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escaping the real world to face reality
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They just had to fuck around with grey goo.

((B045: Alan Banks: Start))

I mean like sure it takes quite some mental gymnastics to link this to grey goo and like I'm sure there's easier stuff I mean whole bunch of kids are dying so yeah. That impact not good enough for you? No? Ok ok here's how it works. Constant terrorist attacks lead to increase in government military spending lead to advancements in nanotech. Which leads to grey goo. Fucking grey goo, fuckers.

Hey Alan you okay there?

Everything's okay, everything's fine, as long as he keeps thinking about grey goo everything will be fine OH CHRIST fuck no fuck why you just had to become self-aware there for a second. You just had to be self-aware for a second and now all your lovely plans for staying happily deluded are just


Okay. Showtime. This was like some movie shit, huh? The terrorists-- okay, terrorism is a loaded term and needs to stop getting thrown around but maybe just this once it's actually justified so fuck yeah he can call them terrorists-- had trapped them in some movie shit. Can you kill your best friend? Can your best friend kill you? Ooh aah scary and deep and all that. So you put on a fucking show. You put on your badass cape and your badass trenchcoat and hold up your badass gun and say some badass words and then, well, and then

You already know what to do with this narrative.

And yeah, maybe a part of him was whispering something to him. Something like: Hey Alan uh you know the terrorists just want a good show right. You know rebels are pretty popular and entertaining in show biz right. You know this plays into their hands. Their fucking gloved machine-gun-wielding cybernetically-enhanced mystical magical ringwraith terrorist hands.

Hey voice uh how about you fuck off before Alan thinks he's schizophrenic and shit. Because fuck it if Alan was going to sit around and be some boring kid. That'll be some rebellion. No, Alan was going to rebel and he was going to make the terrorists laugh like kids in the candy store and then the candy was going to have fucking poison in them. Because this rebellion was going to fucking work.

So how do you do lead a rebellion without a badass gun, right?

Okay okay this is easy. You walk up to someone and ask for their gun. And they give you their gun, because you're a trenchcoat badass rebel guy and they're so in awe they give up their gun to fight for the cause. And if they're assholes and they don't believe well then, well then! Then you get to hold them up with your badass fucking lightsaber. Yeah, Alan had been itching to use the thing, he really had.

Keep your lightsabers away guys the market's in town.

Alan was fucking in.

"Hey, um, no cigarettes here, but I got like a lightsaber if you wanna deflect bullets and stuff."

Badass rebels need no swords.
dear god dear god tinkle tinkle hoy

G056: Asuka Takahara: The one who can out-pretentious them all.
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