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Youth and Beauty Brigade
Topic Started: Sep 14 2010, 06:22 PM (4,438 Views)
Brackie
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i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
((Jacob Charles continues from Conquistador...))

Ever since he was young, Jacob's dad didn't put up with having a sissy kid. He wouldn't let him cry, or run away from trouble when he was around. No, he always had to be tough. If there was a fight, his dad made sure he stood his ground. If someone died, he was told to man up, never show his grievances. But once he met Paige, she helped him change. She was a tough cookie, and was resiliant enough to break through his shell. She made him feel something full, something no one else could make him feel.

He'd broken his first promise to his dad when he spent almost the entire day hiding.

There was no one he could trust anymore. After he left the house, with....he knew that it would only be a matter of time before he ran into someone. They would kill him, wouldn't they? Just like Rob killed...and then, he would be gone. Just like...

But after a while hiding, in places that he doubted even the camera's trod, he ran again. He heard things, heard screams, heard so many noises, noises of death, pain, and everything in between. He couldn't trust not one person in his life any more.

But it was growing late. He couldn't hide anymore. After hours of wandering, walking, desperation in finding shelter, he reached this beach that lay before him.

It was a beautiful sight. Driftwood scattered the sandy stretch before him, like roaches crawling out of a wall. The waves waxed and waned against the beach, each leaving little gifts for the sand to keep.

I never got to see this back at home. I bet Paige would have en-

And then, he realised what was wrong with the picture. He wasn't supposed to be standing there, watching the ocean on his own. He had a bullet in his leg, he had no bag, he had no friends, and...she was taken away from him.

Reality rushed back at him like a bucket of water over the head. He couldn't take in the view that greeted him, because he was in the sand, leg bleeding out ever so slowly, as he sat there, on his knees, hands burying themselves into the sand with grief. He couldn't enjoy it to food, since his bag was taken from him. He couldn't enjoy it with friends, since he knew they would all be out to kill him. He couldn't enjoy it with Paige.

Because Paige had been taken away from him.

There was no point trying to fool himself. He wanted to man up, make himself a tough guy, get over everything. That was why, over the time that he had taken trying to get over it, he tried to tell himself it wasn't happening. Paige was still here. The little plucky runner was somewhere. His friends would all be alright. He would enjoy the rest of his life with her. Everything and everyone would be okay.

Except that wasn't how it was going to be.

His father would have laughed at him, tears streaming down his face. He was going soft, but Jacob honestly couldn't give a fuck. The most important thing in his entire life had been taken away from him forever. His rock, his little bouncy girl who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was dead. A hole was blasted through his stomach, just like her. The gap which would never be filled.

The view no longer mattered to him, the waterworks now engulfing his face. He didn't want to enjoy it. He just wanted to cry. Fuck what his dad thought, fuck what anyone thought. Fuck the view, Fuck the island, Fuck his friends, Fuck everyone around him, Fuck the game, Fuck the ocean, Fuck the moon, Fuck the sky, fuck the stars, FUCK DANYA, FUCK EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD.

Paige was gone. There was no Paige ever again.
Edited by Brackie, Sep 18 2010, 03:04 AM.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
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i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
((Sorry about the short post and the holdup))

It vaguely registered to Jacob that someone else was there, on that beach. Another human being, possibly more than one, who had taken the time to actually light a fire. He didn't know what that fact mattered to him, as he sat hunched over the sand on his hands and knees.

The world was so quiet there, that he couldn't believe it.

He took the time to consider the possibility of them not playing, while still trying to forget. He had run from Ben, from Sarah, from Adrian and the other guy because his world had been shattered. Someone had really gone through with it, and it made him fearful. This was amplified by his loss, the loss of the one thing in the world that truly mattered to him anymore...

Paige...

He didn't know what life there was to live without her. The last thing he said to her was to scream at her for riling RobkillerkillerkillerkillerkillerJenkins up, and that was it. Nothing sentimental on his end, nothing he never got to say being said. It was just one shot, moments upon moments of pain, and then his rock was gone. He never got to apologize for lying to her, for telling her everything would be okay. But he thought it would be okay! Did that make it any better?

He wasn't sure what life he faced if he ever did make it back home, if the game was stopped and they were all rescued. He spent every morsel of money on that one gift for Paige, so his plans for leaving town, which he'd held in the back of his mind ever since he'd had aspirations, were zilch. So, once the media fawned over the people who were forced to kill, like RobkillerkillerkillerkillerkillerJenkins, and stories were made about the families of those killed, like Paige, and there would be so much media hype about them, forced to bear the unbearable. And then, once it all died down, once everything was said and done, what next? He still had a family to go home to, a family that needed work. The economy was becoming worse and worse every day, and with such lousy school marks and a lifetime of part-time work under his belt, he knew his parents would be all the more willing to have him stay at the garage, work there as part of the family business.

And once they got too old to work, and they somehow retired with the little funds they had, it would be his responsibility. But he had no idea what the future would hold, since his family wasn't the only mechanic's business in town. They had better advertising, better workers, and better people who were also SOTF survivors families. What happened once the economy hit hard, and they lost everything? What kind of life would that leave him compared to...

...compared to joining Paige.

The tears still running down his face, he could have almost punched himself at the thought. He'd done so much in helping Paige not do what just ran through his head that it was almost a gag reflex. Kill himself? Was that really an option?

Multitudes of thoughts swarmed his head, but they were all indistinguishable among the one clear answer to his question.

..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
.....................................................yes.


He could end it now, and save anyone the trouble of having to look after him. Say if he did manage to trust, and came across somebody who was willing have him, what would he have to contribute? He had nothing, not a weapon to protect them with, not a morsel of food to give them, and not a reason that was any more significant for them to go home to than any of them would. He would really be a dead weight.

And that dead weight could just as easily drop itself right now.

After ages and ages sitting alone in the darkness, Jacob got up again. His leg still echoing pain, he fully subconciously ignored it again. With one giant step forward, as he always did, he started towards the water.

Now was the time. He had to keep walking forward, and never look back.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Brackie
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i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Step.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Step.

Ste-splash...


Jacob's worn sneakers finally met the cold ocean, the icyness all too welcoming. The saltyness flooded his senses, filling his nostrils and abrazing his skin. It was nothing. He was too much in focus to his one final goal to care about his own comfort.

I'm coming Paige...

There were tiny voices of doubt hovering around in his mind. He...was starting to feel regret. He was so desperate to be with her again that he was putting his irrationality before all else. But he wasn't paying attention to that bit of his subconcious anymore. It was gone, its essence depleted.

But...there were voices still. They weren't the ones he recognised, but there was no doubt that they were there. They...seemed familiar. It was as though he was reliving something, so...was it real?

"...ob! Jac...s tha...What...Wait!!"

"Take it easy...to hel..."


Jacob smacked right back. He was chest deep in the ocean, not too unlike someone who had been here almost a day before. But unlike that poor person, his intentions were much more serious. Turning his head, he could only see the darkness of the ocean, darkness of the world, before him. But...there was a little bit of light...it was somewhere around him, somewhere...

Turning his head to his left, he saw someone, two people actually. The faces couldn't match up to any names that he remember off the top of his head, but he knew of their intentions perfectly well. It wasn't often one saw a suicide attempt go so slowly, or at all for that matter, and now they wanted to stop him.

But Jacob wasn't going to have that.

"...I'm sorry. You can't help me. No one can help me anymore. I'm not worth it anyway."

The hand on his shoulder, still stopping him from moving any further towards, was now becoming more clear in his mind. A human touch, a human's scent...

"...I failed. I was supposed to protect her. But she's gone forever now. My only," Jacob turned back to the ocean again, taking in the cacophony of sound that accompanied it "Reason to survive here was taken from me, and...I'm going to join her."

He wanted to throw off the first figure's hand from his shoulder and continue his stride, he was certainly strong enough to and the figure was small enough, but...there was something stopping him. He had to finish this fight with words. His stupid, meaningless words.

"I've chosen my path, and I'm taking it now. My friends are dying, and I'm going to be among them. So please...just leave me alone."

The tears were still flowing right down his face throughout. He didn't realise how much pain these words were doing him, nor was he sure if he would have cared. The pain was meaningless now, compared to joining his beloved, wherever she lay now.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
((Posting to stop Jacob from going inactive))

The stars...why were they all so glintering? Was it because he was seeing them through eyes that no longer wanted to live, that were so teary and so uncaring about anything that everything was so exilerating?

But he couldn't think about that. The words of the other two, they echoed through his ears for what seemed like the longest time, and now...he was being taken back to shore.

N-No! No! Don't make me go back there! I can't, no!

But he couldn't do anything, bar muttering a few words weakly, pleadingly.

"No, please, stop, just...just let me-please, don't, just...I-I-I just...want to see...I JUST WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN!"

But nothing was working. As his legs started to struggle, he could feel the bandage slip through the water, making it's way down his leg as the flow of the water apposed his current direction. It was there, and then it wasn't. The salt water stung him, stung him like a hornet burrowing into his skin, and then...

It all faded. The whole facade. He couldn't stand it any longer. The pain really came back to him, all of it. The pain in his leg, the reality of the whole ridiculous situation. The emptyness became bitterness, the bittterness became sorrow, and the sorrow became pain. Pure, unfiltered pain. Once the boy finally reached the shore, he was himself again, and threw wild swings at the two boys that stood with him.

"You FUCKERS! WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? I WAS DOING FINE! I WASN'T EVEN NEAR YOU AT ALL, AND YOU HAD TO BUTT IN! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! YOU DON'T EVEN, KNOW, WHAT, HAPPENED TO ME!"

His rage was uncontrollable, the anger welling up inside of him simply bursting at the seams. How dare they. How dare they do this to him. His whole life, it had been everyone else controlling what he did, his parents, his girlfriend, his friends, and now these two fucking faggots standing there, acting so high and mighty like they had just saved a life! What did they know? What did they know?

"YOU WEREN'T THERE! YOU STAND THERE, YOU MOTHERFUCKING CUNTS, AND YOU JUDGE LIKE SOME FUCKING HIGH AND MIGHTY RICH FAGGOT, BUT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! WHY DID YOU STOP ME? WHY DID YOU FUCKING TRY AND STOP ME? I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW! I WAS...I WAS...I...was..."

And it all came out
.

Again, he was on the sand, and again, he was crying. But it wasn't silent this time; it was monsterous, hysterical, and it was himself again. He didn't hold himself back at all, he just screamed his pain out through his sobs, while clenched up in a tiny little ball on the sand. It was all still too much. He hadn't done it right, nothing had gone right. He just wanted to fix every little mistake he made before this point, this little flicker in time. But he couldn't. It was impossible, fixed. Nothing was going to change. In a few minutes, in a few days, he would still be alone.

"Paige...Paige...PAIGE!"

Her name was like a razor, slicing through the night sky and making his throat hurt too much to bear. It wasn't going to be his saviour from the world anymore; it would only be a refuge in the dead and unknown.

It went on for so long, so very very long, and he didn't give any warning. The people in front of him, they wouldn't understand. Unclenching his fists from the sand, he stretched them inconspicuously, and scrambled in the direction of the fire.

It wasn't long until every element that was hindering Jacob during the day finally caught up to him. He hadn't eaten, he hadn't drunk, he hadn't slept, and he hadn't gotten proper attention for the bullet, still there, throbbing in his leg. So Jacob didn't make it 1 yard past the fire until he finally slowed down, stopped, and passed out on the sand.
Edited by Brackie, Oct 23 2010, 03:04 AM.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
While it took such a long time, but Jacob Charles finally woke up again.

It was almost like he'd been taken back in time, back to the first day, when he first woke up again. He didn't realise where he was. The last thing he remembered was gettino, you were running. He was going to sit nexyou were going to die. And then, he remembered the sand rushing up to meet him as he fell.

As his eyes forced themselves open, he was...unnervingly quiet. Jacob didn't want to scare the other two guys by suddenly bursting up like some sort of zombie in Dawn of the Dead. The first thing he saw when he pried his eyelids through the gunk encassing them, was the sight of blue. Again, he'd seen it all before.

But his thoughts were of something different.

Where's...where is everyone? Carol?

He didn't know.

Ben?

He left him back at the houses.

Reiko?

He could register something now. He wasn't awake during the announcement, but...she had killed. 4 times.

Amber?

She was gone. Shot in the chest after she tried to make a friend with some Russian chick or something.

Paige? PAIGE?

...just gone.

All his other senses started to work again. His lips, still crusty after almost a day, possibly even more, of sleep, took their first inhale of breath. His fingers, resting on the blue sleeping bag that was, for some odd reason, his most recent bed, started to move ever so slowly. His cap was somewhere down there. He didn't know where, but it was there.

...are those guys still there?

Scanning his peripheral vision, he couldn't see. There was blue, and the ocean, and what seemed to be even more sand. The beach was endlessly lying in either direction, he knew that, he didn't have to get up to find out that fact.

Taking his first real movement, Jacob tilted his neck to his left. The ocean. He knew that, so there was no real reason to look. Stupid him. Tilting further to the other side, he saw them. Colin and Tim.

...now that he was thinking clearly he knew where he recognised Colin. He remembered, this one time, Paige had dragged him to this cafe. She wanted to check it out, and he was dragged along. There was a performer there, on the guitar. He'd been a great player, and performer.

As he remembered, she took him over again. Her touch, her scent, her body. He still longed for something that would never be again, simply living in the past.

But that wasn't what he was supposed to be thinking about. What he was focusing himself on was the fact that, according to a subconcious nagging, there was something he knew about Colin.

Tony Russo.

The announcements named Colin out specifically for his death.

...Colin's a killer?

But no, there was something else that he didn't think about. Something else nagging at his mind. The specific wording of the way the announcement worded it.

The word 'accident' was involved.

So...does this mean something?

There were killers out there, no doubt. RobkillerkillerkillerkillerkillerJenkins had proved tha-

-no.

He knew what he was getting at subconciously now.

There was far too much of a difference between Rob...Jenkins and Colin Falcone.

Rob Jenkins killed because he had the choice.

Colin Falcone: according to the announcments, he wasn't given that choice. As far as Jacob knew, it wasn't his fault. He could rely on that little bit of information just until he started to fray at his wits end.

Colin Falcone was a killer.

But Rob Jenkins was...a murderer.

He wasn't about to let that fact overcome him now that he knew the difference now.

...he also realized it had been such a long time since he'd thought of her.

...I think it's time to move on, Jacob. She's gone. Nothing's going to bring her back again, especially not you lamenting about the fact that nothing is going to bring her back.

...But's she's all I've known, all I've fought for over the past year. She's the reason I made it through school. She's the reason I have...had....friends. I can't...She's never going to forgive me if I forget her.


Rather than staying on this train of thought, it being far too out of his league to comprehend at his mental state, he instead hoisted himself up on his elbows. He was sure they realised he was awake now, so it was time to reestablish his presence in their lives.

"...anyone got some water?" Jacob asked. He was really thirsty.
Edited by Brackie, Nov 15 2010, 02:08 AM.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Jacob's voice was hoarse, foreign to him. He didn't realize they didn't know he was awake, and he'd probably scared them a bit. Yeah, just a bit. No matter the fact that he'd probably scared them shitless with his attempt at suicide...how long ago was it?

Colin fumbled, and he got his bottle of water. Finally, refreshment.

He downed it in large, loud gulps, not really caring at that point whether he choked or not. It's not like it would kill him.

And then, the conversation started. These people were no longer just random civilians to his own little worries, he had two probably still stressed and freaked out boys to answer to.

They'd...they saved him. He was in their debt now, he realised that. They'd saved him twice, actually, and owed him a lot more than what he thought at first. They stopped him from killing himself, they...glancing down his figure, he spotted his torn open jeans leg, afresh with a new bandage. He felt the metal slug still in his leg, and something stopped him from asking why they didn't take it out. It was just freaking rude to do that to your saviors.

"...yeah, it's...its okay. Thanks." Jacob replied to Tim's question. It was just like he'd been given a whole new slate to work with, with nothing to his name. Was he going to have to take their food as well?

The little hook in his skin that kept tugging at him, to never forget her, started to relax. Colin knew, he couldn't not know now. He'd lent his apologies to him, just like a normal person. It still egged at the back of his mind that there was something that Colin was hiding. He didn't expect Colin to wear a name tag that read "COLIN FALCONE - KILLER", but...

...why was he thinking like some vigilante who wanted to persecute the wrong? This wasn't him. He wasn't supposed to think like this. Jacob Charles wasn't supposed to be in this situation, none of them were. It was stupid to think like that as well, vehemently denying all the truths that were shoved in front of him.

What was so wrong with him that he couldn't just cope like a normal person?

Colin against spoke, as did Tim. His leg, the one they'd worked on over the night. Was it hurting? Jacob rubbed his tongue against his left canine tooth, and leaned forward to touch the bandage. Not much pain, really, it still hurt, but he supposed he was lucky that he wasn't bleeding like a freaking madman. How did Schwarzenegger make it look so easy to walk around riddled with metal like he did?

"I'm okay, I think. It's...it's hurting, but it's not...I think I can walk on it, I suppose."

Jacob wasn't really sure whether he wanted to try and walk. Shaking his head just a little bit, he pulled his legs in closer, and tried to get up.

A little stumble as his feet moved themselves from the sleeping bag to the unfamiliar texture of the sand. A stumble more as his leg twanged with a sting, and then...balance.

He could walk, and he was ready for the island now.

But...instead of moving on his feet anymore, he turned around to the two boys sitting at the fire, and got down in a sitting position again.

Eating some humble pie was good just about now.

"I'm...I'm sorry guys. I just...Paige...she was everything I had. When I woke up here, I dunno how long ago now, but...I promised I would find her. I searched, and I searched, and then...she was there, she was right there. We were...I promised her that...we'd get off of here, we'd find our friends, we'd get..." Jacob slipped his fingers into his pocket, and pulled out the ring he'd been given on the small runner's deathbed "We'd get married. I got this, right before the trip. We were gonna get married, we'd leave Bayview, our friends, our families, and we'd...we'd be together forever."

Why are you telling them this? Do they care? What's the point in thinking about the past?

"And then...Rob Jenkins. She...I think she was so tired, so...she got angry. She used to tell me stuff about him, and then, she...I don't think she knew he had a gun. She...she called him a Nazi, and then...and..." Jacob trembled before he could continue. Instead of looking them in the eye any more, he hung his head between his knees.

"I should have stopped her. If I'd just grabbed her, stopped her from yelling, she'd be alive."
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
It turned out that Jacob was right in his suspicions. They weren't really suspicions more than pieces of knowledge that required some correct application, but it was...a feeling that he couldn't really describe to get some confirmation that the people he was now sharing residence with weren't hardened killers, nor conspirators who rightfully set out to decieve Jacob. It was just an accident. It couldn't have been as clear cut as that in reality, obviously, since he knew that people weren't as simple as books made them out to be. Tony had motivation. Colin had motivation. Tim also shared the same motivation as Colin, and...this was the same motivation that saved him from killing himself all that time ago. How long was it ago, really?

But Tim was right. There was no point focusing on the 'if's'. It was all about the here and now, and the situation, here and now, was that Jacob was being silent in a time which desperately required a voice.

"..."

Jacob really tried to come up with something on his first try, but all that came up was a cough, a wheeze. Second time was the charm though.

"...if that's what happened, Colin...then I can't see any reason why it's your fault. If...you couldn't have known what was going to happen, then I don't see how you can blame yours-"

...damn, Colin was good.

Paige was dead. Acceptance was the first stage to recovery. And it was the last stage of grief, he'd rocketed through those the moment the bang registered in his eardrums. If he could get past the grief, and just remain a mourner until God sorted them all out, as the saying went, then...he could survive here, really.

It would be an existance, a survival. But a life? He'd have to work on that from the bottom up.

Managing a weak smile at Colin, he stood up, the familiar twang still twanging away.

"...you guys are all I have now. My friend's out there somewhere, and if I know him, I know he's not dead. I haven't died, so he knows the same for me. If we can find him, find our group of friends..." Jacob started, before trying his best to forget that Reiko was still technically his friend, killer/murderer or not "And then...and then I suppose we can work it out from there, however it goes, I s'pose."

The waves weren't registering as a sound anymore, but they were becoming part of him, part of his ears. This was something he had to resolve.

"I dunno how long you guys have been here, but I reckon this beach's seen enough of my ugly mug for the last day or whatever. I...I dunno if it's still there, but I left my bag in the town. My stuff's probably gone, but...well, I don't think you'd wanna share your stuff with me for the next week or so, I'm a big eater. So you've got maps, don't you? You lead, and I'll follow."

Trying his best to work up his signature cocky smile, he picked up his cap from the sand, adjusted it so it faced forward on his head, and dropped a little something from his pocked into a small hole he'd been drilling with his foot, backwards and forwards.

"That sounds like the word, doesn't it?" Colin directed towards Tim. His words didn't accurately reflect the tone of his voice, still trying to find its way up through his throat like a worm trying to burry it's way out of the ground. He meant to try and put on a show of confidence, but what came up instead was a show of mild fake enthusiasm, as transparent as a glass of water.

Still, at least they'd know he was okay. Mourning, but okay.
Edited by Brackie, Dec 12 2010, 07:19 AM.
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image
Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Brackie
Member Avatar
i love him, i love him, i love him, i love him
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Colin and Tim's worries were the most welcoming part of the whole experience. He was finally getting back on his feet again, after...after everything. He made a plan, he simply put it out there for both of them to hear, and now he had hope, promise, something to look forward to.

As the group started heading off in the general direction of the warehouses, or wherever they seemed to need to go, Jacob stopped. There was one more thing he needed to do.

Turning around in the sand, he walked back to the exact spot he was sitting, when he let it all out. Underneath his foot, or where his foot stood, was a hole in the ground. A small hole, dug by a human foot mindlessly drilling away beneath him. A hole which now held a remnant, a little reminder, of the things he'd never get back again.

His love.

His marriage.

His happiness, his true happiness, to be precise.

With his hands, these were buried beneath a few layers of sediment, and his eyes shut again. Jacob leaned forward and pressed his head to the sand.

Everything he remembered thinking was coming back now.

Fuck his dad. He never cared about Paige anyway, thought she was a waste of time.

Fuck other people. They were gonna bring him down. If they weren't on first-name basis, they were nothing.

Fuck the view. It was that view and that view along which tugged him back into his harsh reality, and if he didn't need it, he didn't need it.

Fuck the island. He could look forever, and he'd probably never find Paige again. The island had swallowed her up, taken her from his grasp.

Fuck his friends. Fuck, his friends, they were all the reason he had left now. If he tried to stay on his own, or tried to find something else, he wouldn't make it past the next day.

Fuck everyone around him. The people around him were the reason he was now short a life. It wasn't Danya, it was them. Unless Danya squeezed his fat, ugly hands around their throats, then he wasn't responsible for ending their lives, it was the people he used to think of as a safe haven.

Fuck the game. Fuck this whole thing, the only thing in his life he couldn't win. Any game he partook in was easy pickings, since he was a huge hulking motherfucker who didn't even have the brainpower to know when to quit. But this game was taking everything away from him, not just his life, but his ability to think properly about what he needed to do.

Fuck the ocean. A wall of water, trapping them all. It was a prison, it was something he never wanted to see, a wall of water. It wasn't a literal wall, that would be dangerous, but it was the same in theory as well as practice. A wall. Water. It...Maybe if he was literally as close to dying as he was last time, he could come back here. Just to scream to the ocean one last time.

Fuck Danya. No matter what, he had to get whatever the hell was coming to him. Jacob would never be able to do it, but somebody had to. If someone could just end him, or even get near him just fast enough to break his neck, make him hurt...

Fuck everything in the whole world. Everything in the world was not what was waiting for Jacob Charles after these precious few moments. This island, this fucking island, was all that was waiting for him.

Paige was gone.

But a new existence spread out in front of him. An existence that relied on making sure that somebody who deserved to live, someone who had everything to live for, made it out of here.

He lifted his head from the sand, and opened his eyes.

"Goodbye Paige."

Lifting himself from the sand, he started off fast after the two boys, probably wondering what he was up to.

I love you Paige, and I always will. You'll be in my heart for the rest of my life.

Rest in peace.


((Jacob Charles continued in Stay Frosty))

[[THREAD CONCLUDED]]
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I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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