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V5 Concepts Thread; Let 'em loose here
Topic Started: May 8 2011, 04:08 PM (28,062 Views)
Emprexx Plush
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Paige/EP/Plush, they/them pronouns pls thanks :3
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Hiya folks! I apologize if this is a bit sub-par, V5 will be my first SotF so I'm still getting the hang of it. I've got three concepts so far:

Garrett Jairus: A 17-year old male who is a dedicated Stoic. For those unfamiliar with Stoicism, it is a Greek Philosophy in which negative emotions(anger, lust, fear, pride, etc.) are identified as the root cause of all of humanities problems. A stoic still feels these emotions, but he doesn't express them, and does what he can to subvert them. The number one goal of a stoic is to never act upon any of these emotions. Garrett became a practitioner of Stoicism after his tendency to be over-emotional ended up harming his relationships and development early in his childhood. He has trouble making friends because people can find his pure-logic analysis to be a bit creepy at times, but he has found friends within the Speech and Debate club, as well as with active participation in the Chess club. He's taken Alfred Stoke(see second concept) under his wing, helping protect him in his new and unfamiliar environment.
Ethos(credibility) statement: I'm a reformed Stoic myself, so I know the advantages and disadvantages of the system very well, and I'd love to play out this sort of character in a SotF situation.

Alfred Stoke: A 16 year old male who has recently joined the public school system. Home-schooled for most of his life, Alfred has been forced out of his comfort zone by the unfortunate hospitalization of his mother, who has succumbed to Alzheimer's. He has never used the internet, never watched television, and has no concept of current events. He has begun integrating into society with the help of his friend Garrett, and has connected with some of his fellow students due to his musical talent with the mandolin, and his burgeoning interest in the guitar. However, he still hasn't been taught about the harsher realities of this world, such as Survival of the Fittest, and he remains innocent by proxy of ignorance to the horrors humanity is capable of, or the fate that awaits him after being selected.
Ethos statement: I've been homeschooled for the the entirety of my education, and while I was blessed with a family that isn't sheltering or close-minded, I've known families that are. My best friend growing up was in a similar situation, though not quite as bad as Alfred's. My family also has a long history of Alzheimer's, so I'm well-versed in it's effects. In my lifetime, my maternal grandmother has had it, my mother believes she's developing it, and in all honesty it will probably claim me as well, given 50 or 60 years. So, I know a lot about the disease and can treat it with the severity and respect it deserves, in case anyone was worried about that(which you have every right to be, by the by, I'm not trying to be sarcastic here, it's a serious issue and I would never make light of it).

Karen Michaels: Karen is a normal, fun loving 16 year-old who likes friends, parties, and playing the violin. She's been a dancer since she was five years old, and is always full of energy. She's very popular but also very trusting, something her father has always worried will get her into trouble someday.
Ethos Statement: I must admit I'm on shakier ground on this one, writing mostly as an outsider looking in. I'd like to run a character like this, but feedback is heavily needed on fleshing this one out since I'm mostly writing her from observations of girls in my life who are like this, rather than personal experience, which makes her a bit weaker than the first two.

Edited because, like the moron I am, I forgot the third concept >.>

Feedback is more than appreciated, I'd like to contribute meaningfully when V5 comes around!
Edited by Emprexx Plush, Jun 27 2011, 12:16 AM.
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KamiKaze
Jun 28 2011, 03:39 PM


Doc- First, let's start with Garrett. Seems like a solid concept. What kind of "over-emotional", though? Was it the "RAWR HATE YOU" kind of over-emotional, or was it the "I'm just a little cry-baby please hold me. T_T" kind of over-emotional? Believe it or not, there is a difference. Also, how exactly did he get into stoicism? As in, how did he find out about it? Did he learn about it online or in a book? Was it just a decision he made one day after a particularly bad case of being emotional, that he was going to try not to express it, and later found out that there was an actual philosophy based around it? Again, I'm curious! He seems like an interesting concept, and it's good that you have a basic idea of it.

Now Alfred. Yet another question: what exactly made his parents decide to put him in public school? You said something about his mother's condition, but what lead up to the decision to put him in public school? Was it financial reasons caused by the treatment for her condition? The realization that he needed to socialize and not depend on them? His bothering them about it? It's kind of an important detail, after all! He seems like he'll fit in nicely with the other kids at this school, seeing as for whatever reason most of them tend to be musicians. Maybe depending on whether or not the school is particularly well-known for its music program like it was suggested earlier in the thread, that could be part of his explanation why he got transferred to a public school?

And now Karen: she seems like a normal teenage girl, to be honest. I know a lot of girls like her. This isn't bad! Many teenage girls like to go out and have fun with their buddies. Again, another musician for our school full of musicians, as well. As for the dance topic, I don't know as much as others likely are, but I'll tell you what I know; she should be fairly flexible, especially if it's ballet. Even if it isn't, she should be fairly lean and flexible regardless. It's also very strict; you don't kid around in dance class. A lot of teachers will yell at you very easily. I know this because I was in dance class very briefly in elementary (key word being "briefly"). What kind of dance is it? Has she dabbled in various styles? That way we can give more details on this topic.

Also, just a quick note; don't assign ages just yet! There will be a class of students that will only be selected around the time that applications open. Nowadays they tend to be seniors on their end-of-school trips. So wait until apps open and the school and age group are announced before you decide how old are they.

Thanks for the feedback Kami! The ages are very fluid for the moment, it's just sort of a writer's tick for me, I have to give all my characters ages.

On Garrett: It's more of a "short-fuse" kind of deal. He doesn't really hate anybody, and he didn't mean anything by the way he acted, but things went very wrong for him because of it. The exact catalyst of this is dependent on whether near-fatal accidents are allowed(I know characters that have killed before aren't allowed, so I'm not sure if that applies here). If they are allowed, then somewhere in between his eighth and tenth birthdays he's going to shove one of his classmates off of either a hill or a jungle gym(still depends on age, I'm fleshing out the little details a bit at a time), dislocating his neck and paralyzing him from the neck down after a sloppy surgery tries to repair the damage. This really shakes him, and he begins searching with the help of a therapist for a way to control his temper better. His condition worsens over the years, and he sinks into depression, but his parents don't want to put him on medication. His therapist decides to appeal to Garrett's more intellectual side and introduces him to Stoicism. It appealed to him, and with a lot of assistance he got a handle on his emotions.

On Alfred: You know, it's interesting you ask that, because it didn't occur to me that there would be multiple options. As someone who's been homeschooled his whole life, to me it's just sort of assumed that if something happened to my mum(who runs my schooling), I'd join the public school system. That's how it works for most people around here, similar cases have happened to friends of mine. The general way it works in the group I'm part of is that the mother handles the teaching while the father works. Occasionally the siblings will take over for the schooling, if the family is large enough, but Alfred's siblings are going to be very estranged and a taboo subject for the rest of the family. One of the things he doesn't think about, even though it stares him in the face. I like the idea of the renowned music program though, since that's one of Alfred's only passions and a decent part of his character.

On Karen: Yes, I have a tendency to create musically inclined characters, and Karen's got a special place in my heart on this one since Violin is my weapon of choice. Typical teenage girl is kind of what I'm going for with her, I'd like to have one character that's just sort of normal, heh. Ballet is what I was thinking, since that's what I have the most experience in, I know several ballet dancers. Mmhmm, I had the "privilege" of working with a professional dance instructor for a musical I was in, she was, um, efficient? Yeah, I'll go with that. I think she would have dabbled a bit in other styles, probably hip-hop and classical(since those are styles I actually know a bit about since I do them recreationally), but not much.
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And know that I've had some time to review the concepts, there are a couple I'd like to comment on, since they really stand out to me.

Fri'Chickenisha:

The Gamer: I'm digging the concept. It opens up a few doors as to how she could respond to the game, and also some great avenues to Crazy Town should you choose to take that route. I think what will make or break this character are your early interactions with other characters, since your inner narrative and exposition already has a lot to draw on from her.

The Dirty Dancer: The juxtaposition here of a character who uses their sexuality as an advantage while performing, without having it be a controlling factor in her life, has some very interesting possibilities to it. The big question is: Why? Why is it that she uses it so much in her dancing, but not in her life? You say that she exudes a "one of the guys" vibe, but that she's also a sexbomb. If it comes naturally, why does she ignore it one half of her life, but use it in the other? Just something to consider as you write her back-story.

The What-Not-To-Do: God I love this concept. I know it's usually to be avoided, but if done right this could be great. If I may offer an idea, could you even create an SOTF fanboy? Someone who is just absolutely obsessed with the show, and is excited to be a part of it at first. From there, you can develop to your tastes, turning them into anything from an over-eager(and thus possibly inefficient) player, to a shattered innocence runner whose been confronted with the harsh realities of what he/she has been thrust into and used to enjoy. Just a thought, I'm very interested to see where you go with this concept.

Acidic:

Caleb Matthews:

Not much to say here, you've got a pretty solid grasp on the concept it seems. Just as a note for the future, if you are looking for characters to develop the whole chastity ring club pre-game, the concept I've got going for Alfred would more than likely be interested in joining something like that, if that's helpful.

Edith West:

Again, very strong concept. I would caution you about the Synesthesia, though, it's going to have to be a constant factor in every situation. It's a big undertaking, and while I'm certain you are up to the task, it's going to require a lot of fore-thought and may make things complicated for her how you've described her. Shouting matches and bursts of color triggered by loud noises don't generally lend well to each other, but that may be something you can incorporate as well. All in all, I wish you the best of luck, because if done well this could be a fascinating character.




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xylophonefairy
Jul 1 2011, 03:46 AM
DocBalance
Jun 30 2011, 05:05 PM
Edith West:

Again, very strong concept. I would caution you about the Synesthesia, though, it's going to have to be a constant factor in every situation. It's a big undertaking, and while I'm certain you are up to the task, it's going to require a lot of fore-thought and may make things complicated for her how you've described her. Shouting matches and bursts of color triggered by loud noises don't generally lend well to each other, but that may be something you can incorporate as well. All in all, I wish you the best of luck, because if done well this could be a fascinating character.
I don't know about people who have it more strongly, but I'm quite able to ignore it.
Hmm, I must confess that I didn't know there were multiple levels of it. I only know one person who has it, and he has it fairly strongly, but if there are varying levels of it then that would solve the problem rather easily.
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Sophie
Jul 3 2011, 10:05 AM
I heard in severe cases it could mess up basic sense perceptions of anything. Sight could be perceived as sound, sound as touch etc.
Yeah, I had heard that as well. I only have experience with sound to sight, though I've also heard of things like personification of numbers and letters, or distinctive coloring for words and letters. I just didn't know the severity differed between conditions, though I suppose logistically it would.
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karsk
Jul 3 2011, 02:17 PM
Just as an FYI, the first appears to be dealing mostly with number coloration/personification synesthesia, the links in the second are all broken except for the ones also dealing mostly in the above flavor. Third works though, though it's a little bare bones. Aside: I apparently have sound-taste synesthesia. I suppose it never struck me as out of the ordinary that words have their own taste, I assumed it was that way for everyone.
Edited by Emprexx Plush, Jul 3 2011, 02:36 PM.
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karsk
Jul 3 2011, 02:47 PM
There's a reason I linked simple sources. You don't need to be an expert on a character's situation , but you should have the courtesy to do some quick google searches to familiarize yourself before you comment. The last two links were two of the top hits of synesthesia on google, & the first link was the first hit for "degrees of synesthesia" in google books. they all mentioned the varying degrees & types of the condition

handlers are expected to put some research into their concepts if it's needed, & the same should go for critiquers. it's fantastic that you guys are jumping in, but make sure you've got the info to back yourselves up if you're talking facts
I meant no disrespect, I was merely going on my previous research when I thought I had some degree of sound-sight synesthesia, as well as the experiences of my dear friend with his sound-sight synesthesia, the conditions of which sound very similar to the original posters. In my case it turned out to be just run of the mill hallucinations, while in his it's fairly distracting. It's been awhile since I did that research so there may have been some gaps in my information. I apologize if I spoke hastily.
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New Concept time!

Lee Penbur: Lee is a somewhat shady individual. He loves gathering and analyzing information, especially information people don't want him to know. He stands at about 5' 8", with long black hair put back in a ponytail and grey eyes that always seem to be searching for a new subject. Basically he'd be that guy who seems to know everything that's going on at school: Who's seeing who, who's cheating in Geometry, who got beat up by whom after gym last week, who's secretly on drugs, etc. However, while he is usually pretty well-informed, he rarely has any personal involvement or stake in the situations he studies. The challenge of getting the information, and knowing that he is one of the few people who has said information, is enough for him without complicating it with blackmail or gossip, though he has been known to discretely let a few facts slip into common knowledge if someone crosses him or one of his friends. His thirst for hidden information has drawn him to computer engineering and coding, in hopes of one day joining a covert hacktivist group to unearth the world's most well-kept secrets.

What I'm feeling with Lee is kind of a mutation on the old "school snitch" trope, with the difference being that he isn't gathering information for anyone but himself. He'll give out vague stuff(For example, if you were to ask him "Is X single?", he'd respond with a simple yes or no), but deeply personal details only go public if you piss him off or hurt someone he cares about. He also is a compassionate individual at heart, and if he discovers a serious issue such as suicidal depression or hardcore bullying, he makes sure the right information and evidence ends up with the right people. Where this puts him on the social scale depends largely on what other characters he'd be playing with, and I'm especially excited about the pregame opportunities this affords. I'm playing around with his interests a bit right now, and I wanted to do a brief poll: Given the character as described so far, does he fit better as an aspiring hacktivist, or does he sound more likely to be drawn to criminal justice? Both are on the table for consideration, and I'm having a hard time choosing between the two.
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