"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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i'll be your light, your match, your burning sun
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
This was probably going to be a mistake.

Jeremy knew this, and at the same time had no idea what he was going to get into by walking into the library.

((Jeremy Frasier, continued from Not My Tempo))

Poor impulse control, y’know? There’s an opportunity that arises, it looks like something that’s a good idea and there's nothing that necessarily suggests that it’s a bad thing to do and honestly you just want to do it and it’s so inviting that you rush in without really properly thinking. Flash forward to after it’s done, it turned out to be not a good idea and while everyone else involved has likely forgotten about it you haven’t and it’s always in the backend of your mind, sneering at you and making you cringe every time you’re forced to remember it. A lot of the experiences that Jeremy would rather forget would go under the definition he just outlined, and yet even as he grew older and he became more aware of this idea that maybe he shouldn’t just rush into a situation without thinking about it he still did it; maybe not as much as he used to but enough times for him to still be annoyed at himself for it.

Because like, he was kinda lonely today. He had yet to actually have a conversation with someone who was at the level of him respecting them or knowing them or him at the very least finding them interesting. Every time he had opened his mouth today he was either exchanging pleasantries, talking to someone he found honestly kinda boring or talking to Adelaide, who honestly he should have switched seats away from at this point but didn’t really want to make it seem that he had given up on trying to challenge her. He was heading to a group that he knew would at the very least accept him, but the chances of them pining his interest couldn’t really be relied on.

So, when he saw that library door and looked at his watch, figuring that he could spare a couple minutes, he decided that fuck it, if it was empty or if it was boring or if it was internally killing him he could make an excuse and bail. Wouldn’t even need to if it was the first one, but whatever, minor things.

So he walked in. Immediately saw four people, which meant that if a fifth joined it’d be kinda crowded. Looking further though it was more like two groups of two. Still would be crowded if he joined but given his poor impulse control there was absolutely nothing that was going to go wrong. Actually it was likely that everything would go wrong here, but at least if this happened and this was going to be a moment he would hate then at least maybe he’d be able to push one of his other mistakes out of his mind. Too much save data and something had to be deleted, or something. May as well try.

So he went forward, and gave a bit of a closer look so he could figure out who everyone else was. Fiyori Senay. Georgia Lee Day. Dorothy Shelly. Rea Adams. He knew Fiyori (and there was something on his mind about her, so at least he had a little bit of a draw there), he knew about Georgia (stuck up and thought she was smarter than everyone else, apparently; might be confusing her with Jasmine from the year below though). Dorothy and Rea who made up the other group he had no clue about. Wildcard. Might be interesting, might not be. Probably the latter. Who knew.

Given that Fiyori was in the tier of “interesting people” in the list he had in his head, though, he figured that it was better to pick the known good choice rather than the wildcard choice. He went to the table directly opposing the Fiyori/Georgia duo and sat down, taking the book with the most interesting spine as he went.

He opened the book, looking around. Best to judge the situation before joining it? Maybe.
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The Library Is The Power House Of The Student · Beale Library