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Eliza Patton
Topic Started: Jan 21 2012, 02:41 AM (945 Views)
laZardo
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^This is not what a Laz looks like^
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Name: Eliza Patton
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Grade: 12
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Punk/Metal rock lifestyle, Anarchism (semi-casual interest), general troublemaking

Appearance: At 5'5" and 107 lbs, Eliza has a generally petite if not somewhat runty figure. Her body is very slightly plumped in places, notably around her hips and upper legs, where a lack of exercise is beginning to take their toll. Other than that she does not look particularly attractive, with a B-cup chest and a waistline that isn't that much shorter than her hips to give her an androgynous look in certain outfits.

Her short hair, naturally brown, is bleached blonde and spiked into a mohawk dyed a random fluorescent color at the tips, though she does not shave the rest of her head. She has brown eyes, a small yet pointed nose, and relatively thin lips that look fuller with makeup applied.

In terms of clothing, Eliza frequently straddles the lines of AHS' dress code. She likes to wear dark colored shirts and torn jeans along with old sneakers, sometimes switched out for heavy metal boots. She does save a place in her heart for one brighter-colored outfit: the rebel schoolgirl type, with a button-down white shirt and a skirt nicked from a nearby Catholic campus. She has multiple ear and lip piercings, along with a navel piercing. Dark makeup on her eyelids and lips completes the heavy metal look.

She also has a number of tattoos on her upper arms and back depicting heavy metal imagery, most prominently that of a thunderbird.

Biography: Eliza was born on 14 May 1993 to Alan and Miranda Patton. She is the older sister of Cody Patton. She grew up primarily under Miranda's care as marital troubles forced her parents to divorce before her first birthday. With her father moved up to Alaska as a crab fisherman and her mother working a full-time job and little assistance from social services, Eliza has few if any memories of her mother prior to starting school.

Indeed, the lack of a steady mother figure - one exacerbated with frequently-rotated babysitters - bred a sort of independent streak where as a toddler she would engage in risky behavior. This included playing with sharp objects and attempting to ingest hazardous materials, including pen ink.

In sharp contrast to her brother fighting his way into the ranks of the popular kids and jocks that held social authority, Eliza began to establish herself as a rebel. In elementary school she developed a reputation as a troublemaker, starting with verbal insults but eventually graduating to pranks. By the time junior high started, she also started to skip classes and hang out with what would generally be described as the "wrong crowd." This streak was repeatedly made known to her mother, though whatever discipline she could administer only seemed to give Eliza incentive to continue.

In 2006, she was finally ordered to repeat the 8th grade, landing her in many of the same classes as Cody. The fact that she was ordered to do so did not irk her significantly as much as the fact that she would see most of her 'friends' move on to high school while her brother literally caught up with her.

There was one event that did cheer her spirits though. On her 13th birthday, Eliza bought an electric guitar with her saved allowance. Although her grades remain not much higher than barely passing to this day, the guitar did provide her with a more focused interest, sometimes to the detriment of Cody and her mother. She started saving her allowance to buy other rock music equipment, including a small amplifier and pedals. And given the location, she inevitably developed an intense interest in Seattle's famous underground/alternative rock culture.

As she began life in Aurora High School, the contrast between her and Cody's choice of lifestyle became increasingly evident. Where he found his calling in the rule-bound world of varsity sports, she was often staying out late at night to attend rock concerts at bars and clubs, befriending others to get past the 18 or 21 age limit. Her appearance slowly became more consistent with the typical punk/metal fan, including piercings and dyed hair. Finally, she also lost her virginity to one of her classmates shortly after reaching the age of consent.

Her social life also blossomed rapidly as a result, though like her musical tastes it was not necessarily to her family's benefit. With high school students creating more pronounced cliques based on their cultural tastes, Eliza quickly fell in with the rebellious types, including the "Rainier Valley Girls" clique with Leah Chapel, Cherry Vincent and Monica Bowman. There she plays the role of the member that frequently pushes for more extreme actions, a role possibly derived from her increasing influence by Seattle's erstwhile infamous anarchist community. When not at school, her home, jamming or at a concert, she can be found at the Go-Kart track where the Girls make their general hangout.

She has still kept her first guitar and has dedicated quite a bit of effort and resources into maintaining it and making it her own. As of late, she has also started experimenting with making her own music, though each of her attempted compositions sound woefully incomplete outside of her own head for a lack of accompanying instruments. As for jamming venues, Eliza can be seen bringing her guitar to local underground studios or other 'impromptu' sets just to hang out and jam with fellow metal enthusiasts or wannabe punk stars outside of their gigs.

Eliza started smoking at 16. Although she did not start drinking early on primarily due to the State of Washington's stringent liquor availability laws, her affiliation with the Rainier Valley Girls means that she has access to these drinks through her friends' relatives. She generally sticks to beer, and has actually become somewhat of a connoisseur though she refuses to chug anything associated with the 'hipster' cultural phenomenon.

Relations outside the clique and her on-and-off relationships with other students are relatively few, especially in comparison to Cody. Her taste for the "revolution culture" has put her at odds with some of the more fashionable cliques as well as the sports team, though exceptions are naturally made for those she's slept with. These are ironically made easier to deal with thanks to her brother's side intervention, though she often refuses to acknowledge it.

The lack of interaction along with her troublemaker reputation has not left Eliza on good terms with Miranda, especially in recent years where Eliza's penchant for the Seattle underground and activities with the Rainier Valley Girls have actually had her staying out of the house later than her mother comes home. Whatever interaction they do have consists of heated arguments, and often half-hearted attempts at discipline. That Miranda has not outright given her up for adoption may signify that she still believes there is some hope in the relationship.

Yet where her relationship with her mother is hostile, her relationship with Cody appears to be primarily limited to keeping their distance. This separation is not unusual and is maintained with a fair degree of mutual respect if not detente. Their contrasting choice of student lifestyle keeps the two at a constant distance with sporadic arguments similar to Eliza's situation with her mother, but differs sharply in that Cody rarely attempts to impose his will on her.

Indeed, where Cody would probably protect his sister if push came to shove, Eliza's resentfulness over his lifestyle makes it very likely that the feeling is not mutual. The constant clashes between the more 'authoritarian' jocks and her so-called "rebels" - along with the peer pressure within the latter community to openly resent authority mean she will go to lengths to avoid being seen with her brother outside the house. Thus she is not likely to stand up for or help her brother when he is attacked.

By contrast, she also naturally feels closer to the Rainier Valley Girls, and will at least stand up for them when they get involved in conflict.

Eliza Patton hopes to join up with or form a band after finishing high school rather than go to college.

Advantages: Amidst her rebellious nature and opportunism when it comes to relationships, she is at least loyal to her friends. This sort of teamwork could prove useful until it inevitably comes down to the wire.
Disadvantages: She is not in top physical condition, predictably due to her attempts to live life like a rockstar. While the promise of another one-night stand with former flames could attract temporary support, it would also potentially render her vulnerable to fatal manipulation.
Edited by laZardo, Jan 31 2012, 01:06 AM.

Unfucked: Cisco Vasquez (V4)
Proper Fucked: Harris Van Allen (The Program), Rashid Hassan (V4)
Fucked Soon: Carlos Lazaro and Eliza Patton
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BetaKnight
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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Eliza Patton is temporarily DENIED pending some adjustments to her profile.

In the Appearance portion of the profile, you say, "Her body is slightly plumped in places, notably around her hips and upper legs. Other than that she does not look particularly attractive, with a B-cup chest and relatively narrow hips..."

These two sentences contradict each other. Does Eliza have plump hips and thighs or narrow hips?

"Her short blonde hair is spiked into a mohawk dyed a random fluorescent color at the tips, though she does not shave the rest of her head. to match She has brown eyes, a small yet pointed nose, and relatively thin lips that look fuller with makeup applied."

In the above section of text, your punctuation got misplaced. Please double check this text for correctness.

In the Biography portion of the profile, there is some information that does not match up with the information provided in Cody Patton's profile.

"She grew up primarily under Miranda's care as marital troubles forced her parents to divorce before her first birthday."

"In sharp contrast to her brother's more traditionally 'loyal' upbringing, Eliza's rebellious streak began to develop before she hit puberty."


What do you mean "traditionally ‘loyal’ upbringing"? This statement implies that somehow, Cody had different upbringing than Eliza did. Do you mean that the two children were treated differently by their mother? Please clarify.

"In 2006, she was finally ordered to repeat the 7th grade, landing her in many of the same classes as Cody."

Yes, but how did Eliza *feel* about being in the same classes as her younger brother? It would be very obvious to everyone who knew Cody that Eliza had been retained. How did that make her feel? Indifferent? Embarassed? Happy? Please elaborate on this.

"As an 'incentive' to make up for this failing, Eliza received an electric guitar for her 13th birthday."

Wait, so her mother rewarded her for failing an entire grade? The fact that her daughter is now is the same grade as her son is a good thing in their mother's eyes? Why?

"Where he found his calling in the rule-bound world of varsity sports, she was often staying out - and later sneaking out - to attend rock concerts at bars and clubs, befriending others to get past the 18 or 21 age limit."

If she is just staying out, why does she have to sneak out? Is she punished for staying out late? Does her mother care?

"And, as predictable as the groupie lifestyle went, she also lost her virginity to one of her classmates shortly after reaching the age of consent."

What does being a groupie have to do with her losing her virginity to a classmate? I could understand how being a groupie and losing her virginity to someone in her favorite band could be seen as predictable, but I'm not seeing the connection between being a groupie and sleeping with a classmate. Please clarify.

"When not at school, her home or a concert/gig, she can be found at the Go-Kart track where the Girls make their general hangout."

What concert/gigs? There’s no mention of her being in a band, only attending concerts. Or are those the concert/gigs that are being referenced? Because traditionally, a ‘gig’ is musician lingo for a paying job. Audience members do not refer to the event as a gig.

"The 'garage' of the Go-kart track has also become her de facto studio/jamming area. She has still kept her first guitar and has dedicated quite a bit of effort and resources into maintaining it and making it her own."

No, the garage of the Go-kart track (which is off-limit to anyone except authorized Castle employees) is NOT her studio/jamming area. Please pick a different location for Eliza's "studio".

"She has a strenuous, often standoffish relationship with her mother. This separation is not unusual and is maintained with a fair degree of mutual respect if not detente. However, where Cody would probably protect his sister if push came to shove, Eliza's resentfulness over his lifestyle makes it very likely that the feeling is not mutual.

Please elaborate as to why is she resentful. Why is her relationship with her mother so poor? Are you telling readers that she would allow people to beat up her sibling and do nothing to help him? The relationship with both her mother and brother need to be expanded upon.

Finally, in the Disadvantages section, you wrote, "While the promise of "rekindling a relationship" might earn her some temporary friends, it would also potentially render her vulnerable to fatal manipulation."

What kind of relationship are you implying? With whom would she establish this relationship? Please clarify.

Once you have made the necessary edits to your profile, please post in this thread and I will give Eliza another going-over.
Edited by BetaKnight, Jan 22 2012, 04:17 AM.
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laZardo
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^This is not what a Laz looks like^
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Okay, I've attempted to make edits. I've dialled the animosity with her mother back a notch and reorganized some paragraphs.

Unfucked: Cisco Vasquez (V4)
Proper Fucked: Harris Van Allen (The Program), Rashid Hassan (V4)
Fucked Soon: Carlos Lazaro and Eliza Patton
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BetaKnight
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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