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V5 Concepts Thread; Let 'em loose here
Topic Started: May 8 2011, 04:08 PM (28,104 Views)
Laurels
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I have a few character ideas:

1. Rachael Langdon: a girl who has not said a word for two years. No one knows why she stopped talking, but she has been in therapy to understand her problem. Victim of bullying due to her nature. Still gets all A's in her classes
2. Claire Monaghan: a girl who is really into film. I saw there was a Film Club, and she could be in that. She is pretty talkative and can be kind of annoying.
3. Peter Nyquist: a boy who is very withdrawn, quiet, and bullied. I think I might have him get involved in a plot with the character below. Watches a lot of TV due to his social anxiety.
4. Lori Danvers: a girl who got pregnant early in the school year. Her boyfriend left her, but she plans to keep the baby. Should be near her delivery if she gets involved in the game, and possibly put in a storyline with Peter.

Any objections or problems?
Edited by Laurels, Oct 4 2011, 05:51 PM.
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Well, let me ask you this. Is there anything with pregnant characters that haven't been done? Has anyone delivered in the game?

Alright. I will think about the characters and drop one when the time comes. Is there anything else I need to do, such as make profiles and such?
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Okay. I'll consider that. I am feeling weak about her now, so she might get dropped. I'll mull it over, but looking through some threads, I might drop her or Peter. I had an idea of a story in the game of her and Peter, but if she doesn't work, I might retool Peter.
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Alright, I think I have it settled.

Rachael and Claire are the same. Rachael is unable to speak for some unknown reason. No one in school knows what she sounds like. She did learn sign language and uses a palm pilot to speak. Claire is a very social movie geek. She is easy to befriend and is easy to be friends with, but she can be kind of annoying.

I'm scrapping Peter. I think it's obvious how he will turn out, and I don't want to fall into that. Lori Danvers is now Laura Nyquist. Instead of being pregnant, Laura was pregnant and is a teen mom. She balances school, a job, and her responsibilities as a mother to her one year old daughter Sophia. Sophia's father is not around.

Posted Image

Also, does anyone know how to use Face Maker better?
Edited by Laurels, Oct 6 2011, 03:41 PM.
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My issue isn't so much how they look (I love how the three look), but I just want it to look cleaner. Most of the images I see are cleaner and shinier, and I just want mine to watch when we make the inevitable roster poster.
Edited by Laurels, Oct 6 2011, 08:11 PM.
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Yeah, Megaupload said I reached my download limit, so I might try this later. Thank you for the link.
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Alright. Here are my better images.

http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/824/sotfdecisions2.png/

The image thing is broken

Edited by Laurels, Oct 8 2011, 09:33 AM.
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She definitely sounds like someone who would harass Rachael, especially since Rachael is also in the fighting tournament.
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Stark
Nov 11 2011, 11:56 AM
@Laurelena: As far as Rachael goes, I'd suggest putting a little more thought into the concept, doing the research, and moreover, not letting the disability dominate the character. But then I may be biased.
I can understand your concern. However, in the time since I conceived Rachael Langdon, I have done a bit of thinking with her character. Here is how I described Rachael in The Reputation Thread:

Quote:
 
Shy quiet girl. Rendered mute from an event in her past, refuses to explain what happened. Her parents won't say either. Bullied by people who see her as tiny and weak, or want to try to get her to talk. Mainly communicates by writing her thoughts on a notepad, but also knows ASL and uses a voice program on a laptop for oral presentations and speeches. Member of newspaper and English club. Practitioner of yoga and kickboxing to defend herself, although she still refuses to fight back. My "Ego".


(Ego refers to how I view my characters under the Freudian trio of Ego [Rachael], Superego [Claire], and Id [Laura])

When I was coming up with my characters, I had seen the Ingmar Bergman film Persona, and I was completely blown away. I thought would be interesting to have a character who can't speak and has to handle this life or death situation lacking one of her five basic senses. For her disability, I tried to take elements from media like Persona, The House of the Spirits, Speak, and Little Miss Sunshine.

My idea of her in game is that she has to speak through other mediums. She mainly carries a notepad and pen and writes her messages and shares them with others. In other cases, she uses ASL, but mostly at home to easily communicate with her parents, as all three took ASL classes following the loss of her voice. Rachael also has a laptop and uses one of those programs that converts text to audio for presentations and special events.

The main reason I am doing this stuff is because I feel it makes her a much more mysterious character. I identify her as my "Ego" because she is a very withdrawn person, and you can only rely on what she writes down. She won't speak about the incident that caused her disability, and her parents refuse to speak either. In Francois Truffaut's Fahrenheit 451, he didn't have text appear on screen until the very end of the film to show how the society removed written word (not including books that appeared in the movie, but the opening credits were delivered by voice over). For Rachael, she will not have any dialogue that isn't conveyed through some medium, whether it is on a notepad or written on something else. She will not talk (until I find it necessary) and she will not have inner monologue (again, until I find it necessary). This means that everyone around Rachael will know very little about her unless she presents it to them, so her true thoughts are withheld from others.

Of course, I have been developing her outside of her disability. She lives with her parents, Aaron and Leanna Langdon, and her older sister Bridget (older by eight years) lives in Virginia, Rachael's home state. The Langdons (sans Bridget) moved to Seattle before Rachael's freshman year due to her father getting a job in one of Seattle's shipyards. Rachael has a very close relationship with her mother, a music teacher. Her mother introduced Rachael to lots of various musicians from classical composers like Richard Wagner to current artists like Bjork. She and her mom would also go to a gym for yoga. Following Rachael's incident, her mother signed her up for kickboxing so Rachael could better defend herself from bullies and other people. This put Rachael in very good shape and made her fairly strong, but Rachael mainly practices for recreation and not as much a genuine desire to be a kickboxer.

In school, she is sometimes bullied by students who try to provoke her to speak. Despite her kickboxing training, Rachael is still afraid of conflict. She does have a few friends that I have established with other handlers, such as Inky's Alina Rivette and Doc Balance's Garrett Booth and Alfred. Still, she isn't too popular, as most people know her as "that mute girl", but those who get close usually learn about her interest in music, writing, and kickboxing.

Rachael also dresses fairly mousy. Even though yoga and kickboxing has left her very toned and slim, she still wears very large clothing to hide her body shape. She's only 5'1", so these clothes tend to make her look smaller. She usually wears a dark green hoodie and a black floor length skirt, and in warm weather, she usually wears very loose and long sleeve shirts and lighter colored skirts. She isn't aware that her clothing tends to hide her body and makes her look small, but she is simply comfortable in this type of clothing.

Alright, I know I am overindulging in character description, but if anything, I am aware to make Rachael a lot more than her disability. I am already working on a possible love interest for her. Admittedly, when looking over my three concepts, Rachael is the one character I can envision killing in the game. Not so much that she would become a villain, but more along the lines that she would run into people who aim to hurt her, so she has to fight, so she might be more of an anti-villain. I can easily picture her taking out other characters, while it is a lot harder with Claire and Laura.

Now that I have overly described Rachael, is there anyone who feels that they might want to do any relationships or possible story lines with her? If you want to be integral to her development (such as having a person who could render her mute), please PM me and we can work out details.

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@Beta I understand your issue with that. I don't know why, but I never considered using more technology like a cell phone to show her thoughts. I always figured that a notepad might be easier for her to communicate with since it would be easier to carry around and probably cheaper to get more. I considered that the better technology might be better for special occasions like school projects and speeches. That stuff might be expensive, and it might be broken by people who bully Rachael.

But yeah, most of this will be rendered moot on the island, since she can't write/type while in a gun fight. I'll probably consider having her talk using a cell phone, like Meru from Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, while in Pregame, and probably have her switch to more primitive methods on the island. The phone can still have problems, such as battery life or other issues, but it probably can include a voice program. I'm sure there are nice phones like that.

I know I clearly have little idea on how the subject works, but it is good to discuss this now. I can at least try to avoid problems before they happen.

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@Beta I wasn't aware that a school would provide a computer. Also, I don't think people would constantly break it as much as they could possibly break it. If they do have to pay, they would probably back off. It was mostly a concern I thought of when this idea was raised, but it doesn't have to be an issue. In that case, I'll probably have Rachael use the computer in school and a cell phone out of school. Maybe I will drop the sign language aspect.

@Stark I figure with the bullying, it isn't so much that she is a mute and they treat her like shit, but that they know that she can't talk and try to provoke her to speak. In the film Persona, the nurse with the mute character nearly throws a pot of boiling water at the mute which causes the mute to speak. She also sits the mute down and accuses the mute of not loving her son. Provocation of Rachael could simply be saying some rude things to her, or trying to startle her, or even being generally threatening to her. Most people can probably see her as a doormat and might try to take advantage of her knowing that she is afraid to stand up for herself.

As for how I am writing Rachael, I can see that I might be having an issue with her being written from her disability. I don't think I would try to make it completely define her, such as having every scene she is in involve someone saying "She's mute", "There's Rachael, that mute girl", or even have Rachael constantly point out her mutism. I would rather her play out more like a silent film character, where she does a bunch of actions without speaking. Dialogue in those films were very minimal, and most of the things characters say could be interpreted by the audience based on the emotion of the character and the way they are acting in response to the situation.

I thought I had a few things to define Rachael outside of her disability. She's shy, she's very close to her mother, she likes writing and music, practices yoga and kickboxing, and tends to be very quiet in situations, usually being more of a listener or a pat on the shoulder. I sort of figured that Rachael would act this way even if she could talk. She doesn't say much around people she isn't entirely comfortable with, including teachers, but near people she is close to, she would open up more and be more sociable. It's kind of how I am with people. People in my high school knew me by some very certain hobbies and traits, but in closer circles like my college's student journal, I'm a bit more vocal and have a clearer personality. If anything, the muteness is simply an addition to Rachael's preexisting personality. The only issue is that it creates a clear separation between her and everyone else, kind of like how Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye described how he would become a deaf-mute so people would get tired of his style of communication and not form close bonds with him, except that Rachael isn't opposed to companionship as much as nervous and shy around others.

Let me know if there is anything else I should do, such as suggestions to really make her more three-dimensional.

Also, just a note for everyone, Rachael's name is spelled with two a's, with the additional "a" between "h" and "e". This isn't so much to be nitpicky but to separate my character Rachael with at least one other Rachel I know is in this version.
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Well, looking over Isaac, I have two notable reactions:

1. You seem to have him defined a lot based on his drinking problem. While having a vice is good, you might need to have him associated more with other interests. As you can see above, I had issues because one of my characters was heavily defined by her disability, so I had to expand upon her personality. We understand that Isaac has a drinking problem, is rich, and is pretty apathetic towards most of his classmates. What are some of his hobbies? Is he involved in any clubs? How does he tend to behave in school? Is he doing well academically? Does he have a future planned? Questions like that are things you need to use to look at your character.

2. I can see Isaac as being possibly involved with one of my characters, Laura. She's rich, and so he might hang out with her. If you want Isaac to be involved in a personal storyline with Laura, PM me. I will discuss the details with you, and if you agree to it, we can plan it around the game. Secrecy demanded.

Still, this is a neat start, and hopefully we get some interesting characters and tales out of you. Welcome to the site.
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Okay, well this is good stuff, so at least you have an idea on where the character is going to go. I look forward to this in pregame
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@Slamexo Just reading Alex's profile, I have a few ideas on how to make her less of a premade killer.

1. With her anger and cynicism, maybe give her some vices. Maybe she gets so angry and frustrated that she relaxes by doing something like smoking, drinking, drug use, eating candy, etc. It doesn't have to be an unhealthy thing though. This carries into idea #2.

2. Give her an outlet. Maybe she takes her frustrations out by writing or painting. Maybe she has a blog, or maybe she participates in art contests. If you have her get involved in one or both of these fields, it might provide a good outlet for her, one that allows her to channel her emotions into something constructive. It's also in fields like this that she might gain some friends, or at least draw the attention of a teacher who could look into her home life. If she's in some sort of community, people might be willing to reach out to her.

3. Give her what TvTropes calls a "Morality Pet". Give her something that allows her to not be so cynical and mean. Maybe a childhood stuffed animal, or maybe an actual human. See if there is another handler's character who Alex might be willing to drop her guard around, or even create one to fill that role, now that you have room for a third concept since the ski incident.

Those are the ideas I have. I don't expect you to use all three, but these are things I think can flesh Alex out.
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I haven't updated my concepts in a while, so let me simply explain all three of my characters to you:

Rachael Langdon


Claire Monaghan


Laura Nyquist


I know I have divulged a lot of information, but I really needed to put this into words so I could keep track on how I am progressing. I also don't want to start another relationship thread. So, if you want to be acquainted with any of my concepts, let me know. I am looking for enemies for Rachael (people who see her as a doormat), people for Claire's movie (you could also post here and read about the movie if you are interested), and Laura can always take more definite friends and enemies, as well as people who could be the father her baby (if you want to be the father, PM me, because we will have to discuss this).

Any thoughts? Suggestions?
Edited by Laurels, Dec 12 2011, 11:26 PM.
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