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Viewing Single Post From: Without Love, It Cannot Be Seen
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A friendly clown welcomes you to LOCAH. It seems he would like to be your guide.
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"I'm sorry, Hayley."

For what? some rational part of Hayley, some part that held onto its sanity through the purest denial even as the rest of her began to grasp on some level the truth, responded, though only in her head. Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong. You haven't hurt anyone. You've held on to me through so much shit. You're still here, you're still with me, you've done the OPPOSITE of wrong, honeybee, at least by me. What would I have without you? Without you, I'd be...

Alone. Say it.

No...no, I have-

Say it.

"I'm so sorry."

Hayley started shaking as her body processed the truth. Her mind was at war with itself because if she didn't accept this, didn't believe it, it hadn't happened. The world was Hayley Kelly's and nothing she didn't accept would be true. This was logical and factual and correct and she was not going to be able to swallow it as such for very much longer. Not with the evidence soaking into her skirt and now with that look Ema was giving her, the look you give a widow at her husband's funeral.

Widow wasn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

"I'm sorry, Hayley." Some rational part of Hayley, some part that held onto its sanity through the purest denial even as the rest of her began to grasp on some level the truth, wanted to smack this girl. She needed to stop apologizing when she hadn't done anything wrong because if she kept doing it, that meant something was wrong. And nothing was wrong.

You just can't admit that you failed.

Face the fucking facts, girly. He's dead. Kyle's dead and it's all your fault because you decide, you know what'll be great? Lets go fuck in the woods! Yeah, lets leave Vera behind, like anything ever goes wrong when two teenagers decide to fuck in the middle of goddamn nowhere. That's bloody brilliant, isn't it, not selfish or fucking retarded at all. No, of course you're not a pathetic little slut who had to run off and get laid, not a fucking chance-


You promised. You made a promise. You won't get hurt with me, you said. I'll save you all, you said. I'll protect you, you won't need to kill anyone because I'm here, I'll take the fall, I'll be fucking damned for you, I don't give a fuck even-

I didn't say that.

Don't pretend you didn't think it. You're pathetic. What the fuck did you expect? To just walk away from this island with Kyle and Ema and Maddy and Alex and Isabel and Jay and Dutchy, just skip away into the goddamn sunset? He was going to die anyway. But because you are a selfish, immature, pathetic failure, he's dead now and you need to fucking deal with it.

Look alive, sunshine. You're not dead yet.

Then Ema's arms wrapped around her, and she finally collapsed, trembling, into them, those choking sobs escaping her throat, tears coming back, and some rational part of Hayley, some part that held onto its sanity through the purest denial even as the rest of her had fully grasped the truth, worried for her eyeliner, for her appearance on camera. The rest of her ignored that bit because there were more important things to worry about, pressing matters, here meaning continuing to break down.

"I am so, so sorry."

"Me too," she whispered back, through the sobs, and she was. Sorry for failing. Sorry that she clearly was incapable of protecting anyone. Sorry that she'd apparently been lying all this time, sorry that her presence was proof and protection of absolutely shit-all at the end of the day, sorry that she was sitting here shirtless and covered in her (ex?) boyfriend's blood and crying like a bitch.

Sorry that she wasn't a better guardian. A better friend. A better girlfriend.

Sorry for everything.

Six days on the island. Four kids dead because of me. And I hadn't lost anyone.

Karma's slow, but she's still a bitch.
Edited by Hollyquin, Feb 15 2011, 08:49 PM.
being meguca is suffering

[x] Aidan Flynn [B???] // Passing slowly though the vector, damp with fog, the bog that grows the former business sector...
[x] Chitose Saionji [G???] // 公園に千歳は本を読む!

Winston Evans aced the last English test and would like to point out how gorgeous your shoes are.

Those Who've Known - V4
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Without Love, It Cannot Be Seen · The Woods: Coastal