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Viewing Single Post From: Maria Graham's Series of Unfortunate Events
MK Kilmarnock
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Hate, hate, HATE!!!
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here. Am I just dragging things out?

Can I really save her from all of this?

Is it bad if I can't make up my mind that... if we're both going to die... which one of us should go first? If I go first, she'll have to face this island without me. If she goes first, I'll suffer... but she'll be put out of her misery. Still, going on without her... I couldn't do it. I'm too selfish.

I'm too fucking selfish and dragging out this hell on earth.

((Ivan Kuznetsov, continued from White Sparrows))


Such thoughts bounced around the restless mind of a boy who no longer lived what he wanted to call a life. Nobody should have been subjected to this, even if he never particularly liked anybody from his own class. Before then, they were people that he shouldn't have allowed to get too close. What was the point in doing so, letting people into your heart, when they might only get in the way of your future goals and dreams of success? He never planned on sticking around St. Paul and growing old in the company of anybody from his school. He never planned on dying with them.

Earlier, the call to sleep had found him holding Tabi close to him, her head laid securely up against his right side, his arm draped over her. He never had the guts to mention it, but he never let go of the knowledge that just like she unknowingly supported his arm and kept it out of pain, so too did she support him, keeping him going in a place that could sap out your will to live. It looked like the island had gotten to Maria in every way possible, but didn't have the kindness and mercy to finish her off. Somewhere deep inside, he felt pity for her. Unfortunately, the feeling was marred by the realization that Maria may have been a sweet girl or whatever, but she was still dragging them down.

Something had to be done, but any option, any window out was covered in broken glass. If he didn't do anything, Maria would slowly bleed out near them on that cot, if she was even still alive. Tabi would have to watch her suffer, and in their attempts to care for the girl, they might expose themselves to danger from the more... ambitious students on the island that were playing for keeps. If he took the other road, though... the coldly logical approach, and killed Maria in her sleep, he might be doing himself and Tabi a favor. When it came down to the facts, that would be the most humane thing to do, and it might also save their lives.

Tabi would also hate him forever.

He looked down to the girl resting against him and bit his lower lip at the thought of that. Ivan no longer doubted that Tabi was very well the validation for his drive to make it as long as possible. He could have given his final goodbyes to his family any time he wanted and stayed in a dangerzone if he truly didn't care about living; his fear of death was no longer an excuse, because it wasn't his own death that he feared anymore. If the one person he cared about on this island, enough the point where she kept him alive... if she hated him...
Edited by MK Kilmarnock, Apr 26 2011, 10:01 PM.
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Maria Graham's Series of Unfortunate Events · The Residential Area