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Elias Vandrier
Topic Started: Jan 16 2012, 03:36 PM (457 Views)
Shiola
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Name: Elias Vandrier
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Grade: 12th
School: Aurora High School
Hobbies and Interests: Sketching, Electronics, Computers, Reading, Writing, Travelling.
Appearance: Elias is difficult to miss. He is slightly on the short side at 5’10, and has a very light frame which could be considered almost feminine. His skin is quite pale as he doesn’t have a very sturdy diet and his somewhat reclusive lifestyle. Likewise, he doesn’t have altogether much muscle mass, though he is far beyond emaciated. His facial features are sharply defined, but this is offset at a glance by his soft skin. Elias' most noticeable feature is his large, green eyes which have a very piercing, focused gaze.

Elias’ hair is in an almost constant state of chaos. It is dyed black and cut into what one would describe as a fairly typical punk style, but it is usually in a state of utter disarray. Elias is also fond of piercings, with a lip piercing, eyebrow piercing, and several ear piercings. Elias also wears a disarmed .357 magnum pistol round around his neck, which is kept hidden under his shirt most of the time to avoid it being confiscated by teachers or other staff at Aurora High School.

For the most part he has a clear complexion though his body is dotted with many different scars and evidence of former injuries. His most noticeable former injuries include a number of self-inflicted wounds on both of his arms and a large vertical scar on his left arm from being stabbed with a penknife.

Elias has two tattoos, the smaller was done illegally in Germany when he was 15, and the larger one was done in America at 18. His first tattoo is a Valknut symbol behind his right ear. The second consists of a rather threatening looking depiction of the mythological Kraken running up his shoulder and the upper left side of his back. Its tentacles have very small, razor-like spines and they snake up the lower side of his neck.

In terms of dress, most of Elias’ clothes are mostly black and fit snugly. His pants and shirts are noticeably quite worn, having multiple tears and threads drifting about them. He has been known to wear tanktops when appropriate, and T-shirts with a very heavily worn black hoodie otherwise. At the time of the SOTF program, Elias was wearing a pair of grey/black jeans, combat boots, and a t-shirt with a hoodie underneath a beaten black military-styled jacket.

Biography: Elias Vandrier was born on February 25th, 1993 in Leipzig, Germany only a few months after the country’s reunification. His father was Martin Vandrier, an office worker who found himself jobless when the institution he worked for became superfluous following reunification, and was dissolved. The man’s family had made the move to America a many years ago, and he had not made any attempt to make contact. So alienated was he from his family that most of the pictures that he kept in his home were of his dog. When his wife took off one day, leaving Martin with Elias, he simply couldn’t bear life anymore. His body was found some time later having driven his car into a rock face.

Elias was found by neighbors who heard his infantile wailing. Officials were unable to track down any remaining family members or his mother. Martin had made an effort to forget about them, and it would appear that his wife had simply fled the country. Elias was quickly placed into the state’s care in a group home until they were able to track down his remaining family.

The environment that Elias grew up in was less than ideal, with no real parental figures or friends throughout his childhood. Information regarding his life comes from a number of evaluations that were written by his caregivers following incidents with other children. Most evaluations of his behaviour up until he was seven years old showed that Elias was very quiet and reserved, choosing to read or stay inside rather than socialising with other children – the only issues he ever had at that point were somewhat violent reactions to others when they attempted to speak to him, but it was nothing far out of the ordinary. Early on, he showed an inability to empathise or connect with others, but most of the homes that he was assigned to didn’t make much of an effort to address this behaviour. It is these issues that led to Elias spending most of his time darting from one temporary home to another, as he often fended off potential adoptive parents.

As he got older, Elias’ behavioral issues began to escalate. He spoke very little to his caregivers and was prone to violence when prompted to do much of anything that he wasn’t willing to do. As his guardians attempted to impose consequences, Elias became even more distant and emotionally unstable. Treatment was considered, but a few sessions of therapy were not enough to implement any serious action before Elias ran away from the group home.

Around the age of fourteen Elias formed a close friendship with a girl who was a recent addition to the group home he was in at the time. For the first time in years, he seemed to be getting along with someone. The girl had a similar attitude towards the system that they had both been drifting through, and like Elias was a misfit among the other kids. It was at this time Elias became more proactive in trying to find himself a permanent home, frequently prompting his case worker to try new avenues of approach to finding him a home. However, his good mood took a nosedive as within only a few months his friend was caught stealing hundreds of Euros from one of the women who ran the home. She was moved once again, and Elias was crushed.

At this point he seemed to snap completely. On his fifteenth birthday Elias lashed out at his case worker and the entire group home. After a fit of screaming and breaking anything he could find, Elias ran from the home and was gone for almost two weeks. During time he spent alone, Elias was subject to an entirely different world than he was used to. After a few failed attempts at theft where he was chased down and beaten by angry shopkeepers, Elias was quickly apprehended and taken back into custody. Up until this point Elias looked mostly unremarkable, but it was noticed that during the time he was away he had underwent a significant transformation, ditching the second-hand t-shirts and jeans for a fairly dark aesthetic and punk clothing that he’d mostly stolen from thrift stores. He also cut his hair himself, and dyed it black. They discovered he had stayed in a motel using money he had also stolen from one of the caregivers. All of that taken into account (and the fact that he was still ranting about wanting to burn down the group home when he was taken in), he was placed in a program for at-risk youth which included extensive counseling and continuance of academic studies.

Despite his best efforts to resist and beat the system, Elias eventually decided it was in his best interests to persist with his studies, although he still resisted attempts by a therapist to break his iron shell. By the time he was almost finished his first year of secondary school, he had done quite well for himself scholastically, proving that he could legitimately apply himself; that being said, he was still considered quite emotionally unstable. He was prescribed medication, but he doesn’t particularly enjoy the prospect of taking it. During the first few months he was on the medication, he would frequently stop taking it noting that he "felt better" without it. Within days his issues would return, and he now takes his meds steadily.

Elias had a number of issues with the other youths in the facility. It wasn't the friendliest place to begin with, but his misanthropic nature only contributed to many altercations with others. Most of the others in the facility had done far worse things than he had, and they didn’t seem to want to ever leave him alone. Frequently he had to defend himself from abuse, and his stubborn nature meant he didn't report this nearly as often as he should have.

When he was able, Elias would spend a few hours in a common room every day attempting to learn different skills. Some were rather unsuccessful, such as his attempt to learn how to knit. At other times, he found he was able to do things he’d never really even thought about before. For a few hours every day, he would sketch different people and objects in the common room and steadily became quite good at it. Elias also kept a journal in the same book and occasionally wrote stories or poetry when he felt like it. At one point, he spent a day trying to repair an old radio. In the small library that they had there was actually a book on electronic repair, and Elias read it cover to cover. At one point one of his social workers noticed his sudden interest and joking asked him to fix his cellphone.

Elias called his bluff and the social worker reluctantly gave it to him, curious as to if he even knew how. It was a very old Nokia, and the jack for charging the phone had gotten knocked loose inside. It took Elias a little over ten minutes to effectively fix it, much to the social worker’s relief. This brought up Elias’ spirits slightly. The institution noticed that the greatest positive increase in his behaviour and the greatest reduction in his aggression were after he found this hobby. Since then Elias has become extremely competent when it comes to hardwired electronics, as he is able to fix most consumer electronics rather quickly and has even charged a fee a few times at Aurora High School for doing so. It is also worth noting that during his time both in the institution and in Aurora that he was part of an online community that helped propagate the versions of SOTF via torrent files. The monitoring software at the institution was substandard and Elias was able to evade it, though he gradually grew disinterested after he moved to America.

It was around this time Elias felt he was ready to leave the home. He had already prompted his caregivers to attempt to find any remaining family many years ago, but the incident in the group home and his subsequent institutionalization put a hold on that. As he was approaching the time when he was ready to leave, he prompted his case worker to make another attempt to find any remaining family. Following a lengthy search and the extensive effort of that devoted case worker (who owed him for a free cell-phone repair), the authorities were able to track down Elias’ closest living relative – his aunt, Clara Vandrier. She was a successful accountant who lived alone in Seattle, Washington. there are very few available records of Elias as a child. Because Martin had intentionally shut himself off from his family, it made the process of locating relatives extremely difficult. Normally they would never have found her, but as it had turned out though, Clara had recently made an effort to track down her brother and was completely unaware of his suicide. She felt she was partially to blame for Martin’s death - having lost contact with him - and felt responsible for Elias’ well-being. Clara met Elias shortly after she found out about him, and strangely enough they got along.

It took the two of them a few months to obtain the necessary paperwork to do so, but Elias eventually made the move to Seattle with Clara. As much as he couldn’t bring himself to settle into one place and to remain essentially the ward of someone he had to real connection to, the stability was rather welcome. With Seattle came the chance to leave his experiences behind and the world that had been so unstable, and most importantly a chance to be left alone to this own devices.

Elias never fully integrated very well into Aurora High School. He is older than his classmates by almost a year on account of the fact that he skipped a year of primary school. The language barrier was initially difficult, but Elias already had a fairly basic knowledge of English, and after a few years in America it was easy enough to become fluent in the language. That being said, he speaks with a very strong German accent. His voice is light and sharp enough that he is understandable, but it is very easy to tell from hearing him that he isn’t from the United States. With that came some small degree of mockery from other students, but it came to a halt once a few of them saw that Elias wasn’t willing to simply sit around and take it.

For the most part, Elias keeps to himself. Academically, he gets by with decent enough marks to “fly under the radar” though he does frequently miss classes. Very few people ever get a chance to speak with him, as he is what many would refer to as a “loner” though he is certainly noticed on account of his demeanor. Most of the time he is likely to be quite curt with others, having very little regard for social standards or politeness. He considers many of his peers far too sheltered and with a very poor knowledge of the world around them.

It should probably be mentioned that Elias doesn't outright hate any of his peers. A few times some friendlier students tried to befriend him, and he was invited to a few parties during the 11th grade. He reluctantly attended a few of them, but found it incredibly difficult to relate to any of the others. Things like high-school drama and parties were foreign concepts to him, and he has an intense dislike for social butterflies. A few times he was able to mingle with a few of the wall-flowers and enjoyed the conversation (As far as Elias enjoys any interaction). Elias also hasn't made much of an effort to form any kind of close relationships with anyone - the limit of his closeness with other human beings have been the few sexual partners he has had over the years, but there was really no emotional connection whatsoever. He drifts between preferences for men and women but his sexual orientation is mostly ambiguous, and he can't seem to be romantically attracted to anyone.

Where his future is concerned, Elias is hoping to make it through the American school system and then continue on with a career in computer science or hardware, though mostly to simply have a job that can provide him some kind of basic necessities. In reality, he isn’t entirely sure what it is that he wants out of his life now that he has a semblance of a stable place to live and a static home life. His entire life thus far has been a struggle for self-preservation and to simply avoid having to deal with being under a microscope, and his greatest wish is to simply be free and on his own. Elias is still continuing treatment for ongoing mental issues, taking medication and regularly attending therapy once a week. The medication is keeping him mostly calm and level headed, but he still refuses to talk to a therapist or even open up to virtually anyone. Whether or not he actually improves beyond his current state is tenuous, at best.

Advantages: One thing that may give him an edge over other students is his capacity to emotionally disconnect himself from a situation and look at it very calmly and rationally. In the end, Elias is looking out for himself and would not hesitate to make difficult decisions should the situation call for it. Hardened by the institution, Elias is no stranger to violence or threats and can face such situations with a much more level-headed attitude than his peers. The number of fights that would break out among some of the youth gave Elias some degree of experience in physical confrontations. Throughout his life, he has relied upon his ability to adapt and change to a situation to carry him through, and that may prove quite useful to him. While some students may break down and fall apart when faced with an impossible situation, Elias is more likely to keep struggling to the bitter end.
Disadvantages: Elias is still extremely emotionally unstable. While he might respond to threatening situations in a fairly level-headed manner, his calm rationale in that situation may very well direct him to respond with a disproportionate amount of violence, rather than attempting to talk out the situation. Despite his experience in regards to fighting, Elias is not very physically capable. Even during fights in the institution, he rarely walked away totally unscathed. He has no friends at Aurora High School, and finds it extremely difficult to trust others or to mesh well with a group. He doesn’t have especially strong social skills, and may have difficulty communicating with others. As well, if he runs out of medication his mental issues may run out of control as a result.
Edited by Shiola, Jan 18 2012, 02:14 AM.
V7:
Erika P. Stieglitz
Tyrell K. Lahti
Caroline S. Ford
Henry A. Sparks
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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Elias Vandrier is temporarily DENIED pending serious revision.

The profile does not match the profile template due to an extra space between School and Hobbies and Interests. Please be sure to make sure that your profile matches the template exactly.

One of the first serious issues with this profile is the age. At 21 years of age, Elias should not be in a normal high school. He should be attending either a continuation school or Adult Education program.

The second serious issue is his criminal record. I have created a timeline based on the information provided within the profile to help me track the serious events in Elias' life. If I have understood this information correctly, Elias met a nameless but kindred spirited girl at 14 while in some form of group care. This girl was later removed from his life. On his 15th birthday, he committed arson and seriously injured his care provider which may or may not have earned him attempted murder charges. I am not familiar with the German legal system, but I do know that arson and assault are serious crimes. Until he is 16, he is homeless.

During his 16th year, he begins committing more crimes like theft and engaging in sex with multiple partners. During his 17th year of life, he watching his most continuous sex partner/care giver get murdered and is then arrested for the crimes he committed at 16. The arson and assault charge from his 15th birthday combine with his theft charges and he spends 16 months in custody. If my counting is correct, that means that Elias turns 18 while in custody. He is no longer a minor.

This is where we have a problem. I have looked at US Immigration information. Elias would not be granted permission to come to the US. He has both an administrative record because of his unnamed illness that makes him so aggressive and combative AND an established criminal record. This would immediately disqualify him for approval by US officials. His aunt cannot even argue that she needs to have him come to the US because she is his guardian because Elias is a legal adult.

The third serious issue is the inconsistency within the profile. There are several instances where information is provided that immediately contradicts what was previously stated. For example:
"Elias can be both difficult to miss and completely invisible."
"It is dyed black and cut into a fairly typical punk style, which can sometimes take the form of a Mohawk, but it is usually in a state of utter disarray."

Also, there is a serious logic issue with this section:
"His father was Martin Vandrier, an office worker who found himself jobless when the institution he worked for became superfluous following reunification, and was dissolved. Most of his family had fled to West Germany during the mid-1960s, or were shot attempting to do so."

How old was Martin when Elias was born? I checked the math, and unless Martin is older than 30, he was born BEFORE the Berlin Wall was errected. And prior to the construction of the Berlin Wall in 1961, it was incredibly easy to move West. Why did the family wait until it was incredibly dangerous and virtually impossible to try and leave?

Also, please clarify the meaning of this sentence after the comma: "His German birth certificate had been lost owing to incompetence on the part of bureaucrats in the eastern part of the country, a made the difficult transition to the west."

From here on out, I'm going to just go point-by-point through the rest of the biography and look at the sections that need revision. Original text will be in yellow, my comments in white.

"Officials were unable to track down any remaining family members or his mother, and Elias was quickly placed into the state’s care in a group home."

If this is happening at Reunification, then the West German Government should have been looking through West German records for any relatives. Especially if it was known that Martin’s family has fled to the West. The German government should have been hunting down any available family for Elias because according to German Civil Code § 1606, "needy family members who cannot earn their own living and maintain themselves have the right to be supported by their closest vertical relative. This first and foremost applies to dependent or needy children (including adult ones) regardless of family status...."

Even if we contend that the German government was unable to locate anyone, even Elias' mother and continue on, we run into continued problems.

"Most evaluations of his behaviour up until he was seven years old showed that Elias was very quiet and reserved, choosing to read or stay inside rather than socialising with other children – the only issues he ever had at that point were somewhat violent reactions to others when they attempted to speak to him. Early on, he showed an inability to empathise or connect with others, but most of the homes that he was assigned to didn’t make much of an effort to address this behaviour."

"As he got older, Elias’ issues began to escalate. He spoke very little to his caregivers and was prone to violence when prompted to do much of anything that he wasn’t willing to do. As his guardians attempted to impose consequences, Elias became even more distant and emotionally unstable."


Why wasn’t Elias institutionalized for these outbursts? Orphan children in former Eastern Bloc countries at that time were institutionalized for far less. Even if he was not institutionalized for basically displaying sociopath tendencies, why was he not receiving treatment of some kind? Did he not have some form of caseworker who was responsible for tracking his progress and living conditions? Especially since he appears to switch facilities fairly frequently, as referenced later in the bio by his lack of a stable living situation.

"Even at this young age Elias was well-adapted to surviving on his own, wandering from town to town if only to get as far away as possible from the authorities and the life he had left behind."

In what way is Elias well-adapted to surviving on his own at the age of 15? Prior to this, all of his physical needs has been provided for courtesy of the homes he lived in. Please elaborate on how he is well-adapted to having no home, no food, and no protection.

I have to admit, Elias' orphan background, outsider behavior, punk transformation, sudden adeptness at theft, electronic repair, and older "guardian" with whom he is sexually involved makes him seem very similar to Lisbeth Salander, the heroine from Stieg Larssons' Millennium Series. I believe this is purely unintentional, but I thought I should make you aware of it.

"Elias could only stand in the cold empty street and stare in horror at Erich’s broken body. The shock was less from any attachment he had to Erich, and more that the gravity of his current situation set in upon him."

I have to admit, the inability to connect to anyone or care about anyone, including people that he resides with long-term and has had intimate relationships really, really raises the Pre-Built Player issue.

"He was placed in a program for at-risk youth which included extensive counseling and continuance of academic studies. Elias had already missed two full years of school, and as a result was two years ahead of his peers in age. Despite his best efforts to resist and beat the system, Elias eventually decided it was in his best interests to persist with his studies, although he still resisted attempts by a therapist to break his iron shell of cold emotionlessness. By the time he was almost finished his sentence, he had done quite well for himself scholastically, proving that he could legitimately apply himself; that being said, he was still considered quite emotionally unstable. He was prescribed medication, but he doesn’t even consider taking any, and has found a number of clever ways to fool people into thinking that he does."

By my calculations, Elias missed two and a half years of school. He made up all that schooling in less than 16 months? Also, the wording of it makes it sounds as if he not only caught up on the missing time, he has worked to make himself current which would make time in an American high school unnecessary.

Also, if he has never taken his medication for his still unnamed condition, then how is he any better? What suddenly makes him able to control his aggressive behavior when simple conversation used to push him over the edge? Don’t his doctors check his blood levels to monitor the strength of his prescription? And no one has noticed he never takes his medication? Ever?

"Following a lengthy search and the extensive effort of a devoted social worker, the authorities were able to track down Elias’ closest living relative – his aunt, Clara Vandrier."

Why had this aunt not been located previously, especially if she has the paper trail that would have been necessary to emigrate?

"It took the two of them a few months to obtain the necessary paperwork to do so, but Elias eventually made the move to Seattle with Clara. As much as he couldn’t bring himself to settle into one place and to remain essentially the ward of someone he had to real connection to, the stability was rather welcome."

As previously mentioned, Elias must have an serious administrative and criminal record. He is an arsonist who permanantly maimed someone in the comission of his crime and he is prone to violent outbursts at little to no provocation. The US, more than likely, would deny his application, especially since he is no longer a minor.

Unless, of course, Elias argued that he has diminished mental capacity and required someone to care for him, which would bring us to a whole different issue.

"He is older than anyone in any of his classes by three years, though his youthful appearance led many people to never question his age. The language barrier was initially difficult, but Elias already had a fairly basic knowledge of English, and after a few years in America it was easy enough to become fluent in the language. That being said, he speaks with a very strong German accent. His voice is light and sharp enough that he is understandable, but it is very easy to tell from hearing him that he isn’t from the United States. With that came some small degree of mockery from other students, but it came to a halt once a few of them saw Elias’ aggressive side."

He is an English Language Learner. All of his teachers would know the important information about Elias because of the extra scrutiny put on ELL students thanks to American educational policies. Also, Elias is WAY over 18. If he got physical or threatened other students, especially students who were minors, he would be removed to a continuation school or an Adult Education program very quickly since the school would have accepted him on special grounds.

"The longest time he’d spent living in one place was just under a year before he moved to America – now he has been living with Clara for almost four years."

If I have counted the other amounts of time provided in the biography correctly, living with his aunt for nearly four years would make almost 22 instead of 21. However, I may simply misunderstand some of Elias' time line. Please clarify to avoid confusion.

Also, there is no mention of Elias' hobbies of reading, writing, or sketching. If you intended to keep them as hobbies and interests, please include them somewhere in the biography.

In the Advantages section, you mention that ,"One thing that may give him an edge over other students is his capacity to emotionally disconnect himself from a situation and look at it very calmly and rationally. In the end, Elias is looking out for himself and would not hesitate to do something rather heartless should the situation call for it."

Again, this sounds very much like a Pre-Made Player. As Pre-Made Players are not permitted in v5 pregame or v5 proper, you may want to seriously consider dialling back the severity of this behavior in order to get your character approved.

You also mention that, "Throughout his life, he has relied upon subtle manipulation of those around him to work to his advantage, and this skill could easily carry through in SOTF."

At no point in the biography did you mention how Elias manipulates people, unless that is a reference to his having sex with Erich and multiple other partners. I do not see how that could be applied to his classmates, especially in light of his remote and withdrawn nature. Also, the manipulation trait coupled with the utter lack and regard for other people reinforces the Pre-Made Player vibes.

In the Disadvantages section, most characters are not adapted to living in the wilderness nor are they physically imposing. Most teenagers also have a very difficult time facing their own mortality and do not respond well to the idea of them dying. These are not legitimate disadvantages and will need to be corrected, please. If Elias has difficult communicating with people as stated in this section, how will he manipulate them?

Please keep in mind that a character's Advantages and Disadvantages should be fairly evenly matched. In the case of Elias, if left unchanged, are disproportionate to his advantages.

Remember, in v5 as in v4, we are stressing a high level of realism with our characters and their actions. To be quite honest, Elias Vandrier has had a life that seems more suited as a plot for a Hollywood movie than as a life for a Seattle high schooler. He is in need of serious revision before he can be accepted into pregame.

While this review may seem harsh, I thought it best to go over all of the issues at once in order to reduce the likelihood of having you do multiple edits. If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me so that I can clarify anything and help you get Elias ready to be approved as soon as possible.
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Shiola
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There may be further inconsistencies, but all of the major issues appear to be cleared up. The entire backstory regarding any kind of criminal past has been removed almost completely, and the timeline was restructured for realism's sake. Please tell me if I missed anything. His age was changed and to clear up some of the timeline in the profile, it goes a bit like this:

1-15 - Group Home
15-17 - Institutionalized
17-19 - Aurora High School (came in the 10th grade)
Edited by Shiola, Jan 17 2012, 04:07 PM.
V7:
Erika P. Stieglitz
Tyrell K. Lahti
Caroline S. Ford
Henry A. Sparks
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BetaKnight
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In some cultures, what I do is considered normal.
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