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Deep Warm Drunk; (Day 9) Private~
Topic Started: Jun 6 2011, 01:40 AM (1,985 Views)
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((Autumn O'Leary continued from I Was a Teenage Hand Model ))

Autumn wandered through the woods, wide eyed. Day nine. She hadn't slept more than ten minutes since day.....four maybe? She couldn't tell anymore.

She tried to sleep a little. She always woke up at the slightest sound. Twigs snapping, leaves rustling, they stabbed at her just as she was drifting.

Then it wasn't that anymore. She'd reached a point were she was so tired that even the stray noises and the possibility of danger wasn't enough to anchor her to wakefulness. She slept for a few minutes and dreamed. Autumn dreamed that she was back home. Her parents loved her, Nik was taking her to prom, Evelyn and her were going to the mall later. It was all the things that didn't happen even in real life. In there, Autumn was loved. Perfect. She'd wake up with a start, feeling angry and empty.

It hurt too much to sleep and see that. She started poking herself with a stick to stop herself from sleeping. It worked for a while until she unknowing prodded too hard and broke the skin. She bled.

It was a bad strategy. She started walking aimlessly instead. Autumn was all alone. By now the backs of her legs felt like they were being held together by a thread of floss, up and down her calves. Sometimes if she let her mind wander it just became a gruesome slide show of the dead she'd seen, her teachers and friends. It was a power point in her mind awash with blood. Sometimes she thought she saw a figure she recognized, but it would be gone when she took a second look.

Autumn took a moment and slumped against a tree. She hugged it like it was her best friend. For the first time in longer than she could remember, she felt like she might cry.

A soft hand reached out and slowly caressed her face. She looked up. A blood soaked Evelyn was cupping her cheek in her hand and smiling warmly. Her hair was matted down with dirt and the red bloomed from her stomach, trailing down to her legs, dripping below her into a puddle. Autumn's face twisted and she shoved at her as the tears over flowed.


She stumbled away from her. She was gone the second she looked up, but she was frazzled.

"Get away," she whispered, growling. "I hate you."

Autumn staggered towards a collection of buildings. In the dirty window of one of them she saw what was possibly her reflection. She was nothing like the pretty girl she once had been. Tear streaked face caked with dirt and greasy disgusting hair. Her whole body itched. She wanted to tear her own skin off.

"It's a trick. It's not real," she said, looking at the red haired girl in the window that was mimicking her.

From somewhere the giggles of a girl floated down. They sounded so real. A lurch in her heart told her it was Evelyn. She was laughing at her. That stupid bitch was always jealous. She put her hands over her ears and hunched over.


It kept on. She got her gun out and held it protectively to her chest.

"I'll shut you up, you whore," she muttered. Autumn ran into the pub where the laughter was coming from.

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Autumn opened the door a fraction. She couldn’t see for sure who was in there. She peaked in. Her hand was trembling on her gun and her blood was pounding in her ears. There was a familiar girl’s voice from the other side. It was a voice she knew. It told her not to be afraid.

What if it was Evelyn again? There was a window. She could just look in and see. No, Evelyn was dead. She was definitely dead. Autumn saw her die. Unless she’d faked it. Would she fake getting hurt to draw out Nik and then….maybe….maybe she…..

Autumn shook her head. It was impossible. She was just hallucinating from not being able to sleep. Evelyn, the disgusting ragged girl she saw, the laughing, they were all in her head. But out of the corner of her eye something in the window moved towards the door.


Autumn knocked hard on the glass. Her heart sped up. Her efforts produced results and someone came to meet her. Her face blossomed into a flawless smile and opposite her through the glass, Niklas Kronwall smiled a goofy smile back at her. While Autumn was walking up to the ice rink she tried not to think about how cute he was, she had to stay clam and not seem like some crazy girl. When she walked up she’d seen a group of kids walking out of the rink after hockey practice. In her mind though, there was no sound from the kids. She couldn’t hear anything, but for some reason that didn’t seem out of place to her.

She had her hand resting on the glass. Nik motioned that he would be right out. She blushed almost the same color of her hair. Autumn walked over to the penalty box and climbed the wall, trying to be graceful about it. Suddenly she was embraced.

She choked. Autumn coughed and sputtered as she was brought back to the present in which Fiona had pulled her into a hug.

“…haven’t seen you since, well, that day with Nik and stuff…”

Autumn froze for a moment before realizing what had happened. Her eyes shot open and she started to struggle and scream until Fiona let her go. She stumbled backwards into a bar and held her gun up shakily.

“You want my stuff don’t you?!” she shouted. “My food. My weapons.”

Autumn bit her lip and looked up at the girl through the stringy strands of hair obscuring her face.

“You’re trying to trick me. It was all you! You were pretending to be Evelyn to confuse me. It was you in the forest. You’re the one who was laughing at me, pretending to be that closet-fatty slut. You don’t know anything about me,” she growled. “Her insides are on fire now,” she whispered.

She hated Evelyn because it was easier than thinking about missing her. She hated Fiona now for convincing her that it was real.

“You think it’s funny to mess with people? I’ll show you how funny it is! I’ll do it. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone. I don’t,” she said through clenched teeth.

Her head hurt. She had goose bumps. She was holding onto her gun so hard her fingers were a sickly shade of white-purple.
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Autumn’s hand was numb from her grasp on the gun. Her other hand was clutching the edge of the bar behind her. It kept her upright and steady, but it also kept her from curling her palm into itself and cutting her own skin with her nails. Her finger nails dug into the wood, quaking along with the rest of her body.

The pretty girl didn’t so much resemble a girl anymore. Her anger was all that had kept her standing. She could feel it in her chest, in her limbs, warm and acerbic.

Fiona recalled the looting at the house of mirrors. It was true; she could have taken the supplies, but she didn’t. Autumn had given her that gun herself. Her hand loosened on the bar and her eyebrows came up a fraction of an inch. Her gun was still held at Fiona.

“I gave you the gun…” she murmured.

She was pointing Nik’s gun at Fiona. There were brief flashes of Evelyn and Nik rotting together, hand in decayed hand.

Her lips parted slightly, but enough for them to tremble. She pulled her hand away from the edge of the bar and covered her mouth. The fast motion made her falter. Her knees buckled. She recovered and held the gun forward again, though now she was hunched. The gun was pointed just to the right of Fiona.

Fiona pleaded her case. She looked nothing like Evelyn at all. Autumn knew that. Then why did she think it was her playing a trick?

The light flooded in. Evelyn was never there. Autumn pursed her mouth and bit down on her lip. Her chest shook and there were thin, unbearable strings of pain running down her throat. Fiona blurred in front of her and came back into focus. Autumn so did not want to cry in front of this girl.

“No. You’re nothing alike,” she agreed quietly. Her voice cracked.

It was all in her head. The gun felt so heavy. She began to lower it. She imagined Evelyn because she missed her. She’d missed her for a long long time. Evelyn had betrayed her trust back when they were just regular girls in school, and they couldn’t be friends anymore. The gun clattered to the floor.

She didn’t trust anyone after that. Her best friend, her parents, the boy she liked. Trusting them had only ever hurt her. It was safer to rely on yourself. The island was an easy transition for her. Well, not easy, but she was already in a mindset to look out for herself and no one else. Autumn took a step forward. Her tattered flats creaked against the floor.

But no one can do that forever. No matter how hard she tried to bury the feeling, she wanted someone to stand by her.

"We have to keep going, Autumn. It's all we have right now. You shoot me, and I'll shoot you, and it doesn't solve anything...

Please," Fiona finished.

It wasn’t fair. No one should have to stay alone. No one should be burdened with shielding themselves constantly. Running on resentment is a method of staying alive, but not a way to live. She just wanted someone. She just wanted to feel someone by her. Somewhere down the line Autumn became desperate enough to start making dead figments for company.

Her arms became goosebumps and she took the last step forward to stand right in front of Fiona.

And she cracked.

Autumn threw her arms around Fiona’s neck and squeezed her tightly. Her cheek was almost touching Fiona’s.

“Fine,” she shakily breathed out.

“Just don’t leave m-“

Autumn’s breath caught. There was a loud noise like a car back fire and then it was silent and still. She could see the strands of her hair start to come forward from the force of her falling.

Her body slid down Fiona and crumpled into a heap on the floor. She never knew that Kitty had been hiding in the back room.

Blood began to pool out from the wound around her head.

Cherry waves.

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