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personification of adhd
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Colin and Tim's worries were the most welcoming part of the whole experience. He was finally getting back on his feet again, after...after everything. He made a plan, he simply put it out there for both of them to hear, and now he had hope, promise, something to look forward to.

As the group started heading off in the general direction of the warehouses, or wherever they seemed to need to go, Jacob stopped. There was one more thing he needed to do.

Turning around in the sand, he walked back to the exact spot he was sitting, when he let it all out. Underneath his foot, or where his foot stood, was a hole in the ground. A small hole, dug by a human foot mindlessly drilling away beneath him. A hole which now held a remnant, a little reminder, of the things he'd never get back again.

His love.

His marriage.

His happiness, his true happiness, to be precise.

With his hands, these were buried beneath a few layers of sediment, and his eyes shut again. Jacob leaned forward and pressed his head to the sand.

Everything he remembered thinking was coming back now.

Fuck his dad. He never cared about Paige anyway, thought she was a waste of time.

Fuck other people. They were gonna bring him down. If they weren't on first-name basis, they were nothing.

Fuck the view. It was that view and that view along which tugged him back into his harsh reality, and if he didn't need it, he didn't need it.

Fuck the island. He could look forever, and he'd probably never find Paige again. The island had swallowed her up, taken her from his grasp.

Fuck his friends. Fuck, his friends, they were all the reason he had left now. If he tried to stay on his own, or tried to find something else, he wouldn't make it past the next day.

Fuck everyone around him. The people around him were the reason he was now short a life. It wasn't Danya, it was them. Unless Danya squeezed his fat, ugly hands around their throats, then he wasn't responsible for ending their lives, it was the people he used to think of as a safe haven.

Fuck the game. Fuck this whole thing, the only thing in his life he couldn't win. Any game he partook in was easy pickings, since he was a huge hulking motherfucker who didn't even have the brainpower to know when to quit. But this game was taking everything away from him, not just his life, but his ability to think properly about what he needed to do.

Fuck the ocean. A wall of water, trapping them all. It was a prison, it was something he never wanted to see, a wall of water. It wasn't a literal wall, that would be dangerous, but it was the same in theory as well as practice. A wall. Water. It...Maybe if he was literally as close to dying as he was last time, he could come back here. Just to scream to the ocean one last time.

Fuck Danya. No matter what, he had to get whatever the hell was coming to him. Jacob would never be able to do it, but somebody had to. If someone could just end him, or even get near him just fast enough to break his neck, make him hurt...

Fuck everything in the whole world. Everything in the world was not what was waiting for Jacob Charles after these precious few moments. This island, this fucking island, was all that was waiting for him.

Paige was gone.

But a new existence spread out in front of him. An existence that relied on making sure that somebody who deserved to live, someone who had everything to live for, made it out of here.

He lifted his head from the sand, and opened his eyes.

"Goodbye Paige."

Lifting himself from the sand, he started off fast after the two boys, probably wondering what he was up to.

I love you Paige, and I always will. You'll be in my heart for the rest of my life.

Rest in peace.

((Jacob Charles continued in Stay Frosty))

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I can't sing but I wrote you a song

Wrong notes but the melody's so clear

When I'm lost, I'm still close to gold

cause I found my treasure in you
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Youth and Beauty Brigade · The Beach: North