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Mitchell Burroughs
Topic Started: Mar 31 2013, 07:32 AM (325 Views)
Cosmonologist
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Name: Mitchell Burroughs
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Video Games(Member of Club), Anime(Member of Club), Manga, Creative Writing(Member of Club), Drawing, Reading, Internet Culture

Appearance: Mitchell stands at 6 feet and 5 inches. He weighs 205 pounds. Neither terribly fit or the opposite, Mitchell has a bit of extra weight on him, more so around the stomach and chest then anywhere else. His fuller chest is only noticeable if his shirt is particularly tight. He also seems to suck his stomach in a little by reflex. His shoulders tend to slouch a bit, but if he makes the conscious effort, they'll appear quite broad. Much of his skin is quite pale thanks to long hours indoors. Only his forearms and face retain the light tan from his hours in the sun when he was younger. While close to brown, his deep set eyes have a tinge of red to them, making them look like bronze without the shine. Mitchell's face is diamond shaped and is a little longer then average, but this is only noticeable in his forehead, which he keeps behind a thick fringe of chocolate brown hair. The rest of his hair falls just below his ears, but looks a little shorter due to its natural flick, curling up slightly. His lips are fuller than average, especially his lower lip, and the bridge of his nose is straight. His hands and feet are quite large, but blend in with the rest of his body. As a nail biter, his nail are never in a neat condition.

Mitchell tends to be inconsistent with his fashion. He wears what style he feels like wearing at the time. Sometimes this can be a more formal appearance, with a blazer over a good shirt as well as nice jeans or dress pants and leather shoes. The more common of his styles, however, is a casual look with a collared T-shirt and cargo pants or shorts. His T-shirts are a mix of dark colours and normal but not boring patterns, with the exception of a few shirts with amusing designs. The majority of his pants range from brown to black, with a few army green shorts thrown in there. As for his shoes, he almost always wears joggers or boots. He doesn't like wearing thongs or shoes with a light feeling to them. Around his neck, he wears a tribal cross labelled Aariel, which means either “lion of god” or “fearlessness.”

On the day of the trip, Mitchell was wearing a light and thin brown jacket with a white stripe going down both sleeves. Underneath, he wore a dark red shirt with a splotchy pattern of black horizontal stripes on the front and back, as if they had been hurriedly painted on. His necklace rested over his shirt, but under his jacket. His navy blue cargo shorts fell just below the knee, looking shorter then they were thanks to his height. They were held up by a simple black leather belt with a normal metal buckle. His shoes were a casual style, colored black with white highlights and laces. His socks were white anklets with black soles.

Biography: Mitchell was born to Katrina and William Burroughs in Seattle and is one of two children, the other being his younger sister Penelope. From ages one to five, Mitchell was raised in a big family house completely unaware of the growing hostility between his two parents. Katrina worked as a nurse and was an ideal wife, a caring woman who was good with kids and was always there for her husband. William, on the other hand was a gambler, a user of illicit substances and an unfaithful man. He ran one of the larger residential construction companies in the area. Katrina was aware of some of these issues and played dumb to them for her children's sake. This changed upon her finding out the sum of a gambling debt William had racked up, which led to her attacking him in front of her children. Still young, Mitchell didn't understand what was happening. In the end, they divorced and Mitchell and Penelope stayed with Katrina. Due to Katrina's long hours, her children often ended up staying with her elderly parents.

As a young child, Mitchell was fairly quiet and shy, especially around new faces. He was never demanding, as opposed to his sister Penelope. Though the two children grew up together, they grew up to be the opposite. Where Penelope was selfish and arrogant, yet out-going and sociable, Mitchell was selfless and humble, but introverted. The two would often fight over little things, such as who got to watch what they want on the TV or who got to sit in the front seat. Only a few times did it get physical, such as when Mitchell refused to let his sister in front of him in the line for the bus so he didn't upset the others. It was Penelope's quick to anger attitude that caused these fights to escalate. Most of the time, Mitchell would lose these fights unless Katrina or her parents were around to stop it. Their grandmother tried her best, but with her husband's oncoming dementia, it was hard for her. As for Katrina, the stress of her work often distracted her from her children's hostile relations.

His sister was not his only bully as he had another one in primary school. There was a girl, the daughter of Katrina's neighbor and friend, who had a vocal but childish crush on him. Mitchell seemed to reciprocate, but his nature made it hard to tell. One of the few to pick up on it was an admirer of Mitchell's friend and because of this, he targeted Mitchell. At times, the bullying was physical, but it mainly consisted of the admirer chasing Mitchell away from his friend. She must have noticed this because she started spending more time around her admirer during breaks, as if daring Mitchell to try his luck. While he did a few times, Mitchell eventually gave up. This led to the admirer easing up on targeting Mitchell but he would still bully him on occasion.

Between him always having been quiet, his mother's distractions from work and his grandmother's troubles with her husband, Mitchell was able to hide what stress he experienced. Mitchell was never good with expressing his emotions, or talking about them. Rather then let loose his emotions like his sister, Mitchell would bottle up all his negativity. This included the small things, like a taunt from a fellow student, to bigger issues, like the loneliness experienced when he went to his father's place.

Every second weekend he and his sister would go to their father's house, since he lived close by. William claimed to love his children but secretly still clung to his vices that ended the relationship with Katrina. As a result, he didn't really spend much time with them and left them to their own devices. To deal with the boredom and loneliness, Mitchell would bring his game console and spend most of the entire weekend playing his games. Penelope often joined him and it was one of the few times they would ever get along. This was how Mitchell's hobbies in video games developed.

His relationship with his father never recovered as Mitchell couldn't see William as a father after he left. Instead, he likened the man to a distant friend, one that he didn't approve of. Because of what his father did during his marriage with Katrina, Mitchell would always hold a dislike for things such as smoking, drinking and drugs. Mitchell only found out because he found a needle on his father's property and asked his mother about it when he got home, who then tried to explain what William had done during their marriage in a neutral light. He does not think very highly of people who are addicted to their vices. Nor does he think much of people who are promiscuous due to his father's unfaithfulness. He would come to appreciate a more pure idea of a relationship as a result, where both parties loved each other sincerely. Shortly before primary school ended, William moved away and his children rarely saw him afterwards.

Mitchell's favorite hobby would always be video games but he did develop others. He loved to read books where he could lose himself in another world, fantasy and science fiction novels in particular. Writing also became a hobby through reading. After reading a good book, he was inspired to create worlds of his own and took to fleshing them out with words and sometimes drawings. Though he made stories for his settings, his main joy in writing was to craft these special worlds. In the few writing assessments he did at school, teachers would always praise him for his efforts, as would his mother.

High school was a difficult time for Mitchell. He was naive to much of what went on around him, unaware of the rapidly maturing state of his fellow students. His kind nature had originally been an asset, but some of his fellow students took to taking advantage of Mitchell. He had always enjoyed helping people but when he saw his efforts weren't being appreciated, this part of him started to recede. Also, his good impressions of others and easily trusting attitude waned after learning that many of them weren't as innocent as he would have liked. Perhaps the most influential event was when he found out that his then current crush was no longer a virgin. It was not so much that she was no longer a virgin, as it was him realizing how ignorant he had been towards his fellow students. The issue might have appeared small, but when combined with everything else, it gave him a new perspective on the world he once saw.

Mitchell changed quite drastically during this time. Many of his public mannerisms remained the same at first. He was still nice and courteous to people, including his friends. What changed was on inside. His smiles became forced and spending time with his friends became a chore. He got angry at things he would not have previously cared about, but refrained from expressing it. What Mitchell hadn't grasped was that by bottling all his frustration and anger up over the years, he had been on a dangerous road for a while. Everything has a limit and it was all starting to catch up with him. Not helping him was Mitchell's discovery of websites like 4chan. On it, Mitchell hid behind his status as an anonymous and posted things he would never say in real life. It allowed him to vent but not in a healthy way. Through 4chan, he was introduced to anime and manga, which he came to enjoy. It gave him an escape from reality, much like video games and reading did.

Mitchell continued with his unhealthy life, his body suffering as a result. Mitchell lost motivation for exercise, and gained some weight. His grades began to drop as well as all his free time was spent on his hobbies, or means of escape. For a while, his only means of communication with school friends outside of school was through online games.

The biggest mistake Mitchell made was to escape from his issues, not confront and deal with them. It came back to bite him in a big way. When he was 17, a careless driver almost hit Mitchell in the Lone Pine Mall parking lot. Though he was clearly at fault, the driver blamed Mitchell and even spat at him. Mitchell snapped and began hurling the contents of his purchase at the drivers car, scratching it. Mitchell then tried to attack the driver after he got out of his car but was stopped by some of the people surrounding them. When both of them calmed down, Mitchell was suddenly hit with a wave of shame. He gave no resistance when the driver asked for his parent's contact information.

Katrina sorted the issue out, getting the man to not pursue charges other then insurance for his repairs. She was upset with her son as she believed she had not raised him to do such a thing. Mitchell got angry at that, pointing out it was his grandmother who did most of the raising and not her. Seeing the look on his mother's face after tore at him. Now aware that he had issues, Mitchell would go to see a psychologist to address his anger as well as his newly developed self-hatred. His hatred for himself came about due to a combination of the event with the driver and his mother, as well as the loss of his former self.

He saw his psychologist on a weekly basis for the first few months. She instructed him in ways to help himself, beginning with simple breathing techniques before moving onto communicating more with others and not bottling every thing up. She also suggested to not be so pessimistic, but this would prove the hardest for Mitchell to shake. He did, however, come to accept her suggestion of using humor to defuse any bouts of rage. Having liked the silly humor of the internet culture for years now, this step was much easier for him to follow. After he began to show signs of recovering, his hair trigger temper receding, visits to the psychologist became less constant.

Whilst all this went on, Mitchell's relationships with his friends had degraded. He still has a close friend or two, but many of his other friends have become only acquaintances. It's not likely that he will get them back as he has changed significantly. He doesn't get along with as many as he once did, favoring relationships with the more artistic types now, or fans of anime and games. He recently joined the anime, creative writing and video game clubs because of this.

The once naive and selfless Mitchell is long gone, leaving a rougher personality in its wake. Taught by his psychologist not to bottle up his feelings, Mitchell has opted for the opposite, that being brutal honesty. He is sarcastic and still has trouble shaking his pessimism. No longer is he selfless and helpful towards everyone who asks, but still will take the time to help those closest to him, or those he feels deserve it. At times, he can still be the victim of his anger issues, but does well in controlling it.

Advantages: Having been taught methods of self-control, Mitchell is good at keeping calm when under stress. He is tall and has a thick build, giving him the edge over smaller competition.
Disadvantages: His change in personality has made him much more abrasive and a lack of restraint when expressing himself can upset others easily.
Edited by Cosmonologist, Mar 31 2013, 10:22 PM.
Mitchell Burroughs - "If you don't like the truth, then change it"
Finally on his way home from Challenge Accepted


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Heya, Cosmo. Mitchell is DENIED pending some heavy revision.

Name: Mitchell Burroughs
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Video Games(Member of Club), Anime(Member of Club), Manga, Creative Writing(Member of Club), Drawing, Reading, Internet Culture

Appearance: Mitchell stands at 6 feet and 5 inches. (This guy is really tall. Does it cause him any issues and how does he feel about being so tall?) He weighs 205 pounds. Neither terribly fit or the opposite, Mitchell has a bit of extra weight on him, more so around the stomach and chest then anywhere else. His fuller chest is only noticeable if his shirt is particularly tight. He also seems to suck his stomach in a little by reflex. His shoulders tend to slouch a bit, but if he makes the conscious effort, they'll appear quite broad. Much of his skin is quite pale thanks to long hours indoors. Only his forearms and face retain the light tan from his hours in the sun when he was younger. (Tans don't last that long. Remove or supply a reason for still having some tan.) While close to brown, his deep set eyes have a tinge of red to them, making them look like bronze without the shine. (Kind of flowery for a bored terrorist. They're bronze-coloured. Much more concise.) Mitchell's face is diamond shaped and is a little longer then average, but this is only noticeable in his forehead, which he keeps behind a thick fringe of chocolate brown hair. The rest of his hair falls just below his ears, but looks a little shorter due to its natural flick, curling up slightly. His lips are fuller than average, especially his lower lip, and the bridge of his nose is straight. His hands and feet are quite large, but blend in with the rest of his body. As a nail biter, his nail(s) are never in a neat condition.

Mitchell tends to be inconsistent with his fashion. He wears what style he feels like wearing at the time. (Why the inconsistency? Why does he switch from formal to casual so randomly?) Sometimes this can be a more formal appearance, with a blazer over a good shirt as well as nice jeans or dress pants and leather shoes. The more common of his styles, however, is a casual look with a collared T-shirt and cargo pants or shorts. His T-shirts are a mix of dark colours and normal but not boring patterns, with the exception of a few shirts with amusing designs. The majority of his pants range from brown to black, with a few army green shorts thrown in there. As for his shoes, he almost always wears joggers or boots. He doesn't like wearing thongs or shoes with a light feeling to them. Around his neck, he wears a tribal cross labelled Aariel, which means either “lion of god” or “fearlessness.” (Why this specific necklace?)

On the day of the trip, Mitchell was wearing a light and thin brown jacket with a white stripe going down both sleeves. Underneath, he wore a dark red shirt with a splotchy pattern of black horizontal stripes on the front and back, as if they had been hurriedly painted on. His necklace rested over his shirt, but under his jacket. His navy blue cargo shorts fell just below the knee, looking shorter then they were thanks to his height. They were held up by a simple black leather belt with a normal metal buckle. His shoes were a casual style, colored black with white highlights and laces. His socks were white anklets with black soles. (This is a very mismatched outfit. Wearing a jacket with shorts makes no sense.

Biography: Mitchell was born to Katrina and William Burroughs (William Burroughs is also the name of a famous author who also had drug issues and domestic violence issues, and is thus far too close to this William for comfort. Please change the name.) in Seattle and is one of two children, the other being his younger sister Penelope. From ages one to five, Mitchell was raised in a big family house completely unaware of the growing hostility between his two parents. Katrina worked as a nurse and was an ideal wife, a caring woman who was good with kids and was always there for her husband. William, on the other hand was a gambler, a user of illicit substances and an unfaithful man. He ran one of the larger residential construction companies in the area. Katrina was aware of some of these issues and played dumb to them for her children's sake. This changed upon her finding out the sum of a gambling debt William had racked up, which led to her attacking him in front of her children. Still young, Mitchell didn't understand what was happening. In the end, they divorced and Mitchell and Penelope stayed with Katrina. Due to Katrina's long hours, her children often ended up staying with her elderly parents.

(This is a very uncomfortable and cartoonized portrayal of domestic abuse. There's no subtlety, nuance or rationale. Both parents are caricatures, the father in how much of a bad person he is and the mother in how much of a good person she is. No reasons are supplied for why the father does all these things or why the mother stuck with him for so long. The fact that she attacked the father upon finding out about the debt is also problematic. If you meant attacked him verbally, please rephrase it in a way that makes it clearer. But if she attacked him physically, which was my impression of it, then that is both over-reactive, especially for such a kind, supportive woman, and should have a huge impact on the children that witnessed it. Even if they didn't understand fully why it was happening, something like that would likely stick with them in some way.)

As a young child, Mitchell was fairly quiet and shy, especially around new faces. He was never demanding, as opposed to his sister Penelope. Though the two children grew up together, they grew up to be the opposite. Where Penelope was selfish and arrogant, yet out-going and sociable, Mitchell was selfless and humble, but introverted. (How do two children raised in the same basic way end up so entirely different?) The two would often fight over little things, such as who got to watch what they want on the TV or who got to sit in the front seat. Only a few times did it get physical, such as when Mitchell refused to let his sister in front of him in the line for the bus so he didn't upset the others. It was Penelope's quick to anger attitude that caused these fights to escalate. (The similar problem that the parents had is present here. Penelope is always at fault and always a horrible, selfish person, and Mitchell is always blameless and kind. It's extremely one-dimensional.) Most of the time, Mitchell would lose these fights unless Katrina or her parents were around to stop it. (Did no-one on the bus stop it? The bus driver or someone in the bus line?) Their grandmother tried her best, but with her husband's oncoming dementia, it was hard for her. (This dementia comes out of nowhere.) As for Katrina, the stress of her work often distracted her from her children's hostile relations.

His sister was not his only bully as he had another one in primary school. There was a girl, the daughter of Katrina's neighbor and friend, who had a vocal but childish crush on him. Mitchell seemed to reciprocate, but his nature made it hard to tell. (This is a profile written, essentially, by an omnipresent terrorist. The profile should not be confused on if Mitchell had a crush or not.) One of the few to pick up on it was an admirer of Mitchell's friend and because of this, he targeted Mitchell. At times, the bullying was physical, but it mainly consisted of the admirer chasing Mitchell away from his friend. She must have noticed this because she started spending more time around her admirer during breaks, as if daring Mitchell to try his luck. (Hanging around her admirer because he bullies Mitchell, despite apparently having a crush on him, is nonsensical and just plain mean. Did he have no nice people in his life?) While he did a few times, Mitchell eventually gave up. This led to the admirer easing up on targeting Mitchell but he would still bully him on occasion. (The bullying situation is also rather caricatured, due to the lack of sympathetic people, besides Mitchell, and also the fact that the effects aren't explained at all. Bullying should have an impact on the child. Tone the bullying down and explain the effects, or remove it entirely. It doesn't add anything to the profile as it is.)

Between him always having been quiet, his mother's distractions from work and his grandmother's troubles with her husband, Mitchell was able to hide what stress he experienced. Mitchell was never good with expressing his emotions, or talking about them. Rather then let loose his emotions like his sister, Mitchell would bottle up all his negativity. This included the small things, like a taunt from a fellow student, to bigger issues, like the loneliness experienced when he went to his father's place. (Why did he choose to bottle them up? Hiding stress and emotions isn't typical childlike behaviour. Children are supposed to be selfish. At least early on. Most children would at least whine about it.)

Every second weekend he and his sister would go to their father's house, since he lived close by. William claimed to love his children but secretly still clung to his vices that ended the relationship with Katrina. As a result, he didn't really spend much time with them and left them to their own devices. To deal with the boredom and loneliness, Mitchell would bring his game console and spend most of the entire weekend playing his games. Penelope often joined him and it was one of the few times they would ever get along. (Okay, I like that the siblings can occasionally get along, makes it a little less cartoony. Would prefer to see more of this, so he has a more nuanced connection with his sister.) This was how Mitchell's hobbies in video games developed.

His relationship with his father never recovered as Mitchell couldn't see William as a father after he left. Instead, he likened the man to a distant friend, one that he didn't approve of. Because of what his father did during his marriage with Katrina, Mitchell would always hold a dislike for things such as smoking, drinking and drugs. Mitchell only found out because he found a needle on his father's property and asked his mother about it when he got home, who then tried to explain what William had done during their marriage in a neutral light. (The father leaving his drug needles in reach of a child is the sort of thing that the mother could almost certainly take away his visitation rights.) He does not think very highly of people who are addicted to their vices. Nor does he think much of people who are promiscuous due to his father's unfaithfulness. He would come to appreciate a more pure idea of a relationship as a result, where both parties loved each other sincerely. Shortly before primary school ended, William moved away and his children rarely saw him afterwards.

Mitchell's favorite hobby would always be video games but he did develop others. He loved to read books where he could lose himself in another world, fantasy and science fiction novels in particular. Writing also became a hobby through reading. After reading a good book, he was inspired to create worlds of his own and took to fleshing them out with words and sometimes drawings. Though he made stories for his settings, his main joy in writing was to craft these special worlds. In the few writing assessments he did at school, teachers would always praise him for his efforts, as would his mother.

High school was a difficult time for Mitchell. He was naive to much of what went on around him, unaware of the rapidly maturing state of his fellow students. His kind nature had originally been an asset, but some of his fellow students took to taking advantage of Mitchell. He had always enjoyed helping people but when he saw his efforts weren't being appreciated, this part of him started to recede. Also, his good impressions of others and easily trusting attitude waned after learning that many of them weren't as innocent as he would have liked. Perhaps the most influential event was when he found out that his then current crush was no longer a virgin. It was not so much that she was no longer a virgin, as it was him realizing how ignorant he had been towards his fellow students. The issue might have appeared small, but when combined with everything else, it gave him a new perspective on the world he once saw. (Okay, I have a problem with this. First off, Mitchell's naivety is not mentioned before this paragraph and comes out of nowhere. Second, someone with a drugged-up, neglectful father who witnessed his mother attacking the father shouldn't be that naive. Thirdly, the issue about his crush not being a virgin. Why was that such a big thing to him? How did he find out? How did it affect his relationship with the girl? I notice that she's mentioned as a crush and not a girlfriend. If that's the case, it's also substantially creepy that he got such a strong reaction to something that really wasn't any of his business.)

Mitchell changed quite drastically during this time. Many of his public mannerisms remained the same at first. He was still nice and courteous to people, including his friends. What changed was on inside. His smiles became forced and spending time with his friends became a chore. He got angry at things he would not have previously cared about, but refrained from expressing it. What Mitchell hadn't grasped was that by bottling all his frustration and anger up over the years, he had been on a dangerous road for a while. Everything has a limit and it was all starting to catch up with him. Not helping him was Mitchell's discovery of websites like 4chan. On it, Mitchell hid behind his status as an anonymous and posted things he would never say in real life. It allowed him to vent but not in a healthy way. Through 4chan, he was introduced to anime and manga, which he came to enjoy. It gave him an escape from reality, much like video games and reading did.

Mitchell continued with his unhealthy life, his body suffering as a result. Mitchell lost motivation for exercise, and gained some weight. His grades began to drop as well as all his free time was spent on his hobbies, or means of escape. For a while, his only means of communication with school friends outside of school was through online games. (What did his mother and grandparents think of this? Even a mother who often works late would notice their child gaining weight and their grades slipping, and same for the grandparents.)

The biggest mistake Mitchell made was to escape from his issues, not confront and deal with them. It came back to bite him in a big way. When he was 17, a careless driver almost hit Mitchell in the Lone Pine Mall parking lot. Though he was clearly at fault, the driver blamed Mitchell and even spat at him. (This is another instance that makes it look like Mitchell is always blameless and everyone in the world is cruel.) Mitchell snapped and began hurling the contents of his purchase at the drivers car, scratching it. Mitchell then tried to attack the driver after he got out of his car but was stopped by some of the people surrounding them. When both of them calmed down, Mitchell was suddenly hit with a wave of shame. He gave no resistance when the driver asked for his parent's contact information.

Katrina sorted the issue out, getting the man to not pursue charges other then insurance for his repairs. (Okay, hold it right there. Mitchell just tried to assault someone. And apart from Mitchell's guilt, the actual attempt at assault is essentially brushed off by everyone around him. This is not okay. That equals a bit more telling off than just a bit of 'shame on you.' Mitchell's sudden violent side is not something I like. It makes him seem far too close to snapping, which to me seems like an excuse for him to snap quickly on the island. This profile would do much better if the assault portion was removed. It loses nothing if Mitchell only dented his car.) She was upset with her son as she believed she had not raised him to do such a thing. Mitchell got angry at that, pointing out it was his grandmother who did most of the raising and not her. Seeing the look on his mother's face after tore at him. Now aware that he had issues, Mitchell would go to see a psychologist to address his anger as well as his newly developed self-hatred. His hatred for himself came about due to a combination of the event with the driver and his mother, as well as the loss of his former self. (Should one comment, especially one that had a lot of basis in truth, really amplify his guilt that much? Yes, therapy is a good step, but it was one comment and one incident versus a lifetime of bottling.)

He saw his psychologist on a weekly basis for the first few months. She instructed him in ways to help himself, beginning with simple breathing techniques before moving onto communicating more with others and not bottling every thing up. She also suggested to not be so pessimistic, but this would prove the hardest for Mitchell to shake. He did, however, come to accept her suggestion of using humor to defuse any bouts of rage. (That doesn't seem like a legitimate way of calming down anger. It seems like another method of bottling it up.) Having liked the silly humor of the internet culture for years now, this step was much easier for him to follow. After he began to show signs of recovering, his hair trigger temper receding, visits to the psychologist became less constant. (That's a bit too quick to be seeing the therapist less. He should be sticking with it until his temper is much more controlled, rather than simply 'receding,' and that tends not to happen within a few short months.)

Whilst all this went on, Mitchell's relationships with his friends had degraded. He still has a close friend or two, but many of his other friends have become only acquaintances. It's not likely that he will get them back as he has changed significantly. He doesn't get along with as many as he once did, favoring relationships with the more artistic types now, or fans of anime and games. (I get the friendship with gamers and anime fans, but why the artistic types?) He recently joined the anime, creative writing and video game clubs because of this.

The once naive and selfless Mitchell is long gone, leaving a rougher personality in its wake. Taught by his psychologist not to bottle up his feelings, Mitchell has opted for the opposite, that being brutal honesty. (He wouldn't be taught to be brutally honest. That often equals bullying.) He is sarcastic and still has trouble shaking his pessimism. No longer is he selfless and helpful towards everyone who asks, but still will take the time to help those closest to him, or those he feels deserve it. At times, he can still be the victim of his anger issues, but does well in controlling it.

Advantages: Having been taught methods of self-control, Mitchell is good at keeping calm when under stress. (A year ago he threw books at someone's car. He shouldn't have improved so quickly to equal calm.) He is tall and has a thick build, giving him the edge over smaller competition.
Disadvantages: His change in personality has made him much more abrasive and a lack of restraint when expressing himself can upset others easily. (This is just barely a disadvantage. I would like to see at least one more disadvantage, ideally two.)

The big issue with Mitchell is that he needs normalcy. Right now, all this profile is is a story about a guy pushed to the breaking point and treated like dirt by everyone around him, it seems. It's one-note and borders on the ridiculous, and the situation at home and the attempted assault and all just isn't dealt with in a sensitive manner. It needs to be toned down. A lot.

He also needs a lot more detail on the normal things. What does he do in his free time besides surfing 4chan? What is his relationship with his mother and grandparents like? You mention his guilt towards insulting his mother once, but otherwise their relationship isn't delved into, and the relationship with the grandparents isn't mentioned at all. What classes does he like? Which ones doesn't he like? What does he want to do once he graduates?

So, focus on toning down the abuse and the thing where everyone's cruel, and up the detail on the more normal aspects of his life. Post when you're finished and PM me if you have any questions or need some more help.
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U~wah...

It's shocking how much you can ignore without critique. Looks like a full re-write is in order.

Thanks for the review, Medic. I feel like this guy is beyond saving.
I'd like to forfeit him if that's ok.
Mitchell Burroughs - "If you don't like the truth, then change it"
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This character has been abandoned by the original handler. It is eligible for resubmission at any time by the handler to whom it has been passed off, pending edits requested by the staff.
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