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Fucking Compasses... How Do They Work?; Open Thread
Topic Started: Oct 2 2010, 01:14 PM (4,148 Views)
Sean
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Internet de geso~
[ *  * ]
((Milo Taylor continued from Hideaway))

Milo was out of breath for the second time as of late. He'd wasted the entire day doing nothing but running like hell, and it was starting to show in his gait. He stopped to assess the situation.

He was surrounded by tree stumps, it was nighttime (almost dawn), and he also noted a very disgruntled-looking person in the distance sleeping.

While this wasn't great (Milo had barely enough common sense to know that his luck with disgruntled people had not been amazing lately), at least nothing was on fire. That was a definite improvement from earlier. He silently wondered how the other person managed to look angry even in his sleep.

Then, an idea dawned in his brain. He sat down on a large stump, unzipped his day pack, and rooted around.

After about a minute of digging, he came upon his prized possession: his fifth-generation iPod Classic, hooked up to a small battery-operated speaker system. He chuckled a bit to himself, removed the setup, and placed it on the stump next to him.

He turned the iPod on first. It was already set to maximum volume, so that was one step already out of the way. Milo immediately went to the artist listing, found Insane Clown Posse, and found the song Boogie Woogie Wu. He turned the speakers on, turned them up to maximum volume (which, in spite of their small size, was easily as loud as a jackhammer), and started the track.

Anyone else would have called this a horrible idea. However, Milo Taylor was a special kind of moron.
Edited by Sean, Oct 10 2010, 10:31 PM.
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Quoth Super Llama:
 
One day, the fabled Ragnarok will come, and as the gods descend to earth and wage war while the world dies around them, WickedIcon will lead the charge, a 12-gauge shotgun in his right hand, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left as he rides a steed made of fire and pain.

And the masses will look upon him and weep at the beauty of it all.


Quote:
 
[19:25] Hallucinogenic: it's not like i wanna put my anus on parade


Quote:
 
04:26MimiOH
04:26MimiTHAT'S LESS BAD
04:27MimiI THOUGHT SHE HAD TO JERK OFF MONKEYS
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sean
Member Avatar
Internet de geso~
[ *  * ]
Milo looked at the now significantly more disgruntled man in front of him.

He was, understandably, not pleased with the music blaring in his ears. Milo turned it down a little, looked back at the man, and pushed his sunglasses down a little to show his eyes.

"Are you down with the clown?" Milo calmly asked.

Before the angered man could respond, Milo felt something like a pebble hit him in the side of the head. He turned his music off, pushed his sunglasses back up, and looked over at the source of the stone.

"Hey, what the..." He started to ask something, but then noticed that the people assailing him were two girls. One of them, the one with a purple-streaked ponytail and a Metallica shirt, was quite attractive; Milo couldn't tell for sure, but he had a feeling she had been the one who threw the rocks. He smiled almost imperceptibly and turned back to the angry man.

"Dibs on the hot one," he muttered to his new "friend".
V4 Characters


V5 Characters


Quoth Super Llama:
 
One day, the fabled Ragnarok will come, and as the gods descend to earth and wage war while the world dies around them, WickedIcon will lead the charge, a 12-gauge shotgun in his right hand, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left as he rides a steed made of fire and pain.

And the masses will look upon him and weep at the beauty of it all.


Quote:
 
[19:25] Hallucinogenic: it's not like i wanna put my anus on parade


Quote:
 
04:26MimiOH
04:26MimiTHAT'S LESS BAD
04:27MimiI THOUGHT SHE HAD TO JERK OFF MONKEYS
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sean
Member Avatar
Internet de geso~
[ *  * ]
Milo pushed his sunglasses up a bit, jumped to his feet, and waved his arms around frantically.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! What the fuck? What the FUCK?" he shouted. It was the only way of expressing his utter confusion at how quickly the situation had become absolutely, unstoppably FUBAR. One minute, he had been listening to Insane Clown Posse, trying to attract juggalos. The next, chicks were throwing rocks at him and waving guns around and shit was clownshoes.

He looked at the guy.

"First off, you. What the fuck is your problem? You broke my speakers and now you're waving a gun around, for god's sake! Get a fucking grip, seriously... And you two!" He looked at the girls.

He paused and more specifically looked at the girl in the baggy clothes, who he now recognized as Jessica Pentangeli. They weren't exactly friends, to say the least, but he still found her quite attractive. He looked down a bit.

He glared at her decently-sized chest as he spoke.

"Put the melons..." He stopped himself. "Er, I mean, put the gun down. You're making me rock har-" He paused again, mid-sentence this time, and faked a cough. "Uh, you're kind of scaring me with that. Seriously, please don't fuck- god damn it!" He slapped his face and continued. "Seriously, please don't hurt me."

An awkward pause.

"I should probably be leaving right about now," Milo said in a rare display of insight.
Edited by Sean, Oct 26 2010, 09:11 PM.
V4 Characters


V5 Characters


Quoth Super Llama:
 
One day, the fabled Ragnarok will come, and as the gods descend to earth and wage war while the world dies around them, WickedIcon will lead the charge, a 12-gauge shotgun in his right hand, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left as he rides a steed made of fire and pain.

And the masses will look upon him and weep at the beauty of it all.


Quote:
 
[19:25] Hallucinogenic: it's not like i wanna put my anus on parade


Quote:
 
04:26MimiOH
04:26MimiTHAT'S LESS BAD
04:27MimiI THOUGHT SHE HAD TO JERK OFF MONKEYS
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sean
Member Avatar
Internet de geso~
[ *  * ]
The air froze.

Milo heard Jessica sneeze, heard a small "crack" sound, and felt a sudden stab of pain in his groin, followed by her saying "Oh jesus. Oh jesus, Milo, I am SO sorry!"

He looked down, expecting to see that she had inadvertently shot his man-berries off; it certainly felt like that. However, what he saw confused him.

There appeared to be a small hypodermic syringe sticking into his genitals. Milo screamed.

"What the fuck did you... what the fuck!? Oh my fucking..." His screaming trailed off into incomprehensible gibberish. He suddenly felt very tired and dizzy. He looked up and noted that everything seemed a little bit... juicy.

He glanced over at the man who broke his speakers, and suddenly everything clicked.

He stared, and continued staring for about five minutes.

"Oh my god, you're Mecha-Bigfoot!" he slurred loudly, out of the blue.
Edited by Sean, Oct 30 2010, 11:35 PM.
V4 Characters


V5 Characters


Quoth Super Llama:
 
One day, the fabled Ragnarok will come, and as the gods descend to earth and wage war while the world dies around them, WickedIcon will lead the charge, a 12-gauge shotgun in his right hand, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left as he rides a steed made of fire and pain.

And the masses will look upon him and weep at the beauty of it all.


Quote:
 
[19:25] Hallucinogenic: it's not like i wanna put my anus on parade


Quote:
 
04:26MimiOH
04:26MimiTHAT'S LESS BAD
04:27MimiI THOUGHT SHE HAD TO JERK OFF MONKEYS
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sean
Member Avatar
Internet de geso~
[ *  * ]
((Narrowly avoiding inactivity here.))

Milo looked up. The two girls, who were now rainbow unicorns from his sedative-enhanced point of view, were leaving him there with Mecha-Bigfoot.

He decided to make his displeasure at this very clear, very loudly.

"Hey! Let me ride away into the sunset on your glistening back and fly away from Mecha-Bigfoot!" he yelled, slurring his speech. He got progressively dizzier.

"Mommy? Daddy? Sasquatch? Why is the world all spinny and magnets?" he muttered, and then collapsed.


Milo woke up in a featureless grey plane and heard a very familiar voice.

"Oh jesus, not you again," the voice said dejectedly.
V4 Characters


V5 Characters


Quoth Super Llama:
 
One day, the fabled Ragnarok will come, and as the gods descend to earth and wage war while the world dies around them, WickedIcon will lead the charge, a 12-gauge shotgun in his right hand, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left as he rides a steed made of fire and pain.

And the masses will look upon him and weep at the beauty of it all.


Quote:
 
[19:25] Hallucinogenic: it's not like i wanna put my anus on parade


Quote:
 
04:26MimiOH
04:26MimiTHAT'S LESS BAD
04:27MimiI THOUGHT SHE HAD TO JERK OFF MONKEYS
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Sean
Member Avatar
Internet de geso~
[ *  * ]
Milo looked at the source of the voice.

Unsurprisingly, it was the same red naked Barbie-crotch version of him that he had seen last time he fell asleep.

"Oh for fuck's sake, no. No. I'm not punching a superego-horse to death again. That can go get fucked," Milo told the red clone. Milo blinked, and the red Milo was suddenly wearing sunglasses.

"Deal with it," the red Milo said.

"What?"

"I said deal with it, motherfucker," and with that Milo got a sudden vision of his mother performing an obscene act on a donkey.


Milo bolted upright and screamed at the top of his lungs. He continued to scream for what felt like several minutes, until all the air was out of his lungs.

He took a deep breath and continued screaming. Mecha-Bigfoot had become a giant cockroach now.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU'RE A GIANT ROACH!" Milo screamed at the unsettling creature, who clicked his antennae at him. He picked up his daypack, still screaming incoherently, and bolted away from the area.

Clearly the tranquilizers had not worn off yet.

((Milo Taylor continued elsewhere))
V4 Characters


V5 Characters


Quoth Super Llama:
 
One day, the fabled Ragnarok will come, and as the gods descend to earth and wage war while the world dies around them, WickedIcon will lead the charge, a 12-gauge shotgun in his right hand, and a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left as he rides a steed made of fire and pain.

And the masses will look upon him and weep at the beauty of it all.


Quote:
 
[19:25] Hallucinogenic: it's not like i wanna put my anus on parade


Quote:
 
04:26MimiOH
04:26MimiTHAT'S LESS BAD
04:27MimiI THOUGHT SHE HAD TO JERK OFF MONKEYS
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
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