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Everyday is like Sunday
Topic Started: Apr 19 2011, 01:15 PM (5,620 Views)
armeggedonCounselor
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[ *  *  *  * ]
((Janet Binachi continued from White Sparrows.))

For the first time in... several days, Janet found herself in a remarkably good mood. Maybe it was because she had not slept for about a day, and was currently at that point of tiredness where the world became much more amusing. If she had to diagnose herself, she would admit that her insomnia was probably stemming from a form of PTSD, although it was probably also a little guilt. And besides, if she slept, there would be no one to keep watch. During the times they weren't moving, Jay slept like a log.

She would never admit it, especially to Jay, but she kept seeing the faces of the boys she had killed. It was strange, because at first it hadn't seemed that bad. But as time went on, those small voices niggling at the back of her mind started to get louder, scratching at the hard shell she had tried to project to keep them out. She had, after all, betrayed her principles. On the first day. She would never admit it, but Jay.... He was better than she was. At least he had only ever used his weapon out of fear. At least he had never killed. He had stuck to his beliefs. And the worst thing was... she was trying to drag him off that pedestal.

'I'm trying to keep him alive.'
'Bullshit. You're trying to prove to yourself that you're not a failure for betraying your principles. You're trying to prove that it could happen to anyone. And the worst part is... it's not working.

Janet was startled out of her navel gazing by the screech of the sound system. Automatically, she tuned it out. She hadn't listened to any since the beginning. It would help keep her objective, keep her from getting upset if she heard names she knew.... Not that she had a lot of people she would really care about....

Instead, she watched Jay's body language. There was a moment he was so surprised, so scared, she looked around to see if there was something coming. But the moment passed, and then he looked like he felt like an idiot for a moment, then he stammered something entirely obvious. Although....

"I don't think we have to worry about player killers. There are targets with far more notoriety than me."

The announcements ended soon after, and Jay looked at a loss. He asked the question on his mind, what now?

Janet sniffed slightly. The wind was blowing from the south, and carried with it the smell of salt. Janet pulled out her map, examining it closely. "I think we're near the Southern Cliffs.... We should head toward them. Maybe find a way to the bottom of them."
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Janet walked along, lost in thought. It was a familiar thing. She enjoyed taking long walks to clear her mind. Unfortunately, here, her mind only became more muddled as time passed. Actually, Jay's blathering helped her mind clear slightly. His off-key singing, however, did not help her mood. She lasted through it as they continued, and when he hit the peak point of the song, she was just about to snap at him when....

He stopped, staring slackjawed into the clearing they had just entered. She followed his gaze and saw two girls. Hayley Kelly, who had been on the announcements several times, and... some other girl. As they had their faces pressed together, Janet couldn't properly see who was who. She glanced at Jay, who was still staring slack jawed and letting out an astonished WHOA. She gently closed his mouth, then patted him on the cheek.

"It's impolite to stare, Jay."
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Janet stood off to the side as Jay and Hayley... reconnected. Of course, Janet was aware that Hayley was a bit dangerous, as she had appeared on the announcements multiple times already. When a name appeared more than once, it tended to penetrate her mind better than the spattering of onetime killers and the dead. She jolted as her name was said, in reference to the other girl present. Ema. Janet nodded to the girl, acknowledging her presence. And then Jay and Hayley went off somewhere, to smoke, leaving Janet and Ema alone to socialize.

Wonderful.

At least Ema seemed about as awkward about this whole... socializing thing as Janet was. Janet clicked her attention to the girl, noting, with her still overly analytical brain, a sort of... deadness to her tone. Perhaps the girl was perturbed by something? Perhaps it was the fact that Janet was a killer? Mildly hypocritical, considering Hayley was a far more prolific killer, but certainly there would be a bias there. Hayley, after all, was close enough to Ema to warrant a... fairly romantic kiss.

It occurred to Janet that Hayley had, at the time of them leaving to go on this trip, been with somebody. Kyle. And now he was.... Probably dead. Otherwise separated from Hayley. Janet cursed her habit of not listening to the announcements. That would be pertinent information.

The silence was dragging on to almost awkward levels, before Janet replied.

"Uh, hey, indeed."
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Janet let Ema walk away, as there was no point in trying to converse. What would they talk about? All Janet could think of was how her precious Psychological models had not predicted Hayley Kelly being capable of murder. It was such a weird thought to be having.

Fortunately, they were eventually saved from the awkwardness by the return of each of their respective Nicotine addicts. Time wore on, as it does, and eventually it was night. She laid down and began dozing when she was jostled. Jay's voice washed over her, keeping her from panicking. Besides, she felt certain that any trouble would be loud enough to wake her before she was in danger. Jay was still talking, and for the first time, she really listened. She laid there silently, pretending to be still asleep, as Jay droned on about the events from the beginning of their time together, his feelings about the island, and so on. He fell silent.

Janet began to doze again, but was again jolted awake by Jay beginning to talk again. More heartfelt this time. She completely understood what he meant. Going through the motions.... She would never tell him that she still thought about both the boys she had killed, and the fear they had felt before she killed them. She would never tell him that every time she touched her gun, she felt a shiver of revulsion and fear. She would never tell him that she admired him for his ability to stay true to himself.

Then he started talking about his mother. Janet felt the cold fingers of fear grip her heart. She would never see her family again. Even if she survived, if she won... they would probably leave. She would, in their position. She was a murderer. She couldn't even claim to have a good reason. She did it because she didn't want to die. A good reason for her, but....

For the first time since arriving on the island, she touched her neck where her choker would normally sit. And for the first time, she cried. Silently, so that Jay wouldn't notice, she cried for her grandfather. She was glad for the complete darkness. Nobody would ever know except her. So still she cried, and eventually, fell asleep.

----------------------------

The screeching of the intercom woke her up far too early, as it usually did. She grumbled slightly and rolled back over, pulling her pack over her head. She decided then and there that, if she ever got the chance, she would not hesitate to put a bullet in Danya. Kidnapping them? That was fine. Waking her up too early? Certainly a crime worth death. She would make him pay.

Soon the announcement was over. She supposed it was about time to get up. It seemed some people already were. Jay was wiping his mouth, and she could smell vomit. Disgusting. She sat up and yawned, wiping her eyes. Then, suddenly, things got intense.

Ema drew her gun, screamed at someone approaching. Janet was aroused in an instant, rolling to a kneeling position and leveling her own gun toward the person. She wasn't certain when she had drawn it. Maybe she hadn't, and had slept with it in her hand. In a far more calm voice, she stated, "You heard the girl. Get away from here."

She clicked the hammer back on the revolver to back her words up with a threat.

'Dramatic.'
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Janet could feel the tension build thick enough to be cut with a knife. Hayley and Charlene, throwing accusations and threats. Janet was shaking. What the hell? She didn't shake. Shaking was something... something... something Jay did. Not something she did. She stayed in her crouch, lower profile, steadier aim, and she could throw herself flat if necessary.

And then BANG. Three shots so close together, the sound was like only one shot. Ema tackled Hayley; when? Janet herself brought her gun up and toward the newest threat. She fired a shot, and the recoil nearly threw the gun out of her hands. She had not expected that. She was a moment away from readjusting her grip when Jay loomed in her peripheral vision, grabbed her by the hand and, in a fear driven moment, literally yanked her to her feet. She found herself half running, half being dragged, and Jay was deaf to her protestations. He ran, fast, dragging her along with him.

((Janet Binachi, continued in... The Stoner Always Dies.))
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