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Janet Halverson
Topic Started: Feb 24 2013, 03:04 AM (315 Views)
white lancer
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Name: Janet Halverson
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High
Hobbies and Interests: Girl's Basketball, tennis, volleyball, swimming

Appearance: Janet is an athletic, solidly built girl standing a little over 6'2" and weighing 186 pounds. She is fairly lean and flat-chested, but her athletic pursuits have given her a muscular, toned body; this is obvious during exercise, when she tends to wear sleeveless white T-shirts and short athletic shorts. Outside of exercise, though, Janet dresses more conservatively with jeans and longer-sleeved tops. This is due to her feeling self-conscious about being larger than a lot of the boys at Aurora High; for the same reasons, she avoids altogether and wears mostly flip-flops or flats. Due to her financial situation, Janet has a limited wardrobe and relies on department stores and thrift stores for clothing. While she tries to dress in cute clothes, her height and budget often force her to wear plain or masculine clothing, so most of her tops are solid colors and she never wears jewelry. On the day of the abduction, she was wearing jeans, beige flats, and a dark blue long-sleeved T-shirt.

Janet considers herself to be plain at best in terms of appearance. Her nose is a little long for her face, her lips are thin, and some of her teeth are crooked. Her skin is tanned from the sports she plays outside, and her skin, especially her face, is lightly spotted with freckles and the occasional pimple. In an effort to compensate for her plain looks, Janet does put some effort into maintaining her appearance. Her hair is a dark red color bordering on brown, and she brushes it frequently to keep it straight and untangled. Normally, she allows it to fall freely to her shoulders, although when she's exercising she ties it up in a tight bun. Janet does wear makeup, but she does so sparingly, as she mostly wants to conceal the bags under her dark brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped and her features are fairly narrow.

Biography: Janet is the result of an unexpected teenage pregnancy. Her parents, Lee and Shelley, met during their junior year at Aurora High School and started dating, and they were just 17 when Janet was conceived. Though they discussed a number of other options including abortion and putting the child up for adoption, the two of them were convinced they were perfect for each other and so they decided to raise Janet together. They got married shortly after graduating high school, and Lee quickly got a job in construction to support them while Shelley was in her last months.

Janet was born on August 17, 1994 in Seattle, where she lived her entire life. As her parents were unable to afford much in the ways of toys, Janet found ways of entertaining herself outside. She was fortunate to live in a neighborhood that had a number of families with younger kids, so she spent a lot of time playing with them. Quickly demonstrating tomboyish tendencies, Janet had no problem getting dirty with the boys in her neighborhood. It also became apparent that she was going to take after her father, who was a large, powerful man; Janet grew young and she grew quickly, and after she entered school she was the tallest in her grade for several years.

Due mainly to their financial situation, Lee and Shelley put off having any more kids for several years, but they had always wanted another child or two. When Janet first entered elementary school, her parents decided to try for another, and after Janet turned 6, Shelley gave birth to David. Though their lives had been far from easy up until this point, David's birth added extra complications. From early on, he was a sickly child, as he suffered through chest infections and was growing at a noticeably slow rate, and it didn't take long before the couple received the diagnosis that would cause their family to unravel: David had cystic fibrosis.

The first six years of Lee and Shelley Halverson's relationship were not easy ones, as Janet was witness to a number of arguments, but in the years after David's diagnosis those arguments became more numerous and heated. The added stress, financial and emotional, that David's condition put on the family took its toll, as both parents became more distant from their older daughter and from each other; Lee began to work even longer hours, both to help offset the extra costs and to avoid having to deal with David directly, while Shelley was forced to devote more of her time to David's treatment. Shelley's frustrations soon grew to resentment, as she came to feel as though Lee was leaving all the work on her.

With her parents otherwise occupied, Janet often found herself alone, and she began to become more independent. At the age of 10, she discovered what would become one of her greatest passions in life: basketball. Her height made basketball an obvious choice for her, and her natural athletic ability helped her excel at the sport from a young age; in the recreational leagues where she got her start, there was really no one who could stop her. Throughout the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school, Janet discovered other sports that helped her keep her mind off the troubles at home. She took to volleyball almost as naturally as she took to basketball, and she played on both teams throughout middle school. Janet was also a member of the Swim Team for several years, and while she wasn't quite as naturally talented at swimming as she was at volleyball or basketball, she loved being in the water. Finally, later on, she discovered tennis, and when she discovered that she was able to serve and hit more powerfully than anyone else, the sport became a favorite of hers. Even at a young age, Janet demonstrated a strong competitiveness and determination in each sport, and both would only increase as she got older.

While Janet was experiencing so much success in sports during middle school, her home life was deteriorating. Lee had always been something of a drinker, but the habit soon developed into full-blown alcoholism, and Shelley began to have similar issues. She had to start working part-time to make ends meet, and when she wasn't working or helping David out, she was arguing with her husband. Neither of them made much of an effort to make it to any of Janet's sporting events; in fact, the member of her family that made it to her events most often was little David. Janet found herself becoming quite close to her baby brother, far apart in age though they were, and she often wound up taking care of him and helping him through his airway clearance treatments when her parents were otherwise occupied.

Due in some part to the alcohol, Lee and Shelley's arguments began to become violent, and Shelley began to hide bruises from her children and coworkers. By this point, Shelley had slipped into depression, and she found herself unable to go against her husband or end the relationship. This went on for some time, with Janet aware of her father's increasingly volatile temper but not the violence, until she came home one day with David and witnessed it first-hand. Having grown increasingly independent, and fearing that Lee's temper might be turned on her or David someday, Janet found the strength to do what her mother could not and order her father to leave. When that happened, Lee struck her for the first time, but Janet threatened to call the cops, causing Lee to back down and leave. From that point forward, Janet began feeling deeply disdainful of both her parents: Lee for the abuse and alcoholism, and Shelley for her inability to stand up to her husband. She was unaware of her mother's struggles with depression, but she came to look upon her parents as weak and selfish in their responses to David's illness.

Janet was barely 14 when her father left, and as it turned out, he never returned. This, however, presented a new set of difficulties, as he had been the primary earner in the family. Shelley began to go to work full-time, leaving David even more fully in Janet's care just as she entered high school. It was at this point that Janet's social life virtually evaporated. She had never been one of the popular girls--her financial situation and her less-than-attractive looks had seen to that--but she had developed some very close bonds with the girls on her sports teams. Now, though, she had extra responsibility, and though she continued with basketball, volleyball, and tennis, she quit the Swim Team and began to come home immediately after each practice was over. Outside of her classes and practices, she had no real social contact with anyone else, simply because she had no time. Her grades, which had before been consistently As and Bs, began to slip; she rarely got As anymore, and Cs were becoming increasingly more common.

By this time, David was old enough to be aware of the stress his condition was causing his family, and he was starting to feel guilty about it. He started trying to take care of himself as well as possible, so as to lessen the strain on Janet and give her the ability to pursue the sports she loved so much, but there was only so much he could do. At one point, he came to Janet crying and apologized to her for holding her back so much, but she simply told him he couldn't blame himself for anything since he hadn't chosen to have this disease. Though she managed to talk him through his guilt on this instance, Janet was worried about his state of mind, and from that point on she resolved never to let him see the stress get to her again. She adopted a stoic nature and refused to let most of her emotions show, especially around David.

Janet assigned much of the blame for their current situation on their father, and during her junior year she found herself with more grievances to lay at his feet. Lee's child-care payments over the past couple of years had been sporadic at best, but in 2011 they dried up altogether. He had moved down to California and started a relationship with a fairly well-off girl down there, and he was finding every way he could to drag his feet and dodge his payments. At first, Shelley tried to take him to court, but she just didn't have the energy to pursue the case through the convoluted court system of both states and resigned herself to doing it on her own. That year, she asked Janet to quit all of her sports teams because she was going to need yet more help, and an argument ensued. Janet was willing to quit tennis and volleyball, as much as it pained her to do so, but she was really getting somewhere with basketball. After years of playing center due to her height, she had finally settled into the power forward position, and her speed and strength made her the clear starter for the varsity team. What's more, her coach was convinced she had the skill to play for a top college somewhere, especially since she continued to practice on her own on outdoor courts in her neighborhood. Janet knew that her odds of being able to pay for a college were slim, but if she could get a basketball scholarship, that door might open right back up for her.

Janet was stubborn, and she refused to budge on playing basketball. Though David would have undoubtedly supported Janet had he known of the argument, Shelley was not so forgiving. She lashed out at her daughter verbally, accusing her of being selfish and not caring about her family, and Janet lashed out in return. The argument created an unbridgeable schism between the two of them, and Janet decided from that point forward that everything she did was going to be for herself and for her little brother. She went so far as to begin researching if it would be possible to transfer custody of David away from her mother, who was still drinking heavily and had a low paying job. Unrealistic though it was, Janet was determined to take David and leave as soon as she turned 18.

Through all this, there were only two things that helped Janet get through each day. The first was her little brother, and the second was the school counselor, Ms. Platt. At the suggestion of a concerned teacher, Janet had begun meeting up with her regularly during the lunch hour, and she had helped her talk through a lot of her issues. For all her independence and determination, Janet was still only 16, and she couldn't deal with it all on her own. Ms. Platt became almost a surrogate parent for her after her falling out with her mother, and her advice became invaluable to her. The one area where they made little progress was in Janet's view of her parents; though Ms. Platt tried to help her view her parents through a more sympathetic perspective, Janet was firm in her belief that they had essentially abandoned her and David.

Janet was just preparing to go into her senior year when the family lost their only source of income, as Shelley was laid off. At Ms. Platt's urging, Janet had signed up for the bare minimum amount of classes needed to graduate, as they both hoped that cutting down on her school hours would help her to find time to fit everything in and maybe get some more sleep on the side. Instead, Janet found herself scrambling to get a job herself, which she managed at a nearby McDonald's, and what extra time she thought she might have vanished. Though her mother managed to find some temporary work as well, it wasn't enough to get the family through, so Janet found herself as her family's primary financial supporter. Janet did, however, manage to raise her GPA during this time; the easier classes she was taking helped her raise her overall GPA to just over 3.0.

Things were especially difficult for Janet during basketball season, once her favorite time of the year, but her coach and Ms. Platt both urged her not to drop the sport. As exhausting as it was, the move paid off. Though Janet would never be the team captain--she had no extra time to devote to the sport, and one of the other girls was more liked and respected anyway--she was still one of the team's best players, and her efforts did not go unnoticed. Janet was rewarded with a basketball scholarship to the University of Washington, and combined with the financial aid she received her schooling was going to be completely paid for and then some. Once she got out of high school, she was finally going to be in a stable financial position, at least for a while. She plans to study Kinesiology in preparation for a career in physical therapy, an idea she got through the physical therapy treatments David had to go through.

Advantages: Janet is an athlete and possesses a lot of strength, speed, and endurance. She is determined, independent, and experienced with dealing with exhaustion and lack of sleep.
Disadvantages: Because so much of her time was devoted to taking care of David, Janet does not have many close friends at her school any more. Her height and strength could be intimidating to potential allies.
v5 Character:
Carlon Wheeler
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Heya, Lancer. Janet's DENIED pending some serious revision.

Name: Janet Halverson
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High
Hobbies and Interests: Girl's Basketball, tennis, volleyball, swimming (The basketball being capitalized and not the rest of it feels weird to me, either capitalize all hobbies or none of them. Also, Janet really should have some hobbies that aren't sports. No-one plays sports 24/7. What else does she do with her free time?)

Appearance: Janet is an athletic, solidly built girl standing a little over 6'2" and weighing 186 pounds. She is fairly lean and flat-chested, but her athletic pursuits have given her a muscular, toned body; this is obvious during exercise, when she tends to wear sleeveless white T-shirts and short athletic shorts. Outside of exercise, though, Janet dresses more conservatively with jeans and longer-sleeved tops. This is due to her feeling self-conscious about being larger than a lot of the boys at Aurora High; for the same reasons, she avoids (you seem to be missing a word here: what does she avoid?) altogether and wears mostly flip-flops or flats. Due to her financial situation, Janet has a limited wardrobe and relies on department stores and thrift stores for clothing. While she tries to dress in cute clothes, her height and budget often force her to wear plain or masculine clothing, so most of her tops are solid colors and she never wears jewelry. (Speaking as someone who doesn't fit a lot of clothes, though for width-related reasons, finding cute clothes that fit weird body shapes isn't really that hard. Thrift stores sell a lot of stuff. There's also tons of places that sell dirt-cheap jewelry.) On the day of the abduction, she was wearing jeans, beige flats, and a dark blue long-sleeved T-shirt.

Janet considers herself to be plain at best in terms of appearance. Her nose is a little long for her face, her lips are thin, and some of her teeth are crooked. Her skin is tanned from the sports she plays outside, and her skin, especially her face, is lightly spotted with freckles and the occasional pimple. In an effort to compensate for her plain looks, Janet does put some effort into maintaining her appearance. Her hair is a dark red color bordering on brown, and she brushes it frequently to keep it straight and untangled. Normally, she allows it to fall freely to her shoulders, although when she's exercising she ties it up in a tight bun. Janet does wear makeup, but she does so sparingly, as she mostly wants to conceal the bags under her dark brown eyes. Her face is heart-shaped and her features are fairly narrow. (Just a bit more facial description, maybe another distinguishing feature or two.)

Biography: Janet is the result of an unexpected teenage pregnancy. Her parents, Lee and Shelley, met during their junior year at Aurora High School and started dating, and they were just 17 when Janet was conceived. Though they discussed a number of other options including abortion and putting the child up for adoption, the two of them were convinced they were perfect for each other and so they decided to raise Janet together. They got married shortly after graduating high school, and Lee quickly got a job in construction to support them while Shelley was in her last months.

(Okay, I have some questions about this concerning the grandparents. Namely, where on earth were they? Lee and Shelley's parents aren't mentioned at all either here or in the rest of the profile, and I want to know what they were doing. Did they approve of their kids having a child? Did they support them, disown them, maintain an air of disapproval? Where were they through all this? During the later poorness and abuse and everything else? It's particularly a large gap since these were teenage parents, and I want more information on the subject. Especially since there's a lot of parts where I'm sure someone should have stepped in or been contacted if they existed.

Adding onto that, how did they survive on just one wage? And if the mother worked as well, who watched Janet?


Janet was born on August 17, 1994 in Seattle, where she lived her entire life. As her parents were unable to afford much in the ways of toys, Janet found ways of entertaining herself outside. (Once again, toys are super, super cheap at thrift stores.) She was fortunate to live in a neighborhood that had a number of families with younger kids, so she spent a lot of time playing with them. Quickly demonstrating tomboyish tendencies, Janet had no problem getting dirty with the boys in her neighborhood. (Uhhh, okay while technically a legitimate way to phrase it, this sentence just sounds... dirty. Can you find another way to phrase it?) It also became apparent that she was going to take after her father, who was a large, powerful man; Janet grew young and she grew quickly, and after she entered school she was the tallest in her grade for several years.

Due mainly to their financial situation, Lee and Shelley put off having any more kids for several years, but they had always wanted another child or two. When Janet first entered elementary school, her parents decided to try for another, and after Janet turned 6, Shelley gave birth to David. Though their lives had been far from easy up until this point, David's birth added extra complications. From early on, he was a sickly child, as he suffered through chest infections and was growing at a noticeably slow rate, and it didn't take long before the couple received the diagnosis that would cause their family to unravel: David had cystic fibrosis. (I'd like maybe a short sentence that describes what this is, just so that not everyone has to google it when they read the profile. Just change it to something like “...David had cystic fibrosis, a genetic disorder that affects the lungs, pancreas, liver and intestines.”

Back on the extended family issue again... any extended family really should have stepped in to try and help with a family member this ill. Same with extra stress. And I don't buy that there aren't any relatives that can help. These are very young parents, they should still have parents around, or cousins or aunts or someone.


The first six years of Lee and Shelley Halverson's relationship were not easy ones, as Janet was witness to a number of arguments, but in the years after David's diagnosis those arguments became more numerous and heated. The added stress, financial and emotional, that David's condition put on the family took its toll, as both parents became more distant from their older daughter and from each other; Lee began to work even longer hours, both to help offset the extra costs and to avoid having to deal with David directly, while Shelley was forced to devote more of her time to David's treatment. Shelley's frustrations soon grew to resentment, as she came to feel as though Lee was leaving all the work on her.

With her parents otherwise occupied, Janet often found herself alone, and she began to become more independent. At the age of 10, she discovered what would become one of her greatest passions in life: basketball. Her height made basketball an obvious choice for her, and her natural athletic ability helped her excel at the sport from a young age; in the recreational leagues where she got her start, there was really no one who could stop her. Throughout the end of elementary school and the beginning of middle school, Janet discovered other sports that helped her keep her mind off the troubles at home. She took to volleyball almost as naturally as she took to basketball, and she played on both teams throughout middle school. Janet was also a member of the Swim Team (swim team doesn't need to be capitalised) for several years, and while she wasn't quite as naturally talented at swimming as she was at volleyball or basketball, she loved being in the water. Finally, later on, she discovered tennis, and when she discovered that she was able to serve and hit more powerfully than anyone else, (I'd prefer to see an almost in that sentence) the sport became a favorite of hers. Even at a young age, Janet demonstrated a strong competitiveness and determination in each sport, and both would only increase as she got older.

While Janet was experiencing so much success in sports during middle school, her home life was deteriorating. Lee had always been something of a drinker, but the habit soon developed into full-blown alcoholism, and Shelley began to have similar issues. She had to start working part-time to make ends meet, and when she wasn't working or helping David out, she was arguing with her husband. Neither of them made much of an effort to make it to any of Janet's sporting events; in fact, the member of her family that made it to her events most often was little David. (David, a fairly sickly little kid, managed to get to her events without parental supervision? I find that difficult to believe, especially since you specify later that Janet, later on, barely had a social life because she was so busy taking care of him, implying that he's not really up to running to look at sport games by himself.) Janet found herself becoming quite close to her baby brother, far apart in age though they were, and she often wound up taking care of him and helping him through his airway clearance treatments when her parents were otherwise occupied. (This is a red flag. Being so involved in taking care of the sibling at that young an age... someone would notice. And then school or social services would get involved.)

Due in some part to the alcohol, Lee and Shelley's arguments began to become violent, and Shelley began to hide bruises from her children and coworkers. By this point, Shelley had slipped into depression, and she found herself unable to go against her husband or end the relationship. This went on for some time, with Janet aware of her father's increasingly volatile temper but not the violence, until she came home one day with David and witnessed it first-hand. Having grown increasingly independent, and fearing that Lee's temper might be turned on her or David someday, Janet found the strength to do what her mother could not and order her father to leave. When that happened, Lee struck her for the first time, but Janet threatened to call the cops, causing Lee to back down and leave. (Okay, giant issues with this. First off, independent she may be, but confronting a drunk, angry and extremely large father is terrifying. I doubt that Janet would so easily be able to just threaten him with the police, especially at the age of fourteen. And even if she did manage this, he's both drunk and mad. Drunk and mad people aren't rational enough to step down so easily. And thirdly, this simplifies the fact that her father hit her far, far too much. Being beaten by a relative is the sort of thing that has huge, lingering effects, and it's a very touchy topic that potentially is massively offensive, especially to members of the site with experience in it, if mishandled. Either research it more and apply more sensitivity, or preferably remove it from the profile. The father ditching them due to emotional distance is fine, but this sort of incident is very complicated and emotionally stressful, and the profile would honestly be a lot better without it.) From that point forward, Janet began feeling deeply disdainful of both her parents: Lee for the abuse and alcoholism, and Shelley for her inability to stand up to her husband. She was unaware of her mother's struggles with depression, but she came to look upon her parents as weak and selfish in their responses to David's illness.

Janet was barely 14 when her father left, and as it turned out, he never returned. This, however, presented a new set of difficulties, as he had been the primary earner in the family. Shelley began to go to work full-time, leaving David even more fully in Janet's care just as she entered high school. It was at this point that Janet's social life virtually evaporated. She had never been one of the popular girls--her financial situation and her less-than-attractive looks had seen to that--but she had developed some very close bonds with the girls on her sports teams. Now, though, she had extra responsibility, and though she continued with basketball, volleyball, and tennis, she quit the Swim Team (uncapitalise it, same as before) and began to come home immediately after each practice was over. Outside of her classes and practices, she had no real social contact with anyone else, simply because she had no time. (That doesn't mean she has no friends. People talk during class time, lunches and practices. She would still have friends.) Her grades, which had before been consistently As and Bs, began to slip; she rarely got As anymore, and Cs were becoming increasingly more common.

(Once again, big red flag. If they didn't notice earlier, someone is most certainly going to notice a fourteen-year-old girl being so involved in the caring of a sickly little brother. Even if they try to hide it, it's just too big a thing to be able to hide. Someone would notice. David might spill it, she might mention it, a teacher might notice the downward trend of her grades, and social services would swarm over it. Her father would likely be busted and have his wages garnished for child support.)

By this time, David was old enough to be aware of the stress his condition was causing his family, and he was starting to feel guilty about it. He started trying to take care of himself as well as possible, so as to lessen the strain on Janet and give her the ability to pursue the sports she loved so much, but there was only so much he could do. At one point, he came to Janet crying and apologized to her for holding her back so much, but she simply told him he couldn't blame himself for anything since he hadn't chosen to have this disease. Though she managed to talk him through his guilt on this instance, Janet was worried about his state of mind, and from that point on she resolved never to let him see the stress get to her again. She adopted a stoic nature and refused to let most of her emotions show, especially around David. (Don't buy this at all. Someone would notice the abrupt change to stoicness. Plus, reverting suddenly to no visible emotions just isn't realistic, and a family member at the very least would catch on and would likely be seriously hurt by being cut out like that, especially in the case of David. Doing this would just hurt him more.)

Janet assigned much of the blame for their current situation on their father, and during her junior year she found herself with more grievances to lay at his feet. Lee's child-care payments over the past couple of years had been sporadic at best, but in 2011 they dried up altogether. He had moved down to California and started a relationship with a fairly well-off girl down there, and he was finding every way he could to drag his feet and dodge his payments. At first, Shelley tried to take him to court, but she just didn't have the energy to pursue the case through the convoluted court system of both states and resigned herself to doing it on her own. (No. The courts are strict on this. He can't default. If he does it once or twice, then he's going to be landed with garnishment. Unless he's not working and has no money personally, he can't dodge this. Furthermore, this makes the father a complete caricature. He's just a one-dimensional jerk whose purpose is to add drama to this profile.) That year, she asked Janet to quit all of her sports teams because she was going to need yet more help, and an argument ensued. Janet was willing to quit tennis and volleyball, as much as it pained her to do so, but she was really getting somewhere with basketball. After years of playing center due to her height, she had finally settled into the power forward position, and her speed and strength made her the clear starter for the varsity team. What's more, her coach was convinced she had the skill to play for a top college somewhere, especially since she continued to practice on her own on outdoor courts in her neighborhood. Janet knew that her odds of being able to pay for a college were slim, but if she could get a basketball scholarship, that door might open right back up for her.

Janet was stubborn, and she refused to budge on playing basketball. Though David would have undoubtedly supported Janet had he known of the argument, Shelley was not so forgiving. She lashed out at her daughter verbally, accusing her of being selfish and not caring about her family, and Janet lashed out in return. The argument created an unbridgeable schism between the two of them, and Janet decided from that point forward that everything she did was going to be for herself and for her little brother. She went so far as to begin researching if it would be possible to transfer custody of David away from her mother, who was still drinking heavily and had a low paying job. Unrealistic though it was, Janet was determined to take David and leave as soon as she turned 18. (Okay, all this... the abuse, including the verbal and emotional abuse, the determination to leave, the drinking... it's all just too much and it seriously needs to be toned down.)

Through all this, there were only two things that helped Janet get through each day. The first was her little brother, and the second was the school counselor, Ms. Platt. At the suggestion of a concerned teacher, Janet had begun meeting up with her regularly during the lunch hour, and she had helped her talk through a lot of her issues. (Once again, social services is going to pick Janet up with all that's going on. Ms. Platt, as well as anyone else involved in the school system, is a mandatory reporter and would be obliged to tell social services or face very serious consequences.) For all her independence and determination, Janet was still only 16, and she couldn't deal with it all on her own. Ms. Platt became almost a surrogate parent for her after her falling out with her mother, and her advice became invaluable to her. The one area where they made little progress was in Janet's view of her parents; though Ms. Platt tried to help her view her parents through a more sympathetic perspective, Janet was firm in her belief that they had essentially abandoned her and David.

Janet was just preparing to go into her senior year when the family lost their only source of income, as Shelley was laid off. At Ms. Platt's urging, Janet had signed up for the bare minimum amount of classes needed to graduate, as they both hoped that cutting down on her school hours would help her to find time to fit everything in and maybe get some more sleep on the side. (High school isn't college: not many subjects could be dropped, and I very much doubt a counselor would recommend it, especially since Janet wants to go to college.) Instead, Janet found herself scrambling to get a job herself, which she managed at a nearby McDonald's, and what extra time she thought she might have vanished. Though her mother managed to find some temporary work as well, it wasn't enough to get the family through, so Janet found herself as her family's primary financial supporter. (No. Once again, someone's going to notice. This is going to make social services very curious.) Janet did, however, manage to raise her GPA during this time; the easier classes she was taking helped her raise her overall GPA to just over 3.0. (The last semester will not change your GPA that notably. The GPA is a summary of your entire school career, and one semester is only 1/8 of that.)

Things were especially difficult for Janet during basketball season, once her favorite time of the year, but her coach and Ms. Platt both urged her not to drop the sport. (I find it hard to believe that Janet would be encouraged to drop classes but not to drop basketball.) As exhausting as it was, the move paid off. Though Janet would never be the team captain--she had no extra time to devote to the sport, and one of the other girls was more liked and respected anyway--she was still one of the team's best players, and her efforts did not go unnoticed. Janet was rewarded with a basketball scholarship to the University of Washington, and combined with the financial aid she received her schooling was going to be completely paid for and then some. Once she got out of high school, she was finally going to be in a stable financial position, at least for a while. She plans to study Kinesiology in preparation for a career in physical therapy, an idea she got through the physical therapy treatments David had to go through.

Advantages: Janet is an athlete and possesses a lot of strength, speed, and endurance. She is determined, independent, and experienced with dealing with exhaustion and lack of sleep.
Disadvantages: Because so much of her time was devoted to taking care of David, Janet does not have many close friends at her school any more. Her height and strength could be intimidating to potential allies. (That's not really an disadvantage. In fact, where attracting allies are concerned, I'm pretty sure looking intimidating would actually be a bonus, because people would want people that don't look weak with them. Try and find one, preferably two more advantages. Her advantages are pretty strong, so she really does need some more weaknesses to balance it out besides 'difficulty in finding allies.')

Okay, so here's the issue with this profile as a whole. Janet isn't really a character. She's a series of awful events and one character trait, that trait being determined. It's not enough for a full character. You're going to have to really scale back the drama and flesh out Janet as a person. Because right now I barely know who Janet is. Who is she? How does she act? Who does she talk with? How does she view the world? What does she do for fun besides sports? What classes does she like and which ones does she dislike? None of this is answered at all.

So, key points that need improvement on:

- Needs extended family. Because right now they just don't exist, and this is the sort of situation where they really have to be noted.
- Tone down the abuse and awful events a lot.
- To replace the drama that should be taken out, expand on Janet as a person.

I know it's a lot of change, but with some work you can make Janet into a much better character. Make the required changes, post when you're done and feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff.
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