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half Iago, half Fu Manchu, all bastard
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Such a fucking surreal conversation. Erik could almost fool himself into thinking he was just on vacation somewhere like maybe their class trip was to an island instead, and here they were all sitting up on a mountain trying to be deep and introspective but really just shooting the shit and tonight there'd be a campfire and marshmallows and discreet booze in hot chocolate that the teachers would ignore.

If only.

His hands were empty again. He turned back to his bracelets, alternately twisting the threads and flipping the buckles on the stained leather cuff. "Nothin' big." His voice was low. He didn't quite look at her. With the attempt at first aid completed, there wasn't a valid reason for them to stay together anymore. She was looking for Kris. She could leave, and that would be that, and he would be alone again and he shouldn't care about because he'd been alone the whole time, pretty much, but...

But. He shook the thought out of his head and found to his surprise that there were words in his mouth. "I'm looking -- I was looking for my boyfriend. Brendan Wallace." His voice was trying to break. He steadied it. He'd left his tears behind. Whatever was occupying the hole in his chest now wasn't grief, or at least not the kind that would try to tear him apart with sobs. "He was trying to escape. I guess he's gone."

Was it deliberately ambiguous? It was the only word he could think of to use. Vanished grief or not, he still couldn't bring himself to use the word 'dead'. It felt too final, too strong, too real. Gone could be any number of things.

He tried a smile. It didn't seem to fit, stretching his lips in all the wrong places, not reaching his eyes. "You want a bodyguard?" Bullet shield. "I hear there's some crazy people out there."

marc st. yves
light it up or burn it down we'll all die in fire
{food for thought}

phineas rosario
fall down seven times stand up eight

sebastian conway
can't see the forest for the trees
{book of sparrows}

(so you've got to keep in mind, when you try to change the world for the better not everybody's gonna be on your side)
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Burn On · The Mountain