| Welcome to Survival of the Fittest, a RPing board loosely based off of Koshun Takami's Battle Royale, with its own unique plot and spin on the 'deadly game'. We've been around quite a while, and are now in our thirteenth year, so don't worry about us going anywhere any time soon! If you're a newcomer and interested in joining, then please make sure you check out the rules. You may also want to read the FAQ, introduce yourself and stop by the chat to meet some of our members. If you're still not quite sure where to start, then we have a great New Member's Guide with a lot of useful information about getting going. Don't hesitate to PM a member of staff (they have purple usernames) if you have any questions about SOTF and how to get started! Let the games begin! |
| Jonathan Jarocki | |||
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| Topic Started: Dec 4 2009, 01:46 PM (594 Views) | |||
| gambit508 | Dec 4 2009, 01:46 PM Post #1 | ||
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Has His Eye On Someone
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Name: Jonathan Edward Jarocki Gender: Male Age: 18 Grade: 12th School: Bayview Secondary Hobbies and Interests: Gore, Movies, Video Games Appearance: Jonathan is one of the taller students in the class, topping off at six feet and weighing 180 pounds, giving him an average appearance, however most of the weight is fat since the only muscle Jonathan has is the little he gets from helping his family put stuff away on high shelves. He isn’t the best looking kid either, his large ears stick out from his head, his nose is covered with the scars from the pimples that he had popped, and his curly dark brown hair sticks up wildly from his head before going down the back of his neck, a result of never doing anything to it. He wears a pair of glasses over his blue eyes, but the lenses are so dirty and smudged from him taking them off with his fingers too much that it is a miracle he can even see. He has short legs, most of his height coming from his torso, but long arms and fingers, causing the more condescending students to compare him to ET, and large feet. Oddly enough, given his thick hair, his eyebrows are almost nonexistent, he does not know why though a common excuse was he burnt them off. He has a rather typical fashion style, even if he atypically only chooses to wear black clothes, wearing jeans and t-shirts, however due to his family; these are usually old and worn. He also wears a black hooded jacket with the zipper broken off, the only thing he has left from his grandmother and a pair of size 14 boots, but no socks since he thinks they take too long to put on. Biography: Jonathan was born in Ocala, Florida to his mom and dad, Cindy and John, with his younger sisters, Jennifer and Jacqueline being born within in the next six years, each kid two years apart. Jonathan was a bit of a contrast with his father, while his dad was a military-raised man who loved exercise; Jonathan was quiet and shy, usually finding escape in books. Somewhere around his fourteenth birthday, Jonathan grew a deep interest in anything involving death, probably due to his uncle’s job as a mortician, he would read books on the subject, watch the goriest movies he could find, usually imagining the deaths of people he knew . As a result, Jonathan quickly lost friends, which only caused him to become cynical and stressed, quickly learning to just ignore the rest of humanity as a “huge pile of shit” as he so eloquently put it. However, despite his loner status, he still chose to talk to people, however he became more specific about his friends only choosing to talk to people he felt he could trust. His parents however refused to put him in therapy since his father did not believe it would help. Around his sixteenth birthday, his dad retired from the military which was not without its hardships, without the steady paycheck, his parents bounced from job to job, usually leaving Jonathan home alone with Jacqueline, Jennifer having gone the opposite route of Jonathan and become quite the social butterfly. However, things started looking up when his dad accepted a truck driver job in Iowa. Therefore, the family went along with Jennifer’s boyfriend, Justin Fowler. Jonathan quickly started to hate Justin, though it was not always shown and the two did get along at some points, Justin even introducing Jonathan to the worlds of cigarettes and vodka, (Jonathan quickly left the latter one, claiming the taste of it was vile). However Justin’s time was limited, Jonathan’s dad never truly left the military in his mind and was a strict conservative and believer in ideals like “guilty till proven innocent”. Justin to him was nothing more than a “punkass kid” and was quickly thrown out after a rage filled argument. This however came with the price of Jonathan’s access to the cigarettes, (his dad having forbidden any drugs of any sort, a bit hypocritical of him considering he was frequent user of chewing tobacco.) Jonathan grew even more distant, lashing out at his dad several times. Eventually his father sent him away to St Paul to live with his grandparents and his cousin, Sarah. He grew close with them, since they did not have the structure that his father tried to impose on him. His grandfather, an archery instructor, even taught him how to shoot a bow. However, his grandmother was not always there mentally and eventually was sent to the hospital. Jonathan entered the twelfth grade with his usually cynicism, but also with a newfound depression since his grandmother, one of the few people he was close with had passed away due to complications with Alzheimer’s. The disease and death took a heavy toll on Jonathan, and he grew even more distant from people, usually resorting to snapping at anyone who tried to start out a conversation. However, after some meetings with a therapist that his grandfather had hired to help him out, Jonathan grew friendlier, but still was precise on his friends Jonathan over all is a distant kid, having few friends at all in his grade and refusing to join any clubs. He is a pyromaniac, usually keeping three lighters hidden away in his pocket. He has a vast knowledge of killing and gory films, and considers Takashi Miike to be a genius; however, he also has shown interest in other films, as well as anime and video games, usually quoting them when he does talk to his friends. He still goes to the archery range every Saturday to practice with his grandfather, and has become close friends with his cousin. Advantages: Jonathan has a vast knowledge of many subjects, thanks to his days spent in the library when he was younger, though he sometimes forgets these things because of time passed, with the exception of death and gore, he has become almost indifferent to death. He has severe trust issues, which might lead to him working alone and small skill with a bow. Disadvantages: Jonathan has large feet, which causes him to have an awkward gait. This might make it hard for him to traverse vegetation. He also does not exercise much, and is winded quickly while running. The trust issues once again factor in, since Jonathan is more likely to refuse help from a stranger, believing they just want to finish him off. Edited by gambit508, Dec 15 2009, 09:22 AM.
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Jonathan Jarocki-B015 QOM: "Oh good, one person isn't going to kill me out of two hundred and seventy five, what a relief" Current Location: Hall of Mirrors Current Weapons: Steyr TMP (x4 clips [capacity 15 9mm rounds], 50 Rounds Left) Current Supplies: 1 Mountain Dew Can, 3 M&M Packets, 2 Bread Loaves, 2 Cracker Tins, 4 Bottles Of Water, 1 Lighter Current Status: Injured Kill Count: 0 Injuries: Busted Lip "Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius" "Damnant quod non intellegunt " "The game of love is never easy, that's what makes the prize so wonderful" v5 Concepts | |||
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| ifnotwinter | Dec 4 2009, 03:22 PM Post #2 | ||
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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
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Hi, Please fix the formatting to match this template. Once that is done Jonathon will receive a full review. |
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(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side) | |||
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| gambit508 | Dec 4 2009, 08:24 PM Post #3 | ||
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Has His Eye On Someone
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Fixed, hopefully | ||
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Jonathan Jarocki-B015 QOM: "Oh good, one person isn't going to kill me out of two hundred and seventy five, what a relief" Current Location: Hall of Mirrors Current Weapons: Steyr TMP (x4 clips [capacity 15 9mm rounds], 50 Rounds Left) Current Supplies: 1 Mountain Dew Can, 3 M&M Packets, 2 Bread Loaves, 2 Cracker Tins, 4 Bottles Of Water, 1 Lighter Current Status: Injured Kill Count: 0 Injuries: Busted Lip "Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius" "Damnant quod non intellegunt " "The game of love is never easy, that's what makes the prize so wonderful" v5 Concepts | |||
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| ifnotwinter | Dec 7 2009, 02:39 PM Post #4 | ||
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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
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Hi, and welcome to Survival of the Fittest! Jonathan is temporarily DENIED pending changes that I'll outline below. My issues are mostly with the Biography section. "Along the way, Jonathan grew a deep interest in anything involving death, probably due to his uncle’s job as a mortician, he would read books on the subject, watch the goriest movies he could find, even got suspended from school multiple times for flat out telling people his plans if he was to kill them. As a result, Jonathan quickly lost friends, which only caused him to become cynical and stressed, quickly learning to just ignore the rest of humanity as a “huge pile of shit” as he so eloquently put it. However despite his loner status, he still chose to talk to people, if only to point out their flaws and tell them the most likely way they would die." I can understand him developing an interest or even fascination with death, but there are a few things in there that will need to be changed. If he was actively telling people his plans if he were to try and kill them, suspensions (which you mentioned) would happen, but he would also likely be placed under the care of a child psychologist or psychiatrist, especially if he continued to act that way. It's possible he would even be outright expelled. Please either tone it down, or explain more fully the consequences. I'd like some more detail on his early school life, or at least a slightly easier chronology (I'm not sure at which ages these events happened in his life, for instance). I'd also like some more detail on his relationship with his grandmother, as her death appears to be a major turning point for him and it seems odd that that's the first time she shows up in the bio. Again, if he were still preaching about death, and especially about Columbine-style tragedies, his parents would be alerted to this. How did they react? I'd also like a bit more detail for advantages and disadvantages. While I know what it's like to not have much there - I've a character who effectively has no advantages - it seems to me like you can find a couple more for each catagory. I'd also like elaboration on how his knowledge of death is an advantage. Is he desensitized to it? Does he have knowledge of how to kill people? What about it will help him in SOTF? Please make the changes and then reply here. I'll give him another look once that's done. Thanks! |
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(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side) | |||
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| gambit508 | Dec 9 2009, 12:57 PM Post #5 | ||
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Has His Eye On Someone
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Fixedamundo | ||
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Jonathan Jarocki-B015 QOM: "Oh good, one person isn't going to kill me out of two hundred and seventy five, what a relief" Current Location: Hall of Mirrors Current Weapons: Steyr TMP (x4 clips [capacity 15 9mm rounds], 50 Rounds Left) Current Supplies: 1 Mountain Dew Can, 3 M&M Packets, 2 Bread Loaves, 2 Cracker Tins, 4 Bottles Of Water, 1 Lighter Current Status: Injured Kill Count: 0 Injuries: Busted Lip "Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius" "Damnant quod non intellegunt " "The game of love is never easy, that's what makes the prize so wonderful" v5 Concepts | |||
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| ifnotwinter | Dec 12 2009, 01:09 AM Post #6 | ||
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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
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Alright, sorry about the delay! It's a busy time of year for all of us. I'd still like the following paragraph toned down.
Again, at that age, he would probably be more then just suspended for telling people that he might kill them/how he would do it if he did (not to mention that a lot of schools have policies regarding how many suspensions are permitted before expulsion). He would almost certainly be seeing the school counselor and his parents would be constantly informed of this if it was happening often. Maybe tone it down a bit to him more having thoughts of this, and one or two incidents of actually telling people (resulting in suspensions, etc). The rest of the profile is pretty good, with just some minor grammar and spelling errors. Remember that commas aren't just one-size-fits-all - semicolons are your friend! Okay, if you could complete those changes, that'd be awesome. Let me know when you've got those under control and I'll give him another looksee. |
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(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side) | |||
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| gambit508 | Dec 15 2009, 09:23 AM Post #7 | ||
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Has His Eye On Someone
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Nah, I understand. Fixed | ||
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Jonathan Jarocki-B015 QOM: "Oh good, one person isn't going to kill me out of two hundred and seventy five, what a relief" Current Location: Hall of Mirrors Current Weapons: Steyr TMP (x4 clips [capacity 15 9mm rounds], 50 Rounds Left) Current Supplies: 1 Mountain Dew Can, 3 M&M Packets, 2 Bread Loaves, 2 Cracker Tins, 4 Bottles Of Water, 1 Lighter Current Status: Injured Kill Count: 0 Injuries: Busted Lip "Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius" "Damnant quod non intellegunt " "The game of love is never easy, that's what makes the prize so wonderful" v5 Concepts | |||
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| ifnotwinter | Dec 15 2009, 02:23 PM Post #8 | ||
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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
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APPROVED. | ||
(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side) | |||
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