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V5 Concepts Thread; Let 'em loose here
Topic Started: May 8 2011, 04:08 PM (28,066 Views)
Outfoxd
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I'll give one of my guys a shot. Got one more I'll post later.

Paulo "Paul" Silva.

A half brazilian student who's known around the school for being an absurd UFC-fan, constantly clad in Tapout or Affliction or some sort of fight wear. Spends his weekends participating in backyard MMA with a group of friends that, like him, love the hell out of the sport.

Paulo's father was a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructor and his mother was a student of his that he had an affair with. After a falling out, the mother fled to (V5's city) to live with family and raise her twins (Paulo and his sister, to be posted by Casey). Paulo grew up resentful of his mother and her attempts to whitewash his identity, so he gained his interest in MMA and fighting in hopes of gaining some sort of connection to his estranged father, along with insisting on using his father's surname. Unfortunately for him, his mother refused to enroll him in any sort of school, and he couldn't keep up with the rigors of wrestling.

Paulo's somewhat aggressive toward other students, more or less because being tough and being known as that "Brazilian kid who'll break your arms" is attractive to him. Mostly he's full of shit about his own abilities, however. He has some resentment toward his sister, that seems perfectly fine with not knowing her connecting with their father.
Edited by Outfoxd, May 8 2011, 10:16 PM.
V5 Characters:

Leona Van Kamp
Current Thread: Arcadia


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Outfoxd
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Doing some of these critiques so I'm not just receiving without giving. XD

@Lord Shadow

Renee Quincy Valentine:

Though I'm not an authority, Renee seems to have a fairly accurate depiction of bipolar disorder However, as it stands, this seems to dominate the character, standing in a little for other characteristics. She's a singer songwriter. Does she have a portfolio? Does she take vocal classes? How far along in forming the band is she? How the romantic infatuation with the cousin come about? Answers to these questions could serve to flesh out other parts of her background, although obviously this is just a concept. Right now it does look like mostly a definition of her disorder.

Seth Edward Lawson: I like the shining armor knight thing you're setting up here. He might benefit from a little more independent characterization, because he does seem a little dependent on the cousin relationship. Again, these are betas and you might have these already worked out so don't take what I say immediately to hurt.

@Hollyquin

Winston Evans: I don't have too much to say on him, as he actually seems, for a short blurb, pretty well thought out. As it stands he's a bundle of eccentricities, what we'd need is the events and background leading to said eccentricities, like, where did his tendency for deep crushes come from? Also, I need some clarification on the last line "is a dedicated little monster". Just curious what it meant.

Alyssa "Cap'n Allie" Harper:

She's interesting too, but how does the pirate love affect her interactions with people? Does she act like a pirate in school? I'd find it fucking hilarious if she shanghai'd somebody and took their backpack or something like that. She the weird kid that wears waistcoats and shit around school? Lotta potential for fun little details here.

Here's the other character I'm toying around with right now.

Leona "Leo" Van Kamp

A relatively tall, willowy girl at 5"8" who is rarely seen not wearing a tweed overcoat with long sleeves. She's an aspiring magician, an interest she gained in hopes of emulating her great grandfather, a Dutch immigrant who managed to make a living in the illusionary arts. Was made to take ballet when she was younger, but found little interest in it because the stories told to her by her father had already captured her imagination and heart. The overcoat is actually a re tailored one of her grandfather's that she likes to use in her sleight of hand tricks. She's known around school as somewhat eccentric, remaining shy in individual interactions but seemingly having a flair for the dramatic when in larger groups. She'll have a friend (character handled by someone else) who is her best friend and also usually the "lovely assistant" in tricks whenever she attempts to actually put on a show.

I need help fleshing her out, as she's mostly an idea. Any help with Paulo Silva (on page 2) is much appreciated as well.


V5 Characters:

Leona Van Kamp
Current Thread: Arcadia


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Outfoxd
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The feedback here should probably not be so much critiques as they are suggestions to help the concepts. The ones I did were mostly questions that could lead to more facets of the character being brought to light. Questions might be helpful.
V5 Characters:

Leona Van Kamp
Current Thread: Arcadia


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Outfoxd
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Nadir

As a practicing martial artist and full-time martial skeptic, that idea doesn't sit well with me. That ability doesn't seem like something you'd see in the world, especially for a teenager, and the character seems a little too reminiscent of kung-fu movie protagonists. Not saying martial artists are bad, but you might wanna work with that one.
V5 Characters:

Leona Van Kamp
Current Thread: Arcadia


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Outfoxd
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Sean, just a quick note on the wrestler, it's far more likely that it'll be scholastic freestyle rules wrestling than Greco-Roman wrestling. The former is more widespread at the school level.
V5 Characters:

Leona Van Kamp
Current Thread: Arcadia


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Outfoxd
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Seeing as how I went and made up a character and only had a name for her, I thought I'd hammer out a concept for her here and get some ideas.

Satoko "Saty" Aota: The daughter of an Olympic medalist Judo practitioner. She was born in Japan but raised most of her life in Seattle. Her father, lacking skills other than Judo, packed up and went to live near relatives in Seattle with his wife. He was eventually hired as the grappling instructor for a newly constructed MMA gym, and so much of Saty's life has been around the martial arts.

Despite her family's attempts to discourage her from such behavior, Saty is an insufferable bitch who thinks her ethnicity and her skillset (having a 2nd Dan black belt in Judo under her father's tutelage and training in MMA for about a year and a half now) make her superior to almost anyone. She's been known to bully other female students, while simultaneously playing up the "cute Japanese girl" angle to disarm her detractors.

It's skeleton, but it's the basic concept. Thoughts? I really want her to be a vicious, catty bully.
V5 Characters:

Leona Van Kamp
Current Thread: Arcadia


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