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Katherine Daramour; Katherine Daramour's profile.
Topic Started: Oct 17 2009, 07:48 PM (417 Views)
KelleyA
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Sup biyatches
[ *  * ]
Name: Katherine Daramour
Age: 17 (26th May)
Grade: 12th Grade
School:Bayview Secondary School
Hobbies and Interests: Pageantry, Swimming, Tap Dancing,

Appearance: 5' 6 1/2" (1.69 metres). Katherine's measurements: Bust 34, Waist 22, Hips 33. Weight 125lbs (8.9 stone). Katherine has a heart shaped face with a rather thin yet average formed nose and bow shaped lips. Her eyes are dark brown and her ears are just below average size. She has long dark brown hair with natural waves at the tips that is usually styled to go down her back with a small updo usually complimenting her look, when she's opting for a more casual appearance she straightens it. Katherine is Caucasian, but has naturally tanned skin, and never appears to pale unless sick or sleep deprived. Katherine has only a few blemishes and imperfections that are covered with blusher, concealer and foundation. Katherine has a couple of freckles and moles on her neck, wrists and back. She is considered highly attractive and is one of few girls who has natural beauty, yet still wears cosmetics. Katherine's eyebrows are thin and imply that she's serious, and also compliment her more mature looking features.
(reference: http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI1NTE5NjkzNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwODI5MTAz._V1._SX311_SY400_.jpg)

Biography: Katherine was born and raised in Eau Claire, Minnesota by her parents Richard (Real Estate) and Shea (Former Miss Minnesota, Former Model) in what was a fairly well off family who had a good home and privileged lifestyle. She was, however, the shadow of her older sister Patricia, and was reminded of it almost everyday by her mother. Patricia was on the honour roll, achieving top grades, voted most likely to succeed, Homecoming Queen, Prom Queen, Class President, Miss Eau Claire and winner of numerous talent shows held in both Eau Claire High and Eau Claire town hall. Katherine achieved good, but not brilliant grades, put on the student council before quitting as it cut into her social life and only achieved 3rd place at best (and once) in the numerous pageants her mother forced her into.

Katherine was usually lonely at home, and was often blamed for her sisters few mishaps. Katherine wasn't fond of pageantry, but eventually learned to endeavour to make her mother happy. She worked hard to improve her grades, and slowly slipped down the social ladder of her school clique and took up a new hobby that she knew she could outshine her sister in. Katherine soon became the champion on the unofficial Eau Claire High swim team and gained various medals and certificates in different competitions around the state. She also took up tap dancing, to aid her in getting high marks in the talent segments of pageantry, and chose tap as opposed to her sister’s ballet and jazz styles. Swimming and Tap-dancing soon became the two defining features of her personality, and as she slowly became a nobody in her school her father got a promotion and became manager of the real estate branch in St Paul. Katherine became a 10th grader at Bayview Secondary school, and wasn't taken up on any offers to join cliques or social groups, or even a simple friendship by any of her new peers.

Katherine soon learnt that her general appearance and interests led others to assume she would immediately want to socialise with members of the same sex, but was often cast aside because she was an outsider, not a local and was attractive, something the more popular girls didn't appreciate. Katherine did have acquaintances of the same sex, but went to hang out with boys more often, she did however, not inform her parents of her new tomboyish behaviour. Katherine was however, aware of her attractiveness, and didn't mind that she was accepted into most male cliques as a trophy, the same reason most of her boyfriends were leaders of various cliques, or had high positions within the school (head of clubs, captains of varsity teams etc). She was never truly appreciated for her personality, and was mainly accepted on a skin deep basis. She lives in a fairly large house with her mother, father whilst her sister is in Hollywood getting bit parts in films and television shows, she has her own car and her parents have a maid and a gardener. Katherine always yearns to be acknowledged for who she is, rather than trying to make people like her. She has common sense and smarts, and her report card has A's and B's with a couple of C's here and there.

Advantages: Katherine is attractive and therefore has some advantage in manipulating boys if that is her chosen game plan. Due to a childhood of being outshone she is always looking to prove her worth and ambition will aid her in achieving her goals. Due to befriending boys over girls, Katherine has been slightly toughened up and will fair well in should she enter hand to hand or melee combat with another female of a similar build. Where she isn't the fastest student, she does have a good amount of stamina and can keep going for longer than most other girls, can jump higher and climb over walls with more ease and is a strong swimmer, she is also able to hold her breath for over 2 minutes should she be throttled, smothered or drowned by a fellow student. Has an overall good sense of character.

Disadvantages: Her lack of confidence and self esteem often eat away at her guts and she may end up erasing carefully thought out plans and strategies and end up doing a split second action or choice that could result in her death. Her attractiveness could lead to possible assault and rape in the game, as well as lack of compassion from envious female peers. Even though she has at one point had a low level of friendship with most students, she is only on the level of associate with most and has fallen out of touch with others making chances of gaining trust or joining a group slim. Has little experience with firearms, only past use comes from shooting tin cans and beer bottles with an air rifle with the boys next door.
Edited by KelleyA, Nov 6 2009, 06:40 AM.
B027 Macon Carmody
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G035 Bianca Borycki
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G045 Katherine Daramour
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G053 Lexie Logan-Price
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
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ifnotwinter
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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Hi, and welcome to SOTF! It's always nice to see new bright and shining faces, so let's get down to business, shall we?

Unfortunately Katharine is temporarily DENIED.This is an excellent first effort, but it is going to need a bit of fixing up before it can be approved for v4's pregame. I'm going to start at the beginning and walk you through what needs to be done - if you have any questions or concerns, feel free to PM myself or another member of the staff team.

First off, your appearance is mostly good, but I'd like it to flow a little better. Steer away from broken sentences, and make sure your grammar is completely up to par. ('She is' instead of 'Is', for example). Also I'd like a complete rewording of this sentence "Katherine is caucasian and has naturally tanned skin, but not dark enough to appear tanned." Caucasian should be capitalized, and you seem to be contradicting yourself - she has 'naturally tanned skin' but doesn't appear tanned? Maybe change that to 'naturally dark skin' or something similar.

In general her bio is quite good, I'd just give it a quick once over for spelling and grammar, mainly run on sentences. I'd also like to know a little more about her grades and what her home life is like right now.

Advantages are mainly good. Again, remember to run through for spelling and grammar, I caught a couple of mistakes there C: There are two things I'd also like you to remove from the advantages. One is her ability to judge people, as I just don't find it feasible that she would be able to judge who was or was not trustworthy based on first glance. Almost no one can do this reliably, and when it's compounded by a stressful situation it's even more unlikely to work.

I'd also like you to remove the part about her looks being an advantage in the context of possible assault rather then a kill. Although her looks would indeed assist her in manipulating people, making people more prone to considering raping her is not an advantage at all - in fact, it's a disadvantage.

Disadvantages seem good, just give a quick peek over for grammar, please. I'd also question the phrasing of "little or no experience with firearms" - she either has a little experience, or she has none :P. If she has experience, that's okay, but please make sure it's at least referenced in the biography.

So there you have it! Please make the changes and post in this thread once Katherine has been edited, not before (makes it easier for the mods to glance through and see who's still waiting on a review). Once that's done, I'll be happy to take another look and hopefully approve her.


marc st. yves
light it up or burn it down we'll all die in fire
{food for thought}


phineas rosario
fall down seven times stand up eight

sebastian conway
can't see the forest for the trees
{book of sparrows}


(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side)
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KelleyA
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Sup biyatches
[ *  * ]
Thanks for replying ^ _ ^! Anyhoo, I've added, removed stuff you told me to but I'll do the grammar, sentence structures, spellcheck tomorrow as I'm REALLY SLEEPY atm : P. I think I said she gets high grades to the extent that studying once took over her social life, but she's been maintaing it ever since, she gets A's and everynow and then a B, C's are rarietys, I'll add that in if you think I should : ).
B027 Macon Carmody
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G035 Bianca Borycki
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G045 Katherine Daramour
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G053 Lexie Logan-Price
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
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ifnotwinter
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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
That's awesome that you've started on the revisions, but please please please don't post a reply to this thread until all edits have been completed. It makes it so much easier for mods to see who still needs reviewing and who doesn't.

Thanks ^_^


marc st. yves
light it up or burn it down we'll all die in fire
{food for thought}


phineas rosario
fall down seven times stand up eight

sebastian conway
can't see the forest for the trees
{book of sparrows}


(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side)
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KelleyA
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Sup biyatches
[ *  * ]
I do believe everything has been edited, but will edit AGAIN if you spot anything wrong with it ^ ^
B027 Macon Carmody
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G035 Bianca Borycki
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G045 Katherine Daramour
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
G053 Lexie Logan-Price
Location: N/A
Status: N/A
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ifnotwinter
Member Avatar
half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Excellent work, thanks! Katherine is APPROVED


marc st. yves
light it up or burn it down we'll all die in fire
{food for thought}


phineas rosario
fall down seven times stand up eight

sebastian conway
can't see the forest for the trees
{book of sparrows}


(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side)
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