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Cyrus White
Topic Started: Dec 3 2012, 02:01 AM (353 Views)
simpleinsanity
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Blueberry.
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Name: Cyrus White
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Helping People, Religion, Maintenance and Repair, Woodshop, Krav Maga

Appearance: Cyrus stands at an average height for his age at 5'9", weighing in similarly at 154 lbs. His physique can be considered barely athletic, being somewhat toned but not significantly muscular. His facial features can be considered smooth with very few blemishes or pimples as a result of keeping his face rather clean. His nose is button shaped, being somewhat flat and somewhat round; his face itself being slightly oval-shaped, narrowing slightly as it approaches his chin. His cheekbones aren't as high as other, more attractive men, but they're still somewhat high. He has medium length, dark brown hair that he usually keeps loose and uncombed, giving a permanent bedhead type of way to it. This goes with his dark olive skin and deep brown, almost black irises. He usually has dark circles beneath his eyes. His clothes tend to be rather simple, to minimize his time deciding what to wear. This usually consists of a dark green overshirt and a solid black or white undershirt. He also owns multiple pairs of the same dark blue jeans, using the same brown leather belt every time. Another thing he tends to keep simple is his shoes, owing to the fact that he only owns two pairs of brown sneakers and some black dress shoes. He tends to wear thick leather gloves very often, in case he comes across something in need of repair. On the day of abduction he was wearing his usual, everyday clothing with a white undershirt. He had his gloves on his person, but they weren't being worn at the time.

Biography: Cyrus White was born to two Mormon teenagers on July 29th, 1994 in the Bay Ridge neighborhood of Brooklyn, New York at the Lutheran Medical Center. His parents were Gabriel White, 18, and Soraya Haddad, 17. Soraya died in childbirth, and Cyrus inherited her skin tone, hair color, and eyes, while gaining his father's features.

Gabriel and Soraya's parents moved to Brooklyn for financial opportunities; Gabriel's upper middle-class family coming from Utah, whereas Soraya's lower middle-class coming from a Jordanian immigrant family. The two met in school, both sharing a common ground in having moved to Brooklyn from out of state. While they were born to somewhat devout Mormon parents, Gabriel and Soraya didn't take their faith seriously at all, skipping church and drinking alcohol. After dating for three months, the two had sex. A month afterward, Soraya missed her period. The two immediately bought a pregnancy test and it came up positive. Faced with the reality of parenthood, they told their parents almost immediately. After being forced to get a job, Gabriel became a stocker for a Costco warehouse in Queens, trying to get a job where he'd have to interact with the public as little as possible. After one month, the parents began to arrange their marriage, making it as inexpensive as possible while still keeping it in a temple. Three months later, they were married in the LDS Church for time and eternity. After four months, Cyrus White was born via a caesarean section after Soraya suffered from a large amount of bleeding from her uterus. The doctors were unable to stop the bleeding and Soraya died without seeing her eighteenth birthday. After his birth, the Haddad family cut off all connections with Gabriel and his family, blaming them for the death of their daughter.

Cyrus had a rather isolated childhood outside of the few children he knew from the church, spending more time studying basic math and language arts than socializing, which reflected positively on his grades, grammar, and vocabulary. Whenever his father was at work, he stayed at his grandparents' house in the more LDS-friendly Sunset Park neighborhood. They taught him of his faith, causing Cyrus to become fairly religious himself, constantly going to church with them whenever there were any events. Although his father isolated himself from the local Mormon community by living with Cyrus in a separate neighborhood, he allowed his son to be taken to church functions. Despite his age, Cyrus was relatively well behaved, rarely screaming or throwing tantrums. By third grade, he had begun to take an interest in taking his small amount of toys apart, seeing how they work. His father didn't seem to notice this, aside from the stray screw lying around. This caused him to run into some problems at school, occasionally getting in trouble whenever caught tinkering with his desk and chair. He was suspended near the beginning of fourth grade for taking a screwdriver to school. He made a case for himself, saying that he had only used it for tightening the screws on his desk, which was not necessarily a lie, considering this was all he had done in the fourth grade. Though backing his son after being suspended, his father otherwise was unable to give Cyrus much attention. He had begun to bury himself in his work, attempting to promote to a higher-paying position. He was haunted by the fact that he wasn't able to give his son any attention; he felt that he wasn't there for Cyrus. After rising to a higher position after working at Costco for nine years, he requested a transfer to a nicer, safer, more affordable city. He got this change a month after Cyrus was baptized, in fourth grade.

At age 9, Cyrus and his father moved to a cheaper neighborhood in Seattle, Washington, where Gabriel could keep his position at Costco, using his savings to buy a nicer apartment for less than his Brooklyn one. As an upside to Cyrus, more Mormons began moving to Seattle in the late 2000s, filling in the local temples. Unfortunately, none seemed to go to his school. In elementary school, his academics progressed as a result of his constant studying of math and language in New York, which he continued. After enrolling in middle school, he was put into the honors language arts class, where he kept socializing to a minimum to focus on his studies. As students interacted with others, he began overhearing some avoiding talking about their obvious problems. He continued this behavior up to eighth grade, at which point he began to socialize a bit, attempting to help those he knew had problems that needed sorting out. Cyrus was able to help many other students with their social lives, occasionally getting them to dislike him based off the fact that he was eavesdropping, despite the fact that he was only attempting to help. He didn't take any of this to heart, and even while being disrespected by other students he was able to keep a calm head, thinking they were just being overly dramatic. Even though his actions alienated him from some, he was respected by others, being there for them when no one else was. It was also when they arrived in Seattle that he began to take some martial arts classes, thinking that sooner or later he may need to defend himself when his words fail him. He had chosen Krav Maga because is seemed the only one that had focused solely on self-defense, and not on rituals and self-control like Eastern martial arts. He also had chosen an accelerated class, one that focused more on moving forward, forcing Cyrus to keep in pace with the entire class and learning at a faster pace. He progressed quickly like the other students, doing only slightly above average in sparring. After he joined the class, he devoted about half an hour of his time at home to honing techniques on striking. When it came time for promotion, he would try as hard as he could to keep his mind only focused on that task. In doing so, he was able to be quick and precise in the techniques he was taught, quickly moving up in his class. He is currently a green belt.

During this time, Cyrus began to learn about repairing appliances and structures. He constantly visited the library, checking out books on home repair, plumbing, and how to use and maintain the tools necessary. After asking his father for the money to buy a tool set, Cyrus began getting to work reading through the manuals, focusing on each section as though it were the center of the universe. After reading through the manuals, he took a class on home repair at the local home improvement warehouse. The classes were an hour a day, Monday through Wednesday. He started going at age 13, and had his father sign a waiver saying he was allowed to use tools while under adult supervision. Cyrus was able to convince his grandparents to pay for the class, explaining that it would help him later in life.

At age 14, he began high school. Coming in, he was overwhelmed by the amount of problems the new students had. He had expected of himself to be able to solve everyone's problems, something that he soon considered not possible. Cyrus became a social recluse for the first month, focusing solely on academics and repair, which had helped his grades very much, getting him relatively good grades such as A-s and B+s. It was at this time that he took woodshop, where he could put his skills in repair to good use in building birdhouses and tables. When other students took note of his ability in shop class, they began to ask him for help in making their projects. He happily obliged, and soon began helping them with personal problems once getting closer to the students. So far, his high school years have gone fairly normally, as he has not gotten into any fights and nobody has tried fighting with him. Also, among the student body, he tends to be among the least biased, never taking sides in an argument.

Cyrus' personal life is still somewhat isolated at this time, but far less than when he was a child, though his religious views have stayed the same. An odd thing about Cyrus is that he considers helping students with their problems his community service for his religion. Despite all of his religious teachings, there is one teaching he doesn't follow. This teaching is the wearing of the temple garment, which he thinks is an outdated concept. He hasn't shared this with anyone, and his father keeps the secret well. His relationship with his father, however, is another story. Cyrus respects his father, but does not exactly like him. He tends to have mild dislike toward the man, as a result of Gabriel not taking his faith seriously, as well as getting Cyrus' mother pregnant before they were married. Despite this fact, Gabriel still loves and attempts to bond with Cyrus occasionally, something that his son pushes away. Although, Cyrus dislikes his father, he speaks to his grandparents over the phone every day. They usually advise him to love and respect his father, as that is what God taught him to do. Despite his faith, Cyrus can't get over the fact that his father is nothing but a sinner and a gentile in the eyes of God. The fact that Gabriel was raised to be a member of the church and still disobeys the teachings, makes Cyrus especially angry at him. This fact has been the cause of various arguments between the two, mostly relating to how Cyrus sees his father as a disgrace to their family and Gabriel sees him as being unable to think for himself. Gabriel seems to be the only one who can cause Cyrus to actually lose his cool and get angry. Because of this, Cyrus tends to spend his personal time either fixing appliances throughout the apartment complex, walking to church, or helping other students talk about their problems. At night, he tends to stay up, either reading religious texts such as the Bible or the Book of Mormon, or reading books on home and appliance repair that he picks up from the library. He doesn't have many friends, though he is a friend to several students he has helped. These are mostly those from shop and science class, where he tends to participate in other activities with students. These interactions have made him prefer classes with more participation and less writing, though he doesn't dislike any classes outright, aside from math, which he has a mild dislike for. He has a current GPA of 3.62.

After graduation, he plans on beginning missionary work in Seattle, proselytizing others to the Mormon faith while attempting to live on his own. After the missionary work, he plans on joining a company to become a handyman, hopefully gaining enough money to buy a house. Other than this, he doesn't have anything planned.

Advantages: Excellent at keeping calm, he will be hard to break under pressure. He also is of slightly above-average academic knowledge, a result of his constant studying. He is a skilled handyman for his age and is above average in hand to hand combat.
Disadvantages: Cyrus is deeply religious, and is unlikely to harm anyone even when faced with death. He doesn't sleep much, which affects his focus and motor skills. The fact that some students already dislike him could make him a potential target on the island.
Edited by simpleinsanity, Dec 18 2012, 11:50 PM.
V5: Cyrus White
Weapon: Ice Axe
Pregame: Debates and Discourse (Main Pregame), Nox Mirabilis (Prom), Sin and Sacred Light (Before Prom)
Game: One, Two, and Three.
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MurderWeasel
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
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Hiya, simple! Before we give Cyrus a full critique, please be sure his bio conforms exactly to the template. Specifically, please be sure everything that's supposed to be in bold is. Post when you've got that done, and we'll give Cyrus a full critique. Thanks!
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
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simpleinsanity
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Blueberry.
[ * ]
Done, can't BELIEVE I did that. >_<
V5: Cyrus White
Weapon: Ice Axe
Pregame: Debates and Discourse (Main Pregame), Nox Mirabilis (Prom), Sin and Sacred Light (Before Prom)
Game: One, Two, and Three.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
MurderWeasel
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hiya, Simple! Cyrus' profile is pretty good, but he is DENIED pending some editing.

"His nose is button shaped, being somewhat flat and somewhat round; his face itself being slightly oval-shaped, narrowing slightly as it went toward his chin." would work better as "His nose is button shaped, being somewhat flat and somewhat round; his face itself being slightly oval-shaped, narrowing slightly as it approaches his chin."

What color are Cyrus' irises if they're almost black? Just a deep brown?

With Cyrus' given birthday, he'd have just turned 17 at the end of the school year, making him about a year ahead of most people his age. This doesn't really come up in his bio. I'd like to see his birthday either changed or his young age explained.

What exactly caused Soraya's death in childbirth? Deaths related to childbirth are very rare in the United States (about 550 out of 4,000,000 annually) and many of them result from complications after the birth, sometimes days after.

Who did Cyrus live with when he was young? Who took care of him when his father was at work?

Why was Cyrus initially so hesitant to socialize?

"He progresses quickly" should be "He progressed quickly"

Why is Cyrus so concerned about his father's lack of religion, but seemingly unbothered by his classmates not being devout? Is it just that his father is a family member and was actually raised Mormon?

I'd like to see more about Cyrus' pacifism and lack of sleep in his bio. I'd also like to see him have one more disadvantage to help balance stuff out.

Post when you've got Cyrus edited, and we'll give him another look. Thanks!
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
simpleinsanity
Member Avatar
Blueberry.
[ * ]
Think I'm done.
V5: Cyrus White
Weapon: Ice Axe
Pregame: Debates and Discourse (Main Pregame), Nox Mirabilis (Prom), Sin and Sacred Light (Before Prom)
Game: One, Two, and Three.
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
MurderWeasel
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hi again, Simple!

Cyrus is looking much better, but I still have a few little things I'd like to see fixed/edited:

Saraya's death still doesn't have much in the way of actual cause, just some symptoms, and since it's such a rare occurrence I'd like to know the hows and whys.

I'm still not really sure why Cyrus was so devoted to studying and so hesitant to socialize. What caused this behavior?

A few paragraphs are very, very long and should be split up into several since they cover multiple topics.

I'd still like to hear a bit more about Cyrus' sleep issues, because they don't come up anywhere in his bio. Where do they spring from? How do they affect his life?

Post when you've got Cyrus edited, and we'll give him another look. Thanks!
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
MurderWeasel
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
This character biography has had no alterations for more than two weeks and has been put in the abandoned characters forum. This profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff.
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
Offline Profile Goto Top
 
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