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Viewing Single Post From: Still in the Dark
MK Kilmarnock
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Hate, hate, HATE!!!
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Ivan said what he had to say and, while Tabi still suffered, he felt that his words had made an impact. While the tears flowed, something in the air seemed to have lightened, and Tabi's sobs were just her letting the pain out. Lord knew there was a lot of pain to be letting out thanks to their stay on this island, and he would let her release it in any way she needed to. Though he may have wanted to hug her tight, Ivan kept his draped arms relaxed to allow for her to breathe, shake and sob to her heart's content. He'd be right there if she needed him.

"... It hurts...a-am I supposed to hurt, Ivan?"

I know it does, but how am I supposed to answer that? She's not 'supposed' to hurt. I don't want her to hurt.

Ivan laid as still as he could and tried to steady his breathing. The task became far easier if he only thought about the smooth, warm patch of skin his forehead brushed up against. He could feel Tabi's breath on his ear, tuning in to all her trepidation and fear, but also the relief that he hoped he interpreted correctly. After her long sobbing, he could hear her breathing slow down to a near rest, allowing him to relax more. Tabi had one more question for him, though.

"D-do you hurt...too?"

If only he could forget the answer to this. While still keeping his arms over and under Tabi's sides, he pulled back to try and get a look at her face. Even though he could crane his neck far enough, she seemed to be doing her best to hide her face with her hand as its only clothing, as if there were no other way to keep their emotions locked up from flowing freely... he almost mentioned just how cute it was. Even with her best attempt, though, there was nothing either of them could hide from the other. Every inch of their feelings and soul had mixed between them at some point of the night or another, which was why he would have to let the rest of his pain out as well.

Any tear he shed would have been for her, though, as there were none left in reserve for himself. As her sniffles had already stopped, it looked like there would be no reason to cry... not yet, anyway. Ivan leaned back in, nuzzling ever so slightly against that cheek once more, and whispered the answer to Tabi's question in her ear.

"Every day."

And it was true. Nothing would ever let him forget about what had happened, and if he ever saw Keith again, the best he could ever hope for was forgiveness. When the inevitable finally came and Ivan was dragged away to judgement, it would be all he could ask just to beg and receive Keith's forgiveness, to be absolved of his sins in the name of a mortal mistake. If he could receive that, that and the peace of knowing that he protected Tabi the best he could, he could rest easy.

Even if protecting her isn't going to save my soul, I'll still do it. Ivan spoke to his heart, firming up the embrace for just a moment. Six... seven... however many days ago, hell, I wouldn't have cared less about her. But now I'm willing to do just about anything, and sometimes I don't even know why. I don't even CARE why. ... Do I...

"It's funny..." Ivan said, moving one of his hands up and down Tabi's back again. "... How the world becomes a far less scary place when you're not alone."
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Still in the Dark · The Beach: East