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| Ethan Johnson; Take two of the application | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 6 2013, 10:52 AM (312 Views) | |
| Hunt11 | Jan 6 2013, 10:52 AM Post #1 |
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Cannon Fodder
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Name: Ethan Johnson Gender: Male Age: 18 Grade: 12th Grade School: Aurora High School Hobbies and Interests: Football, working out, and military history. Appearance: Ethan stands at 6’1 and weighs 205 pounds, and has a very broad muscular build. Due to his constant training Ethan almost always stands up straight, but as he starts to tire Ethan will often start to slouch. Ethan is a slightly tanned Caucasian male. He has a very broad face with wide brown eyes underneath unusually thick eyebrows. However the most defining feature of his face is his nose, which due to a fight remains permanently crooked. Ethan has very short straight black hair, and almost permanent stubble on his chin. Ethan always wears a plain t-shirt, a pair of jeans and some well-worn sneakers, but due to how bad the weather can get in Seattle he often has a jacket tied around his waist. The only personal item he wears is a small wooden cross that hangs off a leather string. On the day of the abduction Ethan was wearing blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt, and slightly worn white sneakers. Biography: Ethan was born to Judith Wilson and Wallace Johnson in the city of Boston. His father taught at the local high school, and his mom worked as a secretary for a large law firm. Due to both his parents working for long hours he was often left with the couple next door, Mr. and Mrs. Robertson. At first, Ethan found it difficult to be away from his parents for such a large portion of the day. He would often be a complete brat, much to the chagrin of the Robertsons and their son Jack. However, as time wore on, Ethan adapted to staying with the Robertsons to the point that Ethan started to view them as his second family. Mr. Robertson was a minister at the local Protestant church, and through his teachings (There should be a comma here.) installed within Ethan a firm belief in God, and that one should always try to do the right thing. This worried his parents, as due to being atheists they worried that it might encourage Ethan to be intolerant of others As Ethan grew up his parents were thankful that Ethan never displayed any sort of religious intolerance, but on the inside it was a slightly different story. For while Ethan accepted the fact that he had different beliefs then those of his parents, he did find it harder to relate with his parents, marking the first division that would eventually separate the family. The Robertsons' son, Jack, became Ethan’s closest friend, even though they were almost complete opposites of each other. Jack was loud and confident, which contrasted with Ethan’s more quite and withdrawn personality. Still, they came to view each other as brothers. Jack and Ethan would do almost everything together, from playing in local Little League to playing video games. When they finally become old enough to go to kindergarten they got lucky and were in the same class. While Ethan had been able to find his place at school, he had yet to really find one at home. Though he loved both of his parents, Ethan always felt hurt that his parents had been more worried about their careers then finding time to raise their only son. It all came to a head when Ethan called Mr. Robertson Dad after coming home from school. His father heard this conversation and ignored it, believing it was just a slip of the tongue. However, for the next week the pattern repeated, forcing Mr. Johnson to realize that his son was being serious. Ethan no longer considered Wallace as his father. This pained him greatly as he realized that he had become like his own father who never had time for Wallace as he grew up, so he sought a way to remedy the situation. He struggled to find some way to connect with Ethan, as most of the ordinary ways Mister Robertson was already covering, but ironically enough it would be from watching TV that the father and son would start to bond. Whilst Wallace was watching a show about the Battle of Britain, Ethan sat down next to his father and started to badger him with questions about said conflict. At first Ethan’s interest was based on the conflict appearing cool to him, however as he grew older and he began to understand more of history, the idea of fighting to preserve what was most important to an individual appealed to him. So it become a weekly occasion to watch some history show about warfare together, installing within Ethan a lifetime passion for almost all things related with history. Through elementary and middle school Ethan did ok in school, for while he loved history it never extended to a universal passion for school in general, but his real love was sports. With Jack, Ethan was always out playing sports, for unlike school he truly felt alive when he was pushing his body to the limit. The only issue came when Jack would start to run his mouth when talking to the other team, as while he could talk tough, he lacked the body to back it up. It reached a breaking point where at age of thirteen after playing in an intense game of football, where Jack had been unusually mouthy that he was attacked by some of the players on the other team after the game. They attacked Jack as he was walking home after the game, but Ethan seeing Jack in peril launched himself into the fight to defend Jack, as what had been a straight out fight dissolved into a brutal brawl. Even with Ethan’s being much larger then most of the boys his age, Ethan and Jack were hurt badly with Ethan’s nose being severely broken. Finally feeling happy about the damage they inflicted the gang fled the scene, forcing the pair to support each other as they struggled to the hospital. All four parents were horrified about what had happened, but due to feeling ashamed at having lost, Jack and Ethan were unwilling to tell who exactly had done this to them, so the gang was never punished. The only physical lasting effect of the fight was Ethan’s nose being permanently crooked, for the doctor decided that it would be best for the nose to heal naturally, but when it refused to realign Ethan refused the operation. Ethan wanted a permanent reminder of how he had failed to protect his best friend when he needed it the most. His parents tried to push it, but upon seeing how strongly he felt about it they eventually relented Whilst Ethan was recovering in the hospital, the Robertson’s had finally finished preparing to leave on a religious mission to Ethiopia. Though they had originally wanted to tell Ethan when they first starting to plan for it, Jack convinced them to keep Ethan in the dark as he didn’t want his remaining time with his friends to resolve around the fact that he would soon be gone. So the first news Ethan heard as he left the hospital was that in two days his closest friend would soon be gone. Though he knew that he had nothing to do with the Robertson’s departure, to Ethan it subconsciously felt that Jack had left because of him After saying goodbye to Jack at the airport Ethan found a present on his bed from Jack. Opening it up Ethan found a small wooden cross necklace that Jack had left for him, and so from that day forward Ethan would always wear that cross as a reminder of the brother that he had basically lost. Thanks to the rise of the Internet Ethan kept in contact with the Robertsons but while it keeps their close bond strong, it made Jack’s absence even worse, as Ethan was constantly reminded of Jacks absence. Ethan started high school with a group of friends, but he still felt the absence of his close friend greatly. He continued the same patterns in terms of effort, as while his grades were okay, the only place he ever shone was in History. Even though Ethan had stopped being on a sports team, he constantly went to the gym, where he pushed himself to get even stronger. His life had settled into a dull rhythm that was shattered upon his mother’s new promotion. Due to her years of hard work Judith was offered a promotion to work as a secretary for one of the executive directors of the firm over in Seattle. The only member of the family who objected to this move was Ethan who in the months leading up to the move was constantly arguing with his parents, once again driving a wedge between Ethan and his parents. So at the end of his freshman year the entire family moved into the city of Seattle. Hoping to find someway to keep Ethan occupied his parents brought him a gym membership for the local gym and vocally encouraged Ethan to go their regularly. He initially resisted, but in time Ethan began to enjoy the time outside of the house and the structure that it gave his life. While at the gym Ethan would occasionally run into Coach Lomelli, who upon hearing that Ethan was going to attend Aurora High, started to actively push Ethan to join the football team. Though hesitant at first Ethan eventually agreed to at least come to try outs and see how he liked the team. Eventually the summer vacation came to an end and Ethan started his sophomore year at Aurora High. Keeping his promise Ethan attended football tryouts and made the team as a defensive lineman. Happy that he had been able to find a place to fit in, Ethan started to push himself as hard as he could to help the team. Due to being part of the team Ethan’s grades suffered, as his report card once filled with a mixture of high Bs with a constant A in history had a mix of low Bs, with history dropping down to the high B range as well. Worried about this development, as while he only needed to maintain a 2.5 GPA they hoped that Ethan would be able to go to college based on his grades, so his parents tried to talk to Ethan, but still feeling bitter about the move Ethan just stood up and left the room. This lead to a month-long fight between the family that only ended when his parents threatened Ethan that they would force him to quit the team if his grades were to ever drop. Scared of being forced off the team Ethan promised that it would never happen, and so an uneasy peace filled the house that has lasted to this day as through hard work he has managed to maintain a GPA of 3.2. No longer feeling happy with his parents, Ethan has come to depend on his friends as a means of support to not only cover for the family that he no longer feels a part of, but for his brother that could no longer be with him. At school Ethan can often be seen hanging out with the football team, whether it is eating lunch together or going to the occasional party. For the most part he is content with his current lifestyle, but his overly trusting nature has led to issues with those who he considers his friends. The more cruel members of the team love using him as the fall guy if they ever mess up, and unfortunately for Ethan he just takes this abuse, for even though he subconsciously knows he is not to blame, he is terrified that if he says the truth, then he will lose the friends that he has. Outside of school Ethan continues to work part time at the construction company, using the money to fund his life-style with a small amount set aside for college, for even if he doesn’t get drafted he still wants to continue his education. Advantages: Due to his constant work out regime Ethan’s body is built for power and endurance which allows him to push his body a lot further then an average kid of his age. Through constantly playing sports Ethan has learned how to be a team player, making it much easier for him to work well once within the group. Disadvantages: Ethan depends on the recognition of others, making him vulnerable to manipulation to those who he, possibly mistakenly, views as friends. Due to said reliance on his friends, Ethan is likely to react badly if anything should happen to them as while they remain alive he will willingly sacrifice himself for the team; however if he should fail to protect them Ethan is liable to have an emotional breakdown as he would believe that he had failed his friends once more when it really mattered. Edited by Hunt11, Jan 11 2013, 02:21 PM.
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Current Characters Ethan Johnson If you notice anything about my posts that could be improved on, feel free to PM me. Spoiler: click to toggle
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| BetaKnight | Jan 15 2013, 01:08 AM Post #2 |
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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Ethan is temporarily DENIED pending adjustments. There are spelling errors and punctuation errors in the profile that need to be addressed, and a few things need to be fleshed out/expanded upon more before Ethan can be approved. Appearance: Ethan stands at 6’1 and weighs 205 pounds, and has a very broad muscular build. (I think there's supposed to be a comma in there.) Ethan always wears a plain t-shirt, a pair of jeans and some well-worn sneakers, but due to how bad the weather can get in Seattle he often has a jacket tied around his waist. The only personal item he wears is a small wooden cross that hangs off a leather string. (What colors of plain t-shirt and what kind of sneakers? What kind of jacket is worn at his waist? These details, while small, help other handlers create a better picture of Ethan.) Due to both his parents working for long hours he was often left with the couple next door, Mr. and Mrs. Robertson. At first, Ethan found it difficult to be away from his parents for such a large portion of the day. He would often be a complete brat, much to the chagrin of the Robertsons and their son Jack. However, as time wore on, Ethan adapted to staying with the Robertsons to the point that Ethan started to view them as his second family. Mr. Robertson was a minister at the local Protestant church, and through his teachings (There should be a comma here.) installed within Ethan a firm belief in God, and that one should always try to do the right thing. This worried his parents, as due to being atheists they worried that it might encourage Ethan to be intolerant of others As Ethan grew up his parents were thankful that Ethan never displayed any sort of religious intolerance, but on the inside it was a slightly different story. For while Ethan accepted the fact that he had different beliefs then those of his parents, he did find it harder to relate with his parents, marking the first division that would eventually separate the family. Okay, problems here: The red text is left over from edit I did on Ethan the last time he was submitted. Secondly, the light blue section is missing punctuation between sentences. Third, since this happens at the very beginning of the bio and without a stated age, I'm assuming here that this is all Ethan before he's in kindergarten. At what age was he left with the neighbors? Also, small children do tend to behave poorly when placed in new, unfamiliar surroundings. I'm sort of confused as to Ethan's parents concerns since their child doesn't seem to be developing religious beliefs so much as he's developing a moral compass. If they were that concerned, why are they leaving their son with a minister and his wife? Why isn't Ethan in some kind of secular daycare? And I'm not sure how may pre-K kids are cognizant that they have different religious beliefs than their parents, let alone cognizant enough to divide the family. This is the start of a trend where Ethan's personal timeline gets a bit iffy because there aren't a lot of definitive markers in it. In fact, the very next paragraph of the profile has all of this happening before Ethan and Jack were even in kindergarten. While Ethan had been able to find his place at school, he had yet to really find one at home. Though he loved both of his parents, Ethan always felt hurt that his parents had been more worried about their careers then finding time to raise their only son. It all came to a head when Ethan called Mr. Robertson Dad after coming home from school. His father heard this conversation and ignored it, believing it was just a slip of the tongue. However, for the next week the pattern repeated, forcing Mr. Johnson to realize that his son was being serious. Ethan no longer considered Wallace as his father. This pained him greatly as he realized that he had become like his own father who never had time for Wallace as he grew up, so he sought a way to remedy the situation. He struggled to find some way to connect with Ethan, as most of the ordinary ways Mister Robertson was already covering, but ironically enough it would be from watching TV that the father and son would start to bond. Whilst Wallace was watching a show about the Battle of Britain, Ethan sat down next to his father and started to badger him with questions about said conflict. At first Ethan’s interest was based on the conflict appearing cool to him, however as he grew older and he began to understand more of history, the idea of fighting to preserve what was most important to an individual appealed to him. So it become a weekly occasion to watch some history show about warfare together, installing within Ethan a lifetime passion for almost all things related with history. (This is more of that timeline issue, because as the profile is currently written, it sounds like this all happened with Ethan being in kindergarten. Since this is the basis for the military history hobby, it's also not current and very underdeveloped. Ethan's hobby is military history. There is very little discussion of what it is about military history that appeals to Ethan as a teenager, what events in military history or people are his favorites, and why he enjoys it other than "it bonded him with his dad".) Through elementary and middle school Ethan did ok (okay) in school, for while he loved history it never extended to a universal passion for school in general, but his real love was sports. It reached a breaking point where at age of thirteen after playing in an intense game of football, where Jack had been unusually mouthy that he was attacked by some of the players on the other team after the game. They attacked Jack as he was walking home after the game, but Ethan seeing Jack in peril launched himself into the fight to defend Jack, as what had been a straight out fight dissolved into a brutal brawl. Even with Ethan’s being much larger then (than) most of the boys his age, Ethan and Jack were hurt badly with Ethan’s nose being severely broken. (I have a question. Is this a school team or a private team? Because if this is the middle school's football team, the boys shouldn't be walking home from the game. The school would arrange transportation from their school to the site of the game, and then back again. For rival players to have jumped Ethan and Jack, this would have had to occurred where school staff could have seen or been aware of this after the fact.) The only physical lasting effect of the fight was Ethan’s nose being permanently crooked, for the doctor decided that it would be best for the nose to heal naturally, but when it refused to realign Ethan refused the operation. Ethan wanted a permanent reminder of how he had failed to protect his best friend when he needed it the most. His parents tried to push it, but upon seeing how strongly he felt about it they eventually relented (Lack of punctuation. Also, how did Ethan fail to protect Jack? Ethan's the one permanently disfigured? I see nothing about Jack having any sort of long-lasting injuries.) Whilst Ethan was recovering in the hospital, the Robertson’s had finally finished preparing to leave on a religious mission to Ethiopia. Though they had originally wanted to tell Ethan when they first starting to plan for it, Jack convinced them to keep Ethan in the dark as he didn’t want his remaining time with his friends to resolve around the fact that he would soon be gone. So the first news Ethan heard as he left the hospital was that in two days his closest friend would soon be gone. Though he knew that he had nothing to do with the Robertson’s departure, to Ethan it subconsciously felt that Jack had left because of him After saying goodbye (Again, lack of punctuation) to Jack at the airport Ethan found a present on his bed from Jack. Opening it up Ethan found a small wooden cross necklace that Jack had left for him, and so from that day forward Ethan would always wear that cross as a reminder of the brother that he had basically lost. Thanks to the rise of the Internet Ethan kept in contact with the Robertsons but while it keeps their close bond strong, it made Jack’s absence even worse, as Ethan was constantly reminded of Jacks absence. (Ethan has essentially been abandoned by his 'second family', who didn't even think enough of him to inform him about this major change in all their lives. How does Ethan feel about this? How long will the Robertsons be gone? What sort of lasting impact has this had on him? Also, I find it very hard to believe that Ethan has absolutely no clue, considering these people appear to be his primary care providers, that this family was planning on moving out of the country. They didn't sell anything or put anything into storage? They didn't arrange to have a new minister fill in while Mr. Roberts was gone? They didn't talk to Jack's teachers to inform them about the move? They didn't have to get passports and all sorts of immunizations because they were moving out of the country? They didn't try to learn any of the languages spoken in Ethiopia? Or all this happened, but Ethan, their 'other' son, somehow didn't see any of it? This seems a bit unlikely.) Ethan started high school with a group of friends, but he still felt the absence of his close friend greatly. He continued the same patterns in terms of effort, as while his grades were okay, the only place he ever shone was in History. (Is not a proper noun) Even though Ethan had stopped being on a sports team, he constantly went to the gym, where he pushed himself to get even stronger. Hoping to find someway (some way) to keep Ethan occupied his parents brought him a gym membership for the local gym and vocally encouraged Ethan to go their (there) regularly. He initially resisted, but in time Ethan began to enjoy the time outside of the house and the structure that it gave his life. Outside of school Ethan continues to work part time at the construction company, using the money to fund his life-style with a small amount set aside for college, for even if he doesn’t get drafted he still wants to continue his education. (What construction company? OSHA rules are very specific about minors working construction. What type of work does Ethan do? How long has he worked for this company? What is the name of this company? With his parents so concerned about him getting good grades to attend college, why does Ethan have to save his money for school? And as a senior this late into the school year, he should have a really good idea about whether or not he’s been drafted by any schools to play football for them.) Okay, that should do it for now. You know the drill. |
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| MurderWeasel | Jan 29 2013, 05:21 PM Post #3 |
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
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This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff. |
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3:57 AM Jul 11