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James "Jimmy" Robertson
Topic Started: Dec 24 2009, 07:26 PM (479 Views)
decoy73
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Name: James "Jimmy" Robertson
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Grade: 12
School: Bayview Secondary School
Hobbies and Interests: football, reading, hanging out, psychiatry

Appearance: Jimmy Robertson stands at 6"1' and is a healthy 200 pounds. While this is overweight for most people, Jimmy has worked out enough so that most of his weight is muscle. He has short, somewhat curly light brown hair, brown eyes, and a small goatee. His nose is slightly crooked, from a fight he was in during the beginning of senior year, and he constantly has a smile on his face. Anybody who looks closely will notice that his left leg is slightly more muscular than his right, as a result of that same fight. His ears sit close to his head at about eye level. His stocky body is muscular and lightly tanned from working out.

Normally, Jimmy wears jeans, a plain t-shirt, and a casual collared shirt (either plain or with a basic pattern) with sneakers. Occasionally, when it is quite sunny outside, or if he just thinks it looks cool, he will wear a pair of mirrored sunglasses.

Biography: James Robertson was born to an American father and a Greek mother in St. Paul, Minnesota. His father was a construction foreman, and his mother worked at a Bloomingdale's in the perfume department. As such, Jimmy had a normal middle class life, having some nice things, and listening to his parents bicker occasionally.

Over elementary school, Jimmy grew up relatively normal, albeit slightly introverted, frequently shunning social scenes, and getting nervous when socializing, being more comfortable watching people or playing outside or in gym class. His teachers, worried about his habit of watching others, rather than socializing with them, took their concerns to his parents, who consequently went to go see a psychiatrist with Jimmy when he was eight, to make sure that Jimmy was developing normally. At the psychiatrist's office, Jimmy seemed to undergo an instant transformation: he was fascinated by the tests taken, the odd jargon that he heard, and the brain model that sat on the psychiatrist's desk. After a decent number of tests, it was shown that Jimmy was merely introverted, but his habit came from a genuine interest in psychiatry and how other people worked. He was advised that psychology, one part of psychiatry, was grounded in relationships between the doctor and the patient, and if he wanted to learn about people, it would be better to learn about them by interacting with them. While it took some time, Jimmy was able to open up to others, especially with people who pursued physical activities, although for some reason, Jimmy was always averse to hitting others, preferring to stay out of fights and use his words.

In middle school, Jimmy discovered football, and quickly joined, becoming a defensive tackle, a position he played through middle school and into high school. He showed promise, but it took some time for Jimmy to get used to the fact that he had to actually tackle people, as opposed to just tagging them. Jimmy's circle of friends extended to a decent size, getting to know those he considered his friends very closely. Also over that time, Jimmy started reading. His favorite books were novels with complex plots that made him think, but he also liked reading a few various nonfiction books.

Right before senior year started, Jimmy was hanging out with some of his friends when some troublemakers came into the restaurant, being loud, rude, and generally damping the festivities. After about twenty minutes, Jimmy and his friends got tired of their behavior and attempted to get them to stop. At first, Jimmy and his friends offered to pay for their next round of drinks, at Jimmy's behest, hoping that by at least being friendly with them, the troublemakers would stop. This did not help. The troublemakers merely got angry, and challenged the other group to a fight. After about a minute-long standoff, one of the troublemakers threw a punch at Jimmy, who was able to dodge it and swing back, hitting his attacker in the jaw. As a result, the entire group of troublemakers immediately descended on Jimmy. It would have been relatively easy for Jimmy to just take a step back, however, he froze up, allowing them to hit him in the nose, breaking it, and then ferociously beating him to a bloody pulp. By the time his friends and a couple staff members were able to pull the troublemakers off him and get charges pressed, Jimmy had a broken nose, and his right leg was broken in two places, rendering him unable to play football for the majority of his senior season. To this day, Jimmy has wondered if he could have said anything else to make them back off, and as such, he has forsworn violence.

Currently, Jimmy is part of the football team and commonly hangs out with them. When alone, he reads classic literature, and basic psychology books to further his goal of becoming a psychiatrist. In the classroom, he gets good grades, maintaining a B average. While not one of the most popular students in the school, he is known as a genuinely caring and nice person to be around, ready to give advice if needed, and due to his gentle nature, is merely seen as a muscular teddy bear.

Advantages: Jimmy has good strength and stamina, from years on the football team. Also, he is a quite caring individual, so classmates will see him as safe to be around. Combined with his knowledge of psychology, he can read people's emotions fairly well, and is fairly good at determining if somebody is deliberately lying.
Disadvantages: Jimmy's main disadvantage is his personality. His caring nature may cause others to see him as an easy target to kill. Outside of the football field, Jimmy has strictly sworn to not use any force unless in self defense, and even then, to use only enough to discourage or temporarily incapacitate an enemy. His right leg has still not completely healed to its condition before the fight, still at about 85% strength at the point of the breaks. Also, Jimmy is used to memorizing strategies and taking orders on the football field, meaning he could freeze up should something unexpected occur in Survival of the Fittest.
Edited by decoy73, Mar 3 2010, 09:15 PM.
Female #16: Jaime Schanbacher; Status: ACTIVE 0
Female #42: Sabrina Luz; Status: ACTIVE 0


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Namira
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Before I go over this or anything, I have an honest question: Are you the same guy that submitted the original 'Maximillian Meursault' character? I ask because I checked your IPs and they don't match, so this whole thing looked rather odd in my eyes.

If you ARE Misanthrope, it would have been kinda helpful if you'd said in the first place. However, even if you're the same guy, I'd prefer if you changed the name of the character, because that's now got a negative association with it, if you get my meaning. Like, you say 'Max Meursault' and people are going to think of the permadenied version, not an entirely different character (which this submission seems to be)

So yeah, if you could clear that up and alter the name prior to a proper critique, that'd be great, thanks.
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decoy73
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Done. He is now Jimmy Robertson. Also, I did not submit the original Max Meursault. I merely took the name.
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Namira
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Denied.

Before I go onto my main problem, I have a super quick issue, and that's that 210 lbs and 6ft 1" isn't an entirely healthy weight, it's like, 20-5 pounds overweight. Honestly, it can depend a lot on how a person is built, but that is a little hefty if you're talking 'healthy'

The big thing of course is the disorder. Thing about the PKU is that I'm pretty sure that the symptoms aren't what you've described. At least two of them sound like things that would occur developmentally, as in, when he was quite young, if the disorder hadn't been treated, as opposed to suddenly becoming stupid because he hasn't taken his supplements.

Most of the rest of it seems alright, although I'm kinda curious as to what happened to the troublemakers, as it seems a bit odd they'd just wail on Jimmy for long enough to break his nose and leg without his friends helping or suffering any apparent consequences.

My honest advice to you is to drop the PKU. It adds nothing to the character, and is more of a gimmick than an actual trait. Either way, it doesn't contribute to him, and actually makes me less interested in Jimmy, why? Because I look at him and think 'You know what? He's going to go onto the island, and his meds will have been taken off him, or he'll have none left, or he'll lose them, and then he'll go around acting like a moron', and immediately, it turns me off. I don't like being able to predict what'll happen, and the best way to avoid that is to make them a more normal kid.

Axe the PKU, make Jimmy a footballer with an interest in psychology who's now recovering from getting beaten up the previous year. Lumping the disorder onto that doesn't help. Less is more.

There are a couple of other things to bring up, but I really need you to decide what you're doing with the concept as a whole before I get onto them.
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decoy73
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Jimmy has been changed. Changes include:
* Removal of PKU
* More detail on the fight, especially why the troublemakers were on Jimmy for long enough, and that they did experience repercussions.
* Clarification on Jimmy's gentle nature.
* Edited his general intelligence level. He is now just a guy of average intelligence.
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Namira
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Seems okay. Approved.

Just a word of caution for the future. Try not to go too overboard with the sussing out aspect. It's been known to be used as a cheap excuse to mindread. Some people, remember, are very good liars.
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