"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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RedAstaire
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grim wolf wannabe
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Alessio could hear steps, silence and then Serena replied to him. If Alessio needed anything, he should stand up and go to her. That was an option given to him. A new option. But what did Alessio need? What did Al need that was worth standing up, entering the game, ready to be killed in some way? What would he achieve with talking to Serena, knowing that she was going to die, just like him? Wouldn't it make him even feel worse, talking to her? Discussing about the situation they were in, failing to comfort each other, trying to form a plan for survival that was going to fail anyway, since the chances that one of them survives, is slim. Getting to know her better so when she dies earlier than him, he will feel worse about living? Her getting to know him better for her feeling worse when he dies?

What possibilities happen when he stands up?

Maybe Al should stand up, to comfort Serena. It could have been possible that she needed company and not that she offered him it. Possibly. Her voice also did not sound too happy.

But that wouldn't help either. It would help neither of them, in the end. But, it helps them temporarily. Is the temporal comfort worth it? Is it worth more than just lying and wait it to end, in a less exhausting, less mind-breaking way?

Al changed his lying position. He did not like lying on his back. He switched to lying on his side, feeling his face against the floor. Still, he said nothing.

So many questions. He had too many questions, whose answers will not matter, because he was going to be dead, and with him, his thoughts and the memories of the thoughts.

Wouldn't he have been luckier waking up next to a person that wanted to kill him instead of helping him, like Serena? He would have had less painful thoughts.

He could stop the thoughts though. He could stand up, and focus less on thinking but on acting.

He was not Gregor Samsa, who turned into a bug; he had the choice to stand up. Though, Al would have rather been a bug, who would not think about death, about dying than himself right now. Bugs also are tortured, but they are not afraid of death. Or that's what Al thought. He was born wrong. He could have been born a bird. A free bird. A caged bird. A bird. Still free from this madness caused by humans. This cruelty has probably some political background. This abduction was political, and they were unfortunate enough to be involved in it. Birds had no politics. Birds had more freedoms that he will ever get.

He could stand up. He had the opportunity to. It was a choice. He couldn't decide.

These thoughts did not help stopping tears to flood out or a silent cry to be released.
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She Swallowed Burning Coals · The Asylum Library