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Yasmin "Yaz" Carrol
Topic Started: Jan 21 2012, 09:25 PM (472 Views)
Deamon
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Name: Yasmin "Yaz" Carrol
Gender: Female.
Age: 18
Grade: 12th
Hobbies and Interests: Drawing, Photography, Music

Appearance: Yasmin definitely falls under the category of cute standing only 4"10' and weighing 99 pounds. This makes her rather skinny. She has a fairly pale complexion that makes her long brown hair stand out against her face. Her hair reaches down to her shoulders and bangs hang over a blue headband that makes them stick out off her face keeping her hair away from her eyes. Her face is fairly straight and her eyes are a dark shade of blue and very rounded and she has a small button nose. Her mouth is quite small but always seems to be smiling. She tends to wear tight fitting t-shirts and jeans as well as purple and pink Vans and she always wears a black and white bead necklace.

Biography: Born to Kimberly and Mike Carrol, Yasmin has lived in the same two bedroom house her whole life. It's not that her parents can't afford to move it's more that they are happy with where they are living. Her nickname of Yaz came when her parents were trying to make her learn her name and she could only say the first three letters. The name stuck with her parents using it and others picking it up when they visited which has led to it becoming more used then her actual name. Yasmin has a very positive outlook on life and is very happy go lucky once people get to know her. She is shy though and will tend to be quiet around large groups of people or people she doesn't know. She grew up as an only child so didn't have as much social interaction with other children.

While she only interacted with a handful of other children in elementary school her time at the school could be considered happy and uneventful. Her hobby of drawing started at Elementary and she excelled in Art class. After moving to middle school however Yasmin started to become a victim of bullying for being smaller than all of the other girls. While at first this distressed Yasmin since she had never been picked on to any real degree before then she eventually adapted to it and managed to keep up her happy go lucky while in public. In private however she became increasingly more depressed and upset, beginning to spend much of her time at home alone in her room. It didn't help that she entered puberty later than many of her classmates and as such remained small while they were all growing. Her parents realising that something was going on with her took her to see a councillor, who got Yasmin to admit that she was being bullied at school. After her parents went to the school and explained what had been happening the bullying started to decline and Yasmin became much happier.

The bullying had the side effect of making her lonely at school. Leading to her to start to draw much more than she used to while she was at home and didn't have anything else to do apart from be alone with her negative thoughts, because she wasn't talking to her parents about being bullied. Her drawings can be considered her way of expressing herself creatively or when she feels words won't work. This can mostly be attributed to the bullying, the drawing was a way to channel her negative emotions into something that could calm her down and produce something that she enjoyed at the same time. Many people do tend to comment that her drawings are darker than what she would normally take photos of. She hasn't told anyone why this is because of her shy nature. When she started drawing she wasn't very good but she has improved over the years through constant practice and taking it as a subject once she reached high school. Her drawings range from landscapes that are changed in some way, like the trees being dead to full portraits of monsters that tend to have dimensions that would make them tall if they were real. She does draw lighter pictures though and frequently finds herself drawing a cat she's started to call Benny if she decides to randomly draw something happy. She assumes this is due to the fact that she likes cats and the idea of having one as a pet.

Upon entering high school she took up Art as a subject without a second thought and this is the subject where she applies herself most. She is also a very competent student in other areas of her education such as English and Maths. Her grades are between average and above average, with Art being a class she is considered exceptionally good at. Art being the subject she puts the most effort into followed by English. Yasmin is hoping she will be able to go to college when she leaves high school and she is preparing a portfolio of her work for this purpose, she is also planning on using the portfolio in case she needs to become a freelance artist if she does not make it into college.

Her interest in photography started when she choose to study the subject, she found she had a natural flair for taking photos of landscapes. The thing she enjoyed about photography was the fact that a photo would capture a moment in time. She feels more like she is preserving something when she takes a photo of it whereas she feels more like she's creating something when she draws it out. She enjoyed it enough to turn it into a hobby which she actively pursues outside of school time. She can often be seen with her bag which will always contain her camera so that she can take a picture of anything the she finds interesting. Some of the photos she takes will be kept as photos while she may take others and draw them out by hand altering them in some way. She enjoys doing this and is determined to get a career in Art. Since it is a passion she has had for a long time. Although she can be self-deprecating at times about the quality of her work, she is aware that she is in fact a very good artist.

Yasmin frequently listens to music when she is engrossed in a piece. The style tends to stay around punk, indie rock and alternative. She says this helps her creativity. She even has specific playlists set up to get her in a specific mood for a piece. Her views on music are that it is a form of art you hear rather than view and she can sometimes find herself longing to be able to play an instrument so that she can produce music. She also frequently visits music stores to pick up new releases or see if there is anything interesting that she might like. In fact one of the things Yasmin wants to do if she becomes a full time artist is design the cover art for an album or be the photographer that takes the picture that is used.

Yasmin relationship with her parents is a good one; she can't remember ever having a fight with either of them. They are both very supportive of her passion for Art and bought her a brand new camera on her last birthday which is considerably better than the one she was using as well as paying for half of the cost of a laptop she bought the year before so that she could edit pictures better. They also supported her emotionally once they became aware that she was getting bullied. They would frequently check with the school to make sure that the bullying had died down as well as cheering her up if she was in a negative mood. Yasmin enjoys spending time with her parents and Saturday is a traditional movie night where all three of them watch a movie together.

Socially Yasmin can be very shy of a person that she has just met and will only say a few words to them because she is unsure of whether they will be kind to her or not. However once she gets past the initial awkward stage of meeting someone she is a very kind and supportive person. She has a small group of friends that she has mostly made through them being in the same classes. She is considered to be very trustworthy by people she is friends with and while is not the most active person to interact with in a group she makes an effort to be nice to everyone.

Advantages: Her small size means people may underestimate her and allow her to hide in places that others wouldn't be able to reach. She also has a high degree of mental toughness after enduring being bullied for so long.
Disadvantages: Yasmin is not very strong so it would be easy for someone to overpower her and her shyness means it will be hard for her to talk people out of things.
Edited by Deamon, Jan 25 2012, 03:39 PM.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
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BetaKnight
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Hi, Deamon! Before we give Yasmin a full critique, please adjust her profile so it matches the template. Specifically, you have omitted spaces between Hobbies and Interests and Appearance, and also in between Appearance and Biography. Post when you've got that done, and we'll give Yasmin a full critique. Thanks!
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Deamon
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Edited it to match the template. That's what I get for writing this at 2:00am.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
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BetaKnight
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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Hi Daemon. Yasmin Carrol is temporarily DENIED pending some adjustments to her profile.

Just a note, please do not capitalize elementary school, middle school, or high school since they are common nouns unless they are naming a specific school, like Aurora High School or Jones Community Elementary School. Also, there are a few spelling mistakes in the profile. You might want to run it through a spell checking program to help you find them.

In the Appearance section, please provide some more specific types of information in order to help readers create a mental picture of Yasmin. For example, what kind of general body type does Yasmin have? Is she somewhat scrawny looking? Thin and waifish? Of average build despite her height?

Please provide some sort of skin tone/color description. Is Yasmin practically albino? Peaches and cream in complexion? A little tan?

And about her clothes...what kind of t-shirts does she like? Bright, colorful ones? Ones with logos? Dark color ones? Baggy ones? Tight ones? Fitted ones? What kind of footwear does she favor? These types of details help your reader better visualize your character.

In the Biography, you mention Yasmin's interest in art and that she draws to express herself. However, you don't mention if she is any good, especially since as the profile stands, she is entirely self-taught. You tell me she draws frequently, but not the quality of her work. I also like to draw, but my work is pretty much terrible. However, this does not diminish my enjoyment of drawing.

As for her interest in photography, what is it about photography that she enjoys? How does this differ from her interest in drawing? And when she turns photographs into drawings, does she physically draw the images or does she use a program like Photshop, Sai, or Gimp?

"She enjoys doing this and is determined to get a career in Art since it is a passion she had for a long time and while she can be self-deprecating about the quality of her work, almost always understating it she is aware that she is a very good artist. "

I do not really understand what you are conveying with this sentence. You might need to separate this in to two or more sentences.

Perhaps the most problematic aspect of the profile is that there is no mention of her high school experience at all. The last time anything is specifically mentioned is when she is being bullied in middle school. There are no grades, no favorite classes, or the type of student she mentioned at all. Does she plan to study art in college or just going to continue to self-instruct and freelance?

"She is considered to be very trustworthy by many of her friends...."

What friends? How does Yasmin know these people? All through the bio, you have stressed that Yasmin is very lonely, shy, and isolated. Where did these "many friends" come from? You do not need to name any specific person, but I would like some idea of where these friends came from and how they met.

Finally, in the Advantages, you mention that Yasmin can "fake being happy rather well after doing it for so long in Middle school." How is the ability to faking being happy an advantage? And middle school was four years ago. Is this something she regularly practices? If not, I think it is a skill that might be a bit rusty and out-of-date.

Please go over your profile and make the suggested additions to your profile. Once you have made your edits, post here and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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Deamon
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Edited the profile covering all the changes you wanted.
Forrest Quin - At the Zoo
Bret Carter - On a date
Aliya Kimia Nemati - In Training
Arizona - Practicing
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BetaKnight
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