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You hate kings and you think kings are really stupid. They are petty, bossy tyrants and are really full of themselves and are basically awful in every way.
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Yeah, holy fuck was a start. Holy fuck would do for now.

Okay. Deep breaths now. Check the facts first. Have you killed any people, Jeremy? No. Not even one? No! Have you kicked the shit out of any defenseless injured girls while screaming at them about how they're whores and sluts and whatever else? Yes, one- hey, that's not fair, that's not one of the conditions for getting on the boat! Haha, yeah, you're right, you caught me there.

On the other hand, you did kick the shit out of a defenseless injured girl while screaming at her about how she was a whore. And a slut. And whatever else.

So there's that.

And that might give Jeremy a bit of pause (hahaha, sorry, just laughing at the concept of Jeremy actually stopping to consider something, sorry, go on) when he heads over to the boat and asks for his happy meal. Hard-assed special forces guy, eyes narrowing, safety clicking off, all I got you on tape, motherfucker. I saw what you done. That's enough to make any dumb fucker stop and think.

But it wouldn't actually happen, would it?

No, maybe not... maybe not a bullet between the eyes. Other things, though. If he made it back to civilization. People at school saying fuck you, Franco. Awkward nights at the dinner table at home, pretending like it hadn't happened. Like they hadn't seen shown the footage. Hadn't seen it a dozen times by now. All those great moments in there, which one was gonna be their favorite? And don't you fucking look at me when I'm talking to you! Wow, yeah. That one had seemed a lot more clever at the time.

And- awww Christ. There wasn't- fuck, there wasn't gonna be any ruckus about whether they were getting on the boats, was there? Aww, fuck that, Jeremy had already been fast-forwarding to his shitload of problems waiting for him once he got off the island, he didn't need this shit creeping up on him right here and now.

Garrett was- Garrett was gonna take this, right? Had to, had to. Nobody's enough of a dumb stubborn fuck to say no to something like this. Yeah, yeah, you go and talk up your revolution that you're planning to start any day now any moment now, you put a crown of thorns on your head because hey, look at you, you're the world's douchebaggiest Christ metaphor, but the second something like this falls into your lap, you drop all that shit and start running for the boats.

So bring that up to him, Jeremy. It's gonna suck, because best case scenario is him calling you a retard and saying he's already reached the exact same conclusions as you, but you gotta just go ahead and do it anyway.

“You, um- just so we're on the same page, Garrett- fuck, we're taking this, right? Like, we're literally heading down there right now, soon as I'm done talking we are running straight for that beach, yeah? I mean, look, I know you got your revolution going on here, but, fuck, look at it this way, the revolution just happened, it happened right now, good guys won, and we're getting the fuck off this island. Right? We're in agreement on this. Say we're in agreement on this.”

Do you think that was maybe a bit over the top or
Jeremy Franco is alive. You can write a better ending, goddammit.

Charlie DuClare is dead. And nothing was easy anymore except to smile.
Julian Avery is dead. Courage was the man with a gun in his hand.
JJ Sturn is dead. Fuck it, all good things gotta come to an end.
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A Slight Change of Plans · The Beach: East