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Cannon Fodder
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(Sorry Stef, but I'm skipping too)

Once again, the age old defence mechanism clicked itself into place. That confusing stiff feeling that was somehow mixed with trembles and shivers. Her fingers curling inwards as if affected by rigor mortis, digging themselves deep into the soil of the flower bed. Her eyelids felt heavy, and she simply wanted to shut her eyes and sit there for a while until the butterflies stopped. Only everything wouldn’t be better as she would so foolishly hope, she’d just be sitting there using her own ineffective coping method to blot out the potential threat of Lenny and George at the fountain.

Even her breathing had a nervous stutter to it, every breath of air that came back up her throat tickled and wavered. She slowly nestled her chin into her sweater and shuddered slightly as the cold sweat from her palms made the soil she had dug her hands into had started to turn into a semisolid sludge. Her stomach started to tie itself into a knot and sink deeper into her body, much like she had done at the tunnels. A nervous mouse that just burrows deeper and deeper into the darkness, praying for safety and seclusion. And then she began praying in her mind, the same old repetitive ‘Oh please don’t let them see me! Please don’t let them see me!’ until it was replaced with something strange and new.

‘You’re doing it again Haruka, just being the plain old you, you know. You never were Miss Popularity, you were never the vamp, never in the cool crowd and you most certainly wasn’t the Prom Queen. You were simply that nervous girl who hung about trying to avoid others, afraid that any collision would result in pain and misery. I know you Haruka, because I am you. Just get over it for once! Those people in the tunnels, yeah they seemed a bit rough around the edges but maybe they could have helped you out in the end! You’re so scared that you won’t chance anything, you won’t take a risk.’

‘Look up at those boys, Craig Hoyle, yes Craig Hoyle, he couldn’t hurt a fly despite being that heavy set and, the other one, Trent Savage, does he really look like a killer? Just get over yourself! Either talk to them or run away, just stop trying to be invisible because it really isn’t working! In a matter of minutes they’ll spot you and come over anyway, and if you still are too scared, it’ll be a lot harder to outrun them. So just make up your mind! Remember those slaps from mom and dad? Because you never achieve anything, they don’t make ribbons for quitters and scaredy-cats, do they? Now just do SOMETHING!’

She looked down at the ground, a crease formed on her brows. She had just received a mental tongue-lashing from her brain. She didn’t know whether or not it was the superego or the id, but her mind was ready and waiting for a change of action. She knew she was never going to be a top player, a threat or an antagonist. She knew she probably wouldn’t even make it another day or two, her time was running out and she was nothing more than a disappointment to her parents, and she would probably remain so until her death.

She was always the quiet one, drawing pictures in the margins or being sucked into soap operas. Being the one who appreciated the scenery and natural beauty of things, the one who was at one with the animals and wanted to help them. And yet she was afraid of everything. Her parents had did what they thought would be the best for the family, they moved to America and they even home schooled her until she was ready for school with other kids. She thought about that all the time, their great sacrifices for her, and she never really made much of an attempt to pay them back.

Sure she pushed herself in school when scolded, but apart from that, what else did she do? She wasn’t going to be much of a success in the future, as her adolescent years were spent lingering in the background. And still her parents hadn’t given up on her, they were always pushing and encouraging her to do something. Even if she wasn’t going to be the next winner of Survival of the Fittest or be that much of a memorable contestant, she could at least make a change, here and now. Instead of running and hiding away at every sign of danger, she could just do something, anything that didn’t end up with her frozen stiff and silently begging for her fate to not be so bloody.

And right there and then, Haruka Watanabe became aware of the cocoon she had withdrawn herself into when she descended into the tunnels.

She slowly raised her head, and saw that a third boy was approaching the scene. Owen…Owen something. Owen something, Trent Savage and Craig O’Hoyle the gentle giant. I…I guess I’m lucky, this is a lot better than the last group I ran into, with that…that girl! Haruka slowly crawled backwards, flattening herself against the soil. She folded her arms under her chin, using them as a headrest of sorts whilst she lay flat on the ground. She was scared, terrified in fact but she refused to succumb to it. She’d at least watch them for a while and hope that her position was enough to keep her hidden in plain sight for the time being.

Whether or not she’d join up with them or leave them was her own choice now, not something to be foolishly decided upon impulse. She’d lay there and listen to their words, if she deemed them trustworthy enough she’d reveal herself and pray they didn’t kill her. If she didn’t, she’d pray they won’t notice her whilst she waited for them to leave. It perhaps wasn’t the best of plans, but it was a plan at the very least. Something for her to be proud of, at least for now whilst she began her transformation, tapping away at the walls of her cocoon.

The Owen boy soon dissappeared, leaving Craig and Trent alone. Haruka had seen how Trent had raised his weapon and decided there and then, despite it being a gesture so small and insignificant, that she would wait for her next encounter with others. This was the second group she had bumped into, and she kept thinking that the third one would be the charm.
Edited by Shake&Bake, Oct 26 2010, 03:19 PM.
x 1 oz. Rat PoiSon
x 1/2 oz. Meta-cyanide
x 1/2 oz. Fex-M3
x 1 cup Tiberium

Shake and Stir

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