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i'm not upset
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Mary-Ann felt faint. She looked at the other girl, Hayley. She pulled out a gun and pointed it at her. She was insane. She was a killer. If there was anyone on the entire island that she could kill and no one would find fault with her, it would be this girl.

She whimpered. The gun shook and rattled slightly in her hands.


Hayley pulled the trigger and that same hollow click that Mary-Ann had heard when RJ was teaching her to use the gun sounded now. It was shallow and unsatisfying to the holder.

Hayley laughed. She was laughing at her. Marry-Ann wasn't even something to be taken seriously. She'd gotten lucky, get again. Mary-Ann stood perfectly still, mouth open, staring at Hayley's gun. The other girl collapsed right in front of her, laughing still.

She stared at her. She could shoot her. She could do it right now and no one would blame her and no one would know. The girl was a murderer many times over. But Mary-Ann bit her lip and lowered the gun. She couldn't shoot an unconscious girl, no matter how much she deserved it.

And then it came at her. It rushed her; flooded her so intensely. She was angry. Maybe she'd never been so angry in her whole life. All the other times, all the other people she'd been angry before now seemed to pale in comparison. Her fingertips filled up with it and she could feel in her eyes when she squeezed them shut. Mary-Ann held onto her gun so hard that the impression of the metallic parts was becoming a pattern on her skin.

Mary-Ann took the gun and swung it at a tree, chipping off the bark. She attacked the tree over and over, using the gun as her bludgeoning tool. Somewhere in her unnecessary attack she began to cry. She could feel the hot tears on her face, but did not stop. She stood straight up again and held her gun, arms locked and fired a bullet into the tree. She'd wasted a bullet.

Breathing hard, she collapsed into a ball on the floor. Mary-Ann held her head in her hands, pulling her hair slightly and screamed. She looked down at the forest floor through her hair and tears.

"I can't even shoot someone. She looked at me like I wasn't even worth the time it would take to cut my throat. Am I so worthless? I can't even protect myself. It should never have been me. I shouldn't have been the one to survive. I don't have what it takes to make it out. Why can't I do ANYTHING? Anything right."

She looked over at the girl, breathing steady and lying still.

"I can't shoot her. I'm not even strong enough to shoot a girl who's out cold."

She thought of RJ again. Would he even want her to take a shot at a collapsed girl? She didn't think he would.

Mary-Ann sighed deep. She rubbed her eyes and looked down at the other girl.

"Lucky..." she echoed back at her.

((Mary-Ann Warren continued in This Side of Paradise ))
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Confiscate the Crown · The Woods: Inland