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“That’s what she said,” Jeremy replied to Danny in a sing-song kind of tone. Hey, someone had to say it. They were in the sex-ed class that at this point was probably going to be from hell, so twelvie jokes were the least he could do to make the situation better. Well, better for him, anyway; maybe Haley too, she seemed to be having a bit of fun with the situation. Looking at Danny and Emma he doubted that they were going to enjoy this. Danny was already stumbling through his sentences and Emma’s tone of voice became more and more awkward the longer they were here. For Jeremy, though? He was fueled by the suffering of others. The longer he was here, the more chipper he became.

Someone suggested that they start a competition to see who could put a condom on the fastest, and everyone sat around the table. “A foursome it is then.” Jeremy said, under his breath. He was kind of ashamed of that remark, but hey, it was sex ed. He needed to say as much sexual innuendo as possible while he had the chance, and even though nothing had happened that he could play off of so far, the tone of the class so far meant that it wasn’t really out of place.

Emma held the banana up, and- wait was that actually a banana? This didn’t really look like a real one. This was smaller, the yellow seemed more forced. He could see an outline near the bottom of it. It could be possible that the school happened to grow bananas that looked like plastic, but even then it was still worth checking out. “Wait, hold up.”

He pointed at the banana, which Emma was almost going to give to Haley. Whatever the banana actually was, he wanted Emma to be the first one to see it. “I don’t think we’re supposed to put the condom on the top of the banana. Look at the circle outline thing on the bottom. The banana skin is a cap.” He looked over at Haley, sh-

Wait, no. They. Uuuuuuugh. The whole “having no gender” thing was going to be super annoying, he could tell already. He wondered how many times he was going to call them a she before the lesson was done? Oh well, if he only called her a they out loud she wasn’t going to get pissed.

“I mean, I know that your cousin’s aching to just do it right now, but we gotta make sure that they do it right, y’know?”

Oh hey, accidental innuendo. Neat. This class was going to be fun already.
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Everything You've Always Wanted To Know · Memories from the Past