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Viewing Single Post From: Late Dawns and Early Sunsets
Little Boy
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Jimmy was panting, straining as he tried to keep his breathing steady. He was failing miserably. His hand was aching, his fingers had long gone numb. His fists seemed a permanent part of him, an extension of his will. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. He had no idea where the boy had appeared from, or for how long he had been there laughing at him. He could feel his mind bend, and he pushed, willing himself to snap. But it wasn't that easy. The words ripped him apart. He felt weak, he felt like crying. His bottom lip quivered in a deadly mixture of sorrow and rage. Jimmy Brennan could almost feel the cameras all around, focusing in on him. His mind was doing cartwheels, screaming out a song, pushing him ever closer to the breaking point. And it was just what he wanted.

A tiny voice held him back. A tiny shred, a mixture of his fear, his self-loathing. If he failed, what would he be? Just another Youtube clip. Just another hilarious blooper, an ugly death. It wasn't time for action. The voice had always been there, unacknowledged, crammed in the back of his brain. Jimmy couldn't afford to let it out, even let it know it existed. He was undefeated. He had to be unbreakable. And the voice ensured it. The voice told him it was a fluke, a lucky shot. The voice said that it wasn't game day, the voice said it was a practice run. It held him back, and it kept him sane. But he couldn't afford it now. He couldn't afford to wait any longer, he couldn't afford to LIE.

"Shut up." He said, his voice cracking with the last syllables. "Shut up. You don't know anything!"

Through his growing rage, he recognized the figure... Alex White. Just another face in the halls, just another mocking voice. It seemed like the entire student population of Bayview was intent on kicking him while he was down. It didn't matter what he wanted, it didn't matter what he tried. They wouldn't understand. They didn't understand, not one of them. Jimmy was understanding. The gears, the reasoning for Danya's existence... it was all clicking as the self-induced madness began to envelop him.

Not even here, on the Island. They're still THEM. They're still the fucking monsters they always were! That's why it exists! That's why- it's just a display! We're just on display! And they don't understand it's over! They don't understand, and- and they think it's a joke! They think it's funny and its'- how!? How is it funny!? God! How is it funny God?! Am I just a joke to you?! You asshole, you fucking slut! Go die Jesus! Go die Mary and Joseph and all your fucking angels, and especially you God, because you are a fucking prick!

His breathing grew even faster. Jimmy made short quick gasps as if he was desperate for air. His face glowed bright red as he fought back a loosing battle with his tears.

"I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die! Isn't that enough for you!? What the FUCK IS ENOUGH FOR YOU!?" He screamed, stumbling down the hill towards the pair.

Jimmy's brain began to race faster and faster, spinning around in a confusing jumble that even he couldn't make sense of. He didn't know what Alex was saying, he didn't even know if they had finished talking. The words were flowing out of his mouth, and he knew he had past the point of no return.

"I get here! I get to this place, and it's supposed to be HELL! It's supposed to be fucking apocalypse, we're supposed to be massacring each other, raping and shooting and outright fucking murder and and- being adults! That's what it's all about! They want us to grow the fuck up, get our dicks wet, fucking KILL bitches, be ANIMALS, BE HARDCORE. And- and that's all it's about! It's a club, it's a fucking country club for all the cunts and the fuckers who think they're tough shit, think they fucking know what it's all about! Because they're MATURE, they UNDERSTAND! NO! THEY DON'T. THEY DON'T GET ME. I DON'T GET IN. I'm not GOOD enough for this, you fucking cunts!? I'm not BAD enough for you? I'm not worth it? You don't think I'm worth a bullet!? I'm worth all the bullets! I'm worth a fucking ATOM BOMB. I CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT, BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING COWARD. I DON'T DESERVE THIS. I DON'T DESERVE TO DIE. YOU DO. YOU DESERVE TO DIE. ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, I'M BETTER THAN YOU! AND THIS IS JUST IT. WE GET HERE, AND IT'S THE SAME. THIS IS BAYVIEW AS IT'S REALLY BEEN. THIS IS FUCKING AMERICA!"

He was crying again, he had sworn he would never again, but it mattered little now. He felt empty inside, and it was beginning to feel comforting. It reminded him of home, it reminded him of nights alone, dreaming of his victory. The victory the voice had assured would one day come, if he would just wait, just hold on and not change a thing...

Jimmy paused, his entire body visibly shaking. He hurt all over. He had begun spilling his guts for all that was worth. He wobbled back, unsteady on his feet. Jimmy Brennan felt a sickening sensation building up inside him, from his guts, up into his chest. He felt loose, elastic-like.

"I DESERVE to win! I suffered, I bled, I did all that shit long before this fucking island made it the style! And now, now that we get here- you all think I'm not worth the trouble? You think I'm not a threat, that I'm a fucking joke!? You think I'm going to sit down, and- and cry like a fucking coward!? You fucking CUNT. You fucking BASTARD. I am going to die! But I swear to that dick-sucking motherfucker up there in heaven, I will die breaking your fucking COCK. I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT, AND STUFF IT IN YOUR ASS. I. HATE. YOU!"

A single thought rang out through his mind.

Jimmy screamed, anger and bloodlust shooting up through his veins and into his lungs. Winding his fist back, Jimmy sailed forward aiming a punch directly towards Alex's face.
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Oswaldo Marx --> "Chicks dig scars? Yeah, I'm calling bullshit." --> Cicada Nights
Mikko "Mike" Korhonen --> "Interesting, very interesting!" --> A Casual Question
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"My dick did the Mexican Hat Dance and I had to suppress the moan that wanted to escape." - Casey

NOTE TO SELF: Burns on the left side. LEFT SIDE.
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Late Dawns and Early Sunsets · The Felled Forest: North