"We tried to be better, but we aren't. I don't think anyone could last more than a week here if they weren't willing to do bad things." - Alba Reyes

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Dr. Nic
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How cute.
[ *  * ]
"What am I doing..."

Alex's outburst had silenced Micheal, that was certain, but it seemed to have done far more damage than intended. When everything was said and done with his anger filled monologue, Gloria was left stammering out a response in fear of further reprisal. She sounded hysterical and her words eventually broke away into crying, Alex barely able to make out the last few words she said. Was he really that terrifying? Did she really think he was going to try and kill her? Well... yeah, she did. Of course she did, who wouldn't? After all, he just came out of nowhere with that outburst, spurred on by something so small and insignificant, especially when you looked back at it. Really, anyone could make that assumption of him now, concluding that he had gone insane and was capable of killing people.

After all, hadn't he resolved to do just that not so long ago?

"I'm not going to kill you and I'm not going to hurt you."

A heavy sigh, sagging shoulders and a few deep breaths followed his statement before he grabbed the strap of the bag lying there in the sand and slung it across his back once again. It wasn't his bag but he still didn't want to just leave it there; food, water, various other little things, all of it might be useful so why abandon it. Alex turned to look at Gloria, dropping his gaze when he saw her still crying hysterically. God damn, he didn't mean to make a girl cry... now he just felt like shit. Nothing snaps you out of a moment of irrational anger like a crying girl.

"I'm not going to make you do anything."

You'd be useless anyways.

He didn't let that last part go anywhere but his mind, trying to calm down a bit before he did end up attacking either of them for whatever reasons he had. Could attack Micheal because he was the clearer threat, a boy who didn't seem to take any of this seriously and didn't know when to shut up. He could even attack Gloria and take that gun from her, she certainly wouldn't know how to use it and he really could just take it from her at this point. But really, did he want to do that? Sure, he attacked Nick and Liz, but they were actual threats at the time, or at least appeared to be. Could he really attack a crying girl and take her only weapon under the pretense of keeping it from being used on the wrong people?

"I could, but I won't."

I should but I can't.

When it came down to it though, he couldn't bring himself to do anything but turn away from the two of them. They hadn't done anything, they hadn't looked to be anywhere near hostile, neither of them were a threat to anyone just yet. There was no way he could feel right taking any weapons they had and he certainly didn't believe Gloria would be a threat to anyone with that gun of hers. Sure, he should take it just to be safe, take the both of them with him and actually do something right, but after that outburst from something so small... he knew he wouldn't be able to do anything until he got things under control. He knew exactly what was going to start happening to him and there was only one way to stop or delay it.

"I'm not going to force you to come with me and I can't promise something like that won't happen again, but believe me when I say that I didn't intend to hurt you. If you want to come with me, I can promise that as long as I am able, I'll do my best to protect you."

He didn't speak directly to either of them and refused to turn to face them, simply making sure all of his things were together and grabbing the pine branch.

"I'm sorry for that outburst but this isn't a game. No matter how often it is referred to as a game or nothing more than a show, our presence here should tell you this is all very real. Start treating it that way or else you'll end up dead very soon."

Alex didn't want to admit it, but even he was wrong in his approach to everything that was going on; there was reason to take this seriously, of course, but treating everyone as a killer or a victim and nothing else? That would end up with him dead or with someone else dead by his own hand. For all his wondering and all his worrying and all the anxiety and paranoia that filled his mind at all times, he doubt if he really was prepared to do whatever was necessary; he'd told himself he was several times over, but there are always doubts when it came to that sort of thing. Of course there were doubts; he knew that if there were no doubts at all, that if he really was willing to do everything needed than he wouldn't be much better than the people who killed without reason. After all... what was his reason?

Did he even have a reason anymore?

So many of his friends had become killers and so many had died, so was his reason really valid anymore? He failed to protect anyone with his method and it didn't look like he was going to make any progress in doing so, so what was his reason for any of this? How could he say he just wanted to protect people when every time he met someone he attacked them, tried to take whatever weapons they had, come to the assumption that everyone would be better off without the weapons... except himself. He really was doing more harm than good with his methods and yet nothing else seemed to make sense; maybe he really was losing it like Gloria and Micheal must have thought he was. After all, how long had it been? Three days? Maybe more? He couldn't remember the last time and now they were gone and there was no escape and their was no reprieve. It was just him and no support and his choices and no help and maybe he was wrong and maybe he was right and maybe there was no choice and maybe there was no other way and maybe his father was right and maybe he shouldn't try and maybe everyone else was right and maybe he really did have problems and...

Enough.

"I'm going to look for Andrea. Even if you don't trust me and even... even if you think I'm nuts, just promise me something okay? Don't end up on the announcements."

Just like that, he walked away.

...

That was it?

[Boy #14 - Alex White. Continued in Late Dawns and Early Sunsets.]
Edited by Dr. Nic, Nov 21 2010, 10:33 PM.
Boy #??? - Joshua Edwards
Hanging out somewhere, playing his heart out.
Writer and local retail slave at the comic book store.

Girl #??? - Viktoriya "Vika" Starikova
Floating in the void, unfinished and half-formed.
Hot headed member of the soft ball team, secretly wishing she could fly.

Those who were
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