that's what Boxer seemed to be - a "dumb jock" joke and an Animal Farm reference. There's no arc or character development here, no driving force, no story, and despite how prolific Boxer was he never becomes much more than this force sorta drifting around doing things. It's more of a character than Afra, but not by much.

Next.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Wasn't Serenity the one who got shot in the stomach and spent the rest of her threads basically in a coma?
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
So, veni vidi Vicky. That's a pun.

There wasn't a whole lot to say about Vicky herself, she kind of blends in and once Meg disappeared she basically turned into a prop for Gabe's story, but what did make her stand out was pretty simple - like most of Meg's v3ers, she was among the few in that version who felt like a real high schooler. Though her posts tended towards the wordy, Viki's thoughts, feelings and reactions to what was happening around her were always relatable and interesting if just due to the contrast between her and the island full of pre-mades, psychos, kung fu masters and Adam Dodd. While she didn't do much, she was always refreshingly real, and it's a shame that as I said before, once Meg disappeared she kind of turned into a prop. If you don't mind that she didn't really do a whole lot to drive v3's plot onwards, she's a pretty decent read.

Next.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Fuck Lex Machina. She was a hollow "bullied girl goes on a rampage" cliché with added pretence and an unjustifiably huge following mostly built up by cliquishness and OOC politicking, had no real arc or substance of her own other than wandering around shooting things and building up a huge arsenal for Trish, and was subject to blatant handler cannibalism in favour of Crash's flagship. That whole debacle is in a lot of ways emblematic of the politics and drama that turned the community towards the end of v3 into such a poisonous place, and all I have to say is I'm glad Crash (bar disconcerting things I've heard in chat) has bounced back from how he was then, as have we all.

*drops mic*

Next.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Francis Temple is in literally one post, and it's an inactive death. Roll another one, and when this is done maybe I'll do a post-mortem on why so many people went out this way in V3.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Despite the less than promising impression given by her profile, Dawn manages to be okay or at least readable - sadly, she isn't much more than that, and is soon just another tally for the Riz bandwagon, but at least her only post wasn't an inactive death like the last guy I got. I'll put up more of a review later. Roll another.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
So Eicca is one of the few Finnish kids we've had in SOTF, that's pretty cool. Sadly... that's pretty much all there is to say about him; Xaldien was never much of a writer, and Eicca wasn't a character he cared to do much with, so his story and character - what little there is of that - never really go anywhere. He wakes up at the quarry, drinks booze with Eris Marquis, then leaves and in the immediate next thread he apparently went inactive, because the ever kill-hungry Oliver takes him over and has him get shot to death by Will Sigurwhatever without even a proper death post, and in a confrontation that didn't make much sense at that. That is very bad form by Oliver but also means there's not a whole lot to review with Eicca. He just never managed to be particularly interesting.

Next.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Quote:
 
It was real...or was it?


You tell me, Mr. Dramatic! You're the one who'd just spent three days on Murder Island when you said that.

I actually like Jeff Marontate a little because of this line, making fun of Mitsuko's shitty writing and more specifically her referring to Melina's group as the "Poison Angles" ("Angels" it should be) in dialogue:

Quote:
 
"Poison Angles, huh? Oh, I'll give you a whole new set of angles in a minute, my darling."


Unfortunately that's the high point of a low-effort character who was in literally six posts before getting dispatched. Unlike about half the version, he wasn't inactive - his short run was because Aaron used his hero card to kill Jeff in place of Lenny Priestly, for better or for worse. However you feel about Aaron's choice in heroes, it didn't stop Jeff from feeling like a throwaway character almost from the word go; his profile screams premade player and the history ends abruptly, but his whole character is basically "insane theatre guy" who falls in love with SOTF and declares it the height of artistic achievement, because why not. Who needs Citizen Kane when you have kids being forced to murder each other? This was also back before "SOTF is a massively popular TV show that is broadcast on literally every channel because the terrorists hijacked satellites or something" got retconned away, hence the weirdness with him getting all obsessed with it and seeing it on TV; even the better characters have some influences of this, and the idea kept going even into a bit of v4 pregame with at least one character shopping for SOTF character shirts. SOTF-TV on Mini, in this way, actually isn't far from the influence of the early games!

Anyway, back to Jeff. So of course he has no empathy or people in the school he cares about according to his advantages and disadvantages, because v3! Also, male pattern baldness, because gimmicks in the appearance weren't outgrown past v1 and its nonsense like hermaphrodites. That gimmick actually never comes up again after the first post, where Jeff starts loudly thanking Danya for noticing something other than him being bald and picking him for SOTF. This is part of a monologue internal and otherwise where he basically just plays the "mad artist" thing to the hilt and goes on and on about how he plans to murder everybody, and then the brook turns into a danger zone while Aaron is waiting for replies so he hightails it into the vase rape thread.

Lucky for me, he shows up long, long after that's died down, but in a stunning display of competence and common sense he walks right up to Melina's gang and basically challenges them to a fight. He and Melina trade barbs, including the one-liner above... then Renee shoots Jeff with an arrow and Jessa buries an axe in his skull after a random flashback to him being screamed at by his mother that was blatant BDA bait. It's abrupt, padded out and pointless, just like the rest of this character's posts. There was a concept here at some point, but aside from a few displays of wit or at least cleverness Aaron never really made an attempt to make a character out of Jeff, he just kind of wandered around being evil at people and immediately got his arse kicked for it. That, I suppose, is a fairly entertaining rebuttal of the v1 style of player he was shaping up to be.

Next roll!
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
My thoughts on getting the profile: Hey, it's Ladymakaze! I liked her and I'll like this character!

My thoughts on seeing the one thread he's in: Hey, wait, isn't this one...

My thoughts on reading the post: :|

:|

Maka was always one of the better writers of the early SOTF versions, and it's really a shame she's never made a real stab at coming back. While by our standards Sato's profile isn't all that well-written, being very informal and cluttered, and the way we'd read it the story arc with his sister is kind of overdone and too one-note with how she seems to exist solely to torment him - in fact, it starts feeling a little excessive just how abusive she apparently is towards him - she was a good enough writer to pull something like that off, and the Koizumis looked like they'd have an interesting dynamic going into the game...

And then Maka disappeared. Rio never even appeared in the game proper, being announced dead and turning up in the plot twist only to die after antagonising Neil Sinclair a bit. Sato didn't even get that much; his one and only post is an inactive kill written by Aaron, who details how Sato divided up his rations but did it incorrectly and ended up near starved to death after seven days of never approaching anybody else on the island, and then as he arrives at the quarry his fear of cats, stated briefly in his profile, comes to play when he hallucinates a Bengal tiger getting ready to attack him. Panicking, he jumps into the quarry - which is a danger zone - and immediately explodes.

A boring, useless death for a concept that in good hands could have done something good, or at least made an interesting scene if the person handling it could be bothered. Damn shame Maka vanished when she did.

PS: Death fakeouts can go fuck themselves. They were always an annoying gimmick that didn't convey anything you couldn't do better just writing regularly, and to have a post be broken up by repeated death tags that get cut off for yet MORE post is just bad form.

Another roll.
Edited by The Burned Handler, Mar 28 2014, 01:48 AM.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Martinek was decent but unremarkable, except insofar as I was glad to finally have a character who was actually in more than a couple posts. Then he got fed to Lenny, so eh.

Next.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
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The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Take Dan Brent off the list, it's kind of a wasted space.

Steve's got a big game, it's gonna take a while to chew on. I'll try not to take months on this one.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
The Burned Handler
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I used to be a handler like you, then I turned into a horse.
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I have to put Steve back on the list, for some reason I just haven't been able to get into it lately and that's not fair on the character or all the folks who can drum up the interest in read-a-thon. I'll keep reading him anyway and probably put my thoughts down on his wiki page - I'll ask for a reroll at some point but I think I might take a bit off.
Edited by The Burned Handler, Nov 4 2014, 11:29 PM.
MurderWeasel getting impatient
 
Hiya, jerk! Please don't post until edits have been completed, as doing so causes confusion/messes up the queue.


Quote:
 
18:48 Ruggawork I have faith in you!
18:48 Ruggawork and your ass!


Quote:
 
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Iktor?
16:35 Kilmarnock Maybe Toben.
16:35 Kilmarnock hard to tell until they make out with me.
16:35 *** mib_6brm7d is now known as Irene


Things SOTFers say
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
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