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Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows...; (Open)
Topic Started: Sep 30 2010, 06:44 PM (3,408 Views)
T-Fox
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N-Nopony! Ah was talkin' to nopony whatsoever!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
((Jackquard "Jackie" Broughten continued from One of Three.))

((OOC: VERY long flashback through day two, as she was stuck in "One of Three" through almost all of September. The current stuff is sectioned off at the bottom.))

Jackie had left from the site of that terrible incident at least a full 24 hours prior. Most of the time between then and now was filled with sleeplessness, pain, and heartache. Her first order of business had been to get as far out of sight of the building as she could. Mostly to remove herself from the other girl's view; but partially to save her own butt on a small subconscious level. In an act of sheer brilliance, the girl had remembered to retrieve her hacksaw from the site before leaving, but at the cost of what little food and materials still lied in her stomach. And as soon as she had collected herself to the point that she could even feasibly realize it, she was famished.

And there she found herself, by the foot of a river. And for the first time in an hour, she looked over her own reflection in that pristine water. The sun reflected off of the occasional fresh tear that dotted her cheeks. Her face was spattered with blood, as well as he neck and her clothing from the attack that took the life of another. The hacksaw dangled gingerly from her almost limp fingers, the shine of fresh red adorning the blade as well. Her jeans were tattered from the thought filled run through the trees and the briers; a run she actually didn't remember. In fact, she didn't remember much. She remembered completing the deed that sealed her fate. She remembered thinking to herself. And then suddenly, she was here.

And so she rested for hours. First, she bathed; a luxury she was sure she wouldn't see again for days to come. The cool waters were refreshing, and thankfully she even had the foresight to bring two changes of clothes in her oversize purse on what was supposed to be a weekend long camping trip. Using her old clothing as a towel, she changed into her new clothing, tossing the old into the river, watching the jeans sink straight to the bottom and the shirt slowly float down river. Almost symbolic in a way. However, that hoodie went straight back on. She needed a reminder of just what killing was, and the sparse bloodstains would serve as just that. As much as it pained her to see them, it would force her to think about her victim every single day that she still drew breath. The hacksaw was washed clean, and then with nothing more pressing to do, she sat.

And the next three hours of her stay at this strangely calm riverbank were spent dipping from thoughtful incite to inconsolable sobbing, and back again. For all intents and purposes, the once Ice Queen of Bayview was now acting as if she were truly Bi-Polar. However by the time dusk began to roll around, she heard what sounded like footsteps. Whether those were imagined or not, she didn't care to find out. Dumping the contents of her purse into her issued Daypack, she tossed the bag into the river and fled down it's banks, the soft mud and dirt serving to soften the sound of her escape.

Next came the attempts at sleep. Really, each session of transit was gone from her memory as she spent so much time thinking; no, arguing with herself. The vision she had had of her innermost being in the millisecond before her victim's death continued to replay itself in her head.

"...The life of another had to be given so that you could understand... And this is the price you will pay... The burden that will hold on your shoulders for the rest of your days..."

The one quote that rang true, over and over. Logic versus emotion; compassion versus the will to live. This was what constantly plagued her right until dusk when she first attempted to sleep. This endeavor proved fruitless for the girl however, as every time she closed her eyes, the scene played itself out again. Either reliving the killing, or just staring at the broken and bloodied form of that poor girl. And when she finally did fall asleep through her body's sheer, pure fatigue, it was very short lived. Dawn had just cracked as a speaker hidden somewhere in the forest or the mountain itself cracked to life.

And it was here that she finally learned the name of that poor girl she had sent to the great beyond.

Jackie mouthed the name to herself, her voice a whisper drown out by more of this announcement. But it was as if she was finally giving the girl respect and mourning long past due.

"Maria... Santiago..."

Not a week earlier and this name wouldn't have meant a thing to Jackie. But here, nestled at the foot of the mountain where she laid, this name was her entire world. This name affected the core of her very psyche. This name unlocked something powerful, something that she had not experienced in over a decade. Emotion. Sorrow, regret, anguish, mourning.

Pain burned in her heart. And restlessness consumed her as she stood, slinging the drab green bag over her shoulder. She knew that three things were now true, and would be until she died. First, that she was a murderer. Second, that she didn't deserve friends, happiness, nor did she deserve to ever see her home again. And finally, that she needed to move. When she moved, it hurt less. While she ran, winds at her back, her mind was slightly more at ease. There was no way she could be forgiven. No way she could forget. She just knew that she needed to move, to make her time more bearable until she inevitably lost the game of which she had become nothing more than a cog.

---((Present Time))---

So walk she did, straight up the mountain. For someone as nonathletic as the girl, the trek took hours upon hours. And as dusk fell upon the girl yet again, her thoughts swimming about in circles, for at least the tenth time that day, sat to rest. But again, rest did not come to her. She laid on the hard, unwelcoming dirt, her lumpy and malformed bag serving as the closest thing to a pillow she had. The sun was just again beginning to rise as she heard a voice coming from below her.

"The exit is right over here!"

How had she not noticed the girl before? Presumably she wasn't alone, but how had she missed this? She must have been lost in thought quite a bit deeper than she thought. And so she laid, listening to the exchange, letting what would happen happen. Jackie had no idea what exit the girl was referring to, but her original hunch was proven correct by a much softer voice following behind. However, after a few moments, one particular phrase caught Jackie's attention to the point where her weary arms forced her sleep deprived and guilt addled body to sit.

“I... I got a big gun in mine. I don’t know how to use one, though and since you’re going to protect me... I mean, if it’s okay... with you, protecting me, that is. You can have it. I trust you."

This girl had gotten a Gun. Something Jackie would have loved to have had two days ago. However, now with the advent of Maria, she wanted to be as far away as these implements of death as she possibly could. Peering over the rock face that seperated her from the other two, she spotted Tiffany. For some reason, this girl's name actually came to Jackie's mind, although she couldn't place where. Her partner however was blocked off by the natural features of the mountain, and soon the weapon was out of her sight. Jackie didn't deserve friends or allies on this island. She deserved to die. But one thing that didn't cross her mind in the countless hours of thought was now on the tip of her tongue. What do I do now?

Approach the pair and beg to be killed?

Approach the pair and beg for forgiveness?

Or just sit and wait here, and hope that the two innocent, frightened people below her would be able to dodge having to see a monster on this day.
Edited by T-Fox, Nov 6 2010, 10:19 PM.
Coming soon to a deathmatch near you:
Garry Brooks - Swave Countryboy
Jade Aurora - Tomboy Drummer
Jasmine Tolle - Pacifistiic Artist

Memories of those past:
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T-Fox
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N-Nopony! Ah was talkin' to nopony whatsoever!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
And as she was so carelessly leaning over the small ledge that separated her cliff from there, she heard a voice coming from yet another path down below that she hadn't even considered. What was worse was that he was staring directly at her. At all of them. He was waving, running up the hill like he was just greeting a couple of friends from school, shouting as if he hadn't seen hardship yet on the island.

Seriously? You're going to get yourself killed! Attract attention to yourself, hell, nice job attracting attention to the rest of us.

In an instant her head shot back down as she scooted backwards on the cliff, trying to make herself as small as possible. If she became involved in the exchange going on below... Well, honestly she didn't want to think about it. She was a killer. And killers couldn't have nice things in any sense of the idea. That's why she was here in the first place. She needed to find a nice secluded spot to try and atone and repent for what she had done in the eyes of whatever cosmic powers that were. And then she needed to wait for death.

She waited for a few moments, only granted company by the sound of her breathing and the footsteps of the newcomer as he tromped up the pathway. Closer and closer with each step. However thankfully, he seemed to ignore Jackie for the time being. Maybe he didn't see me? Either way, it was a breath of fresh air. The silence didn't last long however, as one of the original pair piped up, trying to be tough. Trying to intimidate the other.

He has no idea what it's really like... Wouldn't be so cocky; if only he knew...

But just like that, he was gone. The boy, without even waiting for a response, just told tiffany he had to leave and scampered off, her apparently drowsy hand now holding the weapon. It was just like he had gone. "Who goes there? I don't wanna die, you deal with it princess!" Passing the buck, giving up the responsibility. If this were another time, Jackie would at least feel a little bit resentful towards him. As logical and cold as she was, she still had a heart before this whole ordeal. It makes sense, even on an evolutionary and biological level to follow through on a promise; implied or not. And it was exemplified in the game they were now stuck in. Follow through on your promises that mean little now, gain trust, gain allies, survive for longer. The same strategy their ancestors used, just applied in a different way. However now, she didn't deserve to judge. She had just taken a life. And with that comes a heavy burden. She was the worst kind of monster, how could she condemn or commend any action done by any other human being? Even those on the announcements who have killed more than her... She couldn't bring herself to believe that anyone on the island but her could have possibly killed in cold blood. Even Reiko, who had apparently killed four people... No high school student was that much of a monster. No one but her, that is.

And then the memory flashed back in her mind again like lightning. Quick images, fleeting sounds. The sound of the hacksaw hitting flesh, the memory of that one phrase that her broken, insane mind had conjured in less than a nanosecond. The scene of Maria's dead body, hair and blood almost floating in circles around her, signifying twin halos to prove exactly what her fate entailed. A sob escaped the girls lips as these images, smells, sounds, and feelings continued to flash through her conscious mind far beyond her control. As if watching the most violent slide-show ever put together by mankind, she was strapped to the chair, forced to watch the deeds she had committed; throwing caution and heed for her surroundings to the wind as she lost control and composure for the umpteenth time that day.
Coming soon to a deathmatch near you:
Garry Brooks - Swave Countryboy
Jade Aurora - Tomboy Drummer
Jasmine Tolle - Pacifistiic Artist

Memories of those past:
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What is wrong with you people?!
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T-Fox
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N-Nopony! Ah was talkin' to nopony whatsoever!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
((Sorry for the hold up. Head colds really muck with your brainmeats.))

This was shaping up to be a real Mexican stand off, huh? They had no idea the power they were playing with. The power to take or give a life... Those weren't playthings they had in their hands. And the way they were treating it like they didn't fully grasp that. Sure, they would say they did if questioned about it. But they would still talk the talk while being fully incapable of walking the walk. Jackie walked the walk. The walk wasn't a proud, mighty, and powerful one like these kids probably thought.

No, it was a limp. A broken, battered, pain ridden limp that she would carry with her forever. She didn't want anyone else to have to walk the walk. She couldn't let these kids throw what little of their lives away that were left. She wanted them to die on good terms with themselves, or their Gods, whoever those might be. She couldn't stay quiet any longer.

She needed to step in. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. But before she had a chance to say a word, she watched that boy from before come back.

What the fuck?

That just baffled her to her core. Was this all a part of some ploy in the first place? The scared little girl act, just so the guy could take 15 minutes to flank their foe while she sat in mortal danger? And now suddenly she couldn't make sense of the situation. No longer was it a naive tough guy, a coward, and a damsel in distress. Now it very well could be a Bonnie and Clyde and a naive tough guy who was about to get brained. The male's conversation was just out of earshot for her, but she surmised it couldn't be exactly pleasant. Especially since the one who left to flank had managed to extract a golf club from somewhere. She couldn't let this happen though. She had to atone in the eyes of the world. Every camera was another eye on her, another window to a higher power than herself; society. While it sounded selfish, she had to atone to society. But for herself. Herself and Maria.

"STOP IT!"

How loud her exclamation was managed to shock even her. She just hoped it would spawn the same shocked reaction in her targets.

"Do you have ANY idea what you're playing with? The power to take a life!"

She stood, her hair frazzled, her entire appearance disheveled and broken. Her arms hung limp at her side, and she shook her head to try and toss the errant strands of hair out of her eyes.

"Look at yourselves, you're attacking each other based on paranoia and fear! Do you really want that blood on your hands for absolutely nothing? Don't be like me, don't be a cold blooded murderer. That's not a brand that I carry proudly, but you heard the announcement. I did what I did. I can't make up for it, I never will be able to make up for it. Taking a life, not even out of fear."

A deep breath and a tear. No one had responded so far. This could either be a really good thing, or a really bad thing.

"Don't make the same mistake I did. You'll regret it for the rest of your days, as few as those may end up being!" She almost felt like she sounded like a televangelist here. Although when you boiled it down, that's all she was right now. Just converting people to peace and level-headed thinking. "Stop for a second and think. All three of you brandishing weapons right now. What has a single other person here done to threaten you that you yourself didn't do to threaten them as well? You brandished your weapons at the other on sight. On sight! Just because they are another human being, they need to be threatened? Seriously, don't give into the game like I did. It may seem logical and right, it may seem like the best way to get out of here. Hell, it may seem like the easiest way. But it's not. On any account. You will NOT be able to live with yourself. You will be racked with regret, you might lose your mind... No matter what, you'll lose yourself. So please, put the weapons down, sit down, and just talk."

She didn't bother preparing herself to run if she was fired upon. She did accept her fate. As long as she tried to save a life, the pain that Maria's soul placed on hers was temporarily lifted. The good didn't cancel the bad, but the good was a start. Right here, and right now.

This felt logical. This felt right.
Coming soon to a deathmatch near you:
Garry Brooks - Swave Countryboy
Jade Aurora - Tomboy Drummer
Jasmine Tolle - Pacifistiic Artist

Memories of those past:
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What is wrong with you people?!
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T-Fox
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N-Nopony! Ah was talkin' to nopony whatsoever!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Nobody seemed even remotely fazed by her speech. At all. Nothing that she had just said had rung true for anyone down there. They were going to have to find out the hard way.

There was nothing she could d-

"Okay, here's what we do. Tiff, put your gun down."

Wait, maybe she had gotten through to someone! This kid... No, she actually had no idea who it was. But this kid was actually trying to defuse the situation.

"You, I take it that now there's no point in asking if you want to stick around, or in getting you to throw your own gun away. You wanna go, go. But if I even see you think about turning round and shooting us, you'd better be good. Cause I'll come after you if you miss, and I'll make you wish that you'd never been born."

Nope. She sighed. Still trying to be tough, still doing everything he could to be a bad-ass. Still, he WAS trying to make tensions calm. She... Guessed that was a start?

Now all she could do was sit and watch, and hope that this Tiffany girl actually put down the gun. If she did and the other kid left, she had done something right.

But what else could she do? If they didn't listen, she would have to live with their blood on her hands too. She would be responsible... She wouldn't have been good enough to save them from themselves. In her twisted, breaking mind, that constituted sole responsibility. It would be a disservice to everyone who had ever cared about her in the past and everyone that she had ever interacted with not to save every single life that she came across.

But why? Why was it her responsibility?

It had to have been because I because you fell prey to this 'game'. This is why it is your responsibility to save everyone you can. It is the only way you can attone for what you have done, it is the only way you can make up for the wrongs you have committed. Doing the right thing isn't easy, but if you're strong and you keep trying you ca- No, I need to go hide. I need to get away from everything. This is just going to make things worse and I'm going to die without ever having a chance to say goodbye to my family and friends and I'm never going to see the states again and I need to just curl up in a ball and sleep my fi- nal days must be spent making the world a better place, one person at a time. Any little difference you can make is a difference for the better. And you need to get the hell over yourself and keep talking. They've heard your name over the announcements, they'll listen. If the killer is telling them how much they will regret things, they will just fucking shoot me! What's wrong with me, the only thing I can do is go back to the killing. If you do that then you can get the fuck off this island and you'll still be a murderer either way. Maria's death made you deserve to die, so you need to spend that time as alone as I possibly can, just hiding and trying to save people from the hell which follows you everywhere you go. Your life brings pain to those around you, that fate has been made permanent since you did that one deed that will never be attoned for, but you need to try. What good was her death if you can't continue on with your old course of action? Her death was in vain if you don't live. She would have wanted me to just go die alone, whenever it comes. She doesn't care about me, she never will. Thinking she would have is so self inflating that it just proves how badly you will hurt others by being alive. You should just off yourself right now, and not even take the chance that anyone else will find you again or I might kill again and be unable to control yourself and WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?

Jackie collapsed into a ball, her hands clutching her head in pain, her mind swimming. Only maybe a quarter of the conversation in her head was under her control. Three different attitudes screamed at her, and she just wanted it all to go away. She wanted to curl up and be alone; something she would never in her life be again. It was as if she was nothing but a topic of debate, her feelings not mattering. In absolute terror and confusing, she began to writhe on the ground, closing her eyes and scraping her nails against the sides of her head. Her mind felt so overly full, almost to the point of bursting. She couldn't breathe, and the pressure in her head was so incredibly painful she just needed out.

So many voices, so many opinions, but one host.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!"

This spasm went on for longer than she would actually ever know. The other kids down below would see and hear all of this, and Jackie would never know what they did and how they would react. All she knew for sure was that something was broken. And that things were never going to go back to the way they were.
Edited by T-Fox, Nov 2 2010, 10:26 AM.
Coming soon to a deathmatch near you:
Garry Brooks - Swave Countryboy
Jade Aurora - Tomboy Drummer
Jasmine Tolle - Pacifistiic Artist

Memories of those past:
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What is wrong with you people?!
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T-Fox
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N-Nopony! Ah was talkin' to nopony whatsoever!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
So... Many... Voices...

So... Much... Confusion...

An argument going on inside of her head. Had she gone so insane that she could no longer control her thoughts? One of the voices sounded familiar, but if she could just... Get a moment of silence...

Shut UP!

The voices stopped, seemingly for a second. Maybe they would go away forever...

Thinkthinkthinkthinkcome on! Still from her curled up position on the cold and unforgiving ground, her mind raced with an attempt for recognition of any; ANY of these voices. She couldn't place them to anyone. Anyone at all.

...Wait.

"...The life of another had to be given so that you could understand... And this is the price you will pay... The burden that will hold on your shoulders for the rest of your days..."

W-What?

"See? I knew you were a smart girl."

Her eyes shot wide open in shock and horror. That... dream? Vision? It was coming back to haunt her, already. She knew she would see their faces in her sleep, but to feel that torment even during the day? She literally had a physical manifestation of her conscience in her head! Either that or she was possessed... Or something. Her fear managed to force a tear from her eye as she began to dread the next few days. She could never be alone again. She would never be alone again. A sob choked up in her throat, but through sheer force of will she managed to suppress it. However the whisper that escaped her lips next she couldn't have stopped no matter how much she wanted, no matter how much she tried. "I just... I just want to be alone..."

The voices were faint, but they were distinct. Her vision began to fade with her eyes wide open, and she was fully expecting to pass onto the other side right there in that moment.

If only she could have been that lucky.

Darkness consumed her sight, leaving her with nothing but her own thoughts. She could not see, nor feel her body's actions, and she could still hear those voices so far away.

Yet in the real world, a girls eyes opened with a new fire, a new resolution. She quickly stood, turning her head towards the morons who were still playing cowboys down on that ledge, and a soft sigh escaped her lips, annoyance painting her face. The only trace of the fear that she felt was in the form of a single dried tear upon her cheek. "They won't listen... They aren't going to listen. There's only so much time. Need to make up for her mistake..."

She spun on her heel and began to walk straight for the small path that led her to this perch on the mountain. The hacksaw laced through one of her belt loops, and her backpack dangling from her hand, she began to walk the treacherous climb down.

"Why don't you just run up to the cell phone tower and jump?" She could almost feel the shrug that the other voice was exuding, even though her own shoulders held still. The feeling sent a shiver down her spine. "Cut your losses and stop her from ever hurting anyone again."

"She's better than that, and you and I both know that." Her feet never stopped moving as she seemed to just stroll away from the scene as if nothing had happened. As if there had been no shout, no tears, no sadness, no fear.

In the darkness, in the solitude, with that nagging sound buzzing around her ear, a single word turned into a single thought. "Am I even me anymore?"

((Jaquard Broughten continued in Shore Leave.))
Edited by T-Fox, Nov 23 2010, 04:40 PM.
Coming soon to a deathmatch near you:
Garry Brooks - Swave Countryboy
Jade Aurora - Tomboy Drummer
Jasmine Tolle - Pacifistiic Artist

Memories of those past:
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What is wrong with you people?!
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