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Vivian Paine
Topic Started: Dec 16 2009, 08:41 PM (523 Views)
Flying Badger
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Name: Vivian Paine
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Grade: 12
School: Bayview Secondary School

Hobbies and Interests: Reading, learning about various deadly diseases and horrible conditions, seeing movies, playing video games, writing

Appearance: Vivian is practically the definition of “average”. She isn’t very tall or short, at 5'4'' and weighing around 130 pounds. She has mousy brown hair that reaches her mid-back, which she often keeps in a braid or ponytail. Her gray-green eyes are often hidden behind thick, wire-rim glasses. Freckles cover her face, and her skin is pale from staying indoors. Thanks to 2 years of braces, her teeth and straight and clean. She has bad posture, often appearing a few inches shorter due to being hunched over. She is usually wearing a nervous grin on her round face, not sure if she’s being laughed with or laughed at. She wears baggy clothes that hide her form, loose jeans or khakis, too-big t-shirts and sweaters, and old tennis shoes. She has some acne that she doesn’t bother to cover up with makeup, but it isn’t that bad.

Biography: Vivian comes from a family of three. Her mother was killed in a train wreck when Vivian was twelve, leaving her, her father and younger sister, Amanda, alone. Vivian's mother had been studying to become a doctor, and was on her way to the community college when the accident occurred. After the death of her mother, Vivian, who was never a very social person, shut down. She had admired her mother very much, and they had been very close. She had already been planning to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a doctor, and completely absorbed herself in her studies after the accident. Vivian was almost monosyllabic for years, only recently beginning to open up to her family and close friends. Vivian also became a very morbid person, fascinated with death and things that lead to it. She's become rather paranoid about trains, and refuses to use the local subway, preferring to take the bus.
Her father struggles to make end meet, and currently has an office job. Vivian and her sister both have part-time jobs at a local diner, but the family still suffers financially.
Vivian can be classified as a “nerd”. She never had many friends at school, preferring to focus on her studies even before her mother's death. She is largely ignored by the rest of the student body, sometimes teased but not as often as some kids. Being a senior has made things a little better. At least the younger students don’t pick on her. The times Vivian has been bullied, however, are still fresh in her mind. Low self-esteem and fear of large crowds combine with the fear of more torment and make Vivian a very introverted person.
One of the few times Vivian is actually comfortable is when she is at home, reading a good book or playing a video game she got for cheap at the local Gamestop. She enjoys writing short stories, mostly of the horror genre, but she has never shown them to anyone but her sister.
Vivian hopes to become a doctor like her mother wanted to be, helping save lives. Alternatively, being a doctor means she would get to learn about all sorts of horrible diseases and conditions.

Advantages: Vivian is fairly comfortable with gore on its own, having looked at enough pictures of injured people while studying medical textbooks. She knows how to keep quiet and hide, she’s good at thinking on her feet, and her medical knowledge might come in handy.

Disadvantages: No matter how many gory video games Vivian plays or gruesome accidents she reads about, she’ll never be comfortable with killing her friends and classmates. She’s also not very athletic or strong, and has no combat experience. She’ll have even more trouble than most adjusting to the fact that she’s trapped on an island and has to kill people to survive. Vivian wants to save lives, not end them. She is almost blind without her glasses, and doesn't know the first thing about surviving without things like hot running water, a grocery store, or police to help keep her safe.
Edited by Flying Badger, Dec 20 2009, 12:44 PM.
Vivian Paine- H-huh? You're talking to me? Um... w-what is it?
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MurderWeasel
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Hi Vivian! Please edit your profile to match this template, including the bolding of subject headers. Post here when you've got that done and someone will give you a full critique. Thanks!
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
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Flying Badger
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KillerVole
Dec 16 2009, 11:45 PM
Hi Vivian! Please edit your profile to match this template, including the bolding of subject headers. Post here when you've got that done and someone will give you a full critique. Thanks!
Done! ...I hope I fixed it all, anyways...
Vivian Paine- H-huh? You're talking to me? Um... w-what is it?
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MurderWeasel
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Alright! The template looks good.

Vivian is temporarily DENIED. There are a couple of things I'd like you to add before I approve her for pregame.

First off, I'd like you give Vivian an actual height and weight. It helps people visualize the character. It would also be great if you added a little more detail to Vivian's clothing choices.

Vivian's bio could use a lot more detail. I'd like to know more about her interest in diseases, to start with. Also, how old was she when her mother died? How did the death affect her? Such a major event needs more elaboration.

I'd also like to know more about Vivian's early life in general. Right now I only have a good view of her current situation, not how she got there. I'd aldo like to know how she interacts with people, as right now all you say is that she is introverted. Her interest in medicine should also be elaborated on.

Vivian's advantages and disadvantages also need tweaking. Everything in them should flow logically from her bio, and probably should be mentioned there. Also, interest in the horror genre in no way prepares people for blood and violence in real life.

Finally, her disadvantages are a touch on the weak side. No student going in to SOTF should be comfortable killing their classmates or have an easy time adjusting to the island, and a lack of combat ability is the norm rather than a disadvantage (combat ability is actually a serious advantage). If Vivian has a stronger than normal aversion to violence, I'd like to see that clarified. Lack of athleticism is a good disadvantage. You should probably toss another in there too.

If you need any help figuring out what we're looking for, check out this character creation guide, and some of our Approved Registrations, such as Dylan Plath and Annaliese Hansen.

Once you've got Vivian edited, post here and I'll give her another look. Thanks a ton!
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
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Flying Badger
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Okay, changed it a little... hope this is okay now.
Vivian Paine- H-huh? You're talking to me? Um... w-what is it?
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MurderWeasel
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Thanks for the changes! There are still a few things I'd liked to see adjusted before I approve Vivian for pregame.

First off, I still don't know about her interest in diseases. It seems very particular, and I'd like to know where it comes from and how she acts on it.

Second, I'd like to know more about Vivian's medical interests and knowledge, since it's one of her advantages. Has she taken a first aid class?

Third, I'd like Vivian's comfort with gore explained a bit more. Does it spring from her medial interests, where she would have probably seen at least pictures of injured people?

Finally, I'd like to know a little about Vivian's life before her mother's death. What was the family like then? Was her personality similar to what it is now? Was she close to her mother?

Post when you've got things edited, and I'll take another look!
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
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Flying Badger
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Okay. Hopefully I've fixed everything...
Vivian Paine- H-huh? You're talking to me? Um... w-what is it?
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MurderWeasel
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Alright, thanks for the edits! Vivian is APPROVED for pregame.
V7:
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
Library Vee
Misty Browder drawn by Ryuki
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