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| Caroline "Carrie" Foster; [No pregame, but I hope that's alright] | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 10 2012, 10:54 PM (281 Views) | |
| PiFace314 | Dec 10 2012, 10:54 PM Post #1 |
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Cannon Fodder
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Name: Caroline “Carrie” Foster Gender: Female Age: 19 Grade: 12th School: Aurora High School Hobbies and Interests: Cats, Giving Advice, Newspaper Class, Knitting and Needlework Club Appearance: Carrie is a mere 5’0, weighing 100 pounds. As such, her frame is flat and her body petite. She has high cheekbones that seem to mirror the high arch of her eyebrows, pencil-thin due to meticulous plucking. These eyebrows make her seem perpetually surprised, an assumption only aided by rounded blue eyes that seem too large for her face. Her nose is what one might call a button nose, short and round to accompany her rounded face. Her complexion is very white, due to her mixed American, Spanish and Filipino heritage. Her black hair is always styled in a simple braid going down her back until it reaches her waist, tied with a ribbon colored to match her clothes. Carrie is always meticulous in taking care of appearance, using only herbal shampoo and wooden combs to keep her hair neat and tidy. Her clothing is all hand-made, usually consisting of a garishly colored sweater in hues that don’t match, woolen skirts and a pair of Crocs. She also wears overly large glasses lacking a grade. On the day of the trip Carrie was wearing her favorite green and purple sweater with a light green polo shirt underneath and a white woolen skirt, all hand-made. She was wearing forest green Crocs as footwear. Biography: Carrie was prematurely born to Henry Foster and Elena Magallanes Foster. Her father was the head of Foster and Drummond Insurance, a minor but rapidly growing insurance corporation amongst the middle class in Macon, Georgia. Her mother was a mestiza (Filipino of Spanish descent) woman Henry met during a trip to the Philippines, working at a bar as a waitress in . At the age of three she was suddenly sent to live with her grandmother Charlene Foster in Washington, due to accusations that she was the illegitimate child of Elena and Terrence Drummond. Despite the accusations that Carrie wasn’t her real grandchild, Charlene always treated Carrie as her own flesh and blood. The elderly woman was mild-mannered and polite, but always worried about Carrie. From a young age it was obvious that Carrie would never grow tall, and with that came the fear that she would be bullied. So she was sent to school a year late, which gave her enough time to learn to love the cozy home, fluffy cats and benevolent environment that surrounded her. In her first three months of school, Carrie was often mocked because of her clothing. Her grandmother’s eyesight was fairly poor, but she still insisted on making all of Carrie’s clothes herself on the grounds that such clothes would be cheaper and more comfortable than those bought in a store. However, the timely intervention of Robby and Dana, two other children in her class, brought all bullying to a stop. As she grew, they became her best and closest friends. Throughout elementary school Carrie’s grandmother realized that her deteriorating eyesight was making it very difficult to create her granddaughter’s clothing, and so decided to teach her how to do this herself. It was a skill Carrie picked up quite easily, and a hobby that she enjoyed. While most of her peers were running around on the playground, Carrie would quietly sit at the side and knit little presents for them. It began with pouches and purses, but as more and more classmates began to appreciate the quality of her work it turned into a little part-time job, with Carrie working and her two friends helping to deliver and receive the cash. As Carrie entered middle school, complaints about her knitting began to pile up. It turned out that the complaint wasn’t with quality, but with coloration. What were advertised as blue knits were actually green, and what were meant to be yellow hats ended up being a particularly horrible shade of violet. After a few talks with disgruntled students and a few bewildered parents, Carrie was formally tested and discovered to have tritanopia, or blue-green color blindness. As a joke, a classmate gave her a pair of oversized plastic Harry Potter glasses to help her vision. Carrie liked them so much she kept them. When first entering high school, Carrie felt that because she enjoyed knitting so much, it ought to be shared with the rest of her classmates. She formed the Knitting and Needlework Club in freshman year, which at first consisted only of her and a few friends. However, those friends would bring gossip or rants to her at the beginning of each session, and as they knitted and stitched for an hour Carrie would think and dispense advice with the quiet air of someone fifty or so years older, a side effect of having her grandmother as the only true adult influence in her life. During Carrie’s sophomore year of high school, the resident advice columnist at the school newspaper graduated, freeing up the position. She was immediately nominated for the position of advice columnist, and the column name was changed to “Chat with Carrie”. Anonymous or named letters were sent to her school locker and answered in the weekly newsletter, and thanks to this Carrie gained a reputation for bringing couples together and brightening the mood in the halls. She’s now fairly respected for her advice, if not for her choice in clothing. Still, despite her love for her grandmother and her home in Washington, Carrie continues to miss her parents. They visit once a year during Christmas, but while Carrie’s mother is always welcoming and excited to see Carrie, her father is often cold and aloof. Christmas dinner is often a very silent night for Carrie, and the silence continues until New Year’s Eve, when her parents depart. Personality-wise, Carrie is most often described as wise beyond her years. She speaks very softly, even when demanding hard work and maximum effort. However, she’s soft at heart, and dislikes forcing people to do things they don’t want to do. This is part of why her club functions so well. She’s also very shrewd despite her kind demeanor, and doesn’t take kindly to threats aimed at her friends. One notable incident occurred in her sophomore year shortly after taking up the position of advice columnist. Despite her heartfelt advice, a girl rejected the advances of the boy who had written to Chat with Carrie, and he subsequently sent threatening letters to Carrie’s locker, claiming he would ruin her business and physically hurt Dana and Robbie. Carrie retaliated by publishing the letters in the next Chat with Carrie column changing all names, and advising that the author of said letter check himself into a mental institution. The young man dropped out of school from shame, which made Carrie realize that even outbursts like this were dangerous. She therefore resolved to be a pacifist, both physically and emotionally. Academically, Carrie has high grades, although not the highest in class. Her strongest subjects are English and Home Economics with an A in both, and her A- or slightly lower grades are achieved through quiet study. Her usual group, besides her close friends, consist of her knitting and crocheting club. All 15 girls and boys are from very different backgrounds and with different personalities, tentatively united by the calming nature of needlework. However, Carrie’s knitting business has been growing from a quiet one- girl operation to a fairly profitable business within the halls of Aurora High. The Knitting and Needlework Club is not only a network of tentative friends, but also a hard working operation making over $20,000 of profit per month. Using her background in managing this business in tandem with her friends, Carrie has managed to earn a scholarship to the University of Georgia. Carrie sees this as a chance to reunite with her parents, and perhaps mend the rift between herself and her father. Advantages: Carrie has never attracted enemies, mostly because those around her who could have been enemies either ignored her or merely mocked her. Her time as an advice columnist may also enable her to make level-headed and rational decisions as well as keep a cool head, a handy skill in combat. Her skill with knitting, crocheting and sewing could give her an advantage in terms of hand-eye coordination and trap-making ability. Disadvantages: Her tritanopia could potentially make the identification of objects difficult, if locating the ocean is ever an issue. She is also a pacifist, which will make survival very difficult. Her small frame also makes her an easy target for anyone even mildly athletic or possessed of the will to kill. Edited by PiFace314, Dec 22 2012, 02:59 PM.
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| MurderWeasel | Dec 22 2012, 01:05 PM Post #2 |
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
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Hiya, PiFace! Welcome to SOTF! Carrie's profile is a pretty good start, but she is DENIED pending some fairly notable revision. To start with, at Aurora the student newspaper is a class, not a club. That allows it better support and teacher supervision. Next off, I'm having an issue with Carrie's weight. 85 pounds is very underweight for someone of her height. Unless she's got some kind of eating disorder, I'd like to see that bumped to at least 95, maybe even more like 100. I'd also like more description of Carrie. What's her build like? How are her teeth? How much care does she take regarding personal hygiene? This is especially important with super long hair; it takes a very long time to take proper care of waist-length hair, and a failure to spend adequate time on that tends to be rather immediately evident. Quotes, like “ghost-like”, aren't really formal enough for a bio's tone, and also aren't particularly descriptive. Why is Carrie so pale, especially given her presumed Filipino heritage? What is Carrie's ethnicity, at that? Moving on, I've got a few issues with Carrie's bio. What do you mean when you say her mother was a homemaker? Why was Carrie sent away based on suspicions, when paternity tests are quite available and easily within the reach of people in her father's economic bracket? Who really is her father? How did her mother feel about this? Does she have any siblings? Holding Carrie back a year seems an unusual choice, since being older than one's classmates makes a student stand out more, and often can lead to bullying as the student is assumed to have been held back. Why did Carrie's grandmother pick this route? Did Carrie go to preschool? How were her experiences there if she did? Also, where is Carrie's grandfather? Carrie's grandmother's motivations again don't make much sense when it comes to home-making Carrie's clothing. Thrift stores are plentiful and offer clothing at very inexpensive prices, far below home-making clothing. In fact, making your own clothing can be really, really expensive depending on the materials. What did Robby and Dana do to stop the bullying? What did the teachers think of it? At what age did Carrie start selling creations? Most elementary schools frown very heavily on inter-student commerce, and flat out forbid it. Color blindness isn't, to my knowledge, something that can be corrected with glasses. It's also something that would have been discovered much earlier, as color identification is part of the early curriculum at elementary schools. I've got a slight concern depending on the style of advice Carrie gives in the school newspaper. While Dear Abby type stuff can be fun, in a small student populace it run the risk of becoming a lot less anonymous in a hurry. Has Carrie ever had problems with that? How does she deal with things of the sort? I'm having issues with Carrie only seeing her parents once a year. For seeing them, that works fine, but how often does she communicate with them? Phone calls and email are very easily available, so she could be in contact with them every day if she wanted. Also, if their relationship is so bad, why don't they get divorced? Carrie's reaction to the threatening letters would never, ever fly in a school setting. She'd likely wind up in serious trouble for trying to publish it if he didn't let the teacher sponsor know who wrote it, and either way it would certainly end in a major incident. Also, Robby is spelled as "Robbie" here; it should be consistent throughout the bio. I also want to know more about Robby and Dana, since they're so important to Carrie. (A side note: I have a sneaking suspicion you may be planning to make Robby and Dana as your other characters. While there is no rule against doing so, I highly recommend against it personally. The quality of characters almost always suffers when a handler is writing with themself, and having connected characters can make you appear less inviting to RP with. I've only seen one handler pull off connected character with grace. If you're worried your kids won't have any friends, you can start a thread here, even before they are approved, to get stuff worked out. Again, none of this is rules stuff, just advice from long personal experience.) Numerals, like 15, should be spelled, like fifteen. I'd like to know a bit more about Carrie and school. Does it come easily to her? Does she struggle in any classes? I'm a bit worried about a couple things with Carrie's knitting club. As currently described, it sounds a little bit like a cult of personality, which I'm pretty sure isn't what you're trying for. The issue is, it sounds like the other students rely upon and confide in Carrie to an extreme degree. All school clubs need teacher sponsors, usually in the room, so any really personal advice would be better dispensed in a one on one setting (especially since that also lets people not share their secrets with everyone else in the room). The profit for Carrie's business is way, way overblown. To crunch the numbers, $20,000 per month is $240,000 per year. That's a quarter million dollars in profit; more than most small businesses with full time employees. Knitting is fun, but it's no road to riches; I had a family friend who was working on full-time knitting who was lucky to pull in $200 in profit per month, and that was through travelling to festivals to sell. Also, as a school-based club, there'd be all sorts of questions involving distribution of money and the like. Basically, I'm not really comfortable with knitting being anything beyond a hobby with maybe some light sales. As a managed business, it violates all kinds of school rules as it makes the school liable for many of its issues, and thus wouldn't be allowed. Keeping a cool head in relationship discussions is very different from keeping a cool head when someone's shooting at you. I Carrie an overall calm person? The current justification isn't really selling me on her being useful as such in the game. Also, I can't see how knitting would help with trap-making of hand-eye coordination of a sort useful in combat. Much like video games, the hand-eye coordination given by craft hobbies is largely specific to them. Traps would require either ingenuity or some knowledge. Colorblindness is a very minor defect, and the ocean would typically be easily identifiable in other ways (waves, for example). I'd want to know more about Carrie's pacifism; it's only really a disadvantage if it's something that's a big enough part of her she wouldn't easily abandon it, even with her own life majorly on the line. Finally, Carrie may be small, but I'd like to know how that would give her issues; it could actually make hiding easier. Post when you've got Carrie edited, and we'll give her another look. Thanks! |
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V7: Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki Library Vee Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki | |
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| MurderWeasel | Jan 5 2013, 11:27 PM Post #3 |
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
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This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff. |
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V7: Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki Library Vee Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki | |
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