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Ryan Caloin
Topic Started: Feb 4 2012, 12:26 AM (745 Views)
Grim Wolf
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Name: Ryan Caloin
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High
Hobbies and Interests: Writing, Reading, Video Games, Debating, Zombie Defense League

Appearance: Until last year, Ryan Caloin was overweight and acne-ridden with greasy long brown hair. Over the summer, however, Ryan has spent his time working and exercising. He is now more trim, with broad shoulders and developed arms and legs. While still acne-ridden, he has acquired a bit of a tan to his normally pale skin and his face looks somewhat more handsome now that he's trimmed some of the fat. His hair is cut above his eyes and just below his ears. His eyes are green with golden around the pupils beneath bushy eyebrows, and his nose is somewhat crooked. He favors button-down shirts and old, faded jeans. He stands in at six feet, two inches, and weighs in at 165 lbs.

Biography: Ryan was born to parents Michael Caloin and Haley Patton, now divorced, in Miami. Their rocky marriage was born from a late-night elopement one year previously after a month of equally-rocky dating, and after three more years of fighting the two eventually gave up. After a fierce custody battle, Ryan and his younger sister, Margaret, ended up living with their mother. It was while living in Miami that Ryan developed the crippling fear of death that was to haunt him for the rest of his life. There was no traumatic incident which caused it--late on night six year-old Ryan Caloin was thinking about Heaven and went to his mother's room to ask how anyone knew there was an afterlife if no one had ever come back. His mother told him they didn't, and Ryan was left with a cold fear that has stuck with him well into the present. He only discusses this fear with those he is extremely close to, and otherwise keeps it to himself.

Due to Haley's hard work and care (as well as her kids' intelligence) she was able to get both of her kids into a prestigious private school. Ryan, who was sort of a weird kid to begin with, had to deal with further abuse from students who were all wealthier than he was. As a result of having so few friends, Ryan, a somewhat precocious child who had started learning to read at the age of 4, began to read much more heavily, until he could read two or three grades above his reading level. His isolation was further compounded when his father married Aurora Fortins (now Aurora Caloin) and acquired two stepbrotherrs, Franklin and Tom Fortins. The boys introduced him to video games, and Ryan began to use video games as well as books to compensate for his lack of friends.

After various personal and financial troubles, Haley eventually decided to move to Seattle, where her parents, Elwood and Kathryn Patton, could help support her and the family. Ryan continued to regularly see his dad, stepmom, and stepbrothers, growing closer to all of them, as well as to his grandparents. Although still a weird and somewhat awkward kid, the wider pool of peers provided by Seattle public school enabled him to find friends more easily, and Ryan left his shell, though he remained an isolated nerd.

Ryan's obsession with writing evolved naturally out of his love of books and his isolation. Without friends, he often spent time thinking of stories or inventing imaginary plots to take part in, heavily influenced by the various shows, video games, and books he loved. As time went on his ideas became progressively more original, and he wrote more and more. He tends to write science-fiction, horror-fiction, or well-grounded (a la George R.R. Martin) fantasy. As of now, he is sitting on two novels, only one of which he has been comfortable submitting for publication. The other in in a period of heavy revising.

His interest in Debate actually (and hilariously) spawned from a viewing of Winning London, which he gradually pursued through Junior High and High School before becoming one of his school's top LD debaters. An older student, Alec Stanley, served as something of Ryan's mentor, first teaching him how to debate properly and then appointing him de facto successor to the presidency of the Zombie Defense League, which Alec founded. Ryan assumed the presidency upon returning to school. The ZDL is a small club devoted mainly to the nerdiest echelon of the school--mass Left For Dead parties, other video games, and games of Zombie Tag, played with massive numbers of "zombies" fended off with nerf weaponry. Largely modified with gloves and rolled-up socks (and the occasional snuck-in nerf gun when they think they can get away with it), the game is still fairly popular. He is presently trying to get a Zombie Defense League lock-in going, with limited success.

Although not exactly a social butterfly, Ryan is able to quickly get to know people, especially people in crisis, by being open to talking about them and listening to them. He retains a small circle of extremely close friends and has been on occasion been known to hang out with more random people to get to know them and their problems. He thinks his own life is rather uninteresting and so is always willing (and often eager) to hear about the secrets and problems of others. He does not share very much about himself as a result.

Ryan's nerdy nature and preference for indoor activities left him overweight and somewhat unattractive, until he fell hopelessly in love with a girl and was rejected. After moping over her for something like six months, Ryan isolated himself from his friends and spent the summer largely on his own--reading, writing, running, doing push-ups and sit-ups. He has gained a measure of self-confidence and managed to let himself take more risks, be it in asking girls out, getting his work done, or experiencing new things. He has decided to engage life more fully, and to not let fear--fear of pain, fear of rejection, and fear of change--control him as strongly as before.


Advantages: Ryan is an excellent listener and speaker, and so will likely be better equipped to resolve situations diplomatically than other students. His new physical fitness will serve him well, and some time in the Boy Scouts has left him with a bit of knowledge about the outdoors.
Disadvantages: In spite of his new-found desire to engage life fully, Ryan still fears pain and loss, and his endemic phobia of death will likely cripple him island-side.
Edited by Grim Wolf, Feb 12 2012, 07:14 PM.
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Grim Wolf
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Apologies for the vagueness of the girl in the post, but since she doesn't exist yet requesting that it be an allowed bit of vagueness to be fleshed out more fully post pre-game.
Want to buy my book? See my short stories? Read my fanfiction? Visit my website!

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Outfoxd
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Hullo, Grim, I'll be taking a look at this guy for ya. I'd say it's a good start, but I might want to see a little more elaboration on some points. It's DENIED pending a couple adjustments.

In his appearance you do a good job describing him, but you don't talk about his clothing style or what he tends to wear. You might want to throw that a few lines to cap it off.

Also, what kind of stuff did he do to get into shape? Knowing what activities he did may give more ammo for the bio later.

As far as his writing, there might be some more you can draw out of it that would give us some insight into the character. What genres does he favor? What are the subject matter of his novels? Why hasn't he decided to try to publish them yet? Or, if he has, what's the status of his submissions?

The Zombie Defense League seems a little bit glossed over. How active is he as president? What kind of duties does he take on? There could be a lot of potential for my facets of the character in here, and while I'll admit I'm not strongly familiar with it, I still would like to see more.

As far as the dating interest, I'd want to see a little more elaboration. After the rejection, does Ryan now actively seek out romantic companionship? It isn't quite mentioned or deconstructed in the bio, so I'd like to see a little more like that.

There's also a few spelling and grammar errors that just need to be ironed out on the second go around.

For example, you write "To that end, he has decided to engage life more fully, and not to not let fear--fear of pain, fear of rejection, and fear of change--control him so strongly as before." I think you meant to omit the first "not". Most of these grammar things are quick fixes, so give the bio a read aloud to catch and adjust these.

Thanks for submitting, and I look forward to looking at the second go around!
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Grim Wolf
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Edited. I just cut dating out of hobbies and interests.
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Tara Behzad: "They don't get to decide how I die."

Lizzie Luz: "I don't want to go."

Alex Tarquin: "No more masks."

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Outfoxd
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I like that you added in the nature of the activities for the kids, but friends with the activity director or not, they wouldn't likely allow guns in any form like that for school events. Schools are really strict on weapons and weapon-shaped objects. If they'd allow that kind of thing, it would be with rolled up socks. Might be iffy that they allow it all simply because of the simulated violence aspect of it. They might well do this kind of thing in someone's house or such though.

You expanded the writing section, which I appreciate, but I'd still like a little more insight as to what he writes. Like I said before, genre would be helpful if he adheres to any in particular, maybe recurring themes, character styles, things like that.

Also, his fear of death. Did anyone try to help him with the issue? How has it affected his outlook on life? Has anyone sat down and tried to talk to him about it, maybe get him counseling?
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Grim Wolf
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I should say up front that I am probably going to get somewhat defensive about Ryan because he is a self-insert. I apologize in advance. Moving on!

1) The Zombie Defense League actually existed at my school, and we had no trouble getting away with nerf weaponry as long as were not disruptive to teachers.

2) It's something I am well in control of and which I never sought counseling for, having never had counseling of any kind.

Expanded the writing section and added the note about obeying teachers and not being disruptive to the profile.
Want to buy my book? See my short stories? Read my fanfiction? Visit my website!

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Tara Behzad: "They don't get to decide how I die."

Lizzie Luz: "I don't want to go."

Alex Tarquin: "No more masks."

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Outfoxd
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Alright, everything else in the bio looks good. The only thing I'm still iffy on is the Nerf guns in school. While I believe you when you say your school allowed it as long as it wasn't disruptive, asking around staff it seems like more schools would not allow it than would. As mentioned before, if you want to just write it as the people using some non firearm alternative (one member mentioned the use of rolled up socks). Like I said, the rest of the bio is ok, it's just this one point.
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Grim Wolf
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Would it be acceptable to play with nerf weapons during the theoretical lock-in? Assuming we kept it a "secret".
Want to buy my book? See my short stories? Read my fanfiction? Visit my website!

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Tara Behzad: "They don't get to decide how I die."

Lizzie Luz: "I don't want to go."

Alex Tarquin: "No more masks."

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Outfoxd
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It'll be ok for them to use Nerf guns if the lock-ins are held after school, once everyone has left, with all the proper authorities notifed and a chaperone appointed. I'm not sure if you actually want to RP the lock-in, but if you do it in this way then it won't have to be a secret. Otherwise it's best if they have it off-campus or do it with weapon stand-ins for the Nerf guns.
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Grim Wolf
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Right then. Everything should be edited to your satisfaction, assuming you have no new complaints.
Want to buy my book? See my short stories? Read my fanfiction? Visit my website!

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Tara Behzad: "They don't get to decide how I die."

Lizzie Luz: "I don't want to go."

Alex Tarquin: "No more masks."

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Outfoxd
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APPROVED
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Leona Van Kamp
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