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Did that guy just say 'swanky'?

And that vinyls are the coolest thing ever?

And is that whiny little girl gonna shut up about Bork?

Three questions ran through Jasper Rourke's mind as he stood facing away towards a rack of old rock vinyls, from the gathering of dweebs that were clustered around the counter. For starters, how did he get stuck here with exactly four nerds on a perfectly fine Saturday afternoon? Usually there was some people who weren't the scourge of Seattle. Y'know, buddies. People who didn't exactly suck at life like these guys happened to. When you look like James Johnson over there and not the famed football coach of the exact same name in his prime, you've hit a wrong turn in life. Of course, none of these people probably even knew who he was. They probably couldn't even name one single member of the Seattle Seahawks. Hell, they probably didn't even know the Seahawks were the name of a football team. Some Americans they were.

When you have nothing interesting to talk about but shitty electronica shit or whatever the hell this 'Bork' was, or dumb shit like 'vid-yo games' or that 'animay' cartoonish crap, you tick off a guy like Jasper. The kids like them seemed to be trapped in their own fine and dandy little world where it was all sunshines and daisies and levels up and nobody gets picked on and everyone's equal and guys like Jimbo here were popular, so naturally it was Jasper's job to remedy that little anachronism in life.

He wasn't that far away from the desk when the little teachers pet called Rachel started yapping on like some kind of talking book about how 'neat' and 'cool' Bork was, so naturally, without even facing away from the rack of records Jasper couldn't help but let out, at the trail end of her little tribute, a loud snoring/snorting noise that kind of echoed throughout the store. Seriously, that girl needed to shut up and listen to real music. Springsteen, Zeppelin, Stones - what kind of name was Bork anyway? Some kind of bodily function?

"Oh, sorry girlies, were you saying something? I heard this "Bork" recently and, wouldn't you know it, I had this sudden urge to fall asleep," Jasper remarked while looking over his shoulder at the group gathered right over there. That ought to get a rise out of them. The little one with the plaits sounded especially passionate about something so stupid. Oh, and that Ruby chick at the counter hated his guts, but that was a whole different ballgame right there. This aught to be fun.
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I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Life is like a broken record · The Neighborhood