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i'm not upset
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Caleb calmed down a little. He felt very tired, like he'd just hiked for hours. He stared straight ahead in something like a trance.

He remembered coming down the stairs at home, his right hand in an itchy cast. He came down second, he was always second. The living room was all fucked up. Drawers were open, loose wires splayed and the outlines of where objects once were in dust.

He blinked slowly. He remembered his twin, Andy. He remembered palling around with him and sitting on the couch.

"Did you hear that thing Kanye West said or whatever?" he said, hanging upside down on the couch.

"No," responded Andy hunching forward to see Caleb. "What did he say?"

"Dave Chapelle says he was hanging out with him and the phone rang. All he hears Kanye West say is 'Hello. Huh? What? Uh uh, I can’t. I can’t. Cause, I’m at Dave Chappelle’s show watching sketches that nobody’s ever seen before.'

And then he says, 'Cause my life is dope, and I do dope shit,” and then he hung up.' "

Andy burst out laughing in a high sort of cackle totally different than Caleb's.

"Cause my life is dope," said Andy.

"And I do dope shit," finished Caleb cracking a rare smile.

Caleb would never be happy again and he would die for nothing. Life wasn't perfect, but he put in an effort. He had tried and it was all going to fall apart. He was dizzy now. There were two noises from different directions. His hands weren't shaking as violently as they had been. He scrambled, trying to wipe the tears and distress from his face.

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Lone Wolfe · Intensive Care Wards