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You've been counting stars, now you're counting on me
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Hello. My name is Kimberly Nguyen, and in the spring of 2008 I survived the terrorist program known as Survival of the Fittest. Since then, I have had a lot of time to think about what happened. I have considered at great length whether sharing my story would be moral or responsible, and, as you can see, I have come to a decision.

What you are about to read is how events happened, or as close to that as I can reconstruct from my perspective. I have made no attempt to whitewash or excuse my actions. Due to my choices, two girls died by my hand. The knowledge of that is something I've lived with every day, and it's something I will continue to bear for the rest of my life.

My account of events is being published online, unedited by anyone besides me. I'm sharing it in the hopes that it may help people understand and come to terms with the incident. I know that the attacks have been traumatic to the United States of America as a nation, just as they have been to the students of the targeted schools and their relatives as individuals.

Before you read anything more, I would like to make one thing crystal clear: the story of Version Four of Survival of the Fittest is not my story. It's the story of two hundred and seventy-six teenagers. It's the story of six teachers. It's the story of thousands of friends and relatives. It's the story of countless human beings, none of whom will ever be the same. I can offer my limited view, and that's it. Some of my classmates have shared their views, as is their prerogative. Others have remained silent, a decision I respect.

What I have written is available for free download, for anyone who is interested. Pass it around through torrents or whatever. As I see it, this is an alternative to you going and watching the damn tapes yourselves. We can't afford to forget what happened, but we can afford even less to fetishize it. I have not written at length about gore and death. If that's what you want, fuck yourself and die. The world doesn't need people like you.

I'd just like to make clear once again that I am not seeing a penny of profit from this writing. It is not my goal to prostitute myself and my story for fame and fortune. Others are far better at that than I. If reading this inspires you, if you find what I have written to be worthwhile, perhaps you could send $27.95 to a worthy charity organization. I believe that is approximately the going rate of a hardcover these days.

I would also like to take a moment to dedicate this to everyone who did not make it off that island.

This is for:

Lily Ainsworth, Imraan Al-Hariq, David Anderson, Jessie Anderson, Lucy Ashmore, Sarah Atwell, Julian Avery, Örn Ayers, Tiffany Baker, Steve Barnes, Robert Barron, Celeste Beaumont, Theodore Behr, Edward Belmont, Aston Bennett, Gloria Benson, Janet Binachi, Daniel Blessing, Samaya Boen-Hilstrand, Aileen Borden, Alice Boucher, Courtney Bradley, Ericka Bradley, Etain Brennan, Jimmy Brennan, Rhory Broderick, Liam Brooks, Jacquard Broughten, Warren Brown, Rein Bumgarner, Carol Burke, Omar Burton, Alexander Campbell, Orpheus Campbell, Christopher Carlson, Charlotte Cave, Tiffany Chanders, Jacob Charles, Nathan Choultard, Keith Christoph, Winsome Clark, Jason Clarke, Janet Claymont, Rose Codreanu, Sally Connelly, Carla Conners, Jake Crimson, Chadd Crossen, Maxwell Crowe, Chris Davidson, William Davis, Charles Dawson, Sebastian Decartes, Carly Dooley, Violet Druce, Charlotte DuClare, Trevor Duncan, Tobias Elwin, Colin Falcone, Saul Fetteralf, Francesca Fiametta, Ilario Fiametta, Rosalia Fiametta, Harold Fisher, Simon Fletcher, Ricky Fortino, Samya Franklin, Tyler Franklin, Clio Gabriella, Isaiah Garvey, Rachel Gettys, Kitty Gittschall, Maria Graham, Simon Grey, Gary Griffith, Tom Guthrie, Tabitha Gweneth, Richard Han, Annaliese Hansen, Kevin Harding, Jason Harris, Stacy Hart, Roland Harte, Kristina Hartmann, Rashid Hassan, Lillian Hayes, Roland Hayes, William Hearst, Meredith Hemmings, Robert Herrmann, Craig Hoyle, Aaron Hughes, Steven Hunt, Trent Hunter, Reika Ishida, Reiko Ishida, Petrushka Ivanova, Roman Jackson, Zach Jamis, Jonathan Jarocki, Mike Jeffries, Cody Jenkins, Robert Jenkins, Dawne Jiang, Quincy Jones, Thea Kairos, Hayley Kelly, Daniel Kensrue, Ethan Kent, Remy Kim, Joshua Krakowski, Niklas Kronwall, Staffan Kronwall, Jaclyn Krusche, Mia Kuiper, Ivan Kuznetsov, Cyrille LaBlanche, Claire Lambert, Eva Lancaster, Ridley Landon, Leila Langford, Erik Laurin, Morgan Leftowitz, George Leidman, Nick LeMonde, Robert Lerger, Jamie Li, Melissa Li, Violetta Lindsberg, Albert Lions, Darren Locke, Victoria Logan, Maxwell Lombardi, Eric Lorenz, Martin Lovett, Robert Lowe, Lucas Lupradio, Jasper-Declan MacDermott, Augustus MacDougal, Lily Maclaughlin, Sierra Manning, Sofia Martelli, Brock Mason, Michał Maszer, David Matson, Jackie Maxwell, Kayla McArthur, Aislyn McCreery, Johnathan McDowell, Scott McGregor, Sapphire McLeod, Duncan McMahon, David Meramac, Miranda Merchant, Hermione Miller, Andrew Mitchell, Raina Morales, Francine Moreau, Vivien Morin, Ash Morrison, David Morrison, James Mulzet, Alicia Murazek, Daisuke Nagazawa, Raidon Naoko, Max Neill, Megan Nelson, Mirabelle Nesa, Kari Nichols, Charlene Norris, Michelle O'Cain, Jackson Ockley, Autumn O'Leary, Vera Osborne, Deidre Paul, Jessica Pentangeli, Rena Peters, Remi Pierce, Elizabeth Polanski, Kyle Portman, Benjamin Powell, Madelyn Prowers, Timothy Questiare, Alex Rasputin, Micheal Raynor, Evelyn Reed, Nicholas Reid, Dallas Reynolds, Logan Reynolds, Alan Rickhall, Joseph Rios, Jimmy Robertson, Neill Robertson, Jennifer Romita, Owen Rothschild, Dustin Royal, Tony Russo, Ema Ryan, Rekka Saionji, Maria Santiago, Trent Savage, Sunil Savarkar, Raine Schwarz, William Sears, Alexander Seymour, Brent Shanahan, Peter Siu, Timothy Skula, Feo Smith, John Smith, Madeleine Smith, Fiona Sparki, Adrian Staib, Maddy Stone, Marco Stonecastle, Hilary Strand, Paige Strand, John Sturn, Dominic Stratford, Vanessa Struthers, Marion Summers, Everett Taylor, Milo Taylor, Luke Templeton, Josee Trembley, Ma'afu Tuigamala, Daniel Vaughan, Josie Vernon, Janet Victoriee-Ser, Garry Villette, Rizzo Vitoria, Nancy Wainright, Cassidy Wakemore, Eve Walker-Luther, Alison Walworth, Phillip Ward, Kevin Warick, Mary-Ann Warren, Haruka Watanabe, Frankie Watson, Teo Weinstock, Katelyn Wescott, Amber Whimsy, Alex White, Helen Wilson, and Marybeth Witherspoon

You all deserved better.

Rest in peace.

For me, the game began when I woke up on a beach...
Juliette Sargent drawn by Mimi and Ryuki
Alton Gerow drawn by Mimi
Lavender Ripley drawn by Mimi
Phillip Olivares drawn by Ryuki
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