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If you ain't gettin' drunk, get the fu-; (Surgeon General's warning goes here.)
Topic Started: Jun 13 2012, 10:55 PM (5,881 Views)
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((Mallory McCormick continued from Down In The Alley... though I guess this is chronologically before it.))

"They've got more beer than he's ever seeeeen and they've got girls on trampolines~"

Mallory had filled in the ridiculously long walk to Jimmy's... Joseph's... Joey Joe Joe's... god, she was bad at names... house by singing Ludo songs to herself constantly. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to bring things, and upon going through the house for something that would help a booze party she'd only found a bag of lemons. Lemons were used in alcoholic drinks, right? Like Coke with Lemon, but alcoholic. She'd also picked up a couple of bottles of soda. No way she could afford alcohol and there'd probably be enough anyway.

"They tapped ten kegs since 9:15 and they've got girls on trampolines~!"

Oh, there's the house. And right on time, as well. Though wasn't there a concept called 'fashionably late?' Eh. Mallory wasn't fashionable so it didn't really matter, and she'd look like a right doofus malloofus standing outside until the point where arriving was fashionable.

Besides, someone was already standing at the door. That girl... no, guy... something to do with baseball, his name was, right? Nice kid, she knew that much.

"What's up, Nice Guy?" Mallory greeted him. She shifted the bag of lemons to her other hand and tried not to drop anything as she knocked on the door. Rap-tappa-tap-tap. Tap-tap.
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"Hey, Glasses Girl."

One day I will remember names. When I'm thirty or something.

Their host opened the door and welcomed them inside. Hurrah, he said his name, I no longer have to guess. I was close, anyway. He then asked if anyone wanted to play ping pong.

"Ping pong? Sure, I'm all over that shit. And I'm Mallory, by the way, I'm bad with names so I'm probably gonna forget them."

As the girly-looking guy--Glasses Girl had said his name was R.J, right?--hurried off to the bathroom, Mallory put her soda bottles and lemons on the counter as well. "Sorry, all I could get. But lemons go in alcohol, right? Or they get stuck on the rims or something, anyway, maybe that's oranges, I'm not a mixer-person."

R.J came back from the bathroom. Alright, ping pong! Ping pong was good. Whacking things and stuff.

"Eh, I'm cool with siding with whoever." Mallory picked up one of the paddles. "But sounds good."
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Mallory nodded at Claire's explanation of how to remember her name until she got to the 'judging by souls' part. That confused her a little. "But I can't see your soul so how can I guess your name from it?"

And then it was switched to beer pong. Drinking games so quickly? They'd have no coordination for the ping-pong playing part soon enough.

Though if the aim of the game was to, in fact, get drunk then wizard staffs would do much better. Mallory had once walked in on her big brother and his friend sword-fighting with 'staffs' that were basically beer cans taped together. It seemed efficient.

R.J suggested that they mix things up, so the teams were her and R.J vs. Joey and Claire. That works.

"Yeah, I'm cool with that. Team Ambiguous Gender, hurrah!" Mallory stretched and jumped up and down a bit, much like she would before soccer or football. She didn't want to get drunk too fast.

Then there was a knocking at the door, followed by a guy called Ethan asking to be let in. "Bah, uneven numbers. Would it be three vs. two or we could make him an umpire or something, I dunno."
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Mallory caught the ball that Joey tossed at her. "Alrighty." Mallory rolled it around in her hand for a moment as another girl entered the house after Ethan did. Damn, more names to remember. Ah well. It was to be expected and such.

To Ruth's offer to take the first drink, Mallory shrugged. "Okay. But if this is chivalry or whatever don't worry about it. I can hold liquor like whoa. It runs in the family. I think Dad is part-Irish or something? Wait, maybe I'm confusing stereotypes. Anyway, if it's just because you wanna drink then yeah, guess I'm cool with that."

Mallory then attempted what was gonna be a fucking awesome... hitting-the-ping-pong-ball-maneuver-thing (did ping-pong ball maneuvers have a name) when there was this giant slamming noise from the door and ALL THE NOISES OH MY GOD THE HOUSE IS COLLAPSING--oh it's just that weird guy yelling something about booze aplenty. Crisis averted.

Now ...where'd the ping pong ball go?

"Unless the aim of the game is to lose the ball I think I fucked up. We have more ping-pong balls, right? Whole bag of them." She put the paddle down as another girl--oh hey, it's Susan, I finally know someone here--appeared in the doorway. "If someone else wants to take over go ahead, I'ma find that ping-pong ball... No take-backs on the drink, R.J."

With that, Mallory dropped to the ground and started crawling around, looking for the ping-pong ball. Because losing shit that belonged to the host was just bad manners. She was pretty sure of that, anyway.
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Claire found the ping pong ball before Mallory did, and preceded to immediately bang her head on the table. Mallory snorted as she crawled out from underneath the table.

"That ain't a good sign for what your motor skills are gonna be like later, is it?" Mallory clambered to her feet as Ruth batted a ping pong ball successfully into the cup. "Nice shot."

The teams seemed uneven. Mostly because two-against-one was so rarely a fair deal. Really, as long as people were still arriving a game of beer pong would probably be hard to keep going properly, especially with the fourth player wandering off to do his hosterly duties.

"Beer pong is awesome and all, but maybe it'd be better for when everyone's actually here and all," Mallory said. "Besides, if we both team up against Claire, then that's two times the alcohol she'll be getting shoved at her."

She picked up a beer with a grin. "Besides. Thirsty now. Anyway, gonna wander off and stuff for a bit. It'll even up the teams if you guys are gonna keep playing and stuff."

Taking a long drink from the beer can, Mallory looked around to see what other people were doing. Since Susan was basically the only person Mallory recognised, she wandered in that direction in time to catch the end of a 'why smoking is bad' talk. Something about it making cops turn up.

"Oh yeah, smoking totally sucks," Mallory said, shuffling up to the conversation. "Smells like ass. But all the best parties have policemen turn up at the door, right? Like in the 'Girls On Trampolines' song, where two of the cops were all 'whoa, no man. No parties, gonna smack some bitches' and the third guy was all 'let them party' and everyone was all 'hooray for Officer Three!'"

At which point Mallory realised she had no idea what the conversation at large was about. "Er, so what are we talking about? Smoking?"
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Almost right after Mallory walked into the conversation, Joey and... what's-his-face... wandered off into the kitchen to smoke. Awesome. Having smoke filling the air everywhere wouldn't have been so good, because then if a real fire happened they'd just think it was smoking-type smoke and then everyone would die. And that would suck.

Susan didn't run off to the kitchen, though, so that was good. Susan was cool to hang out with. She didn't get angry so much when Mallory said stuff that probably wasn't so polite in retrospect but that seemed like a good idea at the time.

While Susan grabbed another couple of beers, Mallory saw Claire run past to the bathroom. Already? It'd been hardly any time at all. Sad alcohol-holding abilities. Unless Claire had attempted a keg flip while Mallory wasn't watching. Keg flips were tricky.

"I'm doing okay," Mallory said. "I mean, it's a long walk here and it took ages to get out of the house because Dad was all 'nooo, you'll get drunk and bang people,' and I'm like 'no, Dad, that ship has long since sailed, and then it was a kinda awkward, painful ship so I jumped off and went back to shore.' And then I ran out of the house while he was figuring out what the hell that meant. Other than that, though, awesome."

Mallory took another couple gulps of beer before continuing. "Aaaanyway, how're you? Things all chill and stuff?"
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"Bah, the old man has heart attacks about everything I do. He'll live," Mallory muttered, before draining the rest of her beer. Her father trying to stop her from doing anything 'dangerous' wouldn't be so frustrating if he at least did the same with Riley and Jim, but she'd never seen him try to stop them from going to parties or playing sports. Whenever they got kind of drunk or suffered a sporting injury it was just 'boys will be boys.'

Mallory threw her beer can at a nearby trash can with a bit more force than she'd intended, causing it to miss it by a couple of feet. "Whoops." She picked it up and dumped it in the bin before focusing back on the conversation, where Susan was apologising for burping.

"Nah, it's cool. Better out than in." Mallory gestured at the now-empty can that Susan was holding. "Seriously, how much of that stuff have you chugged? Two cans, three, four? I dunno. S'impressive, though."

Picking up another can of beer, Mallory opened it and, on impulse, tried draining it the same way that Susan was doing with her cans of beer. But she didn't have the skill necessary to do that without choking, as it turned out. Mallory covered her mouth and doubled over as she coughed and spluttered for a little while.

"Gurk... went down the... guh... the wrong way," Mallory insisted.

Figured she'd mess up something as simple as drinking. But Susan made it look so easy. Of course, she made actually being good at your favourite sport and being sociable without being yelled at for being awkward look so easy as well. Mallory was kind of jealous of that, and maybe a little frustrated that Susan was even better at such a trivial thing as chugging beer.

"You gotta teach me how to do that someday," Mallory said, once she'd finished choking. "But uh... what was the question? Right, the... party stuff. I dunno, I'm just here because someone said there was a party. Don't remember who that was, though. But, you know... People. Beer. Fun times. What's not to like?

"I mean, you'd have similar reasons for turning up, right? That's what parties are for. Though, dunno, maybe you have other reasons, I dunno. Can't read minds."
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Mallory nodded as Susan gave her reason for turning up. Well, going to parties for fun was pretty much the best and only reason for going. The lack of cute guys wasn't a problem to Mallory. Guys didn't like her, and that was fine because she didn't like guys, either. (Or girls. Or anything weird, like horses and sock puppets.) It was a mutual 'meh' situation.

Mallory watched Susan chug another can, half-expecting her to choke as well because she was being too damn good at it. But nope. No choking. Mallory didn't try to replicate the feat again. She knew when she was beaten, even if it wasn't really a competition in the first place.

"Show-off," Mallory said amiably, when Susan was finished with her current can of O'Douls. "I'll have to try with soda water next time. It would be less expensive than choking on beer. I'll try it later, though. Choking doesn't help parties at all.

"Actually, could really go for some music right now, as well. Party without music is like rum and coke with only coke. I guess we could go find the stereo or whatever and fiddle around with the volume, right?"

Mallory started edging around the table of refreshments and such, making her way towards the stereo. She passed by the kitchen as she did so, and caught a glimpse of Joey and What's-His-Face holding some white things that looked like aspirin. Good, if they already had aspirin they wouldn't mind louder noise. Or they'd get pissed off because they had headaches, but parties were meant to be loud.

She located the stereo and started prodding at the volume button. It was already on, though far too quiet, and playing Flo Rida music. Mallory wasn't that big a fan, she preferred rock music to his kind of stuff. But eh, at least it wasn't sugary pop music. Ew. After turning up the volume some, she made her way back to Susan.

"That loud enough? Hope Joey and what's-his-face don't ask us to turn it down. They were already taking aspirin. Wusses."
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"Getting high, huh? Well, whatever. As long as they don't drop anything into the beer I don't really care." Mallory had another gulp of beer as she glanced back at the kitchen. She didn't understand the appeal of drugs. Even with things like alcohol... she liked beer, sure, but she also liked to remember what had happened when she was drinking it. She had a bad enough problem with thinking things through as it was. She didn't need some weird tablets to mess it up more.

Although... she might consider it if it was one of those drugs that let you 'see sound.' If Mallory found some of whatever that was she'd probably go for it, even just once, because being able to see music... that sounded like it would be the most beautiful thing ever. But otherwise she didn't see the point.

Susan fiddled around with the stereo for a few moments before Third Eye Blind started blasting. Mallory grinned and punched Susan on the shoulder lightly.

"Thank god, that's so much better. Why would anyone choose rap over rock? Besides, every time I hear a Flo Rida song it's about the club. We get it, clubs are awesome, do they really need fifty bajillion songs about them? And at a house party, it kinda feels like it's going 'the place you're not at is awesomeeee!' They don't play 'house parties rock' songs at clubs, do they?"

Mallory bobbed her head a little to the music before doing a strange sort of half-dance, which just made it look like she needed to pee. Still grinning in a slightly tipsy fashion, she finished off her beer and tossed the empty can in the direction of the bin, although she was paying much more attention to the music than she was to her aim.
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"Well, there totally should be house party son--oh, shit," Mallory trailed off halfway through her reply as the can she'd thrown collided with the face of that loud, drugged-up guy. She couldn't help but giggle a little, because come on, that's great aim in a totally horrible way.

Susan gave her two points for it. "Whaaa--that is so worth more than two points, faces are hard to hit. They're tiny. Sometimes. Except on fat people. Ugh, not the point here..." Mallory scratched the side of her face absently, just barely resisting the urge to hide and hope he hadn't seen who threw it. But no, she'd face up to it. Ducking was the coward's way of doing things, and she wasn't no goddamn coward.

"Uhh, I'll be back in a minute, better make sure I didn't break his nose or something shitty like that," Mallory said, shrugging in a 'might as well' kind of way. Then she trotted over to Loud, Drugged and Drunk Guy. (She should probably figure out what the hell his name was while she was apologising.)

"Ahh, um... my bad? Didn't break your face or nothing, did I? I mean, if I did, that's really shit and I'm sorry. Not that I'd be un-sorry if I didn't break anything, but your face was so in the way of the garbage bin and--okay, this isn't going anywhere. Sorry."

She hoped she hadn't broken his nose. She hadn't broken a nose in years.
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The guy Mallory had hit with the beer can wasn't looking too cheery. Guess that made sense. Beer cans probably hurt. Mallory shifted uncomfortably as he glared at her. It wasn't like people being mad at her was new, but she didn't have to like it.

For some reason, some other girl threw a chip. ...Was she even aiming at the trashcan? It was the complete opposite direction. Mallory shifted her attention for a moment to stare at Chip-Throwing Girl with a bemused expression. Did she see the flying beer can and assume throwing things was a new game? That could be a good game. Set up enough trash cans and mannequin heads (safer than real people) and--

Okay, mind back to the present, Mal, this is not the time for inventing games. No matter how awesome they sound.

She focused back on the situation. The beer-canned guy, who Joey called Travis, put on a grin. Hooray! That meant all was forgiven, because smiles equaled forgiveness and--

...Sasquatch?

"You're a sasquatch!" Mallory countered angrily. It was not the best comeback out there. ...Okay, it was just terrible.

Mallory crossed her arms and started glaring back. Yes, she'd thrown a beer can and really did need to look where she was throwing them next time. He had a right to be grumpy about it. But she'd apologised and he just threw it back in her face, not to mention called her a sasquatch (she was many unflattering things, but she was not a mythical ape-man with giant feet) and that was just... douchey.

Mallory wanted to come back with a retort that wasn't painfully dumb, but all that came out were a couple of spluttery noises. Susan stepped in at about that time, though, and that felt pretty good. Someone having your back was always great, one of the best things ever. Mallory smiled for a moment despite the situation, although her expression quickly switched back to grumpy.

"Yeah, it was an accident, you jerk! I guess you're just too much of a... a..." Mallory struggled for words for a few moments before letting out an annoyed grunt. "Whatever, I guess your parents just didn't teach you how to accept apologies like a... non-dick."

That had been something her mother had hammered in at an early age. With such a large family crammed into a small house, arguments occurred a lot, and her mother always insisted on apologies afterwards. Replying to an apology with accusations of being a sasquatch at home would get her grounded.
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Travis was still angry. What was up with that? And why was everyone clustering? It wasn't like everything was that cranky--okay, they were, but it wasn't going to turn into a punch-up because Mallory just didn't do punch-ups. They were pointless and just got people in trouble, they weren't fun like football.

And why was he asking what Mallory said about his parents? Hadn't he'd been listening?

Mallory ignored Susan's attempt to get her to sit down. She didn't need to sit down, she wasn't drunk. Tipsy, sure, but not drunk or else she wouldn't be standing.

"I just said that most parents teach their kids good manners and that yours obviously didn't, because accepting apologies is Manners 101 and good parents teach that shit. You know, apologies, don't chew with your mouth full, whatever. Even I know that. Hell, it was hammered into me when I was, like, three. Four. Not important, the exact age, but way before whatever age you are unless you had your growth spurt ridiculously early--wait."

Mallory had realised halfway through her babble that she was probably making things worse.

"Uh. I mean... We cool?" she added nervously, taking a step backwards and attempting to follow Susan in a casual 'yep, there's no anger here' kind of way.
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Oh, you did not just call me a bitch.

Mallory's fist was clenched and half-raised before she even knew what she was doing, but she managed to hold back. No fighting, she told herself. That was not how she did things. Even if the guy talking was an asshole.

Everyone else seemed to either be trying to stop the fight or just moving away from it entirely. That was a good idea. So Mallory fixed her stare on the angry, drunk/stoned guy and said, "Don't know what to tell you, then. I tried apologising. But whatever. I don't have to listen to this bullshit."

Then she turned around, intending to head over to where Susan was. This fight was stupid, anyway. Completely ruined her buzz.
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