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| Joseph Fallows | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 25 2012, 10:47 PM (448 Views) | |
| Burke | Nov 25 2012, 10:47 PM Post #1 |
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Cannon Fodder
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Name: Joseph Fallows Gender: Male Age: 18 Grade: 12 School: Aurora High Hobbies and Interests: Fencing, Chess, Debate Team, Reading Appearance: Joseph stands at 5'8, weighing at around 155 pounds. His skin is pale, due to him spending very little time outside. He has small pale blue eyes, with thin dark brown eyebrows and short eyelashes framing them. He has straight dark brown hair, which he keeps close cropped. He has a round, but rather thin, nose. He is lean and lanky, with most his muscle being concentrated in his quadriceps and biceps. He has a rather pointed face, with a sharp chin and prominent cheekbones. Generally wears his grey Furman Paladin's hoodie (His father's Alma Mater) over various T-shirts, most of them being either purple, red, or some shade of grey, along with jeans and dark black sneakers. He always tries to stand and sit as straight as possible, often with his hands either by his sides of clasped behind his back. He keeps himself clean-shaven, most likely in an attempt to look more professional. Clothes of the day of the abduction are his grey Furman Paladin's hoodie over a plain white shirt, with dark blue jeans and his black sneakers. Biography: Joseph is the oldest child of James and Katherine Fallows. He has two younger sisters and two younger brothers, the youngest being ten years younger than himself. He seems to be some what distant with most of them, but he has a very close relationship with his sixteen year old brother, Will. He has a fairly good relationship with both his parents, though they do clash heads occasionally. He is particularly close with his father. He has lived in the Seattle area his entire life, though neither of his parents were native to the area, his father being from Georgia while his mother is from Pennsylvania. With both his parents working at the local hospital, James being a surgeon while Katherine is a RN, he spent much of his life helping raise his four younger siblings often relying on his brother Will to help keep order in the house. This responsibility in taking care of his younger siblings has often put a strain on both his social life, often making him miss out on chances to hang out with his friends. and his relationship with some of his younger siblings. He seems especially bothered by the latter, as he seems to hold his family relationships in top priority. He does fairly well in school, maintaining a 3.8 GPA throughout the majority of his high school years, but seems to put minimal effort into certain studies, most notably math, simply because he can perform easily but takes no pleasure from it. He does take interest in history, mostly of the history of Europe, and participates actively in gym. He takes pleasure from flaunting his intelligence at any opportunity, this being the main reason he enjoys chess and debate, both of which he picked up in his freshman year. While he excels in debate, being both a skilled researcher and being a natural orator, he fails to push himself in chess. While he is relatively good at chess, he does not seek any real challenge, preferring to face off against people he know he can beat and entering low level chess tournaments. He started fencing when he was seven, a hobby he picked up from his father, and favors the Épée, a heavy blade made for stabbing and slashing. He has participated in several local tournaments and has done quite well in most them, placing second in several. He spends at least one hour everyday sparring with his father, which has bonded the two greatly. He has a nice sized circle of friends, though he has been friends with most of them since they were in kindergarten. Due to his rather condescending manner, he does not make friends easily nor quickly. He has a certain disdain for those he does not deem his equal, and frequently voices this contempt. This has lead to several students taking an extreme disliking to him. He shows some romantic interest, though has yet to act on it, either out of fear or disinterest. Advantages: Joseph's years of training in fencing have given him excellent proficiency in movarietyst mid-range melee weaponry, most notably of course being long blades. His fencing has also given him quite a bit of physical endurance along with above-average agility. His time spent researching for debate has given him excellent forethought. He works extremely well under pressure, making him well suited to deal with crisises. Disadvantages: Joseph has been shown to be extremely arrogant, displaying an inability to accept defeat. Along with that, he appears to have an almost psychological need to display his superiority through both his intelligence and physical skill. Due to his rather abrasive nature, Joseph does not make friends easily. Edited by Burke, Nov 26 2012, 05:45 PM.
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| MurderWeasel | Nov 26 2012, 01:19 AM Post #2 |
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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
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Hiya, Burke! Before we give Joseph a full critique, please be sure his bio conforms exactly to the template. Specifically, please remove the extra line between his biography and his advantages. Post when you've got that done, and we'll give Joseph a full critique. Thanks! |
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V7: Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki Library Vee Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki | |
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| Burke | Nov 26 2012, 05:45 PM Post #3 |
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Cannon Fodder
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I just knew I had messed it up somehow! Anyways, it's fixed now |
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| Namira | Dec 2 2012, 02:07 PM Post #4 |
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Null sheen.
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Hey Burke. Joseph is temporarily denied. Before I elaborate further, I'm going to emphasise that the buzzword is going to be detail. There's a reasonable framework of a character here, but my main issue is that you haven't really expanded on a lot of the aspects of the character that you begin to explore. A lot of elements you've brought up only in passing have much larger implications that haven't been touched upon, so keep that in mind from the beginning. You have a few superfluous extra spaces here and there, try and delete those. It's tidier. Finally, Joseph's hobby of 'reading' doesn't appear to come up anywhere in the biography. That needs to change.
There's a lot to get through here. Please only post that you're done when you've thoroughly worked on the edits, as there's quite a lot that requires fixing. |
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| Namira | Dec 8 2012, 08:20 PM Post #5 |
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Null sheen.
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This character biography has been declared abandoned by the handler, however this profile is eligible for resubmission by the handler upon alterations requested from the staff. |
![]() SotF: Mini - SCdoes a-rolling! - PV3 Prologue ongoing! Draw Thread! - Pathfinder! - Writing Thread! Adequate summary of my personality V6 Corner V5 Kiddies V4
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